How to Open Up Prostate Play to Friends without Getting Bullied?

So any idea how to open up prostate play to friends without getting bullied?

This conundrum has been asked before, you might find some ideas in the thread Ideas for Spreading the Word.... I think humor is a good approach to introducing the topic but health benefits can also be a strong selling point. In terms of countering the homophobic thinking of some of your so-called 'online friends' I'd press the health aspect of regular prostate massage for reducing incidences of BPH, prostatitis and reduced odds of incurring prostate cancer.

You might consider linking them to the High Island Health website. High Island Health LLC is the parent company & manufacturer of the Aneros ® brand of prostate massagers, (see Aneros History. This patented device was originally and is currently offered for sale as the Pro-State ® line of massagers on the High Island Health website. The HIH website is primarily oriented toward the health aspects and benefits of prostate massage in accord with Oriental medicine for prostate related issues, I encourage you to check out that site to learn more about the health benefits. You may also be interested in reading about the ongoing Columbia Medical School study using the Pro-State massagers. The High Island Health website also contains testimonials from users regarding their experiences using these wonderful little massagers. That website also provides links to additional information on prostate health, the Aneros® website, by contrast, is oriented toward the sensual, pleasure aspects of prostate massage.

Good Vibes to You !

This conundrum has been asked before, you might find some ideas in the thread Ideas for Spreading the Word.... I think humor is a good approach to introducing the topic but health benefits can also be a strong selling point. In terms of countering the homophobic thinking of some of your so-called 'online friends' I'd press the health aspect of regular prostate massage for reducing incidences of BPH, prostatitis and reduced odds of incurring prostate cancer.

You might consider linking them to the High Island Health website. High Island Health LLC is the parent company & manufacturer of the Aneros ® brand of prostate massagers, (see Aneros History. This patented device was originally and is currently offered for sale as the Pro-State ® line of massagers on the High Island Health website. The HIH website is primarily oriented toward the health aspects and benefits of prostate massage in accord with Oriental medicine for prostate related issues, I encourage you to check out that site to learn more about the health benefits. You may also be interested in reading about the ongoing Columbia Medical School study using the Pro-State massagers. The High Island Health website also contains testimonials from users regarding their experiences using these wonderful little massagers. That website also provides links to additional information on prostate health, the Aneros® website, by contrast, is oriented toward the sensual, pleasure aspects of prostate massage.

Good Vibes to You !

Thank you for such comprehensive answer

Seems @rumel beat me to it, but here is my response.

Good for you for trying to expand the male sexual experience with friends/colleagues/acquaintances. However what you are finding out is not uncommon and more the norm. There has been other post here highlighting the same conversation experiences. Until people get over the mind set that any anal play for men is ultimately linked to being 'gay', nothing is going to change.

I would start it out something like this.
"The other night my girl did something different. While she was blowing me she started to press and rub around my anus. At first I was a bit startled and apprehensive, she said she wouldn't go any further than that as it was something she read in a magazine that expands on the male sexual sensation. "If you don't like it I can stop, it's just an exploration of our sexuality it doesn't make you gay if that's what your worried about" she said. I figured why not, if it doesn't feel good I can stop it. After a few minutes I started to relax and pay attention to the sensations. As things progressed the feelings were so good, it was like nothing I'd ever felt before! My whole body felt tingly........" You get the idea.

Once the discussion is started than you can expand on it depending on how the conversation proceeds.

"This forum requires that you wait 900 seconds between posts. Please try again in 244 seconds." What the... haha. I know that's to prevent spam, but I think only once every 15 min might be a bit extreme!

Anyhooooo

If you broach the subject in a group setting, they might scoff at the idea because of social stigmas, but if you make it enticing enough you know as soon as they get to the privacy of their own homes they're going to do a little searching around on the internet. Their curiosity will get the best of them. Maybe even mention these forums because I can't think of a more supportive and knowledgeable community. Particularly the testimonials so they might learn about just how good it can get. I remember the subject of prostate stimulation coming up in college and I thought "nah man that's gross, butts are for poopin" but if I knew that I could have hour long orgasms with just my mind I wouldn't have waited until I was in my 30's.

Friend of mine used to have this saying about fat girls and mopeds, they're both fun to ride as long as your friends don't see you.

I'm sure if you mention in a group prostate orgasm, what it's like, and how it's achieved most everyone will scoff and possibly laugh
but, at least one in that bunch, most likely the biggest scoffer of all, went home and hit Google. At least one went on to give it a
try too.

