Comparing notes - new user waiting for MGX

I'm very happy to have discovered this forum. I'm 58 and in a (almost completely) sexless marriage. For a few years I would masturbate frequently (several times a day), but to ejaculation only once every few days. We took a Tantra class to see if we could get our sex life going. We were taught an exercise where in quiet, sitting meditation we were to tighten and release the PC muscle - basically a male Kegel. I did that for about 10 minutes every day for about three weeks. During that time I felt only one small erotic sensation. After feeling that I started "chasing" that sensation, and that was the end of it.

About 18 months ago I decided to give it another try. I started meditating every day for about 20 minutes. I decided to contract the muscles and relax with my breath and just pay attention and put aside any goals. I would lie on my back and give myself mental instructions similar to guided meditations I'd used. (Pay attention to the breath, relax, bring attention to your pelvis, etc.).

At first I felt nothing but the tightening and releasing of my PC muscle. Because it is a muscle, I thought it was reasonable to take a while to get it in shape. I noticed that I didn't have very good control of the muscle. It had two states: clenched and relaxed. After about a week of doing this I discovered that I could achieve three or four levels of contraction. Still no erotic sensation, but I was encouraged that I was gaining some control.

As the weeks went by I kept getting better at controlling the PC muscle. I began to experience some subtle erotic sensations. At first when I felt those sensations I would try to increase them, but whenever I did that they went away. I called this "chasing the feeling." I learned not to chase the feeling, just to pay attention.

Gradually, my control of the muscle became much greater. I was able to smoothly ramp up the contraction. I was also able to flex other areas in the region. I began to be able to "touch" spots that I visualized as my prostate that gave distinct erotic qualities. My sessions were inconsistent. One day it would be very good, the next might be next to nothing. Some days I couldn't find the erotic spot.

I continued my meditation and gave 30 minutes every day to it. (I think I may have missed two or three days in the last 18 months.) Very gradually I have become able to find the pleasurable spots immediately. I think of the muscles in that region as sort of like a tongue in the way it can flex. I have very good control of the muscle. I now "touch" the erotic spots with very gentle contractions of the muscle. This results in involuntary contractions that are very pleasant and seem to occur at a variety of "places."

I started my journey intending to be able to do hands free masturbation. I sought an erection and ejaculation. At first I occasionally achieved an erection and thought of that as success. Lately I almost never get erect. I have sensations very similar to an erection, and I have to check to see that I'm not erect. I've stopped seeking erection, and the experience keeps getting better.

Since ordering the MGX, I've imagined it inside me and how it will allow me to direct the pressure to the prostate. Just imagining that increases erotic sensation.

I have lots more that I'd like to share and compare with others on a similar journey. Visualization, imagination, erotica, etc.