Can't get over the edge

I've been at it for about 18 months and I am still circling the drain myself. I certainly wouldn't define any of the feelings I have had as an orgasm, but the feelings are amazing, so even if this is as good as it gets, I will still be at it on a consistent basis.

As for getting over the edge, I have no idea, and it seems that no one else does either. It appears to either happen or not happen and is different for each person.

Let the Aneros do the driving, empty your mind, Think of good things or times that have happened or just let your mind wander, feel a twitch don't respond, think around it, let it build, let it happen DON'T try to take control! Enjoy the ride!

"I always seem to get to this point where I almost get there, but everything cramps up and I stop breathing, it feels like this should be it but there never is any sense of release or orgasm in any way significant."

Is this a full-body "cramp"? If so, you may have achived what you are seeking. It sounds very close to my own experiences and similar to what others describe. I do not feel any sense of release either and this had me confused for a long time. I don't belive I've had Dry-Os either. You may have been trapped into thinking a Super-O is much, much more. It's easy to do if you have been reading the forums a lot.

For me, a typical Super-O starts with a "feeling" that it is about to happen, buzzing, pwaves, and then a pronounced vibration (not shakes) in my pelvic area leading to a point of no return, followed by full-body "cramps" or muscle contractions and arching of my back. I also stop breathing, sometimes longer than I think I could normally hold my breath. The event can be short or last minutes. Other variants build up slowly rather than hit hard. Remembering to breath can help prolong the event. And, it all seems to change over time.

Sound similar?

I hope @rumel chimes in. He wrote me a similar response a few months ago.

Xileh

@Xileh and @donniebrasco Yes Xileh that has been my experience too and it only started happening the other day. This morning I had three more so called super Os togeather with the body wanting to cramp up.That makes 6 super Os all up that I have identified but I suspect I have had more.
I also during sessions want to stretch my body as I am getting that orgasmic build up. Like stretching when you getup from sleeping, it feel just great. The vibration you talk about I have experienced too but it has gone further a couple of times and become full on shaking. I have not a fit yet like the others you see in the videos.
I have noticed that after a super O my penis lets out a few extra drops of precum but it actually feels like I am leaking a lot of semen. When my body cramps up everything does even my aneros gets sucked in so hard I am afraid it will snap the p-tab arm off 🙂
I have only had a feeling of release once out of 6 times. The first time (calm seas type) Note there has never been free flowing precum like described in the forums but sometimes there is more than other times. I suspect there will be more when I get the progasm Ice and get to a super O. It will put more pressure in the gland. I have experienced many dry O along the way my super O experience.
Nipple stimulation did nothing for me for a long time but then al of a sudden they became rewired and then it was amazing the difference in arousal. What I do to my nipple is emulated on and around my balls without going anywhere near them. I used supple nips only a few times which made all the difference. They were only home made ones too but rewired them.
My super Os while they are nice are not extremely pleasurable yet but with time they will build in intencity I am sure.
I have had the feeling of being on the edge for a very long time, all you can do is just keep going n your ride until it just happens by its self.
Since my first super os I have had 4 sessions before my next lot have happened.
Patience is the only words of wisdom I can really offer besides dont actively try to engage the massage you have to just let it go.
I understand that when you see JUST LET IT GO that might frustrate you as it did me but when you master it you will understand it, until then it just pisses you off!
Keep practicing.
Regards
Braveneworld

donniebrasco,

"I'm trying to find out what I can do to get over the edge." similar statements have been made by many newbies over the years because they are still thinking in terms of the traditional penile based ejaculatory orgasm. With a traditional ejaculatory orgasm there is usually an attempt to control/influence the Point Of No Return (PONR) also known as 'the edge' and this can be accomplished though self discipline and training. But....

The journey toward a Super-O and prostate based orgasms is a different path and requires a different mind set, a paradigm shift in thinking about what constitutes an orgasm. IMHO,
There is NO 'edge'

for one to suddenly fall over. Your body's orgasmic potential is a continuum of sensations without distinct markers or divisions separating aspects of the experience.

With the traditional penile based ejaculatory orgasm there is a distinctive onset of involuntary ejaculatory spasms, this does NOT occur with the Super-O or most prostate based orgasms. By definition, the Super-O is a NON-ejaculatory event with a great variety of potential associated sensations. It is unfortunate that many newbies do not grasp the concept of the Super-O and prostate based orgasms more readily, as such they are proceeding under a misinterpretation that a Super-O or most any prostate orgasm is like a hyper intense traditional ejaculatory orgasm, but it isn't!

A frequent quip about the Super-O is "...you'll know it when you get there..." but actually for many men, you will only know it after you've had time to process the experience. If you dismiss sensations which do not correspond to your traditional ejaculatory experience you may miss your Super-O or prostate orgasms altogether. It is important to stop thinking about your arousal and sensations in the context of traditional penile stimulation. Prostate stimulation and prostate based orgasms are different so doesn't it make sense to think about them differently?

