Confusing experience for a beginner

Hi,

being pretty much where you are, just now going through your experience, I am inclined to  your option one. I think we are in the phase of  awakening and rewiring and need some time. I have a post about my approach, perhaps you would be interested to read it, and in walking this path together.

Your option 2 is of course possible, but it is too early to say (see option 1).

3 is a bit tricky; you can't go wrong with the toy, but there may be something in placing oneself right to get the best effect, and this has to be experimented. I tried it on the back and sides, with no noticeable difference. Yesterday I had a two hour session in a restchair, nothing special, either. I just relaxed myself to fall asleep. But as I explained, I still believe I should wake my prostate first.

@YumaYuma @user1234 you are both new members and I presume new to prostate play. It seems you are aware that success in this venture takes time for most users (including myself in early 2016).

My advice is to accept that it will take time; analyzing on an ongoing basis does not help. Questioning if the tool fits your anatomy is also not pertinent, it does. Remember, your prostate and anal canal are being subjected to something new and your brain is still not ready to accept this intruder let alone release good sensations with it.

Time, relaxation and mind noise reduction are keys for a successful rewiring process. The Aneros massagers are designed to work untouched; follow that rule.

Sit back and just enjoy whatever bit of sensation you will get (however small it may be). Progress will come faster with your mind at ease, trust me.

I wish you both good vibes.

Hi Ggringo,

and thanks for your encouraging words, much appreciated!

As I already said in my other post, after I got rid of my first delusion that this is
a "plug and play" device, I'm not chasing and pushing for anything anymore. I just leave it to whateve and whenever happens. The only thing that bothers me is that I don't have the opportunity to practice very often, I can't even imagine having two quiet hours twice or three times a week when I could just lay and meditate and explore , and I think this waking-up and rewiring may take a bit longer.

Thank you all for the quick and informative responses. I guess I'll just keep at it. Just wondering, what should I make of the fact that I'm sensitive to stronger pressure/stimulation? That my body is receptive to prostate stimulation, just not at a lower intensity? I'm wondering how this has changed for people who experienced something similar. Thanks again!

You really should try to not worry about that. It won’t help. Just stick that thing up your butt, keep your and anybody else’s hands off it while it is in there, relax, pay attention, give it time, and keep trying. You’ll eventually be amazed. 

Wise suggestion from @Eli615 !

As the others have said, definitely keep at it without manipulating it or pushing on it. Instead of trying to make the sensations happen through external pressure, try mentally amplifying the micro sensations created by very slow, low-level contractions (10-60%). 

After saying "amplifying" and "micro" I just came up with an analogy (maybe someone else has used this here before?). It is like gain in sound engineering.  This sort of prostate play is like someone who sings really softly in the microphone. If you turn the gain really high, you will hear every detail of their voice, all the airiness and breath, including sounds their mouth makes. If suddenly they were to shout in the mic, it would be aggressive and loud, and deteriorate the sound. (If you don't know what gain is check out ASMR vids on youtube. They turn the gain up really high on their mics to capture low volumes sounds.)

So you want to turn up your gain for physical sensation. If you do, then simple acts such as touching your hand can go from being un-noteworthy or pleasant, to being enlightening and even orgasmic. But if you are just trying to raise the input volume (applying more pressure more directly) then you won't have access to all those micro-sensations. Just as when you sing loudly, you can no longer hear the breathiness or subtle sounds of the mouth.

Like you, I had experimented with prostate play before acquiring hands-free prostate stimulators. And it always felt good to go at it slightly harder.  When I started using my helix, I experimented like you with trying to create the sensation myself with increased pressure. That felt good, and it certainly felt better than feeling nothing, which is what I sometimes felt in the beginning. But in the end it worked best to lie there and amplify the small sensations through focusing on them.

Later down the road, when you have discovered how to have these wonderful orgasms, you can experiment with more or less pressure, with different toys, fingers, fists even.  But as a beginner I highly recommend just putting the toy in and trying out different positions and levels of clenching. And soon that unnoticeable sensation will morph into the most exquisite breed of orgasmic sensations you have ever known.

Wow, thank you all so much for the responses! I'm a little amazed at how much of a community there is around these products. You all have definitely motivated me to keep at it. I saw the list of milestones on the wiki, one of which is "No longer believing that 'this model doesn't fit me'". I guess this is all too common.

One other thing I've wondered about is wearing the helix during regular sex. I see it recommended to avoid penile stimulation when masturbating with the toy. Does this mean that wearing it during sex is likely to set me back in my solo progress? Thanks again! 

