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Do any of your real life friends know?


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(@Anonymous)
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After having discovered aneros and super orgasms after every session I just want to tell all my friends what they are missing lol. It's amazing but I'm not comfortable enough with telling them at the moment. I feel like they won't understand and when I have mentioned anal play before most seem to be against it. I have one friend who I know wouldn't consider it "gay" but most likely wouldn't want to try it. Most of my others would probably just lightly rib on me here and there but none with serious disgust or malice. It's nice to talk online with all of you but it would be cool if I had the courage to tell my close friends. Any of you tell your friends and how did it go? Not looking for advice just curious about others 🙂


   
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SOwithoutAneros
(@sowithoutaneros)
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@Courtisism, I fully agree with you that it's a pity, how few men know about our blissful capabilities. Although born in the "wild" Sixties, sexuality never has become a topic to be discussed freely among the men of my age I learned to know so far. If ever mentioned, any sexual topic would lead to jokes or to embarrassed silence. Thus my courage only would make my friends feel helpless and try to change the topic. Can't really estimate, whether I would like details discussed with them either. May I ask for roughly your age?


   
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(@mmgbenis)
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@Courtisism . First of all, I want to thank you for bringing this up, because it took me back to a thread I had started back in 2014 about "Telling your friends". I wanted to poll the community. But in addition to the discussion, an aneroser who briefly made a splash here, named Crimsonwolf, told a bit about his remarkable abilities to Aless. he actually made some video clips too. but in any case: have a look at "Telling your friends" Hmm. maybe you already found it and voted. No matter, here's the link anyhow: https://community.aneros.com/community/general-discussion/telling-your-friends


   
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(@harper)
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Wouldn’t it be a lovely If we could speak openly about this? I can’t think of anyone other than with a wife or close partner that I would ever dream of bringing up this subject in conversation. Such a pity really, I don’t imagine it is any different to some practices that might go on behind closed doors anywhere in the world. But men being men and having to appear “macho” I can only imagine the response if I were ever brave enough to try and spread the word. To be honest I think I would feel more comfortable confiding in a female.


   
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 amaz
(@amaz)
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Any man who does not experience Aneros and prostate orgasms really misses something in their lives. The problem is that it’s hard to talk about. I have told my wife about it. Sorry, but I do not tell anyone else


   
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(@goldenboy)
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I'm with @amaz !


   
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(@twlltin)
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Similarly, the only person who knows in real life is my partner.


   
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 BL
(@blenderman247)
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For me, it’s something so personal that I don’t want to talk about it with anyone that knows me. I wouldn’t want anyone to imagine me doing it. I can, however, imagine a scenario where it could come up during a night out drinking. I’m in my late thirties so this doesn’t happen very often anymore.


   
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HereByAccident
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I so want to tell my friends! But have been a bit nervous to do so. I hinted at it with one of my friends whom I know to be into "kink", but I don't think he quite got it.. not surprised, as I didn't explain much. I'm half tempted to just buy one as a gift for each of my closest friends and insert a note with a link to the wiki and write on the card, "Trust me, you'll thank me later!"


   
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(@mmgbenis)
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In the forum thread that I started (and which ended) about 3 years ago, (see above) I noted that I had mentioned Aneros devices to patients who had some complaints about prostatic enlargement, without mentioning that I had personal experience with it. Well, I have finally broken my own silence. I get a therapeutic massage (Swedish type--no tantra or other sensual components--just saying). We have never discussed sexuality or sensual behavior in our sessions. (By the way, he is a superb masseur and has helped my own back issues amazingly).

I mentioned my use of Aneros in the course of telling him about my own professional work and my own experience. He has ordered a device! We'll see if he wants to discuss its use...


   
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(@giveitago56)
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I feel like a bad friend. I want to tell my friends so they can enjoy life changing pleasure from the aneros journey. But I am too fearful that I might be judged.


   
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(@Anonymous)
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I like too tell the hole world about it (and I am only a wife). I have told some male friends of ours not about our aneros use but prostate massage, ( my husband is a bit embarresed about it.) If you have any good ideas about how too tell shout it out loud.

The stubborn wife


   
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(@Anonymous)
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Sexuality is tricky in western culture. Personally, I hate to see grown men blush and look uncomfortable so I don't feel a need to share. Even though prostate massage could be looked upon as a health choice, for most of us, it becomes an extension of our sex lives.

