clarity on the gay thing

Rika;

Thanks for posting your autobiographical take on gender and sexuality. It was very honest and enlightening. I hope you will continue to live your life openly and freely.

One day in the Aneros chat room, you mentioned that you were writing a story that had some of those themes. Given the depth of your experience, your family and friends, you might want to consider writing a Creative Non-Fiction novel, assuming that would not cause massive personal repercussions when published.

If you don't mind, please expand on one thing you touched upon: T-girls vs Shemales. Is it your understanding that the shemale thing is an entertainment industry phenomenon, not a genuine sexual sub-category? Self-created by effeminate gays for profit?

Best Regards,

Dave

Rika;

Thanks for posting your autobiographical take on gender and sexuality. It was very honest and enlightening. I hope you will continue to live your life openly and freely.

I am doing the best that I can in this regard. I doubt that I would ever publich anything non-fiction autobiographical anytime soon. I would like to write ficitional stories that highlight the difficulties of being a LGBT person in today's world. Many victories have been won in the community, but many more struggles persist. For example, I rarely tell my co-workers that I'm bisexual. I told one set of coworkers at a former store, I've transfered stores four times total all for positive reasons. I only mentioned it to that store really because there was a gay guy working there and I felt comfortable. Contrast that to any other place I've worked at. I've not been "out" and many don't even suspect me of being bi or anything. So, I hear all the snarky comments behind the backs of our gay customers. The first store I worked at, everytime a gay person would come in, after they left the murmurs would being suspecting whether that person was gay or not. At another store, we had many no doubt about it gay people. After they would leave, one of my co-workers, and friend all in all, said that he "fucking hates fags". This hurt me deeply and is part of the reason I don't "come out". I have a set of coworkers now I would really like to come out to, but don't for two reasons. One, the pharmacist I work with is a really cool guy, but I can tell he is uncomfortable with the idea of gay people. Although, it seems like he is genuinely trying, which is sorta why I wanna come out. Knowing someone gay or bisexual can ease a lot of fears. But, the other reason I don't come out is because it wouldn't enhance anything really. Nothing would be better because of my coming out. Although I would feel a sense of relief, it's not to a degree that would alter things much. I'm fine with the status quo really. However, I don't try to hide my interests either. Just no one has said anything. Now, in regards to crossdressing, that is a more guarded secret.

If you don't mind, please expand on one thing you touched upon: T-girls vs Shemales. Is it your understanding that the shemale thing is an entertainment industry phenomenon, not a genuine sexual sub-category? Self-created by effeminate gays for profit?

Best Regards,

Dave

To answer this question, let me ask you a question.

Imagine all your life you've just wanted to fit in and belong, but don't physically match the group your meant to be with. A man who is born a woman does not have the right parts. She is in essence already a freak of nature. However, women are beautiful and graceful creatures! They inspire art and even wars! Oh, there is power with women my friend. So, being in the wrong skin, it is easy to become insecure. How would you feel then knowing that those you want to impress or be with only want you because you have a penis? Many girls once they transform loose a ton of male attention because they lost the penis. It's the attraction to the unnatural. Shemale is a term that capitalizes on this phenomena. It's geared and marketed as a fetish. The term is not a polite one to t-girls. They often feel like they have something to prove to g-girls. On top of that, most have lost family, friends, and have faced ridicule most of thier life. The greatest thing I think a t-girl can be called is woman. I was very encouraing with my middle school friend. I used the name he gave himself as a woman. I refered to him as her. It was he who eventually corrected me. That's about all I know of the subject really. There are some great websites that promote understanding of t-girls and what it's all about. 🙂

Thank you for genuinely being interested and asking questions instead of making assumptions. I know I derailed the "bi-sexual" or being gay topic a little bit.

Darwin, if you get anything from my post, it's this.

You are who you are man. Pleasure is just pleasure. Attraction is attraction. It's that simple. If you're attracted to men, find them desirable to be around, want to sustain a serious relationship, want to enjoy the full company of a man, then I say that may require some further exploration. Be honest with yourself. If you find the stimulation from an Aneros device leading you down a path of question, fugghedaboutit! You're having great sensations from a product with that purpose in mind. Would a gay man think he's straight becuase a Fleshlight gives him orgasms? Just something to think about.

Rika;

I took your suggestion to research "Shemale" and got this, from Wikipedia:

Some have adopted the term as a self-descriptor but this is often in context of sex work.[11][23][38] Transsexual author Kate Bornstein wrote that a friend who self-identified as "she-male" described herself as "tits, big hair, lots of make-up, and a dick."[39] Sex researchers Mildred Brown and Chloe Rounsley said, "She-males are men, often involved in prostitution, pornography, or the adult entertainment business, who have undergone breast augmentation but have maintained their genitalia."[40] According to Professors Laura Castañeda and Shannon Campbell at the University of Southern California's Annenberg School of Journalism, "Using the term she-male for a transsexual woman would be considered highly offensive, for it implies that she is working 'in the [sex] trade.' It may be considered libelous."[2] Melissa Hope Ditmore, of the Trafficked Persons Rights Project, notes the term "is an invention of the sex industry, and most transwomen find the term abhorrent."[41] Biologist and transgender activist Julia Serano notes that it remains "derogatory or sensationalistic."[42] According to sex columnist Regina Lynn, "Porn marketers use 'she-male' for a very specific purpose — to sell porn to straight guys without triggering their homophobia — that has nothing to do with actual transgendered people (or helping men overcome their homophobia, either)."[43] According to sex columnist Sasha, "The term shemale is used in this setting to denote a fetishized sexual persona and is not typically used by transgendered women outside of sex work. Many transgendered women are offended by this categorization and call themselves T-girls or trans."[44]

Basically, that's what you said, a bit more politely.

My conclusion is that "Shemales" are gay guys exploiting the sexual fantasies of straight men.

Best Regards,

Dave