Here we go again!-gctid164786

Hi Everybody.

I will apologize in advance for the text wall that I am going to put forward here. The truth is I have a lot of thoughts going on in my head and I am hoping to get some clarity via advice and also I suspect I might find some clarity by having to organize my thoughts enough to articulate them here. So I hope you enjoy reading about my experiences and look forward to any feed back you can think of.

I am a 29 year old from Australia and overall I am fairly new to aneros and anal play. I never really enjoyed any other anal play except for my previous aneros toys however I did take a liking to them. I bought my first aneros (MGX) about 6-7 years ago and looking back on it really had no idea how to use it. I tried pushing it with my hands like you would a dildo and did manage to induce some Super T's with that technique which at the time was fairly great. I believe I was using it 3-4 times a week for a couple of months and actually made some decent progress with my rewiring. At this time I was so horny and couldn't keep my hands off my cock and was still struggling to get aroused without some penile play. So in hindsight I basically just used it to enhance my normal play. I did see some success of a different kind (spiritual) which I will leave out of this discussion, except its important to note that after said "success" I held the aneros in an extremely high regard (and still do). Ultimately frustrated I packed my aneros away for good, or so I thought.

Fast forward a couple of years and add a little bit of maturity and I was back at it. I am not sure exactly what was the catalyst to start regular sessions again except to say that I never forgot about my toy and was always very interested in finding the super-o. I cannot remember if at this time I was using the MGX still or if I had already purchased my Helix Syn. I had spent a lot of time reading the forums and had a much healthier approach to my sessions. I was single at the time and basically used it as my only source of sexual excitement coupled with porn. I had tried to eliminate unnecessary ejaculations and to save my energy to focus on finding a super-o. I do remember really enjoying my sessions during this period and even managed hands free orgasms. I also learnt to have Aless hands free orgasms and found I was getting a lot of buzzing and pwaves throughout my day. Its safe to say I desired to have my aneros inside me most of the time. I think this time around I made good progress except I found that any pleasure in my sessions built to me having an orgasm/ejaculation and ended my session. A great problem to have if I'm honest, however not what I was really looking for.

So fast forward till 1 week ago. I was particularly horny and for some reason I decided to buy myself a new aneros toy (The Vice). I knew that I would have 1 week off work due to finding a new company to work for and smudging the start and end dates of employment a little to score myself a weeks downtime. I ordered the toy online so I had 3 days to wait for its arrival and that gave me time to prepare mentally. I spent some time on the forums and read some of the experts advice and realised more of my flaws. I believe last time I had tried this mentally I wasn't prepared and that was a large barrier for me. This time however I'm in a much better place and think I have a fair shot at a super O. Some of the observations I made were that I never took the time to relax before a session, to really unwind and clear my mind. I reassured myself many times that anything that happens during my first upcoming session was a good thing and to be calm and happy about it. I tried to clear my mind of expectations in an attempt to limit frustrations which has always distracted me from my goals.

This time however I really remembered what the rewiring would do and how it would make my prostate sensitive and make me much more aware of sexual desire in that area. Because of this I guess I couldn't completely release myself of expectations and admit I felt a sense of confidence in that I knew how to rewire and knew I could do it pretty easily. I did also note that after such a long time without any prostate stimulation I had almost no desire or feeling of my previous rewirings. I knew where I should be feeling it and could emulate it slightly causing very small p-waves with aless techniques I learnt practising Aless Orgasms last time. So whilst waiting for my aneros to arrive I decided I wouldn't ejaculate and save my desire for the toy, but more importantly I decided every time I got horny I would think about putting the aneros in and practiced a few kegels. I found really quickly that I was able to split my desire between my penis and prostate and it was only when I lost focus would I feel horny through my penis. So I kept at it and was finding I couldn't really activate my prostate yet without the stimulation so my Horny was a little bit "Lost". It was almost as if I wasn't horny, but inside me was telling me I was and I didn't know how to use that energy because every time I thought about my dick and jerking off I stopped myself from strengthening that neural pathway.
So before I go into my first session with my new Vice I will admit I had almost instant buyers remorse because it was a Vibe also. So when looking through the list of devices to buy I was intrigued by the shape of the vice (the size too, I have always owned small devices). I also thought that I might be able to use the vibe to help speed up rewiring by using it to trigger super T's like I have had in the past, and thus reinforce positive neural connections with my prostate. Right after I bought It I thought it was a silly choice as I didn't want to go down the same road I went last time but instead discover a new path. I wanted to get away from Super T's and learn more about non ejaculatory orgasms. Because the vice has a vibe option I assumed that it was probably not the most well designed device to work without the vibe, which was ultimately my goal so I went ahead and purchased a progasm jnr which is still in transit.

