Frustrated now.

Posted by: @valdies24

Frustration is starting to hit me now, I try not to be, always try to stay relaxed, calm and emotionally open with my experiences. I go into every session not expecting for anything to come from it and to just enjoy the experience 

The frustration you are experiencing is a very common phenomenon with new Aneros users, I advise doing some more reading and give yourself more time. The Aneros experience is not a race or competition but a learning journey without an end point. Frustration is the result of expectations (both conscious and subconscious) not being met. Even when you have no conscious expectations you probably have some subconscious expectations or why would you being trying to achieve orgasms by sticking a piece of plastic up your butt? There is a natural expectation to see results from your efforts, this is one of the Aneros journey paradoxes. Your frustration may also stem from some obstacle(s) you haven't yet been able to resolve. I would recommend you read the thread Identifying Obstacles to Progress for some insights into a few of these obstacles, perhaps you're having to resolve some aspect you aren't particularly aware of.

Posted by: @valdies24

... I've been able to get involuntary twitching and movement from within whilst doing contractions. But that's as far as it gets, not really anything pleasurable to it apart from the odd one or two pleasurable feelings.

Are you "aroused"? If you are not particularly aroused prior to starting your Anerosession it is not likely that session will progress well. Remember that your Aneros device acts more as an arousal amplifier than it does as an arousal generator. If you are not excited about starting a session it will probably just be a 'dud'.

Building arousal is important. How often to you masturbate to ejaculation? Every time you do so you reset your body's hormones back to a sub homeostatic level. This can create a roller coaster ride of rising/falling energy ultimately depressing your general arousal level. Have you read Aneros, Arousal & Abstinence/Semen Retention and @divine_o 's thread Arousal building methods? These are approaches that have proved successful for many other Aneros users, perhaps they may help you as well.

Attitude is particularly important as well. If you are passing judgment on every little sensation and assigning a "... not really anything pleasurable..." status to it, you are discounting what your body is producing, this is a big mistake, all those little twitches are the sparks which will later ignite the fire of orgasms. Be thankful for those little sensations and consciously label them (at a minimum) as pleasure signals, even when they aren't particularly pleasurable at the time, they are the building blocks of every orgasm. The path to these prostate based orgasms is largely in your mind and your ability to focus on the physical sensations, however slight they may be and see them as sources of pleasure. This is a paradigm shift in thinking, can you make that shift?

Posted by: @valdies24

I'm not sure where to go from here and that's the frustrating part, I've tried all the techniques I could read up on and even tried exploring with my own techniques but alas I've not gotten anywhere. 

Would you be willing to take 21 day challenge?

Good Vibes to You!

What are you doing during sessions? Sexually Fantasising? Watching porn? Etc

@rumel yeah I get I'm still new to this and I'd totally agree, I obviously have a reason for doing it.... the super O. I'd have to be kidding myself if I thought I was just doing it for the sake of it. 

1. As for arousal, I have a high sex drive so arousal isn't an issue for me, before I started using the aneros I could and would typically masterbate up to 5 times a day (all within 10 hours) then I heard about the prostate and what it has to offer as what I was doing was just getting boring to be perfectly honest.
2. With what you said about me disregarding some of the feelings I'm getting I will endeavour to savour every one from now on.
3. I'm open to the 21 day challenge, I'm assuming not using my aneros in that time aswell is part of it, I have been going 3-4 days without masterbating for now. But like I said, high sex drive makes its sort of difficult to hold back.

@helghast arousal isn't a problem as i have a high sex drive and am typically horny alot of the time.

I've tried it all though, watching porn, using imagination and just clearing my mind completely of all thoughts and just experiencing what I'm feeling.

Posted by: @valdies24

I'm open to the 21 day challenge, I'm assuming not using my aneros in that time as well is part of it, I have been going 3-4 days without masterbating for now.

