Does it just click on one day? Also relaxation vs arousal?

Will it just "click on"? Totally unpredictable. I felt nothing for my first 2 sessions then bang! the most amazing thing I have ever felt. Others seem to work up to it at a totally variable pace. Then it's completely non-linear, two steps forward one back, and the dry spells where nothing works for possibly weeks.

Are relaxation and arousal directly linked? I don't think there's a particular balance as such to be struck between those two. You need to be aroused certainly, nothing is going to happen if you aren't aroused. Whether you are relaxed or not is a personal thing, I know everyone talks a lot about how important it is to be completely relaxed on here but it's really not very easy, I think a small bit of tension helps you build an orgasm, sometimes even helps you into an orgasm (although too much tension can certainly block it, and relaxing into the orgasm helps), it's once you hit orgasm that you want to relax fully to get the super-O / whole body orgasms.

Sounds like you are doing fine, just concentrate on those good feelings (and never forget to breath properly).

I am usually hyper charged for sexual stimulation when I start a session. I'll masturbate and edge for at least 10-20 minutes depending on the time I have to devote to it. I usually don't have any sound or visual on at all when I'm on my back with a toy in me.

Do you have good lube? does it slide freely? Do you know where your prostate is in regard to the aneros? Have you tried to manually move the aneros in and out of you to engage your prostate? Lastly, have you done PC clamps/clenches to make the toy move into you, and then release to let it go out?

It creeps up on you.

Yep, it took me a few months before things started hapening. I just listened to the forums and trusted these guys. I watched the tutorial on xtube looking up helix mmo on google. A 45 minute long video of one guys session with explanation. Was instructive and helped me keep the drive to moving forward

@yankeecowboy this one?

http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=7eYaC-S767-

For me it never just "clicked on" all at once, out of nowhere. It's been a series of small successes, that eventually combine to form a sense of direction. A sense of what is or isn't likely to lead to the feelings I want. Sometimes, at random, all the stars align, and a nice feeling builds into something incredible.

The relaxation question is tricky. Personally I don't like to think of this as meditation, because the idea I have of meditation (rightly or wrongly) is that I'm trying to shut down all thought and leave my body to become blank. That state hasn't worked for me. The state I most successfully aneros in is far more present and passionate than that. It's somewhat meditation-like, but it's more selective, in that some parts of my awareness are left awake. Some sexual, animal part of me is allowed to take center stage, and the challenge becomes taming that beast... teaching it that being physically submissive to the involuntaries leads to pleasure. I don't know how crazy that sounds, but I believe this is the kind of sense/awareness you can develop over time, by having enough different types of session and comparing them.

Good description @Clenchy. 'Mental focus', as someone else on here often says (can't remember who), is a great way of describing it. Maybe a better way of thinking of it unless you are someone who actually practices meditation anyway. Actually being 'in the moment' is a very important part of it (and meditation).

I always think of it as a balancing act - between relaxation and tension, control and submissiveness, concentration and letting the mind wander and relax, between trying to control it and letting it happen, between parasympathetic and sympathetic to put it technically. Hit the right balance and you will orgasm.

Hey @BobaFett,

the thing about relaxation is mostly to let go of the (traditional) habit of using muscle work to build up arousal. Of course you can hold a certain amount of (muscle)tension, but you have to be aware of it and withstand the temptation of (mis)using it for ascending.

What you want is tension/excitement/arousal of your nerval clusters not your muscles! So the best way to improve (and not just wait for your body to click) is to get in touch with your nervous system. What helped me the most, was a strict kegel workout over the course of like 1-2 months, because it unlocked the ablility to control my pelvic muscles more precisely and more importantly, enabled me to feel more precisely what's going on down there. It's a bit like learning to ride a bike. But instead of learning a motion sequence and building "muscle memory", you learn a sensory sequence and build up "nerval memory".

Personally I don't like to think of this as meditation, because the idea I have of meditation (rightly or wrongly) is that I'm trying to shut down all thought and leave my body to become blank. That state hasn't worked for me. The state I most successfully aneros in is far more present and passionate than that.

