I cant identify my different muscles

Ok this isn't too hard. It's something you probably have already done to yourself, too.

But don't try this if you have been like "OMGOMG I have to pee sooooooooooo bad right now!!!" It will not be fun! If you just have to casually pee, or even if you don't really feel like you need to but are going to make yourself pee (like before a road trip, etc.) that's a good time for this exercise.

Start to pee. After like a few seconds make your muscles squeeze to keep urine from coming out. It's the same muscles you use to prevent yourself from peeing your pants (like, when you're on a road trip hahaha!!). I know you've flexed these muscles before! We ALL have. Just stop the pee flow for a second or two but focus on how you used your mind to make the muscles flex to make the pee stop flowing. Then relax them and let it flow again. If you still have pee in you, squeeze again and then relax.

You have just successfully used the muscles that you can purposefully flex in order to make the Aneros move in and out of you forcefully! These are also the muscles that are involved in "kegels." However, you are likely flexing your anal sphincters too (there are two of them, one at the outside entrance to your rectum, one on the inside, these sphincters are like "stacked" back to back with little space between).

So the real trick is to figure out how to flex your PC muscles (you need to look this up yourself, I can't even remember how to spell the full word) apart from your anal sphincters. Honestly, it's pretty hard to do this. But the goal is simply TRYING to differentiate the two muscle groups and focusing on that. I surely flex both sets of muscles at the same time and it's a very light, subtle kind of "flexing" that I have to commit to in order to make the PCs flex apart from my anus. Tough stuff! But it's possible. Also, if you have to defecate, and you don't want to, you are squeezing your asshole really tight, right? That's the same set of related muscles that are related to kegels, too.

OPTION #2:
Make your cock hard, and flex these PC muscles to make your cock jump up and down on its own. Have you ever done that? Or, you can make your flaccid penis move around on its own by flexing these muscles too (I do this much to my wife's grinning lol). These are the same muscles that make your cock move around on its own, if you are clamping/flexing those, you are doing a "kegel."

Look up Peter North's tips on how to have a nice strong, cum erupting cock. He talks about things to make your muscles do while you are erect. Also look up the "towel method" I bet if you google that phrase a picture of a boner will appear on your screen haha!

But for real, that's it. Please let us know if you can isolate these feelings and muscles! Good luck!

Can someone help me here?

@techpump gave you some very good instructions, please try them out. I also encourage you to read through the Aneros WIKI's Understanding Your Body section, especially the Pelvic Floor muscles paragraphs. There are some additional information links referenced therein which you may find very helpful as well.
Good Vibes to You !