I can orgasm just by thinking about it.

I've been lurking here for a while and had never really intended on posting, but I need to share all that's been happening with someone and I'm not quite ready to bring this up to friends.

It's stronger when I can relax, and especially if I've smoked a bit, but lately all I really have to do to start experiencing orgasmic sensations is to think about it. This isn't only true about my prostate - I feel similar sensations when I walk barefoot on the carpet. I only need to focus on a part of my body and whatever it's feeling becomes pleasurable. When it started, I was afraid it was going to get out of hand, but the further it progresses, the more intense it becomes and the more my muscles spasm randomly, the more I actually feel like I may be in absolute control of it. I've so far not been in a state where I'm unable to function. I don't even think addiction will be a problem - my body seems to get bored eventually and I just get the urge to do something else, knowing that at any point during whatever I choose to do I can still simply shift my focus and get back into it, albeit a little less intensely than if I'm alone in bed.

This is gonna be a bit scattered, but I want to describe the sensations. More than anything the whole experience feels peaceful, like what the word "peaceful" might feel like if it were a physical sensation. Individual sensations are harder to describe. So, there's the main event, which can only be described as pleasure so intense that you question reality while it's happening. It's literally unreal, and it seems to change. You cannot describe this to someone who hasn't experienced it. Where you feel it is perhaps a bit easier. For me, it feels like it originates from the area of my ass just outside of my anus. I think that's where I feel it by default, but sometimes it doesn't even feel like it's originating from me - it feels like it's outside of me somewhere, but no less intense because of it. Then, there are all of the other sensations. I actually feel nauseous when it's happening and that's a part of it. I have no idea why. Much of the rest of my body, if I focus on it, feels like an itch being scratched. If I focus on my left foot, it tightens up, spasms out and feels like it's being massaged. That part's not necessarily even sexual, it's just pleasurable. My left foot is a huge part of it - I feel sensations in it while focusing on my prostate, as if my body is telling me to focus on it. Rubbing my nipples is almost too strong of a sensation, and the area around them, even my upper chest, feels amazing. It's like being tickled, but not needing to laugh and the sensation is completely enjoyable - not annoying like actual tickling. I can embrace my emotions and feel them fully as well, which was a huge part of the process. Earlier today, after a 20 mile bike ride I relaxed for a bit and focused on a knee that had been acting up and had caused me a good bit of pain. The knee began to spasm, and the sensation spread to my whole leg. It's hard to describe - the only pleasure comes from my foot, but the knee feels like it's being massaged. It's happening now, more intensely, and I do actually think some pleasure is setting in to the knee itself. Yes. I'm having an orgasm in my knee right now. That's happening.

So, how I got here.

Meditation was the start of this particular stage, though I've had previous progress. I've only done it once, at least without having some sort of an orgasmic sensation, which is, of course, distracting. I listened to an audio track from Sam Harris on Spotify to guide me along. The track had nothing to do with prostate orgasms. After ceasing to consider my consciousness as the central aspect of my being and beginning to see it as more of an observer, I was able to better analyze my experiences. It actually got me through a recent wave of depression, since I was able to observe those emotions and anticipate their departure. It also taught me to lean into what I was sensing and feel it more deeply. Everything, not just sexual sensations, even smells. And I think that's the key to it.

So, say, for example, you had a toothache. You would attempt to avoid thinking about that sensation, because it's painful. But if you do the opposite, you feel that pain much more intensely. Why is this the case? You've done nothing but think about it. There seems to be an obvious correlation between focusing on a sensation and that sensation's intensity. So throughout this process, you simply lean into every sensation - new, old, mild, intense, pleasurable, painful, test it all to see where it fits into the big picture. I'm not saying induce pain, but some things that feel slightly painful at first are a part of it. There's one sensation that I feel now and again that seems to indicate an expansion of the experience and I can only describe it as the exact same feeling I felt the first time I masturbated. I had never even thought about that sensation again, and only remembered it because I felt it again, 15 or so years later. That sensation is just a tad painful, but that pain becomes pleasure somehow. My insides seem to be constantly readjusting and opening new pathways for sensations - muscles spasm and I learn to relax them and even expand that relaxation into new muscles that I didn't know I had. Those pathways connect, creating new sensations or intensifying existing ones. This loosens me up in general, it doesn't go away when the orgasm is over.

This is after probably 3 or 4 years of prostate play in various forms, with the Helix being the most helpful toy, though I think there's something to be said for vibration. I've actually tried to avoid following advice on here and learning the terminology lately, because it seems more satisfying and actually easier to discover this on my own now. This whole experience has actually coincided with me figuring myself out pretty thoroughly. I've used my helix once since meditating and, while I would most certainly recommend these products to others, it actually took away from the experience. The sensations were more intense when I removed it.

So, that's where I'm at. I'll probably never buy another Aneros product again.