Back again

I used to post here regularly around 10 years ago. My username was previously Smudgefish, apparently because I haven't logged in for years my old account has been deleted and I can't access it. Never mind.

I gave up using any aneros device many years ago due to total frustration. My original experience was that I went straight to full body orgasms on my third session with rapidly increasing pleasure, super-O's, orgasm on demand and some almost out of body euphoric experiences on subsequent sessions. It all came crashing down a few weeks later when I went through the most terrifying few days/weeks of my life when I experienced a Kundalini Syndrome. After that the best I could achieve were some basic rather dull pelvic orgasms, and a feeling of loss like withdrawing from a powerful drug, eventually I gave up in total frustration. Subsequently got divorced life is now totally different.

I have come back to this with a clean slate and tried to start from scratch, using my Helix Syn Trident, or Progasm. Again I'm getting very limited pelvic sensations, having said that they are incredibly enjoyable above the level of pleasure I get from a normal ejaculatory orgasm, but I'm not even sure it's really an orgasm, no involuntary contractions, and no feeling of my body taking over or any loss of control. It's all a bit confusing, I'm definitely not over thinking it during a session, just enjoying what I get, but it is a bit odd.

I've never experienced what I can identify as a P wave ever, even 10 years ago. All the standard milestones seem a bit foreign to me.

In addition I have serious problems relaxing. I remember that was the case even right at the start yet I managed some incredible experiences. Every time I relax the feeling just vanishes, after an hour like that I have to give up, but add in some tension and off I go again. What's going on there?

Going to keep going. I would love to feel something orgasmic somewhere else in my body. I distinctly remember the very last time that ever happened 10 years ago when I had an orgasm in my right arm. I remember just concentrating on an area and bam! I would have an orgasm there, certainly that doesn't work any more. I also remember everything used to start with a small orgasmic electric shocks in my pubic area, keeping looking for that but nothing. Trying to be patient maybe it will just happen one day when I least expect it. Having said that I know expectation kills everything so try to be aware of that!

Any comments or suggestions gratefully accepted.