*

I am one of the few who has told almost everyone he knows about it. It has been fine, granted I am in my 30's in one of the most liberal cities in Europe, and my friends are all artists of sorts. The vast majority of men I have told have been intrigued, with several asking for more info (websites) and with three men buying a Helix (over a year of me preaching buttplay to people). I have had a couple awkward reactions from people I would not expect to react that way. Whatever. To hell with it. I am what I am. In response to @somebody "Until people get over the mind set that any anal play for men is ultimately linked to being 'gay', nothing is going to change." Sure BUT wouldn't it be better that people get over the fact that being gay is not a problem at all? If people weren't homophobic, and I don't mean just afraid of gay people, but also afraid of their own nuanced sexuality, then no one would be afraid of "being turned gay". This next bit might get eyes rolling (and not in an orgasmic way), but I think that the problem goes beyond homophobia. It is deeply rooted in our patriarchal culture where men are dominant and in control. It has to do with a fear of being penetrated, of being sexually submissive. One of the reasons why homophobia exists is because the mere act of being penetrated is seen as negative. Penetration is seen as negative for women as well, and it is used as a form of cultural dominance. For example, women who have had sex are sullied, while men score. Women are sluts while men are players. We have (unfortunately) accepted as an entire culture that women be dominated (and backlash is rightfully ensuing, as we speak). A man who is dominated (penetrated) is categorized as effeminate, and thus a lesser man, one who is on the level of women. I think penetration needs to be reconsidered altogether. Being penetrated is just as wonderful as being penetrated. It doesn't make anyone a lesser person at all. As a matter of fact, as we all have learned, being penetrated is actually the right end of the stick to be one when it comes to pleasure. There is a good parallel to this false appearance of dominance in the BDSM community. There, there are dominants and submissives, and in a healthy dom/sub relationship, the sub is in control and reaps the true benefits of the pleasure. Imagine one person whipping another. The one getting whipped is letting themself go completely and getting all sorts of sensations. They are also the detainer of the safe word, and they are the one that gets to put a stop to things if they want. Ironically the dom actually has to be very attentive and careful while the sub has the time of their life. I am not denying that a dom gets pleasure, but it is obvious who is truly getting off. Unfortunately the patriarchal and gender-binary system in which we live drives hetero men to fear submission and loss of control, and thus fear giving in to their own pleasure. To sum it up... tear down the patriarchy, say no to homophobia, stick things up your butt, and so on and so forth. What a rant.

@divine_oblivion Well done, divine_oblivion! I completely agree with your analysis of our patriarchal society and homophobia.
I’m a newbie on this subject (2,5 months of practice...) but I talked about prostate play with my 3 closest friends. The first one listened politely and did not mention the subject again afterwards (but I am patient). I haven't heard from the 2nd because he's in the middle of exams and is very busy. And the third one bought a Helix. I have not yet had an account of his experience because the purchase is very recent. But he has read a lot on the subject and is very excited. By the way, my friends and I are heterosexuals.

@divine_oblivion you are 100% correct with your response. For simplicity's sake I didn't go as deep as you did, perhaps I should have. It would be great if all people would accept each other for the person they are.

@gnawdol

So true! In public, men rarely talk about sex beyond some of the brasher ones bragging about it.

Posted by: @divine_o (blivion)

If people weren't homophobic, and I don't mean just afraid of gay people, but also afraid of their own nuanced sexuality, then no one would be afraid of "being turned gay". 

I think penetration needs to be reconsidered altogether. Being penetrating is just as wonderful as being penetrated. It doesn't make anyone a lesser person at all. As a matter of fact, as we all have learned, being penetrated is actually the right end of the stick to be one when it comes to pleasure. 

Unfortunately the patriarchal and gender-binary system in which we live drives hetero men to fear submission and loss of control, and thus fear giving in to their own pleasure. To sum it up ... tear down the patriarchy, say no to homophobia, stick things up your butt, and so on and so forth. What a rant.

I nearly fully agree, only would I say:

What a wise and way overdue perspective! 🙂

I was actually able to somewhat broach this subject with 4 friends of mine via a text group.

I showed them Mantak Chia's book and relayed to them my use for it was to increase pleasure during sex. They seemed intrigued. Ultimately I never told them that I practice prostate massage only that I can contract my PC muscles to make my orgasm stronger.

I suppose that you'd have to cultivate a strong relationship with your friends to broach the subject, I don't think I could just pull this out of the blue.  And we aren't ones to discuss sex anyway so I don't know what the right opening would be. 

@gnawdol, Thanks for sharing and I’d like to say being willing to be a good model for many of us closeted men.  I’ve been on my own bi discovery journey and it’s not easy, nor are there many to share to talk to about.  I just wish I’d discovered aneros and p-orgasms earlier, but enjoying it now.  Hoping to find more friends to explore with.  

Posted by: @gnawdol

I am a 68 year old bi male who has been enjoying prostate orgasms for a decade and a half. Before that I was on a private sexual discovery journey that began in my 30's where my "bi-ness" was suppressed and secret. This was the case because I am a "button down" civic leader kind of guy who is liked and respected in my professional and personal life. People look up to me. Although I talk about sex to my wife, I have male friends that I have known my entire life that I discuss all kinds of personal issues with, yet we never - ever talk about sex. It is just one of those forbidden topics. Male culture in my context and era and age group just doesn't discuss sex among friends.

Then along came the internet and forums like this with their anonymity. That anonymity opened the doors for me to both establish relationships (friendships) with people who are very different than me and even further, to talk about sex and orgasm with them in excruciating detail. Despite our cultural or social differences we share a common interest in exploring the full dimensions of sexual experience. I marvel that I have on line intimate relationships with young gay men, middle aged gay and straight men and women, straight younger women, and guys my age and older. These forums offer a degree of "insulation" from embarrassment or expectations that is a true gift.

This arrangement has allowed me a level of comfort that I have been able to translate on line relationships to real life relationships and in a few instances physical sharing of intimacy. I savor sharing experiences and erotic secrets with friends.

I am happy to keep my two worlds separate and relish those few opportunities when on line becomes real.