Funny, OR.......

I think it's oxytocin that does it a substance that make you feel an emotinal connection. Perhaps it's like what alcohol is to women;clowds their judgement and perhaps make her want to sleep with someone she didn't really want to sleep with. Oxytocin clowds mens'(lifetime) judgement making them choose a path they might never otherwise have chosen
If you really want equality between men and women, cut past the hypocracy and the delusion, have peace on earth

------no sex, coz sex is evil...heil Aneros!

It's like what they say about nicotine how it's more addictive than heroine. Oxytocin is so powerful that even psychopaths can develop a fairly normal emotional connection with their s.o. ,( why it's 'significant' in the first place)and how it was possible that the 'other' didn't even notice when the s.o.b. was out there somewhere committing the most horrific acts, but was such a ' loving husband'.....And yes, arranged marriages also tend to work

very cute Helixer!! 😀 😀

We all have our own different spots along the almost infinitely complex permutations and combinations of factors along the male sexual orientation/responses spectrum...

Rainbow cupcakes anybody? 😀

all the best energetics dining all

artform

very cute Helixer!! 😀 😀

Where do you draw the line when sex is overrated and don't like the road this 'significant'type of emotional attachments leads you?

Where do you draw the line when sex is overrated?

Where you find your personal compassionate balance point in/between personal and/or interpersonal love and energetics, including healing energies, and all possibilities can shift and transform/transmute/transcend through time... ...in the magic of being a part of the material universe gaining self-awareness of all... ...???...

Yes, yes, yes, so where exactly does the 'significant'other come into this?
Imagine no possession I wonder if you can 😉

In my case, my significant other and I are mutually bonded in our love expressed in significant part in our Mutual Prostates Practice, and that mutuality balances any "possession" imbalances if they appear my friend. It may not work for every male, butt that does not mean

It cannot work for some of us, or many, particularly given the ever present transformative potential energy...

Without the sex would you still(for example) want to live together ?

Of course not all men and women are the same but generally speaking I'd say women would have similar dreams when they were children. Marry their prince, settle and make babies. I wonder how many men can say the same were it not for the cupcake of oxytocin?

But how does it work in a post-Aneros world?
Society basically says what Alan says, but Alan just gets used by women. He hasn't seperated the two and becomes emotionally dependent, yet he does what women say they want. Charlie on the other hand just uses women for sex. Women love him yet he does what women say they despise.

Alan gives women everything they want yet is despised, Charlie does what women say they despise and is loved

I guess with the advent of the Aneros you have more options. You don't have to delude yourself about women like Alan and you don't have to use and hurt women like Charlie

Hello, Helixer.

Thanks for the link. GREAT clip! I've never watched the show so had no idea it could be that funny or relevant.

As one who has made plenty of my own cupcakes and made many deals with women for cupcakes, I have to say that the best arrangement is when your cupcake provider is also one of your best friends and the mother of your kids. It's especially fun when she likes to eat the cupcakes you make.

Cheers,

Dave

Indeed tsn!! 😀 😀

[COLOR="red"]Ditto!!

You've become emotionally involved hence the delusion. I might have fallen into the same trap, were it not that women have never seen a reason to stick around long enough to lead me along that road.
But yes watching that clip I realized I'm one of those people that becomes emotionally attached and basically willing to do anything for the 'other', even make babies. But then after my oxytocin level is depleted the fog clears and I'm to think rational again and I realize how lucky I was.

Why do you think it's your choise when you end up playing girls games?
Women used to play with dolls as girls acting out family situations, men played other games.
Seems like oxytocin induced grovelling to me

Without the sex would you still(for example) want to live together ?

Of course not all men and women are the same but generally speaking I'd say women would have similar dreams when they were children. Marry their prince, settle and make babies. I wonder how many men can say the same were it not for the cupcake of oxytocin?

During periods of child-rearing, family health passages, high external stresses, exhaustion and menopause, we have gone for lengthy stretches without sex. That too is not uncommon with couples who are, as tsn points out, are also best friends, and have mutually chosen to reproduce and raise our children together.

We also entered positive deep friendships with each other's parents and siblings. Extended family formation was one of my goals and we were and are compatible and complementary in that dimension too. It is all mutual and way beyond cupcakes: it is life's full rich banquet, IMHO.

In our "post-Aneros world", we have a wonderful Mutual Prostates (G-spots) practice at the centre of our sex lives. And our beloved Wedding Band position of fingering each other into parallel chains of Super-Os and Super-Ts. Mrs. a wanted to explore her ejaculatory orgasmic potential, and now springs forth "The Flowing Waters of the Goddess" at times as we finale after two, three or more hours in the Wedding Band, as I Super-T and fountain skywards all over us. Now what could be more equal, mutual and astoundingly glorious than sharing all that on a more or less regular basis??

Not a delusion, butt an illumination of universal love powering our personal and mutual orgasmic ecstasies. Mrs. a would say that I am the Navigator for us in this adventure. I pioneered my personal prostate massage over 50 years ago, 10 years before we were married. She is the one who agreed to my plan to bring it into our marriage and help her find more adventures with her G-spot. I have always been the leader in expanding our sexual practices and library. That is just the natural balance for our personalities, knowledge and love for each other.

