Does the average porn turn you on or are you looking for Erotica?

thats the stuff i still avoid, when i cant hold back my porn addiction. 😀

tho erotic stories or online blogs make me really horny i just cant get off as easily as with porn. i dont think you watch "the wrong type of porn" i think you didnt grow a fetish (jet) which makes porn so pleasurable. the big twist is that fetishes are mostly asexual.

i would recommand enjoying not enjoying porn. its hard to get away from it.

edit: i decided to go to the nudist area at our local lake next summer. its much quieter there and there are less children...kind of collateral. im nervous cause im not sure if i should ask my friends if they want to join me. i dont want seem like a perv and imply that i just want to see them naked even if i already have.

Interesting comments.

I have been reading about erectile dysfunction in even young men, and how it relates to porn addiction. Apparently the cause is either anxiety (about not being able to match up to the performance of the studs in the porn - all film fakery anyhow), or dopamine desensitisation in the brain (so that stimulation needs to be progressively greater in order to get the same effect), or both.


Both of the above hypothesese seem reasonable, BUT having had experience with the aneros and other techniques, and having been exposed to many great comments on this site, I wondered if there were another explanation?


I too am a fan of erotic imagery rather than pornographic, and this interest has become stronger with my aneros use. What is the difference between porn and erotica? Well I am not entirely sure at present, but I am working on that. To me, something that is erotic appeals to my mind - it is about the context - the situation, the sequence of events etc, whereas porn works (or doesn't) without the mind needing to be involved at all. I wonder whether erotica stimulates the mind, as well as the genitals? I agree with braveneworld that reading others comments about their aneros experiences can be very erotic.


It has often been said that our biggest sexual organ is our brain, and building arousal with aneros use seems to depend on erotica rather than porn. Many guys have said that porn is a distraction, and this could probably because it doesn't seem to involve the brain. Isn't it the case that in order to greatly build arousal we MUST appeal to our minds? Isn't this why erotic thoughts cause the greatest effect, while porn often seems to act against successful aneros sessions?


I don't KNOW that this is the case, but if others agree, then it could open up a mass of other questions, such as are successful aneros users more into the erotic than sledgehammer porn, or do we alter our focus as a result of our aneros experiences? Do people learn by experience, that the more thrilling satisfying sexual encounters are those with the greatest erotic content?


NOW you've done it - you've got me thinking again!

I struggle with this.
The difference between the erotic and porn seems to be a matter of degree.
It also seems to be a matter of "mind" need.
So some images which may be gross may still contain a flash trigger that is erotic, that stimulates the mind with an erotic energy quite separate from the image context..
For example some images of a females labia may be erotic to some while good for mindless physical release (? Porn) for others.
Watching some penetration movement may be erotic and stimulating while other images may just produce precum.
The images can be, text, moving, or still.
One man's erotic may be another man's porn.
Still thinking!

I was, and still am to some degree, a big user of porn. It helped me orgasm and answers my curious questions.

HOWEVER, since my success with the aneros device I do not look at porn. Not out of principle, rather that I am so busy concentrating on my pleasure I never get around to it. So obvioucly porn served a purpose that I may not have anymore.

I think this speaks to the value of multiple orgasms and less to the value of porn.

Ok this was a unexpected out come. I had not thought about one mans porn is another's erotica. In my mind there was just a difference and if you played say 20 clips of either I could tell you which was which.You made me think is there a difference? Yes there has to be but is it the same for everyone. So I looked at my porn and erotica finding friend google.
I typed in pornography and looked at Wikipedia.
The second paragraph was the clincher


Pornography is often distinguished from erotica, which consists in the portrayal of sexuality with high-art aspirations, focusing also on feelings and emotions, while pornography involves the depiction of acts in a sensational manner, with the entire focus on the physical act, so as to arouse quick intense reactions.


So I read this and it seems @linum idea was about right. Erotica is more about the sensual side of sex, the feeling not the hammer like portrail of the sex act.
There is a fine line between a pornographic still picture and a erotic picture and that line will most likely be different for each person.
A erotic picture could be called a sexy picture but seldom a pornographic picture but then not limited to.