I guess this is a common misconception. Meditation must not mean to shut down all thoughts. What comes to my mind is Samu, which is a form of Zen-Meditation where you find ease and mindfullness by doing a simple task (like raking these famous stone gardens). IMHO, anerossing is a very good example for such a kind of meditation...

Maybe there is no arousal versus relaxation. Versus is tension. Versus is not arousal. Versus is neither arousal nor relaxation. If one could find arousal through relaxation or relaxation through arousal, maybe one would discover a new meaning to these words. Sometimes power is just waiting to be unleashed.

Maybe there is no arousal versus relaxation. Versus is tension. Versus is not arousal. Versus is neither arousal nor relaxation. If one could find arousal through relaxation or relaxation through arousal, maybe one would discover a new meaning to these words. Sometimes power is just waiting to be unleashed.

I like my own comment. LOL

Canacan

I find your last post to be cryptic and vague........no attack here. Just a guy genuinely interested in becoming rewired and not able to figure out what you are talking about in all your versuses.

Can you explain more.

I understand what can is saying. The words used "versus" indicates a struggle. Pointing out that we cannot struggle into success between arousal and relaxation. Rather we stop and simply be. Relax and feel. If you think about the tip of your nose and how t feels for example. Can you not feel the pressure on it or tension of the skin? Or concentrate on the sense of the eyeball, can u now feel the wetness and the movement of air across the cornea? Relax and feel then the prostate, focus on the sensation lying just inside your body. As ou relax and focus the arousal comes. They are not polar opposites but walking hand in hand. Relax and breathe and focus and feel. Arousal and pleasure will follow. But it will follow on its own schedule. It cannot be forced, only waited upon. If you cannot relax, if there is emotional tension or something plaguing your mind then your ability to relax into sensation will be moderate at best and nothing will come. So be ready in your head then move forward.

@Canacan seems to have at least two personalities... he switches between reationalism and lyric excursus like a true loony genius... I guess he is way beyond us 🙂

Some things clicked, but only in understanding why great orgasms occur and not how. Especially in the early stages, I found it's really down to waiting for your brain and body to pick up on what makes you tick, and focus on it. Experimenting and trying not to get impatient.

For me it was a fairly gradual process, with some sessions that hinted at how amazing things could get in the future with consistent exploration. To be honest, 75% of it was through generating arousal in the mind. The other 45% is waiting or the muscles to develop enough that I can tune in better to the sensations. These days I could get some crazy orgasms, if I wanted to, on the train or wherever.

@Turnow
2 things.
Symbolic tension and psychological tension are "tension" just like muscular tension is. Arousal by tension is limited. Arousal despite relaxation is even weaker. Arousal by relaxation seems to be unlimited. This is the type of arousal we are talking about.

I found myself making strange noises and my body doing strange things on it's own before I realized it was meant to be pleasurable. After that it took a while for me to notice what was really enjoyable.

You have a false benchmark when using an aneros of your regular ejaculation based orgasm. It's not like that at all really. More like just the euphoria without your cock sneezing whilst being on the edge of a sneeze. And it happens over and over again. But sometimes you sneeze without sneezing.

WOW what a cool analogy - your sneeze description is so on target and I have never seen anyone describe their orgasm quite this way - takes me to a total different thought process. Thanks for sharing

Once again, just should have asked the women. The hint was there all the time and also was typed here on a regular basis:

"Clitoral orgasm is like a sneeze, vaginal orgasm is like a shiver.

After all, man and woman are not alien at all, they just are strangely and beautifully deformed versions of each-other.

Don't overdo it and enjoy the ride.

So using that technique of concentrating on sensation in specific areas I took a page from mantak chia and decided to see if I could move the senses along a path of concentration, feeling the tool pressing against the prostate I focuses on the sense of it like running water to my tailbone, up my spine behind my shoulders up my neck and swirled around my head 3 times down the face, throat sternum to my belly and then down to my cock base to tip.
What happened next?
After about half an hour I was having incredible feelings, orgasmic feelings inside me and through my cock, body shuddering, head swimming. And a sense of strength and relaxation through my body.
It lasted about 15 min and I shut it down. Just did it again today for another 5.

@yankeecowboy - the energy circulation technique used to generate an 'energy orgasm' is also worth a try (google it). I think anything that gets the energy moving helps.