Aneros and Male Bonding

These are a lot of interesting questions and ones I have asked myself. I feel that males should bond in this way and I believe it would be helpful for a group of friends to get together and coach each other through Aneros sessions.

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progasm,

This is an idea that has surfaced before on this Forum - see 'darwin' s The Aneros Men's Club or ”how about doing it together with a friend”, these are certainly ideas worth exploring but I think you would have to make the connections through a local network rather than through a global site such as this one.
Despite the openess and honesty expressed on this site, I doubt USA culture is ready to openly embrace such concepts, but I think we are making inroads into initiating a necessary change.

I'm curious as to whether any users have discussed their Aneros use with other male friends in person (aka "real life") in order to inform them of Aneros products/prostate massage or to discuss usage or experiences.

I have 4 good friends that I would trust my life with. I've talked, in detail, with one friend about my aneros journey. With another friend, I've briefly discussed the possible results without any details. He reply was, "my orgasms are very intense." If he only knew... I don't think my other two good friends are secure enough to take in or even come to terms with what I would have to say. Like rumel said, "I doubt USA culture is ready to openly embrace such concepts"

I imagine it might be a bit awkward for straight males to venture into this territory with other straight male friends

Yes, it is fairly awkward. Talking about the experience or pleasure isn't the difficult part. It's when they ask you how this is possible, and all of what that implicates, that it becomes awkward.

Two years ago, I had a girlfriend offer me a prostate massage. I turned it down because I was insecure and replied with, "that is an out only hole." If only I knew... It was a movie she suggested we watch, that started me on this journey.

Would you ever consider getting together with another man to experience your Aneros sessions at the same time?

Although I'm much more secure in my sexuality today, I don't think I'm man enough for this experience.

There wouldn't necessarily be any physical contact between the two men...just an awareness of each other's presence, hearing each other's breathing, movements or other utterances/noises...perhaps occasionally watching the other or at certain points discussing what each is feeling or experiencing.

Would this be interesting or exciting, or would it feel too uncomfortable or distracting?

I would find it both uncomfortable and a bit distracting. I'm not turned on by men, so hearing their experience wouldn't add to mine. If I were to hear a woman next to me, or in the same room moaning in pleasure, that would add to my experience quite literally as I would make it part of my fantasy.

In a way, it would be similar to two men masturbating in the same room, which some men experience with friends when younger, but not necessarily once they are out of their teen years.

As a prepubescent teen I wasn't sexually attracted to either sex. I don't think my sexual identity was developed at all. I think the experience you describe is part of self discovery that just happens to be with a friend. I don't think the sex of the friend has anything to do with the experience as it isn't relevant yet.

Do straight men in particular ever feel the need or desire to bond with other males in this manner or is this just "far too gay" or just completely out-of-bounds or uninteresting?

No, yes and yes.

I find it enjoyable to listen to other peoples' experiences and talk about my own. I might be interested in going to an informal seminar or conference where that is the primary goal; to talk about and understand the experience. I feel the actual experience should remain alone or with a loved one. Make a weekend or week of it and you might have something. The excitement of such a conference would certainly add to the experience, even if you are alone.

Just my $.02,
Marty

I myself am a closet aneros user...I go to great lengths to keep it "MY SECRET"...Its not something I want to bring up at the bar with the guys...and I think i speak for the majority of strait men....sticking something up your ass sounds gay no matter how you try to put it....but we all know in here thats not the case...but still being in the same room with another man in a sexual way even though we are not directly involved in a sexual way still makes me sick....seeing a woman being turned on or plesuring herself turns me on....i don't see how a group all in one room using the aneros is exciting....i mean i don't want to look at you balls.....LOL....

But to each his own....have fun you only live once...

South-

I think the general tone within this group is indicative of a strong sense of bonding between its members and, it seems to bridge classic boundaries between orientations and ages.

I'd attribute that to respect for anonymity and the goal oriented nature of our journey. Take either of those qualities away and the bonding wouldn't be as strong. Aside from my spouse, I've only discussed the Aneros with one other person -- a long standing friend who's a great sounding board.