This explains why I find reading the posts on this forum erotically stimulating.
Maybe this explains why I like being a nudist too.
I mean I am what I am just because I like to get my cloths off , but maybe there is an erotic allure to this compulsion. Maybe this is why I enjoy it so much.
The problem with that theory is that being nude in public is more about being treated the same.
eg Two people in a room a judge in his nice cloths and a farmer in his dirty cloths both same age.
These two people you look at and almost instantly you make judgements on their status and characters.
Now put these same two men in a room with no cloths on not knowing their previous attire.
Now you can not judge the two men apart unless you start asking personal questions.
They are both equals to your eyes.
This is what being a nudist is about but not entirely.


A pornograhic film for me is always the same.
All it is is suck, fuck, blow. A erotic film does not follow this. It has near misses, sexual tension, twists and turns with a good storyline and believable acting.
There are cheap films that aspire to be erotic but fail to deliver and are just pornos with smoke and mirrors. 🙂 These leave you whishing you had just watched a porno instead because they are so bad!


There is a difference between porno and erotica but I do agree the line is blurred person to person.

@hakunamatata I am sorry I have forgotten how old you are. I think you are fairly young from memory.
I would say I was addicted to porn too when I was young until I met a certain girl who said "enough!"
"If you want me then the porn has to stop" What can I say it sort of stopped. IIIISH
Never completely I am always surrounded by it so it is imposable to escape.
I said I had a subscription to penthouse black label. Well that stopped there and then. 🙂
You might find as you get older that things level out a bit with the porn addiction.
Keep yourself busy! 🙂
I do think though that we are all in for a shock as the next generation of boys grow up as violence and porn if forced down their throats from a early age.


Nudist lake.
Great give it a try! You know that feeling of doing something your not supposed to, that will get you in to so much trouble?
That is what I will expect you will feel as you do it for the first time. It is a exhilarating feeling!
It will show you what you are made of, what ever the outcome.
You have a right to be there just as much as the next person so your not doing something bad, thats just what you have been brought up to think!
The more you go there the less you will feel this but as I was addicted to porn too I think you might like the experience. This helped level me out as I grew up.


Some things that might help you.
Most nudist areas are clothing optional often signed Clad/unclad area, beach, lake. (we will go with beach for ease of conversation)
This means you can wear your cloths on the beach or be nude.
So you can ask your friend to goto the nudist beach with you clothed for a look.
I went first time by myself but later with my best friend (male) and then with my sister and then with my girl friend who is now my wife. Not by choice it is just how it happened.
Important you can go to look but dont be a perv. No one likes that. look but dont stare, be courteous most people are friendly. No pointing, giggling or crass behaviour!
If you are worried about the old fella rising to attention wear baggy shorts and drape your towel casually over the groin area and over your shoulder 😉 (the towel not your old fella) 🙂
You can walk to where you are going to setup your towel in your cloths if you like to make it easier.
Choose a spot that is right. I mean dont setup your towel directly in front of a womens towel so you are looking up into her.
If you are a hetrosexual setup up near but not along side a hetro couple rather than in amongst all men.
This may make it easier on you as guy men can sometime congregate all togeather. This is fine they have a right to be there too but you need to feel safe and comfortable. (safety in numbers for all)
If you make others uncomfortable they wont come to the beach and everything is ruined!
Once you have made your towel spot sit and put on your sun cream and take in the sites.
I guess once you are comfortable whip the pants off and sit some more or make a bee line for the water.
I guess if you have a friend you could say something like "I am going for it" while ripping of your shorts.
Then say come on are you chicken? and walk / run off to the water.
Either way they will think your crazy but cool at the same time.


Coming out of the water you will get the feeling of everyone watching you! Some people are, some people arnt, this will get easier the more you do it.


If you are on your towel and some sight gets you all aroused and your mast goes up lay on you stomach to hide it till it goes. Head for the cold water that will put it out 🙂


You will work it out.
Unfortunately there are undesirables on almost every beach.
These are men that lurk in the sand dunes with binoculars or walk around and stop and stare. You will know them when you see them. stay away from them if possible. ignore them they are just chicken shit gutless persons not worth worrying about. If you did approach them they would most likely take off anyway.
Very unlikely but if one approached you and propositioned you politely turn them down.


I suggest not taking a camera! Your asking for trouble....


