Ejaculation and prostate pleasure

I have been all over the map on this topic,  but i can say in my experience, "sex begets sex." I heard that phrase and idea on Sex With Emily. My wife holds a lot of keys to my whole level of energy and arousal for this practice.  We have had a lot of struggles in the sex department, and if she thaws out and spends some sexy time with me, my prostate response goes through the roof for a good while, but peters out as more dry neglected time ticks on. 

There is a lot of psychological things bouncing around in my head over this, so I my results are just mine...no idea how much this would relate to the rest of you here.

After a dozen years of experience playing with aneros, and something finally clicked, I started to experience glorious feelings of which i never felt before, or certainly never at such an intensity or level of awareness. Then, I hit the super-o in a big way...no doubt what was happening way! For two weeks I was on fire, the orgasms just kept coming, sitting in a chair, driving down the road, running farm equipment,  sitting in church even(that was weird)! I kept approaching my wife because I was dying to make love while I was on fire, but she simply gave no response, no nothing. So I "went on my own" because I couldn't take it anymore. It was awesome relief, but a let down. It took me 6 months to get back to anything enjoyable from prostate play. 

It comes is spells as many of us know, but if I'm having a dry spell, sex with the wife or independently can sometimes serve to prime the pump of my imagination for this stuff. I still don't understand. 

In the beginning of my journey. I ejaculated 6-10 times a week as the wife and I have an active sex life. I didn’t have much of an issue having a session 4-6 hrs after sex. It’s depends a lot on age,health,fitness and hormone profile mostly. I’m guilty of being a health nut,and very gym orientated!

Once the wife joined the journey,things morphed into a dom/sub thing. Ejaculations are around 2 times per month now,she does prefer to see me multiple orgasm via prostate play,and ejaculation denial and Chastity is some of the ways she keeps me coiled up like a sexual spring. I never ejaculate at the end of a session unless she wants me too. I didn’t back when I was learning either as that is pretty standard advice around here in the quest to separate orgasm and ejaculation.

The ability to re-arouse or drugs are probably the only ways to get around refractory apart from refraining from ejaculation. It’s depends if your partner is happy to make things into a game to further your journey. Unless I’m misinterpreting,thinking of ways to avoid intercourse with a partner sounds like a slippery slope and unhealthy for the relationship.

It’s just not always possible to super o as much as one wants. We gotta roll with the punches on the journey.

Posted by: @doncejankiu

If I ejaculate through sex with my partner or masturbation, I cannot reach the same level of satisfaction through prostate play for several days.

I am either not interested or the sessions are dull.

If I don’t ejaculate for several days, the sessions are mind-blowing, but I am so aroused I am unable to work or study.

First of all I'm guessing you're college-aged?  Congrats on finding out about prostate massage now, it means you'll have just that many more years of practice ahead of you.  I'm all for semen retention myself, but it must be harder the younger you are...I don't remember everything about being 20 anymore.  But...it seems you're already on your way to realizing that the longer you can wait on your candy, the better your outcome will be.  I'm not saying it's easy, just that it's worthwhile.  Do you want mind-blowing Anerosessions, or not? 

It might not matter to you right now but I can remember having better (and longer) erections 15 years ago but all I was doing back then was taking 5 minutes to cum and it was a luxury if I even used lotion.  These days I've noticed how I'm starting to slow down and semen retention has really helped me keep the libido up.  And the arousal is no longer a burden for me, but enjoyable. 

I have started a challenge that is coming up abstaining from ejaculation for the period of Lent.  I bring this up because I have posted my ejaculation log for most of the last year there and even though I went 40 days last year, it's easy to get back into the pattern of ejaculating every few days, whenever the urge to scratch that itch arises. And a lot of the times I was ejaculating in the past year it was because of frustration with not having better Anerosessions, and wanting to use masturbation to keep the session going: it never ended the way I wanted and was counter-productive in that the Anerosessions I had thereafter were never up to what I hoped for and it's taken until the last month or so to get back out of that rut again. 

If you're up for it, I'd recommend reading a few books on the subject:
The Multiorgasmic Man - Mantak Chia & Douglas Abrams
Love Satisfies - Keepitup Johnson
They've given me a new outlook on managing the urge to ejaculate and could be helpful in moving forward. 

Great avatar, BTW.

Thank you for all of your responses, I am little past the college age but somewhere I can still enjoy great regular sex with my partner. It is all about controlling the energy, lowering expectations and finding time for all sorts of play. I absolutely get that ejaculation may be a quick fix, or it could be part of great sex.

But it was interesting reading all of your experiences as regular Aneros users and how you have combined it with your partner or how denial increases arousal and how your partners play on this. 

I agree that the response can change with age or with circumstances.

I am just in this period trying to find an optimum balance to ensure no one is let down and all options are on the table. Thank you again.

i have been on this journey for about 4-5 years. I am able to Aless or use an Aneros for a session.

