Another Newbie (50yo). Months later..journey continues....

I'll read all of that "Just Let it Go" as soon as I can!!  Many thanks!

Seems like me trying to take control of the situation is like pushing a snake from the tail.  I am going to listen to the concensus and advice and just let it happen when it's ready.  Worst case I fall asleep.  🙂

Posted by: @helghast

All of the posts and advice here plus mindgasm and Allie are pieces of a puzzle that each guy must fit together himself. Each piece must be played with,tweaked and experimented on and shaped into what works for you. Everyone shares their tips in the hope it causes a small piece to click into place for you.

Yup.  The sharing's sincere.  (Of course tip "X" is valuable- it worked for me- I must share it for brother)

Posted by: @rumel

never had a hands free ejaculatory orgasm

To his 15, I am but 1 year, but same remark.  @hankey01, respectfully I'm intoning, you're thrashing through a haystack, eyes pattern-matching for a needle.  But it is not a needle, it is a stick of uncooked spaghetti no one told you about!  Likewise, no one may be sure what it is they're trying to find at first.  But it is most likely not what they are used to.  To find something unlike what you usually have, means you have to do something you do not ordinarily do.  And that something is to quiet yourself to boost your sensitivity of the interior world, and listen for anything, while content with silence sometimes.

Posted by: @hankey01

need some moral support

You can do it!

Posted by: @hankey01

I realize I should have just stopped after 30 minutes of nothing.  I did get some pleasure from it. 

 Theres no set rules, if your rec. pleasure, by all means continue. I am taking the challenge this time around, if things start to ramp up, then I have a session. I'm actually enjoying it so far, as a do nothinger, its opening up some new doors. 

Posted by: @helical

You can do it!

Thanks!!!!  🙂

Posted by: @tbob

its opening up some new doors

Great to hear it!!!  

I had a pretty good session last night.  It was my one night every 2 weeks I have alone so I was excited to commit.

Started with 2 Mindgasm lessons to warm up.  I was definitely quivering and feeling nice at that sweet spot so I know my Mindgasm "skills" are getting a bit better and feelings are awakening.  Any involuntariness seem to originate form my lower stomach though..which gets sore.

I then put in my Progasm and did the "do nothing" technique I promised myself (and you great people) I would give a fair chance.  As with some previous sessions things started happening on their own...shaking twitching.  I am sure I went through many P Waves.  I feel like these are moments of buildup where you feel you are approaching orgasm..then they subside.  I was feeling the odd ping of different feelings and I started moaning a bit since I was home alone.  Not involuntary moaning but it seemed to help me commit to the feelings.  A few tweaks to my "go to" position and it was odd how the sensation seemed to move to new spots inside.  I woudl lay my head left and feel it on the left.  Lay my head right and feel it on the right.  So odd.  All in my head obviously.

Maybe an hour or hour and a half into it I had a good one!  It wasn't an over the top "I saw lights and was swept away by the overwhelming feelings" wave but it felt really good.  I was sooooooooo close to orgasm.  SOOO CLOSE!  My body was shaking and quivering as I was JUST about to cum!  Then it subsided.  I spent the next hour and half trying to chase that.  I tried a few other positions as well and came very close a couple of times but that was all. I know..you can't chase it.

Still a very enjoyable session/evening.  Including the mindgasm I spent about 4 hours!!  I couldn't believe how long people spend in their sessions but it really is tough to just stop when it feels good and you feel you are close to more.  Like gambling...just...so...close...

I was so close to my first HFO.  I do believe now it is possible and I will get there!  SOMEDAY!  I wondered again...am I just defining it wrong?  Being soooo close to orgasm is like edging.  To me edging is only fun when you get the eventual payoff.   To me an orgasm is the wave of euphoria and pleasure that comes after the buildup.  Hitting nearly the peak of buildup..feels very very good but is a lot like torture when you don't get that peak.  I was SOOOO close!  I guess P Waves just end when they end no matter what.  If that one P Wave was 5 seconds longer I am sure I would have exploded (maybe dry..I have no idea).