I would have to share my Aneros use with a lover, but friends, not so much. I've lived my whole life getting confused looks from people when I try to "share" experiences. If I had a friend who was suffering prostate issues, I would suggest they research HIH and Aneros on their own and see if it's something they want to look into. As far as sharing my recreational use with a friend; "Guess what I'm putting up my butt..." is an awkward way to start a conversation with anyone, regardless of their sexual orientation. Besides, I think when someone is ready for this kind of experience, they usually find it themselves.


   
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Unfug
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Hey @Courtisism ,

Any of you tell your friends and how did it go? Not looking for advice just curious about others

Good question, which I guess concerns most uf us.

Yes some of my close friends know with varying detail. Beside my wife, I only told my female-best-friend in greater detail, since she is the only friend who is truly non-judgemental and interested enough to learn tantric techniques herself. To my male friends I dropped some hints here and there, but backed out as soon as I encountered the slightest defensive behaviours - which happend almost everytime ofc. 🙁 You just can't win someones heart by force.

My female-best-friend (who I told) is in a relationship with one of my closest friends and at one night out he was making a slightly downgrading comment on me (forgot what he said exactly, shame on you drunk-past-me) which told me a few things:

  • apparently his partner talked with him about this topic
  • maybe with the suggestion to try it himself
  • he didn't like the idea and reacted defensively
  • I was right not pushing this topic with him directly

My circle of friends is quite interwoven: a lot of couples formed through the connections of the circle of friends itself. So there is a lot of crisscross communication. The women talk, the men talk, couples talk, BFFs talk.. you get the idea. So when my wife talked (seemingly) openly with the "girls-club", word spread that I'm multiorgasmic and some other women got the desire of having a multiorgasmic man too. Still, nobody came to me to ask for advice... so far.

I just want to tell all my friends what they are missing lol. It's amazing but I'm not comfortable enough with telling them at the moment.

Sadly, there are good reasons for not being comfortable enough. It's quite logical actually - humans will be humans. The most natural response to something unknown (which you did not seek out yourself) is cautiousness. If you find yourself in this cautious state and get pushed just a little, this turns into fear. And this turns into defensive behaviour. And there you have it. General uncertainty with oneself and being prone to fear is wildly spread. IMHO, most people don't have peace of mind, but are just busy with pretending to be full functional adults who got it all figured out. I would even go so far and say all adults are just kids with experience pretending to be adults. This might sound a bit dark, but it helps me a lot, to understand peoples behaviour in general.

Thus my courage only would make my friends feel helpless and try to change the topic.

This sums it up pretty good and is true for almost every sex-related topic. It's a double-edged sword: sometimes they feel the stuff they do is too kinky (thus would make them vulnerable) to share, sometimes they think they are too boring and won't admit they have not experience with this or that.

Any man who does not experience Aneros and prostate orgasms really misses something in their lives.

The problem is: as long as you are missing out, you can't know what you are missing. Therefore no strain and need to grow. Actually I heard quite often things like: "No thanks, I'm good. My sexlife is perfectly fine and needs no further improvement."

I'm half tempted to just buy one as a gift for each of my closest friends and insert a note with a link to the wiki and write on the card, "Trust me, you'll thank me later!"

Had this idea too, but here's the catch: you are not done with an aneros in your hands. You are not done shoving it in and locating your prostate. You have to want it in the first place to be able to put up with it for the weeks or months it takes until you succeed. That's why I never gave them as a gift. People would just be disappointed and discouraged pretty fast (if they even consider trying in the first place).

Cheers, Unfug


   
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 GG
(@graygutts)
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I have given this a lot of thought and my strategy would be just to discuss the multi orgasmic part. Separation of orgasm and ejaculation like in the multi orgasmic man. That bit sounds amazing to most men.... if they are interested then they will go down that route with the PC muscles and deep breathing etc.

I think once you see the benefits from this then you are half way there.


   
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xileh
(@xileh)
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Imagine having a group of guys together, and bringing up the idea of getting a prostate examination once a year. Just watch all of the seat squirming!

I do it anyway.

Any guy over 40 is playing roulet with his life if he isn't, but they still don't want to talk about it. I'd love to tell them the rest of the story, but damn, they just aren't ready yet.


   
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HereByAccident
(@herebyaccident)
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On giving an Aneros as a gift...

but here's the catch: you are not done with an aneros in your hands. You are not done shoving it in and locating your prostate. You have to want it in the first place to be able to put up with it for the weeks or months it takes until you succeed. That's why I never gave them as a gift. People would just be disappointed and discouraged pretty fast

True - good observation... I guess you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it insert an Aneros!


   
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 GG
(@graygutts)
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Yea but bring up KSMO, Kegals, meditation, MMOs and aless orgasms and suddenly it doesn't seem so bad to talk about...