While some would suggest total abstinence from all sexual/erotic activity, I think for our purposes here that is not the case. I think simply avoiding ejaculation from penile stimulation and thinking about that form of masturbation for a period of time allows you to reprogram/rewire your mind/brain into a more conducive state which enhances your ability to focus on and amplify the prostate generated sensations induced by your Aneros device. I think using your Aneros during this time actually helps that process along. I think it is important to remember this is not a process you can force to happen by following a regime, rather it needs to evolve intuitively, listen to your body's whisperings.

Good Vibes to You!

@rumel and @helghast  it always seems to be you two that comment on my post to help me along on my journey.

So this is just a shout out to you both for being there for me and others when we do get frustrated like this. 

If anything does develop later on and I succeed you both will be 1st to know.

Many thanks once again 

@valdies24 

Arousal is all we really need,if that’s not a problem,then that leaves expectation and frustration. Forget about super o for a while. Have sessions,and just look out for any progress at all. Have a goal of getting to any intensity orgasm,no matter how small. You just need to chill and you’ll get there.

@valdies24

I am right there with you! I have been an Aneros user for over 2 years and have not been able to achieve any sort of prostate orgasm and I don’t have P-waves most of the time. 

I am also going through a frustrating period recently where I am not really feeling pleasure, am probably expecting too much, and have been disappointed with the lackluster sessions.

I don’t have a lot of advice on the matter, but I am about to take a little time off from prostate play and get a mental break from it all. I have found that taking a break to recharge usually allows me a body reset and helps dispense with expectations. 

Thanks for venting! I think I needed to some of that too. Just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone and to keep your head up! 😉

I just had some success.... believe it or not I was using the Do Nothing method, I was just laying there, watching a bit of porn on and off and just keeping my entire pelvic region as relaxed as possible... I kept it relaxed so I could basically feel like my aneros was just floating inside me.

Long story short I got a nice vibrating wave go from my groin up to my chest, it lasted for about a second or two but I definitely felt something.... it would seem the do nothing method is what works for me as this is the second time in 6ish months I've had that.

@valdies24 I am roughly 7 mnths in, have always been farely in touch with my body. I did not make any advances til I landed on the do nothing method. I truly beleave that the body knows hows to rewire itself given the chance. I am convinced that especially in the beginning, theres no such thing as a dud session. It just requires some stick to it ness. Your bodies talking to the Aneros, and there setting up a game plan. With a little patience, they'll soon let you in on it. My one peice of advice, cut the expectations, and take what comes. My personal journey is like nothing anyone elsehas described. I can't put a label, whats happening to me, Its not like a super o, as described by anybody else. For me if its gonna be a hi pleasure session, it happens within a minute of insertion, its like the most pleasurable electric buzz on my prostate which lasts for several minutes. No contractions, no throbbing, just pure pleasure. Before this I went through all kinds of wild stuuf , like my legs pedalling a bike, all on there own. All leading to whre I am now, so try to stick to it, get excited for whats cumming. And hey we can always go trditional,lucky us eh!

Have you experimented with a-less sessions? 

I was butting up against a lot of frustration as well, partially because of the setup and tear down required for an aneros session.

Then I read the “truth about rewriting” post which I don’t have the link for, but it really helped me see the value in aless and I feel that the bulk of my progress lately and overall has been due to my aless sessions. They’re much easier to fit into a busy schedule, and have a lot less inherent expectation in my opinion.

Another random but hopefully helpful note - try not to think about your inevitable “I did it and here’s how” post. I often find my mind wandering and fantasizing about writing a triumphant post on the forum, and it totally pulls me out of it. It can even have a negative effect on the successfulness using certain methods. It’s all part of the overthinking that naturally occurs.

Posted by: @valdies24

I just had some success....

Excellent!

Posted by: @tbob

the most pleasurable electric buzz on my prostate which lasts for several minutes. No contractions, no throbbing, just pure pleasure

Great progress, man!  Minutes of pleasure!  More than previous posts had described.

@tbob and @valdies24 in the sessions prior to attaining and recognizing my first dry-O, were some rising feelings which I'd noted across several sessions.  In particular the session or so prior to getting it, I was intrigued by the feelings.  Let those nascent sensations whet your appetite for these new pleasures we're stumbling around exploring.  I think one key for me was the wonder let me think just long enough there could be more- I had caught a glimpse of something tenuous maybe just outside my grasp.  It became a matter of joyful play, to wonder what might come next and to anticipate the next session.

