Beginner Experience

I’ve been lurking for about 1 year. I became interested in prostrate massage when I found my wife’s g-spot for her. It created such intense orgasms for her that it left me jealous. I heard about the p-spot and started to research. I bought the Helix Syn about 7 months ago. I’ve fallen into the habit of having my sessions 2-3 hours before I need to wake up in the morning. (I don’t set an alarm, I just have a session if I wake up and feel the desire — which is most mornings.) I can get to a first plateau of pleasure within 30 minutes and then repeat it for 3 or 4 times, usually with increasing intensity. I feel terrific energy for hours afterwords. My only concern (honestly) is addiction.

Many of the posts about beginner experiences were helpful for me. To pay it forward, here is what helped me the most:

1. Dropping expectations and experiencing whatever comes. The feelings of pleasure from massaging the prostate are very different than stimulating the penis. Even though both are “sexual”, they don’t feel the same (more on rewiring later). One of the hardest things for me to do was to stop looking for the same experience. In fact, I had what people call a Super-O for a while before I realized it. The orgasm from the prostate is so different that I just didn’t associate it. (I was looking for a “release” that didn’t come — more on that later.) In one post, someone refused to use the term Super-O altogether and that helped me a great deal. Once I stopped looking for a certain experience and second guessing whether I was having it, I was able to get all of them: Super-Os, Dry-Os, anal orgasms. I just needed to let them be what they are and only think about it or read up on it later.

2. From all of my reading, I think I’ve had an a-typical relationship with the uncontrollable shaking. In one of my earliest sessions (within the first month), I had some intense shaking. But, then it subsided and nothing particularly interesting (or pleasurable) happened afterwards.

I didn’t really like the shaking. First, while very interesting, it doesn’t particularly feel good in and of itself. Also, during the shaking I feel disconnected from reality. A few times, I’ve experienced hallucinations at this stage. (Again, very interesting, but not particular pleasurable.) Second, I started to do the sessions at night while my wife is sleeping and I don’t want to shake around like I’m having a seizure.

As I practiced more, when it felt like shaking would start (or even just before that), I avoided it by consciously taking control and further relaxing. I would start focusing more on the prostate and relax (to me, the prostate feels like a cold or hot point that I can almost “touch” with the right contractions). By focusing and relaxing, I find that I have the right tension to keep things moving along and this warded off the shaking.

What happened in my case is that I would find myself in a state of bliss not long after the shaking would have started. It took me time to realize that what I was experiencing is the orgasm. I would describe it as the most peaceful and pleasurable sensations that take over the whole body. They transfix me — I’m in complete relaxation, yet full of energy and pleasure. I can’t (or don’t want to?) move. I would say also that they come along with sensation that my body is just floating.

After some practice (about 4 months, I would say), I was able to get these to come regularly and reliably (about 30 minutes to the first pleasure state). Most recently, I went back to invoke the shaking to see what happens. Now I see that after the shaking I get to a similar experience of pleasure. With the shaking I think there may have been more intensity to it, but what I can achieve without the shaking is much longer lasting. Now I’m trying to find a balance to get the best of both. 🙂

In any case, what this showed me is that as the pleasure experience becomes more intense and longer (however you get to it) it it feels like what people describe as a “Super-O.” But, the range is so wide that the term is really not helpful. If it felt good is it only an “O”? But when it’s amazing, it’s a “Super-O”? Where is the cut-off? I think it’s better to just think about a “pleasure state” which is more or less intense and sometimes shorter and sometimes longer.

Last night, I had one that I would say was truly mind blowing. I felt pleasure literarily from head to toe. Time and space was suspended for me. It was like the best moment of a traditional orgasm (just before ejaculation), but amplified a 100 or 1,000 times in both intensity and duration.

3. Another important mind shift for me is in how the energy builds and dissipates with the prostate massage. For a long time, I was looking for a “release” from the pleasure state, but that’s not what happens. It continues for as long as I can hold it — which is counted in minutes (it must be less than 30 because that’s when the plateau ends), but it feels like hours. Then it reduces and dissipates. I find when this happens that it leaves me with a “glow” of energy that stays with me for hours. I also can sometimes invoke a dry orgasm or an anal orgasm to help come off the pleasure state, but not always. This is a good example of just enjoying whichever or whatever comes.

4. My first few experiences with the Helix were poor. I almost gave up. I had a lot of trouble understanding what is meant by the contractions of different kinds. I was also trying them and then wondering whether I was doing it right. (I was also looking at the recipe for Super-O and scoring myself on where I was.) Aside from dropping the expectations, the two things that most pulled me to the next step were: (a) try lying on your side, and (b) try doing absolutely nothing. For (a), the right side is more intense than the left. This is what most people report, and none of us know why this is. Now, I start on the left and then move to the right when I need a change. (I can get to higher intensity pleasure states once I’m warmed up and this is magnified on the right side.) For (b), what I realize in retrospect was that I was completely tense and not relaxed. It took many sessions to recognize this tension and bring myself into a relax state so that the massager can start to work. There are quite a lot of muscles down there and all of them need to relax as the place to start.

5. Rewiring is quite the interesting experience. I now feel sexual desire by default in my prostate. I’m aroused by the same things, but I feel it physically in a different place in a slightly different way. It’s also at every level of consciousness. If I’m aroused in a dream, I wake up to muscle contractions that are trying to stimulate the prostate!

6. All of the articles say that you can’t have too much lube. I would add more and more lube (even inserting twice to add more lube) to live up these instructions, but this wasn’t actually helping. (In fact, it can hurt because the lube leaks out and the external tabs don’t stimulate as well with less friction.) Now, I look to use a minimum and the sessions are better.

7. Finally, with the prostate, the experience is definitely much more in the mind. In this way, I’m reminded of my original goal of feeling more what it’s like to have a female g-spot orgasm. You can feel pretty much the same pleasure in stimulating the penis once it gets started regardless of what you are thinking. But, with the prostate the intensity of the pleasure sensations is directly related to how much I’m aroused. On this, I’ve found something interesting which is different than many posts. The most intense sessions happen when I’m thinking the whole time about a sexual fantasy of my own creation. This is so much the case, that I don’t find any need or desire to watch porn. That would help with initial arousal but wouldn’t keep me going through a whole session.