You just sound like a tantric master 🙂


   
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(@mewanttools)
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There a lot of very good observations and comments here on this topic. This topic is inherently multi-aspect. Some points concern some while other points concern someone else. I think it is wonderful that some have a desire to point their friends toward pleasurable things; however, from the posts here we can see it is somewhat difficult, for a variety of reasons. It is quite an un-nerving thing when one has to go to their urologist and have him do a prostate exam. Exams will never be anywhere close to how we feel about our most intimate sexual inclinations and enjoyment. Yes, there are erogenous zones that can be stimulated and one may have a "moment", but we do not equate the one with the other. No one goes to the dentist and has a "moment" concerning oral intimacy. I do get massages and when the therapist gets to my thighs I often get at lest some state of a boner. But I have no intent for the massage session to be intimate sexually. It is just the way I am wired and the same goes for most men as well as women. My therapist says that the only difference between men and women is that men have an obvious outward indicator that an erogenous zone has been activated or stimulated. Another component of this topic is that anything anal, with regards to receiving, for men, is viewed as "gay". It is obvious that if homosexual men are going to put their cock somewhere below the waist, it involves the anus. Therefore, any man who has an inclination to enjoy all erogenous zones and areas of intense neural connections has this cloud of "gayness" hovering over, if he has an inclination for anal play/stimulation. We all have a variety of inclinations and sexual preferences. I believe that as long as they are healthy for us that we should not be haunted by that black cloud of ridicule or embarrassment that comes from immature people. Once upon a time the puritan religious leaders put forth that anything beyond the "missionary position" was wrong! I do not know how that was ever policed but it is testimony to how people embrace one thing but not another and that is usually preference driven and viewed through pride. Pride? Yes! Certainly, I am the standard and if I don't like it or think it is not "right", then everyone else should not do it. And, if they do, then I will label them as odd, weird, gay or anything that is derogatory! So goes the human thought process for some folks. Now, though we embrace anal/prostate stimulation as our inclinations and preferences that does not mean that we will be readily accepted as "normal". So, to pour out your heart to "friends" can be a situation where you invite scorn or a retraction of friends from your circle due to the fact that they are not mature enough to understand and accept. I do not have friends with whom I readily discuss intimacy topics, but I would certainly discuss it and reveal preferences with eyes wide open if I did. Truth be told...many of the men and women who point fingers or raise an eyebrow would like to try it. Many of the "manly men" down at the rough-neck job site who say one thing in public that sounds "macho" is likely doing it also or they want to at least try it! We are creatures who desire acceptance but we refrain from some discussions out of fear of scorn. Whether you desire to talk about politics, my Lord-Jesus or anal/prostate health/enjoyment, I am all for it! Check out the following site for married folks who rejoice in their monogamous sexuality. Do they tell their "main street friends" about this site or about their exploits? I doubt it for the aforementioned reasons. So, some anonymity, as we share experiences within another community of likeminded inclinations, is a good thing.


   
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(@mewanttools)
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Sorry! I forgot the website I promised in the above post. http://www.marriageheat.com


   
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SOwithoutAneros
(@sowithoutaneros)
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@Unfug, thanks again for sharing your profound wisdom and expert advice.

Your thesis

IMHO, most people don't have peace of mind, but are just busy with pretending to be full functional adults who got it all figured out. I would even go so far and say all adults are just kids with experience pretending to be adults. This might sound a bit dark, but it helps me a lot, to understand peoples behaviour in general.

is the best example for your analytic talent. Well said and convincing, better said elementary!

If only we wouldn't compel each other to waste most of our precious energy for pretending!


   
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(@new-adventure)
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Thanks for sharing all the wisdom and comments about sharing the aneros. Like others have said sharing this knowledge with others can be very scary. A fear that we will be laughed at and rejected. But I can not say that I am above that since I have not told my wife or any other close friend.
Sex (anal stimulation) is very intimate where we live out our fantasies and pleasures. Where we are able to explore our pleasures without seeking approval from or acceptance from anyone else. As was previously mentioned we are children + experiences = adult. As adults and couples we have forgotten what it was to be a child where we played together to make each other happy. Not judging each other but exploring life and sexuality together. So finding the right person to tell is very difficult.


   
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p38
 p38
(@p38)
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Sorry! I forgot the website I promised in the above post. http://www.marriageheat.com

Thank-you for a very well thought out, concise, 'right on' post and link !

Hope your Aneros experiences take you (and your partner) to those intimate places we all desire and are lucky enough to enjoy !


   
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