As for the "do nothing"...I am still a bit confused what that means.  I just focus on the pleasure and my body starts moving around to enjoy that feeling.  I do not get involuntary PC muscle contractions, or sphincter contractions but I am not consciously working the Aneros.  My body is in control..not my mind..shaking me all over..hip grinding.  At one point I tried to resist the body shaking to see if I coudl get just the source to shake.  It was a series of slow quivers that DRILL into me every few seconds.  Felt good.  I admit by the end of the session I was manipulating it myself.  I ended up in a doggy style position and just rocking my hips was doing it for me..but that was me i control.

Sorry for the long post.  I did really enjoy my session last night.  So crazy the time we spend on this!

The trick is to just roll with,try not to think youre nearly there,that your so close,and anything other looking ahead. You’ll get there eventually. 

Posted by: @helghast

The trick is to just roll with,try not to think youre nearly there,that your so close,and anything other looking ahead. You’ll get there eventually. 

Thanks man!  Either way it sure felt good.  🙂

Posted by: @helghast

The trick is to just roll with,try not to think youre nearly there,that your so close,and anything other looking ahead. You’ll get there eventually. 

  Good advice. Try to focus all that energy into your prostate, focus solely on your prostate and your sphincter. The penis is so used to being star of the show. Ya kinda have to tell your penis to fuck off, its prostys' time.  In time the pleasure grrows on what you set your mind to, and spreads out from there.

@tbob for sure!   For 12 days I've been making that prostate the star (and only player).  I do catch myself trying to focus just on the feelings on the prostate.  Then I start thinking about how I'm focused on that..stupid brain!  Anyone try ritalin for a session?  😉

@hankey01  I hope I got you right, just because your not touching  your dick doesn't neccesarily mean your focusing on your prostate. No offense just making sure you understand that. One thing I didn't realize was that a prostate orgasm is so much different than a TO. For me the nerves go off , and the contractions may or may not be there.Not as intense for me yet, but it lasts for minutes on end. Theres also anal orgasms or sphincter Os, which for me can be most enjoy able and the easiest to produce, feels like the tip of a finger or a tongue resting on the opening. When its intense I could rock that O my entire session, Fortunetly or unfortunetly my sphincter is directly connected to my dick, moreso than my prostate. How can you know your near something if youv'e never been there?

 Don't let yourself get frustrated, cause thats all we focus on in the heat of the moment.

@tbob I am focusing on my prostate for sure.  The only sensation I get from my dick is when it gets hard I feel the weight of it and the dripping.  🙂  Sometimes the prostate feeling seems to link to the very tip of my penis for a moment.

I am jealous of the types of orgasms you can experience!  Hopefully I get there! 

Posted by: @tbob

How can you know your near something if youv'e never been there?

Very good point.  What I am feeling is the rush and escalation of a TO..but placed inside me.  I desperately want it climax and release!  I may be headed towards a TO, not a PO..but man I'd take anything!

Posted by: @tbob

feels like the tip of a finger or a tongue resting on the opening.

I may have to visualize that!!  Mmm.  I haven't had much sphincter sensation but do occasionally get a sensation from the P Tab and the prostate.  Feels like I am behind held with a thumb on the prostate and fingers on the and finger on the perenuem and squeezed.  I'm getting prostate tingles typing this. 😉

@hankey01 

Please don't fall into the trap of mental "competition" with the others on here who have great sessions. You can only experience your own body and your own orgasms. Are mine more intense than yours? Who knows and who cares! You will enjoy your own sessions in your own ways. Sometimes things go into the stratosphere and sometimes they don't go higher than the ceiling. No matter  - it's an individual journey that each of us experience for ourselves and we cheer each other on and give helpful tips to newbies when we can. Ultimately, we want every guy to know the ecstasy we have experienced. Again, stop the overthinking, relax and enjoy the journey. Stop, as it were, and smell every rose on your aneros path and the ecstasy will find you. 

