Help Deciding

Be open and honest with her first and foremost. My wife was very openminded about the aneros. I directed her to the website if she had any questions. These stimulators have really added a new dimension to our sex life.

(this post was edited 2005-11-29 09:59:37)

Reyrbalr,

The way that your girlfriend reacts will likely depend on several factors; her preconceived notions about anal play,(does she conceive of it as a heterosexual or strictly homosexual activity) her own experience with it, giving or receiving ...(positive, negative, neutral or none), her openness to new things (of a sexual nature) and lastly her feelings of affection for you and her desire to please you.

Yes, it can get fairly complicated. Chalk that one up to the sexually repressed culture that we live in! That said, I am certainly NOT trying to discourage you from broaching this subject with your gf, to the contrary, I APPLAUDE IT, after all, how are WE ever going to change attitudes about anything unless we discuss them?!! What I AM saying is that you've got to know what you're getting into. My suggestion is to first try and take stock of your gf using the criteria that I outlined above. For example, if you have already integrated anal play into your lovemaking (in some way), if she has been open to it thus far, IF SHE HAS ENJOYED IT HERSELF (either with you or in the past), if she has expressed an interest in other non-traditional forms of sexual gratification, if she has demonstrated a strong desire to please you in all things (particularly in the sexual realm), then the chances are you've got a slam dunk on your hands. ( Should we all be so lucky!)

Even if only one of these factors are present, you may have the kind of opening that makes the direct approach worthwhile. If she has been lukewarm to such things in the past, however, getting into a direct discussion may not be productive. In such cases, a more oblique strategy may be in order. What's been used successfully in the past by other users, is to focus on the health benefits of prostate massage first, and once accepted, to slowly introduce the sexual angle later.

Fortunately for us all the manufacturers of the Aneros (HIH) has a resource that may help bridge the gap. The truth is that the Aneros was originally designed as a device to promote prostate health. Developed by a urologist, the product was initially marketed as the PRO-STATE massager....and still is. For purposes of discussion of the health benefits of prostate massage one may go to www.highislandhealth.com. Understand that the focus on this site IS on prostate health. Although there may be some reference from time to time that alludes to sexual gratification, it is NOT the primary focus of this site. (But for purposes of initiating someone into the realm of prostate massage, particularly those that are squeemish about this kind of activity, ...this may be the way to go.

Again, I must emphasize that the HIH site is NOT designed for frank and gritty discussions of a sexual nature as is the Aneros site (if you want that...stay here where it is supported) What this approach does offer you is to allow for a gradual introduction into these matters, with the option of discovering the Aneros site at a later time.

As an alternative,.. you may want to lay the ground work for any discussions, by warming-up your girlfriend to the concept of anal stimulation, but focusing on her first. Start by gravitating towards on-all-fours doggy style intercourse. Bring her near climax, using clitoral stimulation simultaneously with your thrusting, then as her orgasm starts, gently massage her anus with your thumb. Chances are, this will heighten the intensity of her orgasm. In almost every encounter that I've ever had, this technique has proved an entry way (if you will), into the world of anal play. Gradually, over a period or weeks, you may even work up to some digital penetration. If you enjoy giving oral pleasure to her (and you're not averse to this) try shifting from her vaginal or clitoris to her anus (while maintaining digital contact with her clitoris or vagina....mixing the old with the new!). (You might want to do this when she's fresh out of the shower). The point is, if you can get a lover enjoying this kind of stimulation, they will invariably be more open to your desire for it as well. I call this the what's good for the goose is good for the gander approach.

BF Mayfield