Help - Any Tips Welcome

@monkeyrj

I feel like I need more info before suggesting something. 

Can you describe a typical session ?  What happens in your head when you get involuntaries, what's your tough process at that moment, what are you telling yourself ? 

Do you think you're missing arousal/excitement or relaxation/letting go ? Or both ? Or do you think both are fine ?

What is your session frequency ?

I know that's a lot of questions, but this will really help in giving you a "custom" answer. I think you're actually closer than you think, your method might just need some fine tuning.

After 12 years I have a lot of different methods. At the moment I'm looking forward to the sessions and use a VR headset to watch porn laid on my back. Currently, I get into involuntary hip thursts and muscle quakes pretty quick but not normally with involuntary contractions. There could be but the hip thrusts mask things out a bit. Start getting more aroused and deliberately hold contractions. Things get more pleasurable and I think involuntary contractions kick in. It all builds up and I try to relax and lets things happen. I feel aroused and am using alot of nipple play with a fair bit of thrashing going on. I start thinking here we go and try to do nothing and relax, then things just subside. I repeat this cycle with varying success until I don't really get pleasurable reponses and that ends the session. I have been doing daily session for about a week with no cumming.

I do feel that each cycle ends once its got to a peak and I have thought "here we go at last". Maybe I'm still thinking traditional orgasm but I do relax into things when they get intertesting and not doing anything different, or trying to force things.

Thanks

@monkeyrj

Thanks, that gives us a lot to work with !

I've had the exact same thing happen, thinking "oh yeah, that's it !" And everything stalls. So I can share what happens in my case, let's just hope we're wired in a similar way and that it works for you.

It looks like your arousal level is high enough, VR porn, nipple play, hips moving etc. Coupled with semen retention, I guess you're excited enough to make this work, so we need to check elsewhere...

What could be holding you back is thinking you're very close and "trying to relax" at what you perceive is the peak.

Let's say I'm having a session, things start going well, sensation are building, why would I change anything ? It's working. Why would I decide that I'm not relaxed enough ? Because I think my work is done, ok that's it, NOW that my efforts got me here, I can relax and let go of control. That's a trap, I already have involuntaries, I'm already not in control. At this point trying to relax is the same thing as trying to get control back. That's bad juju. 

I can't tell you exactly what to do at this point, but if it's what holding you back, just knowing what's happening will go a long way, you'll keep the correct amount of tension in your body and the feelings won't fade.

Hope this helps !

I'm wondering if pulling back to about 30% of your contraction at that point and start taking slow deep breaths, and bear down with your diaphragm while slowly exhaling.

I get some results from that if I can discipline myself to keep doing it even though I'm distracted and relaxed by the pleasure.