Different Feeling (sorry, long story)

So I've been goin at the aneros for about 5 yrs now, and only now have I started to notice a big difference.

The first change being; I don't go at the aneros anymore, I let it go at me (if you catch my drift).

The second, is that I've for the most part stopped masturbating. I hold off for a few days, and wait for my body (not just penis, or just prostate) to tell me it wants to be played with. I wait until (for example) I see a breast, bounce in a movie, or on tv, and my whole body gets a rush of excitement. Then when I have the time, I go and watch my favorite porn, which right now seems to be videos of cam girls with big natural tits.

The third stems off from the second. Since I feel that the prostate orgasm is more related to not only a male or female side of sexuality, but a universal state of bliss that we can all experience (just my opinion), I try and tap into that. I lay down naked and watch how the women move. I'm trying not to think about my cock, so I push over to imagining what a woman being played with would feel. I start with light nipple play (a new thing for me, now that I am pretty sure I have rewired them) and feel my prostate light up. After the feelings intensify and I grow a hard erection (without touch), I let the penis feelings that come with getting hard, subside. Then I repeat that whole process, only I do this by rubbing a well lubed finger around my asshole, and now concentrate on the feelings centered around the anus. I'm on a mission to give myself an anal orgasm, like one I had experienced when I first started anal play, it was VERY intense, and I only played around the outside; I never entered.

At the point when I feel my heart rate increase, and I get tingly around my hole, I usually insert the aneros. Now I don't think I have had a SO yet, but the other day in the middle of some intense full body pleasure, I reached a new level of sexuality. I was thrusting my hips in pleasure, I ripped of my blanket, and just let my hands rub all over my body while I breathed heavily. My stomach would not allow for slow deliberate breathing, and my abs remained tight. I felt my heart start to pound faster, and faster, and a sharp burning sensation concentrated in my anus. I had not felt this feeling before, but when I focused on just that, a different pleasure took over the region. It was pleasure, that, well, wasn't anything. It was traditional pleasure, it wasn't anus, or prostate...it was just a regional pelvis pleasure. Small contractions would push it forward, but soon it disappeared.

It felt like I was on a lonely dark road, on a quiet calm fair weathered night. I had the window down, and was enjoying the soft breeze on my face. As I made my way over a hill, I caught a glimpse at pair of tail lights, then they vanished over another hill. My curiosity peaked. Who is this? Why are they here? Where did they come from? I need these answers to feel complete, and I don't know why. I speed up slightly as not to alarm this mystery driver ahead of me. I only catch momentary glimpses as we reach the peaks of the hill tops. This has happened many times before, but I lose him everytime.

Tonight however, the light were brighter, they pierced through the night sky, blotting out most of my surroundings. This time it wasn't a car, but a truck. Slower, more prominent. Still not wanting to spook the driver, I kept my distance. I followed for so long, the familiar surroundings slowly melted into a whole new world. A world that seemed the sun had just set; dark, but just light enough to know I was someplace unfamiliar. I like the night had reset, it was all starting over again. My breathing intensified, as well as my heart rate. The only thing to keep my anxieties at bay, was the curiosity, and excitement. "Who are you?", I kept asking myself. The thrill of this is overbearing. The road has become flat; there are no hills to hide behind. I'm going to get the answer I've been searching for.

I'm creeping up slowly. My palms are sweaty, my heart is at war with the walls of my chest. My lungs are filling me with more oxogen than my brain can take. I want it so bad, it's making me sick. My whole body is one big clenched up ball. I can almost read the license plate, but my windshield is fogging up from my breathing. I'm losing site. He's speeding up slightely! "Does he know I'm following him?!". I try not to panic, as I push my car to it's limits. I'm keeping pace, and everything around my is blurring. I'm practically part of my steering wheel at this point.

Then it happens. My car is over heated. It putters to a stop, I pull over, and ponder what went wrong. The disappointment washes over me, as I sit, sweaty, disappointed, but still exhilarated. Until next time, my elusive friend.