I think @sskerr, @Xileh & @braveneworld have offered you good council. I will add, IMHO, the journey toward the Super-O can not be rushed or coerced to occur through added intense stimulation like you can 'push through' a traditional orgasm. It is my opinion the best way to the Super-O zone is through a relaxed, unhurried, non-goal oriented approach in which you allow your body sensations to lead the way.
Good Vibes to You !

It's hard to add much to such good counsel. This issue -- that it feels like something more should be coming, or that one is circling the drain and never quite gets to the destination -- comes up so frequently. I believe @rumel nails it in saying "There is NO 'edge'".

I think you've gotten there! I think many men on this forum are having Super-O's, in the physical sense of what your body is doing. That's all part of the rewiring. But that isn't the end of the story. The real pleasure you can derive from a Super-O only begins there. It's one thing to have an orgasm, and another to learn to enjoy it.

Just as in the case of a penile ejaculatory orgasm, there are factors that influence how good it feels. I will sometimes find myself having these quick, spiky, crampy waves during a session. That's almost always a sign, in my case, that I'm tensing up. If I can relax everything in my pelvis area and especially my lower stomach muscles, I can usually ride that same wave into a prolonged feeling of greater pleasure.

For me, it seems that tenseness/tension is what discourages the pleasurable qualities of the dry orgasm. Relaxation is the key. As many other members here have discussed, when you feel the contractions or waves beginning, it is very easy to get tense and clamp down, thereby interrupting the pleasure process.

I continue to use relaxation techniques throughout my entire session. I seldom do any voluntary contractions because I find that even when I think I'm totally relaxed, I'm still holding a bit of a contraction. So I try to relax even more.

I believe my body was having the physiological signs of dry orgasms long before I realized it. The real exploration began when I started noticing these sensations as pleasurable. I may focus on my prostate one moment, my balls in another moment, my anus next, always surveying which part is having the most fun. Then I imagine a sort of mesh that connects it all, and I try to spread the glow and pleasure throughout.

Regarding the question posed by @donniebrasco about penile stimulation, my own experience is that I have had some success having a tremendous dry orgasm using this technique, but have never ever been able to stop there. Within a few more seconds I just have to cum. It's like two orgasms in one. It's very good, but then the show is over, folks.

"But actually for many men, you will only know it after you've had time to process the experience".

This should be put on a bronze plaque and bolted to the first page of the forum. I totally agree.

Per the discussion about the Point Of No Return; I definately feel PONR during Super-O. I have even tried to breath my way through it to see what would happen and have not yet succeeded. Do others experiance this? I will say it is different than a traditional O PONR. It tends to build slowly, with higher intensity. Once it starts, I can't seem to influence it much.

This has been a good discussion, it is interesting how questions like this can create such good content.

Xileh

I think that all of the advice to date has been great. It really seems to 'ring a bell' with me and has allowed me to reflect on past sessions. I too, as I suspect many are, are guilty of expecting a definitive point associated with a traditional penile orgasm. When I think back, I believe I've denied myself the pleasure and enjoyment of the moment because I've always been searching for that elusive 'edge' that perhaps doesn't exist.

I've decided to try and enjoy each session for what they are and to truly 'go along for the ride' .

This is an incredibly valuable strand for me from some very wise guys. I feel that the contribution of Rumel and other experienced hands on the same theme has been a liberation for me. Like @donniebrasco I have wanted some kind of resolution and was searching for the trigger to "take me over the edge" (exactly my thoughts to myself) and felt that I have not experienced the super o. @rumel says that after we have time to process what may have been experienced is the real assessment and I now think I may once have had a super o. Although I keep telling myself I have no expectations I think that subconsciously there is that lingering desire for the event and a hope to find the trigger. THERE IS NO EDGE releases me to enjoy and appreciate what I experience and be delighted and grateful because I do enjoy loads of new sensations every session.I am so glad to have found this wonderful community with such wisdom and care for others.
Taffy

I am constantly inspired by this forum, and the comments from other contributors. THERE IS NO EDGE, has been ringing in my ears for a while, along with a whole lot of other ousted incorrect assumptions I had made over many years about sex and sexuality. For instance, at a very basic level, it was an assumption based on lack of experience, that ejaculation and orgasm always go together. However, I now know from my aneros and Taoist-inspired activities that they are definitely separate events. I now know that whilst orgasm can occur without ejaculation, the opposite is also true, and several men I have quizzed recently have come to realise that what they took for an orgasm at ejaculation was only an ejaculation without an orgasm. It has been a revelation to them, originally resulting in a temporary downer, but then the opposite as they felt they understood themselves better as a result of this knowledge, and stood a chance of doing something about it.