However, there's probably a Master's degree to be earned by someone who would plot out a Sociometry or Social Network Analysis to identify our bonding or lack of same.

A great discussion so far of a key central topic guys!

Rumel, I understand your point about the inhibition level in USA culture, butt yours is a more and more diverse culture. There is no doubt about the gigantic damage to most developing males from the Rolling Poison of the Playground, where the gender identity bullying of any male not hyper-steroidal is allowed to put almost all young males into a one-dimensional fear-based mould of expected MALE behaviours and limitations ❗ ❗ ❗

The same holds true to a greater or lesser extent in many cultures, although many much older cultures have a great subterranean understanding of the truth of Aldous Huxley's description of fully grounded male sexuality as the "polymorphous perverse". 😳 😆 😳 😆 ...

In my own youth, my summer camp experience supported that exploration with other young males, without engaging in any ejaculatory acts, and paved the way for my later teens "gay co-explorer" expedition into homosexual bonding, profound male mutual respect and trust. For me it gave me a full spectrum maleness basis in tandem with my heterosexual life and deep heterosexual partner preference, and for my co-explorer, it clarified ultimately his deep gay orientation.

I have been a male feminist for decades and believe that Germaine Greer's comment to the effect that any male who hasn't taken it up the ass cannot be a truly decent lover for a woman is largely spot on. Butt that is just a personal opinion...

In any event, we have had other threads here about 'how can we spread this great news we have here at Aneros' http://www.aneros.com/forum/ideas-for-spreading-the-word-t3837.html , and given the increasing science around this topic, there is even more of a moral imperative to do this. (See the "Science Says thread here: http://www.aneros.com/forum/science-says-more-orgasms-makes-for-healthier-males-t4328.html ) This, taken with the studies showing the 20% better prostate health and reduction of prostate cancer cases for those who have masturbated more and practised prostate massage in their youth, should have all doctors recommending Aneros use as much as flossing one's teeth! 😯

And then there are the other Life Force and Spiritual benefits on top of all these physical ones, although I suspect non-ejaculatory orgasms may ultimately be shown to have as good or even greater benefits. I have friends and relatives who have battled, or are now battling, aggressive prostate cancer and I wonder how we could have male friends and not be open about discussing what we know here!

My red Aneros T-shirt, "Have Courage" has arrived and will be part me going public with this message starting now. I truly hope that in a year or two, the vast majority of responders in the "Do Others Know" Poll here will be in the currently empty 10+ category: http://www.aneros.com/forum/do-others-know-t1990.html

Butt, back to Male Bonding and the personal, there are several related taboos and social malformations in western culture here too! Take our grossly unhealthy typical fast food diet and the result gastrointestinal distress muck and mess and the resulting real anal problems, as one example.
With a healthy diet and some deliberate adjustments with things like acidophilus supplements, one can have the lengthy firm but not hard stools of our ancient ancestors that leave one completely clean and rarely needing one blot of paper to check that there is nothing left to clean up.

NuBe09, I agree we also need much more academic attention to all the dimensions of this great opportunity for all males and their partners. I think it is very encouraging that a declared conservative Christian male like STARR831 and his wife are on an Aneros journey and posting and blogging here! A very positive sign!

I think too of KSMO and the Heartgasms (here is a site search there of the term: http://www.multiples.com/howtolastlongerinbed/search.php?searchid=64155 ) of energy projection/sharing in a non-sexual, non-touching way with friends of either gender. What if your handshake or hug with a bonding/bonded male friend could also result in this kind of energy sharing? It cannot be based on the male-female energies polarity of yin and yang energies that so animates heterosexual couple exchanges, but life force energies have a universality. Anyone already experienced with male-male non-genital touch/non-touch energies sharing?

all to our full potential... zap! 😯

artform

Artform,
You & Pan always rise beyond my level of comprehension. Workin' on it though. Much to do. ❗

I have been a male feminist for decades and believe that Germaine Greer's comment to the effect that any male who hasn't taken it up the ass cannot be a truly decent lover for a woman is largely spot on. Butt that is just a personal opinion...