@pablito1963 thank you so much for the kind encouragement.  I truly love being part of this forum as strange as it is. A group of like-minded open-minded people who are experiencing something a lot of people won't try.  

To do this on your own without the forums and experience of others would be pointless. Most people would just give up. That's why this is so effective to learn from others and have people tell me what ridiculous mistakes I've made.

I've did a pretty ridiculous thing but it makes a lot of sense to me.  Decided I need to get at least one more Aneros so I have some variety.  They're quite expensive for me and my budget is small but I wanted to know which one would feel right to me.  It's not like you can rent them or borrow them to try so I had to be creative   The only way to do that is to try so I went to the trouble of making euros, MGX and helix. My euros failed but I learned from that and made stronger versions of the MGX and helix.   With a wire inside and made in 2 halves with magic sculpt I now have a rough approximation of a helix and MGX.   I took images from the website and the dimensions I made a scale printout and then use the magic sculpt to make it on the paper.  

I can't wait to hear the comments but don't worry I'm not a total idiot. I realize even though they're similar shape they won't be exactly the same experience. They are quite heavy and solid though  Also I know how unsafe it is so I put them in a latex glove which fit around it nicely.  If it fell apart I could just pull it out no problem.  I'm happy to say I did a 30-minute session with each and they both worked terrific. But they both had me close to orgasm as well so I really can't decide.  Seems like the helix pokes at the right spot very well and feels good but the mgx seems to cradle the prostate and put pressure on it that feels really good. I think for a different experience from the progasm I might get the MGX but I'll do a couple sessions and see which one I favor more. 

Here they are next to my Progasm. My god I can't wait for the comments!  😉

Posted by: @hankey01

I truly love being part of this forum as strange as it is.

"One of us!, one of us!"  Good similarity between your version and an actual MGX.

• @helical thank you my friend. Really enjoy the community here.
•  
• I know it's ridiculous but I just want a little bit of a sense of which one I should invest in. Obviously these are temporary.  ;). They both felt pretty damn good. Maybe I'm just learning to feel good no matter what I stick in there ;-).   What do you recommend? Helix or MGX? 

@hankey01 

I've done similar. As long as you're smart about what you are doing, I think it's all good. I mainly focus on external (non-insertable) parts since there is then zero safety issue. The main thing I would worry about with epoxy is that the cure is not quite 100% done until several days, so you can still have some active chemicals in there. Otherwise, I think your models are quite good, maybe a bit bulkier than their "real life" counterparts. 

@hankey01, belief in effectiveness and possibilities is important to these practices.  So get the one your gut (butt) tells you to, and don’t second-guess, including when you use the future toy. Your words seem to favor the MGX- so go with that one.  Both models are great for me. 

Posted by: @hankey01

Maybe I'm just learning to feel good no matter what I stick in there 😉

Yes, you may find that over time, too.

Why not just buy the different models over time? The price is low for what you get in return.

Posted by: @zentai

The main thing I would worry about with epoxy is that the cure is not quite 100% done until several days, so you can still have some active chemicals in there. Otherwise, I think your models are quite

That's the beauty of the latex glove. 3 fingers pull nicely over it and I'm not exposed to the toy at all. Easy cleanup after too. 😉

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one!   I found 3d models I could print but no way to hide that from family and they wouldn't have the weight.

Posted by: @helical

Your words seem to favor the MGX- so go with that one.  Both models are great for me. 

:). It does feel quite different and cradles and puts on pressure that is nice.  I think you are correct... I think I like that one.  

Ill be watching black Friday sales but there aren't many options in Canada. 

@helghast if I can get those rewards I surely will. Just want to make the right decision for my short term pleasure. 🙂

I pulled the trigger and ordered the MGX.  It was on sale and I got another 30% off for a Black Friday sale.  Ended up paying $66 CAD including shipping. Seems like a good price.