I am in my 50's and I only ejaculate when my wife is involved, any other time, the sessions are are fulfilling to the point where I rarely ejaculate at the end of the session. Usually, it is after a week plus of no wife involvement, and the session gets so intense that I rub one out at the end of the session just to end the waves of orgasms, but this is a rarity. The actual ejaculation ends up being the let down of the session, rather than the pinnacle. This part is hard to understand until you experience FULL prostate dry orgasms. The ability to prostate orgasm at the levels I have achieved negate any desire to ejaculate for the most part. I can Aless throughout the week when I lay down at night at anytime or as along as I want. Most times after a super intense Aless O , I fall asleep..! It is really interesting how my desire to "nut" has gone away, and I prefer the "heightened" arousal that not ejaculating brings. Also interesting is the aspect for me that if I go without ejaculating for 2 weeks or so, once I bust, I am insatiable for a couple days. I can have an Aneros session with my Helix or another model and have stupid powerful sessions. So, for me, it doesn't seem to matter as far as ejaculating and then having a session. I actually had the opportunity to be with my wife in the morning last week and then was presented with an empty house for a few hours. I decided to employ my Helix HST for a quick 45 minute session after being with my wife 3 hours previous. This session exceeded any previous session in intensity even after enjoying a full ejaculation with my wife! So, I am sure everyone is different, but for me, time between sessions is irrelevant. I also believe that the level of relaxation and being comfortable with the Aneros and your body is imperative. If you are hiding this activity from your wife, you won't be able to relax to the point you need to be. Relaxation is imperative for fully enjoying this journey. YMMV 

Posted by: @aless-freely

i have been on this journey for about 4-5 years. I am able to Aless or use an Aneros for a session.

I am in my 50's and I only ejaculate when my wife is involved, any other time, the sessions are are fulfilling to the point where I rarely ejaculate at the end of the session. Usually, it is after a week plus of no wife involvement, and the session gets so intense that I rub one out at the end of the session just to end the waves of orgasms, but this is a rarity. The actual ejaculation ends up being the let down of the session, rather than the pinnacle. This part is hard to understand until you experience FULL prostate dry orgasms. The ability to prostate orgasm at the levels I have achieved negate any desire to ejaculate for the most part. I can Aless throughout the week when I lay down at night at anytime or as along as I want. Most times after a super intense Aless O , I fall asleep..! It is really interesting how my desire to "nut" has gone away, and I prefer the "heightened" arousal that not ejaculating brings. Also interesting is the aspect for me that if I go without ejaculating for 2 weeks or so, once I bust, I am insatiable for a couple days. I can have an Aneros session with my Helix or another model and have stupid powerful sessions. So, for me, it doesn't seem to matter as far as ejaculating and then having a session. I actually had the opportunity to be with my wife in the morning last week and then was presented with an empty house for a few hours. I decided to employ my Helix HST for a quick 45 minute session after being with my wife 3 hours previous. This session exceeded any previous session in intensity even after enjoying a full ejaculation with my wife! So, I am sure everyone is different, but for me, time between sessions is irrelevant. I also believe that the level of relaxation and being comfortable with the Aneros and your body is imperative. If you are hiding this activity from your wife, you won't be able to relax to the point you need to be. Relaxation is imperative for fully enjoying this journey. YMMV 

Extremely well-put.  There is so much good stuff in here, you really hit the nail on the head.  All the heads!  I'm not nearly there myself but I know what to work for; you, my man, have it figured out.  I can't relate to what you've said with my own experiences too much but...I am also starting to have good sessions within a day of ejaculating but I think it depends on arousal and how much I've been ejaculating previously...gotta fill the tank up a bit more before I can afford to squirt some out. 

That’s awesome, I guess it is all about mental rewiring that I could still get into Aneros pleasure after sex, and not obstruct it because I absolutely love every minute of sex also.

However, I also love those ultra high arousal Aneros sessions that just drive me nuts. But as I said, I am unproductive otherwise.

I take it it is all a learning.

And I have learned a lot from the responses here.

I have trouble concentrating when I have done a combination of 4+ days retention, sex without ejaculation and prostate play. It gets to a point where all I can think about is sex. If I have no work to do, it is wonderful. If I have work and it distracts me, I ejaculate several times over the course of a day to relieve myself (and to have fun).  When it is reallly intense, even ejaculation doesn’t relieve the itch, which can last for a day or so.

Wow that’s incredible. Ejaculation usually does it for me. But I absolutely get arousal of 4+ days, especially if I’m being teased or I’m teasing myself. I almost think I am not normal as to how aroused I become. I think about sex every single minute of every day. I also look at porn that I wouldn’t normally look at. I fantasise about every single person I see. I order sex toys that I am not normally interested in. Yet when I cum, I find it all so boring.

I prefer Aless nowadays... if I go 4+ days without ejaculation I can turn it on and off at will and leak precum like crazy. If I have sex once or twice a week I have no problem maintaining this....

If I start to masturbate I lose all Aless feelings until I go 4-5 days without ejaculation again... sort of a mini re wiring... for anyone who is early stages of use..  you must go without ejaculation.