Just as orgasm and ejaculation can be separate events, I then discover that erections, and orgasm and arousal, can be separate events, and that the inclusion of one's ego in the process, hinders rather than promotes the desired outcome. The world just seems to be getting stranger, BUT I am revelling in the knew-found flexibility of all of this, as opposed to the regimented formality of the processes that I thought were occurring before.


Whilst there is AN EDGE for most pre-rewired wet ejaculations/orgasms, there is now the exciting possibility that sex itself can now have all manner of gradations of unexpected pleasure. I for one, now get frequent p-waves and dry orgasms during sex, and this has made me even less concerned about THE EDGE (the wet orgasm edge), except to avoid going over it too soon. In my aneros activities, reflection on what has happened after the event, has made me aware that I can't really pin down what the pleasure I am feeling is called, but I stick to words such as dry orgasm and p-waves as a means of communicating something in this world.


There is no edge, and there are very few words to describe the enormous range of experiences we are having. Going forward with an open mind, and avoiding the arrogance of ones ego, makes this a pleasure ground ride "extraordinaire".

If there is no edge, how is one to know if there is orgasm?

I know when I have a traditional orgasm. If I were to have a"super orgasm" I would expect to realize it. Lately I have been wondering if the feelings I have during sessions are "dry O's, mini O's, super O's" but then I think WTF, how could I possibly have an orgasm and not realize it? Surely if I am having an orgasm, I would know.

I've had p-waves, full body shakes, uncontrollable contractions of my rectum and penis, but the pleasure is no where near what the pleasure is during actual orgasm. So, if these feelings are actual orgasms they are not super because they don't feel as good as a traditional orgasm.

Now, don't get me wrong. I enjoy my aneros greatly, but as to whether I have had an actual orgasm, anally, red tally, prostate, mini, dry or super; I would say no.

"If there is no edge, how is one to know if there is orgasm?"

This is one of the problems we have in coming to terms with what is happening to us. In most men's non-ejaculatory experiences, one doesn't seem to have the luxury of pinning down what is happening in absolute terms, since on a continuum of experiences, there is nowhere more prominent than another on which to hang these words/concepts. Added to that, we are also individuals, and not only is our journey specific to us, but it is not easy (perhaps not even possible) to explain exactly how it feels for another. This is why Rumel says that it is only after a period of reflection that what is happening appears to slot into place. Even then, compared to someone else's experiences, one man's "super-O" might be another's "dry-O" for instance, it is just not possible to set definitive criteria for what makes a dry-O, or a super-O, or whatever.


I have said elsewhere, that some guys may make dramatic progress - forwards, then backwards and forwards again, and to these the process would not APPEAR to be a continuum, but well-spaced categories such as dry-Os, super-Os etc. This STILL doesn't mean that all people will experience this in the same way, and if you are a slow slogger along the continuum route, as I am, then it will make no sense whatsoever. This doesn't invalidate their experiences though, if they are having what they consider orgasms, then they probably are. The converse is not true though - if you don't think you've had an orgasm, then it doesn't mean you definitely haven't, but it could mean you just haven't recognised it yet.


This is what I meant about this journey throwing up in the air, preconceived notions about sex and sexuality. All of the things we took for granted, now don't seem quite so certain any more. I personally love that, but some may find the lack of "concreteness" somewhat disconcerting.


"So, if these feelings are actual orgasms they are not super because they don't feel as good as a traditional orgasm".


This is one definition of a Super-O, although I am sure there are many more. We will never have complete agreement on this - it is perhaps best not to try to define it so tightly, in advance of you recognising that it has happened.

As an example of what is happening here - people generally know what light and dark are. However, as daylight decreases, light levels fade inexorably into the dark. Different people will say that light becomes dark at different places in the decline of light levels, and that is based on their perception, and their pre-existing experiences, and those in turn might also be affected by different biological receptiveness to light levels - some peoples eyes and brains will see light, where others see dark.


Good luck on this journey guys. It may often be confusing, but it is one hell of a ride.

I'm gonna throw my two cents in here 😉 I think ,like others have said before me, everyone is getting hung up on these terms, super, dry, etc., to describe an orgasm. One man's super O, could be another mans dry O, and that dry O could be someones interpretation of P-wave. The point is they are all pleasureable, so I guess why worry what its called. Just enjoy the ride LOL. Also, I, like many among us was foolishly thinking a super O was gonna knock my socks off. But that was only cause I was comparing it to a tradional orgasm. And who knows, maybe one day I will have a super O that does knock my socks off, i hope anyways, but my point is that was my expectation, and when I finally did starting having prostate orgasms, I realized there was plenty of pleasureable feelings i had been having for a long time that I didnt recognize or enjoy because of my erroneous expectations. I think once you recognize those feelings and learn to just enjoy them, then the sky is the limit to how much pleasure you can enjoy.