Posted by: @tbob

@valdies24 I am roughly 7 mnths in, have always been farely in touch with my body. I did not make any advances til I landed on the do nothing method. I truly beleave that the body knows hows to rewire itself given the chance. I am convinced that especially in the beginning, theres no such thing as a dud session. It just requires some stick to it ness. Your bodies talking to the Aneros, and there setting up a game plan. With a little patience, they'll soon let you in on it. My one peice of advice, cut the expectations, and take what comes. My personal journey is like nothing anyone elsehas described. I can't put a label, whats happening to me, Its not like a super o, as described by anybody else. For me if its gonna be a hi pleasure session, it happens within a minute of insertion, its like the most pleasurable electric buzz on my prostate which lasts for several minutes. No contractions, no throbbing, just pure pleasure. Before this I went through all kinds of wild stuuf , like my legs pedalling a bike, all on there own. All leading to whre I am now, so try to stick to it, get excited for whats cumming. And hey we can always go trditional,lucky us eh!

 

I also get this. With the Aneros in / now I can get it aless but doing a small contraction if I concentrate on it....

The feeling of the prostate buzzing like crazy, and thru the anal region and into the base of the penis. But I can never get it to leave that area and into the rest of the body. Is this sort of the same feeling you are describing? Intense fast buzzing / vibration.

@orangejuicedrinker I can engage aless with just a thought, for me culminates in a extreme contractions, involuntarie squeezing and reverse kegal, pleasurable, but to have the electric finger , I have to have something inserted

Posted by: @jiji2000

Posted by: @tbob

@valdies24 I am roughly 7 mnths in, have always been farely in touch with my body. I did not make any advances til I landed on the do nothing method. I truly beleave that the body knows hows to rewire itself given the chance. I am convinced that especially in the beginning, theres no such thing as a dud session. It just requires some stick to it ness. Your bodies talking to the Aneros, and there setting up a game plan. With a little patience, they'll soon let you in on it. My one peice of advice, cut the expectations, and take what comes. My personal journey is like nothing anyone elsehas described. I can't put a label, whats happening to me, Its not like a super o, as described by anybody else. For me if its gonna be a hi pleasure session, it happens within a minute of insertion, its like the most pleasurable electric buzz on my prostate which lasts for several minutes. No contractions, no throbbing, just pure pleasure. Before this I went through all kinds of wild stuuf , like my legs pedalling a bike, all on there own. All leading to whre I am now, so try to stick to it, get excited for whats cumming. And hey we can always go trditional,lucky us eh!

 

I also get this. With the Aneros in / now I can get it aless but doing a small contraction if I concentrate on it....

The feeling of the prostate buzzing like crazy, and thru the anal region and into the base of the penis. But I can never get it to leave that area and into the rest of the body. Is this sort of the same feeling you are describing? Intense fast buzzing / vibration.

 

No, this is one spot on my prostate, where the tip of the aneros touches it the pleasure increases but it really doesn't radiate

Just now was my best session yet (surprisingly it was a couple of hours after penile stimulation and ejaculation) 

Haven't managed to do the 21 day challenge yet, I've only gotten as far as 3 days 

But just now I had very very nice vibrations just in the groin area and a little in my lower abdomen.

But since finishing that session I feel great and my legs are slightly wobbly, after each session which I usually have 2 a day I've been feeling more and more and I believe I have found my rhythm and which muscles and where I need to use in order to feel what I'm feeling.

Who knows maybe one day soon I'll have the super O that's always bring described as lasting minutes and intense body spasms. But to be fair I'm really happy with what I'm getting now, anything more is just a bonus at this point.

@valdies24

I don’t think your need to do a 21 day challenge. I’ve had many success within 24hrs of sex. It’s a prostate orgasm,semen or it’s retention should be largely irrelevant.

Posted by: @orangejuicedrinker

Have you experimented with a-less sessions? 

