Fear of giving in?

Posted by: @pirontras

I realized I might be blocking myself from achieving real orgasm because I'm scared of overwhelming feelings.

You are certainly not alone in having experienced strong emotional feelings on the threshold of orgasm. This passage into an orgasmic state is an altered state of consciousness, where our perception of reality may be profoundly different from our default mode thinking. For many men this can trigger cognitive dissonance which may negatively impact our bodily response.

In the thread Identifying Obstacles to Progress, Fears was one of the listed obstacles. Overcoming any of those fears involves understanding your underlying belief system and making a modification to that system to accommodate an alternate, acceptable, behavior pattern. Our egos create an illusory perception of reality which then influences our behavioral reaction to that perceived reality. Understanding why you are a self described "control freak" is one place to start. Some of these aspects were discussed in the thread "Just Let Go !"

Aneros use is very much an exercise in self mind manipulation, please read through  @SteelColdiron 's thread Aneros: The Essential Mind State for a little insight. Ameliorating the concerns of your "control freak" by employing positive affirmations with respect to your Anerosessions is one step you can take. Using self hypnosis techniques with simple affirmations such as those I included subliminally in the "HypnAerosession" recording (please see HypnAerosession subliminal messages for a listing) may help.

While completely satisfying the "control freak" aspect of your nature may be impossible, employing the techniques suggested in the thread Identifying Facilitators to Progress may go a long way toward the goal of overcoming the 'Terror at the Gates'.

Good Vibes to You!

Posted by: @rumel ....

Informative and helpful as always, rumel. I will give these a read and hopefully they will give me more insight into my block.

@pirontras, I think I understand where you're coming from.  Control and moving towards its opposite- letting go- has been a process for me.  Earlier this month in Helical's beginnings I'd noted a key for me has been

Posted by: @helical in Helical's beginnings (Sessions 28-30)

having courage to reach for more pleasure- I am not going to break!

(Sessions 21-24)

It takes courage to enjoy it

The hardcore and the gentle

Lyrics at songmeanings.com for Big Time Sensuality Björk

Bjork Big Time Sensuality Live Top of the Pops 1993

My "I am not going to break" I have more or less "lifted" from @sowithoutaneros 's reply in The False Idea of Who You Are where 

Posted by: @sowithoutaneros in The False Idea of Who You Are

My early success with my Aneros tools back in late 2016 has been essentially supported by my mantra

„I will do myself no harm.“

Without this mantra soothing my panicky subconsciousness, I guess, I would never have been able to really let go and to get rid of my security scares and my fear of loss of control by.

Time and time again in this Forum, "As iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another".  May it ever be this way.  Sessions past 21-24 have seen more personal growth in Aneros and Aless.

Say you were to reach a place you did not like?  Like a flame needs air, so go Aneros and Aless with concentration and arousal.  The moment you’re uncomfortable or worried, your concentration and arousal will drop, and so will what you are feeling is overwhelming.

(Session 37)

We have all of the permission we need to swim out as far in the pleasure ocean we can imagine our bodies can take us.  If we exhaust ourselves or lose confidence we’ll not drown- the waves will buoy us back to the shoal.

Wishing you the best!

@pirontras

A somewhat different take on this, is that while you may find out in time that you were afraid for no valid reason, the fear itself is real, as real as the Super-O is. If you want to fight this, you may need to muster some courage and decide to go see what lies in that unknown place you're afraid off. And fear here does not mean you are a "wuss" or a scared little boy, after all, just like you said yourself,  there are many accounts of things being overwhelming, and that can be pretty intimating. At some point the decision to confront the fear and see what the fuss is all about has to be made, and when you reach the other side you'll see that "you can take it".

I've been at this for a long time, and sometimes things still hit a little too hard and too fast, and I have to retreat and try again another day. I recognize this as some deeply anchored self-preservation instinct that's acting up, and still, the fear is real. Some nights I just don't feel I have what it takes to ride the tiger, and that's ok, but when it happens, I know that the missing element was courage, and nothing else.

I too was and still am a somewhat regimented person. Fear and/or overwhelming feelings can be quite normal. Some the steps to super-o scared me to the point I thought something bad was happening to me. This,of course,was not true.

And I had some issues at first striking out on new paths with my wife,again,they were silly and without ground. Just throw some man-up at it and dive in and milk it for everything you can get. You won’t regret it.