Sessions are still hit or miss but I'm feeling less pressure on myself to "get there" even though I want an orgasm badly.  2 nights ago things were feeling really good..felt close a few times.  Last night...not much at all.  The only difference may be lube?  I used vasaline in the better session and Doc Johnson Anal Jelly last night.  Both seem to lubricate well so I think it was just an off night for me.  I felt more sensation doing the Mindgasm "Top' muscle introduction.  :/

Posted by: @hankey01

even though I want an orgasm badly.

This could be a huge stumbling block to achieve your goal.  In this game, expectations often turn into disappointments. 

BTW, I think you'll enjoy the MGX; it's a great unit!

@ggringo I am accepting that pleasure is still pleasure and always enjoy the sessions. I try to focus on that.   Of course I'm hoping for more.   Considering I've felt very close .. at least I know I'll get there someday.

Posted by: @ggringo

BTW, I think you'll enjoy the MGX; it's a great unit!

Can't wait! 

Posted by: @hankey01

Sorry for yet another newbie post.  I have read through a lot of posts here and I do have a couple questions.

I started this journey watching after seeing a HFO without stimulation video and I wanted to try it.  I tried a few times with no luck and ended up jerking myself off.  I don't think I can get into that state of mind where I can cum by thoughts alone.  After reading online it seemed the consensus for a HFO was to use an Aneros.  I debated cheaper options (tried what I had already for prostate stimulation) but finally took the plunge. I found a slightly better price for a Progasm Classic...debated that or the Helix.  Maybe I should have started with the Helix but I have some of practice with anal play (vibrator, dildo, boyfriend..) so I was confident I could handle the Progasm with little trouble.

When my progasm arrived it was actually smaller than I expected.  I was eager to try it out but had to wait for my teenage kids to be in bed so I could have some privacy (in the meantime I used my bidet to clean up).  Finally they were settled so I went to bed and tried it out.  I used some Doc Johnson Anal Jelly and I had no trouble getting it in and it felt good in place.  Laying naked on my back I tried to follow the recommended time to let my body get used to it, then slow squeezes with lighter pressure..and slowly increased to about 50% which seemed to feel ok.  I really had very little sensation from it but I kept going.  I certainly had moments that felt like I might be getting somewhere but they passed.  ONe time it was feeling pretty good..but to me felt like I was jerking off a tiny little dick at the very back of my dick.  Is that how prostate stimulation feels?  The odd time I was quivering and felt a bit of buildup but it didn't last.  I did enjoy how much precum was leaking which excited me.  At times I was hard..mostly soft.  I certainly wasn't 100% in the zone because I could hear every time my kids used the bathroom or opened their doors.  After a couple of hours it was late so I had to give up.  Of course I didn't expect the big Super 'O' on my first attempt..but I was hopeful I'd get something.  I know I have to keep expectations low. I thought I'd leave it in for the night.  I didn't sleep well and did have a bit of a dirty dream but no magic wet dream (I've never ever had one).  I woke up around 1:30am and thought I'd give it another try since I was half asleep and calm..but no luck.  Tried again around 3 or 4am..also not much for results.

 

Last night I decided to try vaseline after reading posts here.  I thought maybe I'd get a bit of a head start by putting it in a bit earlier while I was watching some TV (after using bidet).  My kids were still up so I just sat on my recliner and they had no idea.  Nothing magical happened but it still felt nice.  Walking around preparing for bed, doing dishes etc made me think a nice walk might feel good..may have to try that sometime.