I was butting up against a lot of frustration as well, partially because of the setup and tear down required for an aneros session.

Then I read the “truth about rewriting” post which I don’t have the link for, but it really helped me see the value in aless and I feel that the bulk of my progress lately and overall has been due to my aless sessions. They’re much easier to fit into a busy schedule, and have a lot less inherent expectation in my opinion.

Another random but hopefully helpful note - try not to think about your inevitable “I did it and here’s how” post. I often find my mind wandering and fantasizing about writing a triumphant post on the forum, and it totally pulls me out of it. It can even have a negative effect on the successfulness using certain methods. It’s all part of the overthinking that naturally occurs.

@orangejuicedrinker

I think this is excellent advice! I am just coming to this realization recently and have had some decent success with some A-less sessions. Like you said, because of the setup and tear down of using a toy, it naturally sets up expectations for a good session and at the very least, you feel the need to have a long session to make it all worthwhile. With A-less, you can have a 10-minute session and you haven’t lost much if nothing happens.

Anyway, I’m thinking I can make some progress with A-less while I can. I can develop some PC muscles, feel some pleasure, and add the toys when I feel the time is right to take the next step. I may surprise myself how much progress I can make with A-less.

This is a great thread and I appreciate all the great input.

I'm not going to add to the advice given, but I will speak a bit about my experience and perhaps something in there might be helpful.

I love sex.  I love having orgasms.  When I first read about Aneros and prostate orgasms I thought 'wow a different kind of orgasm...I'm in!!!'

10 years went by.  Nothing really happened except a few moments of interesting sensations.  I threw one Aneros in the garbage out of frustration, only to buy it back a couple of years later.

One day, after 10 years of not much, it felt as if I detected a path that I had no idea existed.  The path was always available, but just hidden out of sight, and nothing in my modern American upbringing ever encouraged me to look for it.  Some things I have learned from exploring this path:

1.  Penis orgasms are coupled with a flash of bliss.  They are so reliably connected that I once thought they were the same thing.  They are not the same thing.  Orgasm (bliss) and ejaculation are two separate things that can happen at the exact same time.  I have learned to separate them with the guidance of a great book "The Multiorgasmic Man".

2.  Qigong is the ancient practice of noticing, harnessing, manipulating vital energy flows in your body.  Stroking my dick to orgasm is, in a sense, a form of Qigong.  However, this practice is depleting and draining.  The energy in the groin can be moved about the body using only intention and focus, channeling the bliss of orgasm into healing, charging, restorative energy throughout the body.

3.  Yogis recognize and work with 5 different 'bodys'.  The physical body is one.  So is the mental body.  There is a body called the 'bliss body'.  When you connect to the bliss body, your activities do not create karma, as does any activity with the physical body.  Thoughtful, open-minded, work with the Aneros will hint at and point to your bliss body.  This can be a transformative revelation.

4.  Vipsanna meditation is an ancient practice of noticing, and listening to every movement and flow within your body.  Combining the practice of Vipsanna while working with your Aneros will uncover insights and truths about the ways energy flows through your body.  One can adopt habits that charge the body just as one can choose to deplete the body.

When the day comes that you have finally 'rewired' and 'get it', you will realize that the thing that you have found is not the thing you were looking for!  That is why the journey is so frustrating.  Guys that start the process looking to 'get off' as I did, will eventually have to learn that the goal is actually 'getting on'.  The final reward is soooo much more than pleasure...although be assured that pleasure is one of the gifts to be received.

Good luck in your quest!

Posted by: @helghast

@valdies24

I don’t think your need to do a 21 day challenge. I’ve had many success within 24hrs of sex. It’s a prostate orgasm,semen or it’s retention should be largely irrelevant.

while this may hold true for you and certain others, anecdotally semen retention is very useful for generating arousal for many people. Otherwise there wouldn’t be talk of it on the forum. 21 days is an arbitrary goal, as even after a few days one can notice differences in arousal.

@divine_o 

It was a response my friend m,to him saying he’s got a high sex drive,always super horny,and arousal isn’t a problem,so I don’t see any benefit to SR is all. 