Posted by: @pirontras

Hi guys, so I had a session today and I had nice pleasure waves, but nothing major. However I realized I might be blocking myself from achieving real orgasm because I'm scared of overwhelming feelings. I did feel few times like things could become overwhelming, and countless accounts from other users where they say it was overwhelming is kind of scaring me.

I am a control freak in life and I think it is one of the major reasons why I was unable to achieve super O in more than 2 years (not counting 1 instance with drugs).

I would like to hear your opinions on this and maybe how I could get over this block.

Thank you!

p.s. sorry if the text is making little sense, I wrote this while being tipsy.

I am going to posit that the realization of "I might be blocking myself", is actually an official milepost in the journey towards achieving orgasm.  IMO this is a profound personal realization.  It's proof that you are paying attention.  From here, I expect that you will slowly build the courage to surrender and attain that state that you are seeking.

Yes man you are almost there if you know that there is something inside of you that is blocking the tipping-over point.

Something about this phenomenon makes me want to equate it to the timeless, ever true male problem of dealing with the Point of No Return (PONR) just before orgasm/ejaculation becomes inevitable and unstoppable. I have tried to quell and stop the PONR, just as almost every other guy here on this forum has whether they are alone and masturbating (edging anyone?) or with their partner (premature ejaculation anyone?!?!). We want the pleasure to last longer and not end; hence, the purposeful stoppage and training to successfully stave off the PONR.

Well, that's with penis-centered orgasms and ejaculation. What is, if there is, the PONR for prostate orgasms? Those driven by the automatic and involuntary contractions of the anal sphincters? Is it clenching up to prevent the toy from moving anymore on its own? Or mental blocks (whatever the prostate-oriented version of "thinking about baseball or taxes" to prevent orgasm/ejaculation) to keep eventual, inevitable orgasm at bay?

@pirontras do you do anything physically with your body to prevent or cease that tipping-over point from taking control? Because its anally oriented, I imagine that if anyone tried to stop their anus from contracting it would be like the struggle to prevent diarrhea from happening, or holding it until you can find a bathroom, something like that. "I don't want the unpreventable from happening with my ass!" could be the way to think about this.

Just remember this: you really are in control even if you relinquish control and hand it over to a piece of smooth plastic and your automatic nervous system that makes it move in and out of your body on its own. You can squeeze and make it stop moving. Or you can relax and let it go. Either way its still your same body, the same you, the same thing happening to you and inside of you from the moment you inserted the toy until you feel that "something" different is happening and it is going to amount to something even more different: an orgasm unlike anything you've ever experienced.

One thing I like to do is breathe. Look up some really simple and short mindfulness exercises that Jon Kabat-Zinn teaches. His thing about meditation is that you don't let your mind go blank, its impossible. I did 8 weeks of mindfulness therapy for mental health in 2016 and our therapist follows Kabat-Zinn to the letter. It literally changed my life! As a result it transformed my Aneros/prostate sessions into something out of this world because I was more in the world and more grounded to myself in it.

Breathe through those troubling moments you face and wind up fearing during your session. Its you, the toy, and you breathing. That's what it is. There is nothing else (unless you watch porn or have some external stimuli, to which I say cut it off and out and your sessions will intensify in simplicity and explosiveness tenfold). You will not be in pain. You will not become something other than yourself.

It sounds like you've already had a Super O or two so you have an idea of what to expect. The issue is that your ego and id are preventing you from allowing that to happen again, even though you made it through unscathed and fine. Put less importance on reaching the peak and try to think about the slow walk back down from it. You can do this! Breathing will always be there to help you get through it.

(Or, you could recite the Litany against fear from Dune...I never thought of that before...)

Posted by: @techpump

Hey, thank's for replying. I actually wrote this post just before some major breakthroughs in my journey. And it was scary at first. But now the thing I look forward the most during the session is the feeling of being taken against my own will. It sounds a bit rapey, but I love having stronger and stronger feelings until I am overwhelmed. By trying to "stop" them, they become even stronger. I think it's like my own mental fantasy where I beg orgasms to stop, but they still hit me like a hammer.

Edit: LOL. 15 mins after writing this post I realized my underwear had a wet spot. Turns out I leaked a bunch of precum just by writing this post. Usually I would produce such amount after watching hours of porn. What a weird rewiring process this is.