Fwiw I love watching porn etc during week to build up the arrousal and will often watch porn and just Aless....

It can get to a point tho where you have gone too long without ejaculation and all you can think about is cumming which is not great as we are trying for the prostate not a penile orgasim.

I once went 1 week + then had sex.... after the session I had my best ever Aless session 20 minutes after while goingto sleep.... as I had 0 thoughts on cumming. My penis was totally flacid.. and all I could focus on was the internal feelings and nothing to do with the penis.

Interesting, thanks for sharing! I’ve yet to build up my Aless capability, but need to practice kegeling more and find ways I can build up pleasure. Great thoughts on all of your progress and learnings.

@doncejankiu

A Kegel routine benefits prostate play overall but it isn’t a direct route to A-Less success. A-Less just requires focus of anchored tension and pelvic floor manipulation. You also need the belief that the pleasure is there despite the absence of a toy. It’s not really any different physically,to what you do with a toy. 

Posted by: @helghast

@doncejankiu

A Kegel routine benefits prostate play overall but it isn’t a direct route to A-Less success. A-Less just requires focus of anchored tension and pelvic floor manipulation. You also need the belief that the pleasure is there despite the absence of a toy. It’s not really any different physically,to what you do with a toy. 

 You are so right! Pelvic floor manipulation has opened up a whole new level for me - it’s like my perenium is moving back and forth from my tailbone to my cock root, both with Aless and Aneros!

@fred27

Its like a little rowing boat! 😉 

In my teens I could get erect many times each and every day and ejaculate about three times on average, each time depositing less semen than before. On occasion I would masturbate and ejaculate until I could no longer touch my cock as it was sore. Yet I still had the urge to cum and would still be at least semi erect. Yje joy of youth! 

Later I could still get erect  once a day but if I ejaculated then I would normally just stroke the next day until the urge subsided. On average I would ejaculate three times a week.

After discovering my Aneros I have a long and intense session about once a week, during which i will orgasm and ejaculate twice. Occasionally I will still feel aroused although my cock will be very flaccid. If I stroke it, concentrating on the head, then I will have a dry orgasm. If this happens then I will probably have a couple of days unaroused recovering. On average I have a "normal" masturbation session once or twice a week in addition to the Aneros session, but much depends on the intensity of the latter. As for sex, well if i use my Aneros with my partner then it tends to be intense for both of us and physically more tiring, so the gap would be longer.

I believe that if you listen to your body then you can't go wrong. Basically if  your cock doesn't want to play then don't make it, and indulge in some mindfullness to get fully into the mood. A good orgasm is about stimulating your brain as well as your cock! And, don't discount the flaccid cock dry orgasm - it can be just as pleasurable, albeit in a different way.

Eric

I try to go hands free without ejaculation with most of my sessions. Sometimes i will and i have never used prostate toy during sex. Maybe i just havnt met a woman that i'm ready to share that with. Must give me weird look when i bring up anal related play.

@helghast what do you think about using the aneros in a relaxation massage

Posted by: @doncejankiu

↑

- How often do you allow yourself to ejaculate?
- Do you ejaculate at the end of an Aneros session?
- Do you maintain arousal after?
- What is the best way to control the refractory period and maintain arousal? (e.g. milking at
the end of the session, dry orgasms, external stimulants or anything else)

It depends on what I'm doing and where I'm at. For instance, in October I came 14 times. Six of those times were sex with my wife. Three were oral and handjob from my wife. One was a Super T at the end of a prostate session. The other four were pleasuring my cock to cum alone. So far this month I've only cum three times and each were from sex with my wife. I'm out of town a good bit this month and I'm not playing or doing anything alone out of town. In the past though, recent past, I've cum 30-40 times a month, some days off at home alone I cum 3 or more times, depends on what I'm doing. Some months I have 6+ prostate sessions. I cum when I can if possible!

I ejaculate at the end of every single Aneros/anal/prostate session I have. I play for about 30-60 minutes with multiple toys, dildos, you name it, and at the end I lay on my back with an Aneros in me and stroke myself until I explode all over me. It is a truly fulfilling, draining, mind-bending blended orgasm. I love it and live for it!

If self pleasuring is going on, I can get aroused about an hour later or a little more, it just depends. Sex with my wife sometimes I'm able to get aroused and hard within 10 minutes if the vibe is right. After a prostate session I'm so fully drained I don't want to do anything sexual with me or my wife for hours, maybe tomorrow.

I've never tried to control it. I'm either raring to go and ready and horny, or I'm not. It depends on how much I played, how hard I came, and what time of the day it is. If I cum at 10am, I can go again by noon.  If I cum at 10pm, I'm not really feeling like I want to do anymore before bed. On the very rare occasion I just have dry Os and don't have a Super T, I feel like I want to fuck everything in the world for hours and hours until I finally do. But when I finally cum after all that I'm very spent and feel completely satisfied. 

I hope this helps answer your questions!