Fantasy and reality, the line is getting blurry.......

I could not sleep last night after spending an hour or so on the forums starting about 10:30 pm. (Note to self, reading this forum gets me worked up, maybe don't read @ bedtime). After tossing and turning a bit I finally gave up on sleep and wrote my first post last night. I then turned on some bin-aural beats, (props to this forum), then rolled over to go to sleep. I lay wide awake for a little bit, all the while my prostrate mistress was whispering in my ear. I finally gave in to my growing addiction and got up at 1:45 am and inserted my Helix, that is the last time I looked at the clock...

I finally drifted off to sleep but came to some unknown time later in a dream state of fantasy and reality. Foggy, groggy, lovely. I felt like I was having a religious experience, bliss? I was on my side and I was semi hard, but that only annoyed me as it was distracting me from my religious/bliss feelings. Getting annoyed with a semi hard on is not something I have ever done. I usually run down that road to wherever it will lead me. I have been controlled by my cock my entire life. To have a blissful experience without it, or even more so, to be annoyed by it is really not reality to me. (Where in the world is this prostrate mistress leading me?)

I did not feel my helix moving or anything, but wherever I was, I did NOT want to leave. I am not sure how long this lasted, but it was blissful, peaceful, tranquil, and I wanted more of it. I tried to stay in this state as long as I could, I would still be in bed if it had not faded away. I slowly became more awake and rolled onto my back to get more comfortable. I was NOT sexually aroused, in the traditional sense, but I felt wonderful. As time passed I pulled the covers back more and more and explored my body lightly with my hands. Again, this was not sexual, just a pleasant feeling. The Helix was moving but I was unsure if I was doing it or not. I was in a dreamy state and have no idea how long I had slept, if at all. My ceiling fan blowing on my naked body energized every hair follicle on my body and was almost like someone else was there with me. Not quite that far, but,,,, man,,,, almost.

I felt as if every nerve ending on every part of my body was alive like never before. I just ran my hands over my face, my head, my chest, everywhere, even down to my balls and pubic hair. Everything just tingled. If I accidentally brushed against my cock, I acknowledged it and felt in my head, this is NOT about Mr. cock. It was the most unreal sensation I have ever had. I got a leg cramp and trying to make it go away I wound up on my stomach and started to get regular, even movement of the Helix. I still am not sure if I was moving it or not, but it went on so long I have to think I did not do it. But the whole thing was more like I was on the threshold of reality and dreaming. I think this lasted around 10 minutes or so as by now I was pretty awake. Things finally, slowly ramped down. I felt like I was post orgasmic, just laying in the after glow. I finally got up to pee, when I laid back down, I took the Helix out, thinking, I really do need some sleep or I will be a wreck in the morning.

I awoke with a raging hard on @ 7:17 am - this was strange since my alarm goes off at 7:30 and I got so little sleep.....

My fantasy analogy of what my journey is like so far:

My dick is like a 1995 Honda accord with a sun roof and a spoiler, it has a gear shift and a gas pedal and it may not be real sporty, but it gets me to my destination. It is quick, but not fast, and it handles turns pretty good. I have been happy with it for decades, but for my entire life I thought that was as good as it gets. And while my sex life was pretty amazing with my wife all these years, I had absolutely no idea that an entire new world lay in front of me.

My (newly discovered) prostrate is like a convertible Mustang GT, dual exhaust, 5.0 liter Coyote engine, 6 speed, yellow, looks fast sitting still in my driveway. BUT, when I get in the car and settle into the bucket seat an Aneros device slips into my ass. I look down and I don't see a clutch pedal, no brake, no gas. I look over and see no gear shift, and finally not even a steering wheel. But it just feels good to be sitting in it, but I have absolutely no idea how to make it go. I know it will go 0-60 in 4.5 seconds, I know it has a top speed of 156 mph. I can start it just by sitting in the seat, but I have to use my mind and my PC muscles to get it revved up and make it go. Man it sounds good, I am discovering I can control it for brief moments using my mind, but if I think too hard it starts to slow down. Somehow I have to submit to it and just let it happen on it's own. I need my mind to control it, but I have to let my mind go and give up control. I am still working that out...... Even though the red line is 7500 rpm I can't seem to get much beyond 2000 rpm. But strangely that is OK for now, I am not as frustrated as I thought I might be.

I have always had fantasies about a mistress controlling me and telling me what to do. My wife and I even acted that out from time to time. But this prostrate mistress is pushing my over my limit, to places I did not even know existed. I thought I had a pretty active fantasy life, but I NEVER envisioned what has happened so far. And I am just getting started. Sometimes I think, this is not real, I am expecting too much, but I don't think so, it keeps getting better and better.

So I am immensely excited to get this baby out on the open road and really see what she can do. I would be thrilled to get even 50% of the power going for me. But now I read others on the forum who have taken this thing out and blown past the 7500 rpm, and ripped by the 156 mph limit. It seems that as awesome as this car is, there seems to be no real upper limit. Is this fantasy? Is this reality?

I am only just beginning my journey, yet my mind is blown more and more with each session, and further reading and study of the prostrate. Long live the prostrate.......

Forgive me for my long posts, but I have ABSOLUTELY NO ONE I can talk to about this. This is the second biggest most unbelievable thing that has ever happened to me. But I can't tell anyone about it, it is secret, but not in a dirty, having an affair kind of way. It is pure and unadulterated joy and other things that I cannot even articulate yet. And I have no outlet save this forum. So thanks to all who listen. And even if no one reads it, I am freed just writing it out.