So yesterday was my first session with the vice. Upfront I will say none of this involved using the Vibrator. I decided to focus on a bit of a warmup routine which consisted of an enema, a hot shower, preparing my "Play Station", finding suitable porn for such a task and trying to focus on relaxing. I hadn't planned on it but I ended up having a small amount of marijuana before my session (I smoke irregularly and every time I do I have a profound effect of feeling energy in my body and feeling chakras vibrating and opening.) I felt like this kind of hyper internal awareness might be suitable for my session. With the formalities out of the way I started my porn video and laid down with the Vice.

Before inserting it I could see it was way bigger than my previous devices and wondered if I had bit off more than I could chew. It took some relaxing but I was able to insert it really pleasurably and quickly too. I was hit with a big full feeling I never had before. Straight away I thought this was an improvement on my other devices and I really like it. I started getting p-waves within the first 5 minutes and my arousal rose quickly. I was laying on my side (my favourite position due to a spinal injury) and I could feel a nice pressure on my prostate. Not too hard but enough that I wondered if I was going to make myself sore and have to terminate the session. Anal contractions now were pretty intense and really rubbed my prostate pretty hard, a much more intense feeling than I remembered. after 15 minutes of enjoyment things started to ramp up. It started with some light buzzing and some warm sensations around my abdomen. I felt really nice and at this point I had a feeling that something big was coming. None of my sessions had ever been so pleasurable and I knew this was going to be a good one. Despite being so big the vice seemed to move well and I could tell my pelvic floor was still strong after many years. I was able to move it around with ease and didn't find much fatigue.

I started to really focus on my contractions and try to find a good rhythm. Indeed I did and I found it at a fairly slow pace, I also really understand now that big movements aren't necessary, in fact I was getting different sensations from rubbing my prostate in different locations. It became almost second nature to direct it to where I wanted to feel it and really enjoyed exploring the different sensations from different strokes. I have never really had this feeling of control before as I have mostly just contracted hard and waited for fatigue quivering in the past. This kind of stoking made me so warm and I felt great but after a while I couldn't stop myself from hard contractions which were also amazing, they kept coming and I really couldn't stop them nor did I want to. They were getting longer in length and more regular. After just a couple of minutes of these involuntary contractions I found that I was Just only holding this heavy contraction and had the Vice sitting hard on my prostate. I would slowly relax and find myself able to stroke my prostate again but as soon as I did I would have another hard contraction. after 5-10 minutes of this I found something strange happened to me, I started to feel like the same contraction pulling the Vice into me started to feel as if I was trying to push it out. I actually felt it transition from one feeling to another. This was intense because I wasn't controlling it at this point. The device felt like it was endlessly slipping (like a constant slow movement inward, felt at the anus) deeper inside me despite the feeling of trying to push it out.This made me extremely horny because I had the feeling that I couldn't stop the pleasurable sensations even if I wanted to. I was Helpless so to speak.

This feeling of acceptance took my session to a whole new level. The Vice began to feel like a high frequency of energy warming me and I started to really focus on this these sensations. I had a realisation that this feeling is what will cause me to orgasm and I was able to momentarily forge a feedback loop. I started to realise that this feeling is the beginning of a bigger orgasm and something I'm totally unused to. I tried to reinforce this to myself from time to time to help forge new neural pathways and speed up rewiring. My anus and prostate felt amazing and at some points it almost felt like I couldn't feel them separately but they were all connected as the whole region was buzzing and felt warmly amazing. This kept happening for maybe 10 minutes before I started to realised that it was subsiding because I wasn't fueling my sexual arousal, so I began to intermittently focus on my porn which up to this point was mostly ignored.