Finally my kids went to bed so I locked myself in my room and gave it a try.  I played a binaural beats youtube video with headphones to help focus and mask over distraction sounds.  This time I started on my right side..legs bend up..top leg bent a bit higher.  I left my underwear on this time and covered myself up so be comfortable.  I tried to focus on the feelings and kept it in my mind to focus on the feeling..not chase it..embrace it.  So hard to do!  I stared trying to think how the mild sensations were affecting me in my head, arms, legs...but ended up just focusing on my the feelings in my core/prostate.  Again it kind of felt like the back of my dick was being slightly stimulated.  I tried to keep my attention on that feeling and I did feel a slight energy radiating.  Eventually I was feeling like I was approaching a climax...waist quivering...feeling good.  Not a strong feeling, but certainly an approach to something.  Of course then my mind wanders and I think "I hope I get to orgasm"..which seems to ruin it.  I eventually got there again and then heard the bathroom door next to my room as my kid went to the bathroom.  That was it..no climax.

I started over on my back with a pillow under my butt and legs bent up with feet flat (read about that position here).  It felt good and eventually I worked my way to the good feeling and a bit of quivering (maybe I am just doing that myself..not the feelings making me quiver?).  I found myself doing a humping motion so I thought I'd imagine I was fucking or being fucked to help but it didn't get as good as before and hearing more distractions it passed.  I tried my left side and couldn't get there.  I tried my right side again but it was not working for me any more.  It was getting late so I decided this session was over and went to sleep (left my Progasm in again overnight).

Of course I know I'm only 2 sessions in so I can't expect amazing results yet..but I hoped I'd get lucky.  I hope my age doesn't make things harder for me??  I never have issues with erections or having penis orgasms several times a day so I feel I should be able to get there.

A couple of questions I have...  will I get more sensation as I "awaken" the prostate?  Will they be more consistent?  What I get now seems to come and go..and I get...sparks of feelings off and on.  Are those nerve/brain connections trying to figure things out?  Sometimes I can't tell if it's a good feeling, very slight pain..or what?   If sensation does improve..will this process be more consistent and easy to achieve in the future?

I will try to do this a few times a week for sure.  I will take the night off tonight (trying every day won't help?).  And in the meantime I will try to refrain from ejaculation orgasms although if working the Aneros lead to one of those hands free I'd be happy with the progress.  I know being distraction free and focus are key to this..hard to pull off with a small home and teenagers.  When I don't have my kids, most nights, I stay with my boyfriend so also no alone time to try this.  He'd have no problem with me trying..or maybe even helping but I'd have to concentrate so I don't think that would work. 

 

Although I am only 2 sessions in..I guess mostly I just need some encouragement. Seems like such an accepting helpful community here! 

 

You'll get there, it just takes a lot of time, patience, and relaxation. While I thought it'd all happen quickly for me, it took several months before having one. And then after that, I couldn't get back there for over a year and a half! Really frustrating! But I've found that it's so important to take time to get into the right headspace with no stress or time limits.... and maybe a tiny hit of weed, and it works! It just might not be immediate, or hit and miss. 

Getting into the journey of it all is the hardest part for me, but the more I let it ride, the better it seems to get. 

@hankey01 

We don't "know" each other all that much and I don't want to sound like a know-it-all, but... 

You can't trick yourself. You can't "really want it" deep down, and then superficially "accept whatever you get", nor can you be super excited for the Super-O and then try to be stoic and "not really want it that much". It's like you're expecting, expecting, expecting but telling yourself that you are not.   

You're actually doing very good, honestly better than I'm doing at this point in time. You got the physical parts pretty close, or at least close enough that the next parts are up to you, there is not much anyone can offer that will really make a *huge* difference. Maybe the MGX will really hit the spot and send it where you want (I hope so!). Maybe you can refine technique a bit. Maybe a switch of lube will give better mobility. But these are not the most important things. 

If you want it very bad, you have to bring the want and enthusiasm into the session, and excitement, and sense of wonder and discovery, and not cover it with superficial non-expectations. That, or you reframe things until you can actually go in without expectations because you do not have them anymore. Otherwise, you're playing opposite strategies against each other. I don't know if any of this makes sense ? 

@zentai

Posted by: @zentai

We don't "know" each other all that much and I don't want to sound like a know-it-all, but... 