I'm more or less in agreement with @helghast here, semen retention might not do much if you have high libido 24/7. On the other hand it doesn't cost anything to try it, just to cross it off the list of things that may or may not help you as an individual. If you brush it aside, then in 6 months you decide to try it and find it really does work, that's 6 months of neglecting a good tool.

Personally I did find some minor improvement, but to me it's not worth the orgasms and ejaculations I'm not having. In other words, 7 days of semen retention is at least 7 "missed" traditional orgasms, for a relatively small, hard to measure boost at the end. Not saying it can't have any positive effects outside of sessions, but as a way to reach Super-Os more easily, each guy will have to try and see for himself how it affects things.

Posted by: @zentai

I'm more or less in agreement with @helghast here, semen retention might not do much if you have high libido 24/7. On the other hand it doesn't cost anything to try it, just to cross it off the list of things that may or may not help you as an individual. If you brush it aside, then in 6 months you decide to try it and find it really does work, that's 6 months of neglecting a good tool.

Personally I did find some minor improvement, but to me it's not worth the orgasms and ejaculations I'm not having. In other words, 7 days of semen retention is at least 7 "missed" traditional orgasms, for a relatively small, hard to measure boost at the end. Not saying it can't have any positive effects outside of sessions, but as a way to reach Super-Os more easily, each guy will have to try and see for himself how it affects things.

 Recently I had a serious horny bug had 3 sessions in 1 day, the first 2 where "meh" the 3rd one was like serious electric finger, on my prostate. Had a session last night, was ok. Had my best session ever this afternoon, not sure how to categorize it. I can say I became far more aware, of the movement, than I was before today. And the sensations ,  incredable, it was like involuntarie reverse kegals, to kegals and back. My body is helping me to feel the seperation of feelings and orgasm contractions cause they where there  but very suttle, and backwards. Sorry for going off the rails here but I'm really just starting to remember it all and I'm trying to record it. Point is there is mno rythe nor reason to when a good session may appear.

@zentai

I don’t see the point if you haven’t arousal issues. Still think something else is the block in this case.

Posted by: @helghast

@zentai

I don’t see the point if you haven’t arousal issues. Still think something else is the block in this case.

 

Perhaps, but some people report various positive effects from semen retention, for example increased energy levels, that might help with sessions. If nothing else, it's worth trying just to see what will happen (or not), and it doesn't stop you from trying other things at the same time. Basically, I feel it's not a big commitment, so why not? If someone tries it and has a good response to it and ends up with elevated mood and lower stress, this can't hurt. 

@helghast 

from my own experience I disagree that a high libido negates the need for semen retention. I Imagine that SR works even better for someone with a high libido. When I am on day 5 of semen retention with regular edging through sex and masturbation, it almost hurts I am so horny, and my prostate is constantly begging for attention.  You yourself, with your seemingly high libido, attested in one of your pegging threads to the horniness brought on through a couple weeks of chastity, which was surely in no small part due to SR (amongst other things).

@divine_o

Agreed in part,the denial was for the different goal of being pegged to a HFWO. Its just tough to figure out why someone who says arousal is no issue for them,plus a healthy libido etc can’t tie it together after 6 mths of banging on the door,the tools are there,but no major successes. Well,like @zentai said,guess it’d do harm to try,for longer than 3 days.

I've now just today gotten to a place where my legs and hip just shake uncontrollably.... it only last for 3-5 seconds but I'm able to get them back when I contact a little bit more ti start them off again.... not sure if I'm feeling pleasure at this point as I'm trying not to focus to much on searching for pleasurable sensations. But none the less I feel this is part of my journey coming close the holy land of a full blown prostate orgasm. 

Thoughts anybody?

@valdies24

I think you're doing good, once things start happening it's just a matter of sticking with it while you learn to navigate the new sensations, pleasurable feeling will manifest soon enough. Or maybe like you said, you're at a place where there is some pleasure already but you're not too sure how to interpret it yet, either way, this seems like good news to me. Don't give up !