As well as playing boys games, I also played pre-school and early youth "house" games with my female cousin and played with dolls acting out family situations from time to time. Very good training for a well rounded young man, IMHO.

Helixer, we are all different unique individuals, and generalizing is hazardous.

How did you like the girlie games as a kid?

How did you like the girlie games as a kid?

Helixer, there seem to be more and different things for me than are seemingly dreamable in your philosophy. We were 5 and 6 years old and were playing out family dramas; family games, not limited "girlie games", male roles and female roles in family games with cardboard cutouts and toys. We enjoyed those times, were friends through our adult lives and she and my wife were great friends too. There is so much more to women than just cupcakes sir.

When I become friends with someone it is often for life. I, we, my wife and I, are good friends with two of my former teenage girlfriends, and occasional friends with two more. I am just off the phone with my friend, who was the best man for me at our wedding, who came out gay to himself and the world shortly after, and we have remained good friends with an "unending ongoing conversation". So much more to people, so much more to life, as I see it...

Neither you nor I need to critique the other's perspective or life. WE each have our own unique histories and unique journeys here.

There is so much more to women than just cupcakes sir

You misunderstood me. I'm not saying women are only for sex. I'm saying the complete opposite no sex is the best relationship between men and women, sex adulterates the relationship. We're human not animals. If we just wanted to have sex we could have as well have been rats. An orgasm is so much more. Humans are so much more. If we lower ourselves to the animal world then 'we've limited ourselves to the pettiness that is the seed for greed, inequality, wars etc..

And again sex is overrated and oxytocin is fatal!(unless of course you always liked the girlie games)
Do you think men and women would live together or couple up without having sex?

Helixer: You misunderstood me. I'm not saying women are only for sex. I'm saying the complete opposite no sex is the best relationship between men and women, sex adulterates the relationship.

Well then my friend we are much closer that we think. I am not at either end of your binary scale, butt I am closer to your end. Sexual intercourse is not the dominant determinant for 90% to 100% of a lifetime female/male relationship. I still love my former girlfriends and they me, yet it is all platonic. We hug and joke and can share what over at KSMO we call "heartgasms"; outpourings of ecstatic energies from the front heart chakra into the heart of the person with whom you are conversing.

Yet mrs. a and I, as a married couple, have an almost infinite range of physical to non-contact connections in sharing our mutual caring and love energetics that we continue to explore solo and together as we choose. Way way beyond the few variations of repetitive "seeding" sex to which far too many people self-limit.

Just as on this site we can share energies physically across great distances (quantum entanglement, IMHO), as in the Taoist healing-at-a-distance tradition, between the male members, of any and all orientations here, without it being any more eros than anyone wants it to be, men and women can also share joyous and/or healing energies without it being about physical sex at all. That is a great joy at KSMO and here via The Tao of Aneros.

Aneros can obviate the need for sexual intercourse, while cultivating a wonderful diversified energies practice for a hetero (or homo) couple with a full spectrum of contact and non-contact energies exchanging options. This life is SO good!!

I just find that for both men and women following their primitive urges leads to despicable behaviour, cute in animals, destructive in humans.
Women's need to make babies causes them to act like whores, looking for status and possessions in men.And men like heroine junkies do everything to satisfy her and consequently the oxytocin fix.(and yes you only have to look at a porno to know the despicable things men value in women).
As an animal is never satisfied, the adulterated human has war, suffering, inequality, and greed as his bastard offspring

And yes sex is overrated. Do away with sex and we might finally become human and rid ourselves of the evil that has accompanied us since the beginning. 'That you don't belong to me and I don't belong to you yeah yeah freedom'. Materialism starts on the (adulterated) spiritual level.

Artform: I think most marriages grow on people. So in that regard it's not all that unique. What would be unique is if men and women chose to marry and live together and make(testtube) babies if there was no sex involved.
So yes, I think for that to happen the men would have to have liked girliegames when they were kids. Coz I believe men and women are different that way.
I'm not saying men and women have nothing they can value in each other, but if it's anything worth its weight in gold it would be where satisfying primitive urges is not the objective/intention, coz that causes both parties to be hypocritical to satisfy those different needs.

I'm not saying do away with the sexual, after all that's only the first chakra, just don't use women for it(coz pornography tells the truth about men and lies about women. So fantasy is obviously better), coz beyond the first chakra there's much much more and an animal is only limited to that chakra, man has a world of ecstasy to experience beyond that.

Unless we want to self-annihilate as a species, we must reproduce and we are certainly biologically pre-programmed to do that. Butt we do have choices. Both my wife and I are professionals/artists, in overlapping disciplines, with a good mix of common and different interests and activities. We understand a support each other in many facets of our rich engagement with life, family, community, ecologies and the wholeness of being, above and beyond instinctual hormonally desperate gene-passing sex.

