Just relaxing and actually letting myself feel the feelings, enjoying the sensations that are there, without trying to make things happen. I think I'm making some real progress.
Congrats. Once you know it it seems so easy! Just let go and do not look for 'it'.
Gdunn is absolutely correct. I tend to think of it as surfing. You paddle out to where the pleasure will roll into you; there you will wait for the swell. When you feel the swell flowing deep inside you relax and paddle with it by thinking erotic thoughts, diddling a nipple (or both) and breathing with the pleasure. Relax and let it carry you. It will crest and crash on the shore with you swamped in rapture.