You have far more experience than me....please..be a know it all!  🙂  We don't really know eachother, yet we share things my closest friends and family do not know!  😉

Posted by: @zentai

better than I'm doing at this point in time

May I ask why?  To me you are a master! 

Posted by: @zentai

I don't know if any of this makes sense ? 

I know that expectations can lead to failure but it's impossible to "not" want tha big O.  I am trying to go in expecting to not have that O, but to at least feel very good.  Still a nice way to end off the day.  🙂

Posted by: @zentai

Maybe you can refine technique a bit. Maybe a switch of lube will give better mobility.

I'm learning for sure..I have a few positions that seem to feel very good..still tweaking.  I have been alternating between vaseline and the Doc Johnsons...haven't really noticed a pattern yet.  I DO have coconut oil for my popcorn..I may give that a go but I'm worried that eating popcorn will make me horny. 😉

Posted by: @hankey01

I know that expectations can lead to failure but it's impossible to "not" want tha big O.  I am trying to go in expecting to not have that O, but to at least feel very good.  Still a nice way to end off the day.  *smile*

Again, this is unorthodox thinking, but you don't "know" that expectations are bad, you've been "told" that they are. Maybe they're needed for your sessions ? How would you know ? How would "random internet stranger No. 227" know ? Of course, maybe expectations are bad for 99% of users, this has been demonstrated again and again, but what about you ?  Only experience will let you internalize these things, and then the barriers will fall down. 

As for me, I can't expect things to be as easy with suboptimal circumstances as they are when everything is going great. That's all I'm going to say. 

These concepts are not as simple as they appear, otherwise everyone would succeed right away. You might have some hours of sitting and thinking before everything "gels". At least it's fun thinking, and the payback is huge ! It's important to let go of methods that are not working for you, but in order to be able to judge is something is right or not, time in the saddle is necessary. Just like you did here : 

Posted by: @hankey01

Both seem to lubricate well so I think it was just an off night for me.

EDIT : I don't mean to say that anyone contributing advice is giving wrong advice. Everyone who's sharing their approach does it because it works for them and they want to help others. We are not a big community, and that makes every piece of advice even more valuable.   

That's not the point at all. We're all unique when it comes to the Super-O and at some point, it's just you alone in a dark room with your thoughts and sensations. Nobody can navigate them for you. It is not the time to ask yourself :  "What would the guys on the Forum do, what do they do differently ?" It's the time to focus and watch, so you can understand, and when you know how things work, you'll know what to do to get what you desire.  

Posted by: @hankey01

I know that expectations can lead to failure but it's impossible to "not" want tha big O

No its not, I am yet to have a super o as described by most ppl here. Yet I am having the sexual time of my life. As much as I think I would enjoy it, super o's are not the be all end all. How can I put this. Um, more acceptance and less expectance and you'll enjoy this journey far more. And ya won't miss a thing, you come to realize the little things are bigger than one thinks. My problem not unlike others was I  kept looking for something that resembles a traditional orgasm, for me especially, its not. I had to learn there is no finish line like a TO. First thing I had to unlearn. I get the good feeling , although not as strong as a TO, with or without contractions. I have instant contractions without the feelings, and I enjoy those to. And they can be in any part,( base,center,top) or all together. Her I was looking for the super o not realizing my body was already having the time of its sexual life. And it just keeps getting better and better.

I wish I was a better writer, not good at putting thoughts into words, but I hope you get my drift.

Posted by: @tbob

I wish I was a better writer, not good at putting thoughts into words, but I hope you get my drift.

Makes perfect sense.  🙂  I guess I am curious why you feel it's so good if it isn't as strong a TO?  Better and better..but still not as good?  I feel like I need that orgasm..that itch I can't quite scratch.  Torture otherwise.  Who knows..maybe down the road I may have to cap it off with a TO jerk off if I need that fulfillment.  I know for now I don't want to confuse my pleasure senses.

My BF will be away in Jan...so I will have lots of time (and need) for self exploration.  Don't tell my neighbours!