It is ok to talk to people though you do not have to. Always be polite and you will enjoy your time there.
The more you go the more at ease you will be and the more confident.
I was shy , only 16 had never had a girl friend and was bullied all through school, but I did it and loved it.
I gives you a confidence which you keep hidden but you know what you can do because you have done it before but the guy next to you in the room would say "No way I would not go to the nudist beach I might get a stiffy". There just chicken as you smile to yourself.


I guess by that last statement it is a lot like using the aneros.
It gives you a confidence which you keep hidden but you know what you can do because you have done it before but the guy next to you in the room would say "No way

im 24. im writing diary to see if there is any progress at all with my addiction and there is (this will probably be a tv show in 20 years, the title will be "how i met your mother :D). i had a lot of backslides, but i dont come home, turn on my pc and start watching porn for...well for hours anymore. its hard to get a stiffy without visual stimulation (like linum explained) - thats why i think that anerosing is the best way to grow another nexus to sexuality and arousal instead of just dont watching porn and wait for weeks, months, years till it gets better.and yes it helps me. i just keep wondering why p3rv's autopilot works much better for me than his licking-kissing-moaning girls gone kinky stuff. perhaps cause sexual experiences are mostly about relaxing and letting go or/and intense instead of trying to get a better orgasm than the last time, but you already know that this wont happen. i always missed the relaxing part when having real intercourse as well.

its not a nudist lake only, but the areas are seperated with a high fence and its like a third around the lake, so the nudist area is quite big. at these public lakes or public swimming pools topless women are quite normal and a lot of guys change quickly in public when nobody seems to be watching - so i do too. every bigger town has a public swimming pool with mixed saunas. so what im trying to say is that being naked is not that much of an eye catcher anymore - im just not used to it and i guess i will sweat blood the first few minutes, but i think i still should bite the bullet, cause i may like it and become more comfortable with my own body.

i already did some research about the dos and donts, but first hand information is always more informative. so thank you. i may blog this in 6 months, when its more than -10 degrees outside.
😀

I have definitely found that since my rewiring, I don't find regular porn appealing anymore. Sometimes I think I'm turning into a woman emotionally now that I experience sexual pleasure more like a woman. Now, just being naked with and holding my wife is a major turn on. I find reading erotic stories and slower, more intimate porn much more appealing now. Searching for "passionate" on porn sites brings up the stuff I'm interested in now.

@PCD I thought I was the only one. Since I started using Aneros, Porn just doesn't cut it like it did. I like the subtle thought of touching and stuff. I am less focused on the orgasm. However, this approach seems to increase all other aspects of sexuality. I feel more alive and vibrant.

To put it in context we now like the slow boil rather than just give it heaps and expect a bag!Slow boil gives you time to experience the whole journey.

PCD ... "Sometimes I think I'm turning into a woman emotionally now that I experience sexual pleasure more like a woman"

Yes - this has occurred to me too. I am almost getting evangelical over it, and bemoan the rise of sex that copies porn, and porn-induced sexual dysfunction. I sometime feel that porn can steel people's lives, chew them up and spit out terrible sexual partners as a result.

I sometimes feel my aneros journey is redressing this imbalance, and making my sexual life truly and sustainably exciting once more. The timing has been impeccable.

I have thought about what is useful to me. After the initial curiosity and being thoroughly put off by gross impossible position porn, I began to find romantic and what I call mainline sex play. It reminds me of what we used to do all night but now try all night to do. Erotic, passionate, loving, explicite sex where the couple might actually be enjoying, or could enjoy, what they are doing is helpful to me but not when I am in a session. It sort of keeps me interested. I have found a couple of sites which are quite nice - but here is an oldie talking. I like to see nice things, beauty and harmony and be amazed at the whole dimension of sexuality, it power, its energy and it mind blowing expertience. What an amazing thing.

Like many of you ....post rewiring I don't find porn appealing. I get much more aroused writing my own experiences and recalling the sensations I felt or the images that fill my head when i am writhing in ecstasy. That is why I have been writing my blog LinghamansLog. Giving voice to the erotic experiences I am having is customized peronal erotica ..... my memory is a wonderful tool to arouse me.

I too am finding typical porn a little (gasp) boring. I've been using hot and erotic audio while fantasizing or recalling past experiences to a greater success. There's less distraction visually for me and I don't have to fast forward through chapters of boring scenes that might sent me over too soon. Instead I can pace myself while exploring and focusing on myself.