Posted by: @yumayuma

One other thing I've wondered about is wearing the helix during regular sex. I see it recommended to avoid penile stimulation when masturbating with the toy. Does this mean that wearing it during sex is likely to set me back in my solo progress? Thanks again! 

I would not recommend mixing prostate play with any penile play until you're fully rewired and able to fully control each events your body desires at that moment.  Just my opinion.

Enjoy your journey!

@user1234

I have the Helix Trident latest version, it sounds like you need to insert until the tabs touch your perineum and the tail bone area. I have found that lying flat on your back with your legs pulled up toward you and your feet flat is a very stimulating position for the Helix to hit the perfect spot! You really don't need to touch the Helix after it is inserted unless you want to adjust it to put center pressure on your perineum. The lighter the touch on your prostate really is total bliss!! And it will get you going to the point where you never stop until you are totally exhausted!!  Bryan

I understand your frustration.  Continue the journey if you are able to have ANY enjoyable feelings...forget about SOs...and enjoy the pleasures of anal and prostate stimulation...they come in several varieties, all worthy of your time.  When you least expect it you will be rewarded.

I thought that the tabs on the Helix didn't hit my spots either but recently I've come to understand that I was wrong.  It just takes time (more than I thought it would), and even if I think I'm relaxed, I'm learning that there were levels of relaxation I hadn't achieved yet.  I'm thinking the same is true for you too! 

I'm around the same point of experience. At each session and in between I'm coming to accept that this is an ongoing process, and rushing and expecting and distracting myself from myself, is unproductive. When I feel I'm not getting anywhere I just try to imagine myself back in 2018, laying there senseless, waiting for the magic to happen lol. It got a lot better, and it will continue...

Well, being in this learning and rewiring process for about three months now, and accepting all that goes with it, i.e. slowness, no expectations, letting it happen, no pushing and rush; as well as all the technical requirements for it, i.e relaxation, arousal, meditation... I came to one more dimension I'd really like to hear your views and opinions . Not sure if this has been discussed here yet, difficult to manage all the k's of posts on the forum, but here it is anyway. I hope it is not total rubbish.

The subjective elements and technicalities of prostate stimulation mentioned above are being discussed here at lenghth. My experience show, however, that there are also the objective factors that need to be taken into account during this path, and are driven by one's lifestyle. In other words: Aneros sessions take place in a real life, which sometimes, and with some of us, makes them very difficult to combine.  With a full life of activities and engagements many of us guys have hard time to find the recommenended 90 minutes 2-3 times a week of quiet solitude and privacy. And if we finally do every now or then, it is very difficult to tune in all other requirements into a session, no matter what.  The whole process is very subtle and with its slow learning process taking years, such sporadic exercies do not mean much. 

Can it be that, in spite of all the right reasons and things we do, for some of us it may simply not be the right time (yet)? Am I getting it totally wrong?

Or how did you cope with this, if at all?

Posted by: @user1234

Aneros sessions take place in a real life, which sometimes, and with some of us, makes them very difficult to combine.  With a full life of activities and engagements many of us guys have hard time to find the recommended 90 minutes 2-3 times a week of quiet solitude and privacy. And if we finally do every now or then, it is very difficult to tune in all other requirements into a session, no matter what.  The whole process is very subtle and with its slow learning process taking years, such sporadic exercises do not mean much. 

You've spoken a fundamental truth about our day to day realities. Life in its many manifestestions is all consuming and it is coping with all the competing demands for our personal resources and energy which poses the challenge of staying alive and surviving. The Aneros journey is subtle, sometimes exceedingly slow, but each step is meaningful in ways your ego consciousness may not yet undrstand.

Can it be that, in spite of all the right reasons and things we do, for some of us it may simply not be the right time (yet)? Am I getting it totally wrong?

NO, you are not totally wrong! For many men setting aside the requisite time alone is difficult, for some, perhaps even impossible. For some men their outer lives are simply too busy to accommodate the requisite quiet time. For other men, even if they have the time, they may be dealing with life obstacles which impede their advancement, please see Identifying Obstacles to Progress

Or how did you cope with this, if at all?

I began my practice at age 60, a time when my personal life was slowing down allowing me the luxury of the time to investigate some of the sensual interests I had foregone while working intently in my own life. I think what is required is for one to prioritize his interests, be willing and able to set aside the time to delve into this practice and tackle some of the obstacles which hold us back.

Since retiring, I have had the luxury of time to read, learn, grow my knowledge and practice many aspects of this sensual journey. I try to help other men accelerate their journey by sharing the information I have gleaned over the years for what this practice entails.

Good Vibes to You!