Our genes are 98% chimp/bonobo genes. To make the point: Chimps can be violent, suffering, cannibalistic and otherwise highly hierarchical, competitively vicious. Bonobos can use trade in sexual favours, m/m, m/f, f/m, as a social lubricant and are more peaceful and harmonious by comparison. Even genetically IMHO, we have choices: to feel and fall into chimphood and chump change, or to choose our bonobo ancestry and find the sexual chemistry of caring compassionate equality and love as the dominant ethic and aesthetic.

Aesthetics are far more powerful and determinant in human behaviour than 99% of people understand or can grasp. See the documentary: Architecture of Doom and other sources on this analysis. Hitler's attempt to bring his country and people out from under the degradation imposed on them in 1919, was more about aesthetics than economics or oil. His fears and chimphood evil overcame whatever merit there may or may not have ever been in his heart.

Truth and Beauty. We need to look in the mirror of our aesthetics as a test of our moral and ethical being. Privileging the aesthetics opens one to more confident open assessment of many things. Making aesthetics one's driver ahead of hormones can be transformative and liberating.

I value greatly the things like playing house with my cousin at that pre-puberty age before sex becomes what it can become in the negative dimension you articulate. I don't know what balance of sex hormones my foetal brain happened by chance to be washed with at the sexual orientation guiding stage of development. Butt I am grateful beyond words that my pre-pubescent>>>pubescent>>>"adult" brains (skull, gut, heart...) allowed me or directed me to some curious quiet call effecting my penis bulb and other tissues as my prostate said it wanted to awaken at age 12-13.

I am grateful that my parents left me gently and generally introduced to reproduction, and completely free as far as my particular sexual behaviours. Oh and a full encyclopaedia where I could find the scientific understandings of that era on sex and sexual behaviours in all species! I am into some of the most determinant factors here and we all have our own often very different backgrounds.

My point is that we can transcend ("trance-end" as the ever insightful Jack Johnston says over at KSMO), and that developing at any age in The Tao of Aneros is the key to a great deep true male liberation indeed. How we each sense what that may be about in the fullness of life and meaning will be unique, butt nevertheless open, OPEN, to transformative possibilities in rewriting our sexual relationships scripts, and our deepest sense of our own meaning in our life and our life/lives with others.

This is why I am artform. We can remake and remodel our primarily socialization-determined approach/response to sexuality. We can open ourselves to the full range of our complex multidimensional genetic inheritances and all those possibilities. Aneros and KSMO, for me, has been the most astounding affirmation of my unconventional, intuitive, youthful explorations and the truth and beauty them seemed to reveal to me then.

And most importantly confirmed by the transformative power of this great community fellow citizen, where you and I and the thousands of other members can share this unbelievable conversation among socialization-warped male human/chimp/bonobos. Hugs Helixer!!, and all the very best as your journey continues to develop and unfold for you, just as mine continues for me, and we can share so openly, respectfully, and warmly brother.

Namaste. I respect fully your evolving narrative from your unique life experience journey to date, and as in our previous conversations, there is much I feel we share. Others have said they feel my other elements of life experience are grim and tragic in some dimensions, and there have been extraordinary stresses. My unconventional sexual development path has been part of my salvation through tragedies and triumphs.

Thank God, the Great Spirit, the fact that we are part of the universe attaining all forms of self-consciousness, for the early awakened prostate, and for Aneros/KSMO, and for this astounding community of the awakened and the awakening. I am more grateful than I can ever express to all and for all.

"Imagine", indeed! "Love is all there is"!

Unless we want to self-annihilate as a species, we must reproduce and we are certainly biologically pre-programmed to do that

There is of course another alternative. Like in Nova Science NOw's episode of 'Can we live forever', medical science technology is rapidly advancing, so fast that e.g. within a decade we can grow organparts custommade for our body/dna.Immortality may be just around the corner!
Like the closing remarks of host Neil de Gras Tyson suggest there are implications to immortality. After all if we continue to reproduce within a few generations it would get very crowded to say the least!
So he says, to be careful what you wish for.As far as I'm concerned if we stopped reproducing there's no problem either.I mean it's not called the 'holy'grail for nothing.(no fuckie fuckie if you wanna be a pure human being) Immortality would take away the last excuse to let go of the animalistic and achieve perhaps humanity's true goal:uncontaminated spirituality!
And those that haven't developed as human beings yet and still want to make babies let them trade their life for their childs' coz it would be no loss to humanity. If they wanna be an animal, let them die like an animal

Helixer,

OK, I get where you're coming from.

If your lifestyle and philosophy of sex and relationships are working for you, fine. Congrats! Be happy.

You may find even some people who agree with you. Good luck with that.

Best Regards,

Dave

You may find even some people who agree with you. Good luck with that

.

I doubt it, but thanks. I'm ever the optimist, a bit like NASA's SETI program, searching the sky for the faintest hint of intelligent lifeforms somewhere out there, I'm transmitting my thoughts in the hope there are others like me. So far all it's done has made me feel more detached. That's the worst of it, like there's nobody out there
But like NASA scans the planets with water for indication of life, Aneros enables pleasure beyond the sexual, thus this forum is a good place to at least try.