@Engorged what "hot and erotic audio" do you use?

A few links that I find useful when needing to arouse myself:

User created erotic audio.
http://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildaudio

User created (hetero) nude and porn pictures.
http://www.reddit.com/r/gonewild

Passionate and real looking (hetero) porn links
http://www.reddit.com/r/passionx

But really, no matter what your sexual orientation, kinks and turn ons are. Just use the search feature there and you'll likely find an appropriate subreddit.

@wontquit,
I have a good amount of pron so it just depends on my mood. Put on a flick, maybe some background music and I'm good to go. Nothing beats a beautiful woman hitting her ecstasy notes...

@Love-is, thank you. There is one video on the passionx site that is truly amazing. Two young people have some real caring high energy fun. It is just amazing. Passionate. Nice for an oldie to remember what it was like. Well it looks like they are enjoying themselves, and it looks real too.

@isvara - You're welcome. There is some good stuff on that particular subreddit even though it is not amateur/user created.

This is my favorite porn to look at. My wife is a fan of it also.

http://unbolucifer.tumblr.com/

My Fav porn right now for Aneros sessions or less sessions for that matter is watching videos of girls on the Sybian machine. Watching orgasms that powerful and hearing the moans in ecstacy really gets me off.

@isvara said:
"It all seems to be a matter of "mind" need.
So some images which may be gross may still contain a flash trigger that is erotic, that stimulates the mind with an erotic energy quite separate from the image context."

I find this to be true for me. And I can learn something from recognizing the trigger. For instance, I've learned to recognize and appreciate the look two or more men give each other that shows tenderness and humaness during the most intense porn, and can quickly differentiate that from perfunctory kisses and touches that the director wants. I can even tell when two guys are lovers outside the studio. This is a turn on for me. I can tell if the moans and other sex sounds are real or dubbed in. Real is a real turnn on, even without watching the action during a session.

On the other hand, bondage, rape, degradation, fetishes, and sex toys are a turn off. Even here though I've recognized certain triggers that I didn't know about, like the aneros in porn, and some degradations, if not coerced, are sexy. I can screen out the porn I don't like quickly. I find it helpful in my sessions to get aroused and to amplify the arousal to my whole body, but at a certain point it seems counterproductive. On the other hand I haven't had any of the dry Os yet. The hypothesis that I have seen here is that relying on porn seems to blind one to one's own erotic fantasies which the sexually aroused body resonates to and taps the source of the super O s. This makes sense in that weed does the same thing for me, taps the part of my mind where the erotic dreams live. Sex and weed have always been intimately connected in my mind but, like porn, gives diminishing returns as far as training my mind and body to reach the highest level of sexual experience from within, without external aids. I see a benefit in having that innate ability.

So maybe for me I have to avoid reliance on addictive things like porn and weed, at least until they have fulfilled their purpose, and then just sit back and let my minds do what they will with my body.

Porn doesn't do anything for me anymore. I have to be participating in order to be aroused.

Interesting discussion. It got me thinking about my reliance on porn videos to build up sexual energy. I heard somewhere that men are more visually oriented for sex than women and that's been my experience. So maybe that's why men are more aroused by sexy pictures and videos. Anyway I decided to just listen to my favorite porn videos during today's session to see what happens. I know that's not exactly porn free but the point is that I was listening to the men groaning in ecstasy to hypnotic sounds and natural sounds, and letting my imagination roam free.

And wow. I got almost through the doorway to orgasm land, could see the light shining through. I took an idea from the marijuana thread and lightly concentrated on how my prostate felt. I could actually picture it and"see" how the aneros was touching it. This is the closest I've been to what seemed like a dry orgasm since I've started.

I looked for some audio files specifically for gay men's sessions and couldn't find any and the audio with women's voices did nothing for me. So I ripped the audio from a few of the choicest porn videos in my collection. I found that not all good porn has good audio, at least for this purpose. I'll have to edit some and work on equalizing the audio. If any gay men are interested, it's relatively easy to do this and worth the effort. I don't know if my tastes in pornographic audio will suit your needs. I like subjects that remind me of my adolescence, or several men having wild sex, or a couple who are obviously close and tender with hypnotic sounds or natural sounds in the background. I can put a sample on this forum if anyone wants.