This kept the session going for another 20-30 minutes and many times I felt the sensations of an incoming orgasm which is when I found finally my penis had become Hard. In all of my sessions prior I would get erect almost all the way through my session and I chalked this up to my previous days training myself to focus on my prostate and ignore my penis. It was truly fantastic and I found that when my arousal was getting really high my hips and legs would start shaking uncontrollably, it felt so good I just let them go. Because of this my position had changed a little bit and I felt my penis start to touch the towel beneath me. This feeling felt really great and although I didn't want to draw any attention to my penis I was so aroused I couldn't really help it. I let my legs keep shaking and occasionally the tip of my penis would just brush the towel. This made it really easy to raise my arousal because it was much more familiar to me. I also felt that I was precumming a bit which is fairly unusual for me. I was pretty quickly able to approach orgasm again and this time I really tried to bring it on as much as possible hoping that I wouldn't ejaculate like I did in the past.

Alas I did ejaculate and it was huge, truly epic. My prostate contractions were slow and full and there were many more than usual. Instead of ejaculating in separate squirts this felt much more like one long constant ejaculation. The feeling was intense and I'm really grateful for it. Even after I had come the sensations were amazing for another 5 minutes. I hadn't yet checked to see if any ejaculate had come out (I read that other people thought they had cum but actually hadn't) and even considered that maybe I was tricked because I thought it might happen again. The refractory period hadn't set in like I'm used to and I still felt highly aroused. Although the sensations in me had definitely changed to a more empty dull feeling, Not at all less pleasant but something different altogether, less energised. Once I had looked and saw I had come I didn't even feel bad about it because I had enjoyed it so much. I was already happy with such a huge step in progress for me and at the end of the day felt completely satisfied. After I took the Vice out I felt so good, like a sense of relief that the device was out but also just still aware of the pleasant sensations still happening down there. I found it easy to clean and packed away my setup feeling fantastic.

I felt a slight tenderness that night when I was in bed and thought that was pretty reasonable for the length of my session (Little over one hour) and the size of my new toy combined with my recent lack of activity down there. I felt confident that I could use this regularly without discomfort. I had a great sleep but woke up with a sore pectoral muscle and realised that I hadn't really been relaxing during my session but instead got lost in the new feelings and let my body tense up like I would during a normal penile orgasm but this time for much longer. I also didn't exactly perfect any kind of breathing technique as I was slightly overwhelmed. So with my first session out of the way I am trying to get a shortlist of the good and the bad to help target any room for improvement. This is where I would really appreciate your feedback and expertise and welcome any questions or suggestions.

The things I feel I did well in this session were:
Pre-session preparations, Positive attitude, Clean slate mentality, Good device selection, Positive reinforcement of prostate neural pathways.

Room for improvement:
Continuation of the rewiring process, Relaxing during my session, Breathing techniques or atleast standard breathing, Allowing the orgasm to come to me and not trying to force it (in the hopes to avoid ejaculation)

Things to Eliminate:
All penis stimulation, Expectation

So one question I REALLY want to ask is why do I always ejaculate when I become really aroused. Is it because my penis touched the towel beneath me? Once I was aware of my penis things became easier to be aroused and I then chased what felt like a normal orgasm just super strong. Am I chasing the wrong sensations, am I heading in the wrong direction? With more prostate play will I eventually learn not to ejaculate? I don't really know what to do about this.
[LEFT][COLOR=#555555][FONT=Noto Sans][SIZE=15px]I have a suspision that due to my body tensing up im really just making myself have a traditional penile orgasm. Thats to say that i let the aneros get me started and then i force myself to ejaculate because i think thats the whats im supposed to do. It feels so good so how could it be wrong? Except it always leads to ejaculation and i think that maybe the whole event is caused by me trying to replicate a normal orgasm. Will relaxing and trying to find another pathway help?[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/LEFT]

I am going to try today without any marijuana and see if I am able to generate such an intense session, however I do feel like it really helped. Im not sure any conclusions can be drawn from such a small test especially because I came yesterday and im not sure if my libido is on par with itself prior to my last session. So I would like to know if anyone else here can vouch for cannabis having a positive effect on there sessions.

I hope this was enjoyable as I find I enjoy reading other peoples sessions exciting. If you would like to make any suggestions or try to help me please do.

Thanks
Trip