As long as the straight guys can take this from a female they love with a strap-on or feeldoe, I would agree. Making the requirements here be male on male, would screw me up as a person.

Not so sure about this part of the journey,
Marty

Whoa MartyB,

I'm not reading that much into what artform said. While that may or may not have been what he was thinking, I don't see male-on-male penetration as being needed or desired to accomplish what artform suggests. Obviously though, my 9th grade sex-ed class was deficient. 🙁

The similarity that I see in g-spot stim and p-spot response is too striking to set aside. The only thing us guys have to contend with is the poor approach to the prostate via our ass and the distraction of the ano-rectal sensations that accompany p-stim. I do feel though, with only a couple of dry-O's to my credit, that prostate stim allows me to better understand a woman's needs and responses.

Right now I'm shouldering the responsibility of synchronizing both p-spot and g-spot stim. She pays me back with nipple work that's sort of sync'd to my g-spot efforts. We are trying to move that to nipp stim as being the lead move and for me to synchronize g-spot and p-spot stim to that. Sorry for being too graphic.

So far we haven't come up with a good face-to-face position that works for mutual finger stim. Darwin and Arctic Wolves are both pretty imaginative. Maybe I can persuade them to design some furniture for us. (or just to come up with some IKEA catalog monikers and graphic instructions.) 😉 👿

Goal... super-O's all around. 😀

I have been a male feminist for decades and believe that Germaine Greer's comment to the effect that any male who hasn't taken it up the ass cannot be a truly decent lover for a woman is largely spot on. Butt that is just a personal opinion...

As long as the straight guys can take this from a female they love with a strap-on or feeldoe, I would agree. Making the requirements here be male on male, would screw me up as a person.

Not so sure about this part of the journey,
Marty

Whoa MartyB!

Sorry about that! No I did not mean that that could only be accomplished by male-on-male, thanks NuBe09. No unwanted prescription/compulsion in sexuality please. I think my own finger and model rockets and the IOs were more than sufficient in my youthful relationships. It is about the positive side and the sensitivities and needs around taking something/someone/some-otherness inside your body, into YOU. And what this can do and mean for you! SURPRISE!!! 😀 And the understanding that this is also a major male potential whatever one's orientation or partner preference. 😀 😀

The Aneros experience and the KSMO understandings accomplish this too for those who are doing it as something beyond self-absorbed limited activities. So strap-on, feeldoe, fingering all good too, it is experiencing the other male vulnerability the internality of prostate ecstasy, its gentle building process and the multiple orgasm experience directly analogous to the female experience that is key for any male to aspire to be a great lover of women. 8)

Mrs. a might now suggest that being able to do these energies building and varied forms of exchanges and sharing is a further world of male/female sensuality/sexually stimulated that males ought to be skilled at too! 😉

freedom all

artform

Very good and thanks artform. Great clarification for me (after I looked at the other side of the coin.)

I can recall in my 20's (I married at 28 ) frequently wondering why, aside from the opportunity of orgasm, a woman would every want some drunk or sweaty guy's dick inside her. And, even when there was no real "chemistry" I would find a willing or anxious, partner.

This raises another question on my part. Wonder if my better half would enjoy doing the insertions before a session ??? Might be the making of an interesting poll. Unless that poll has been done already. ❓ ❓ ❓

I certainly was reading way too far into that. Thank you for the clarification.

it is experiencing the other male vulnerability the internality of prostate ecstasy, its gentle building process and the multiple orgasm experience directly analogous to the female experience that is key for any male to aspires to be a great lover of women.

I would very much agree with your opinion here artform. There are so many aspects of the female orgasm I had no relatable appreciation for. Over time we learn a few things that please women, but it isn't until we have "taken it up the ass" that we begin to understand why these things please them.

I've recently had a discussion with the little lady to talk about the real pleasure felt from nipple stim. She nodded in agreement and said she feels that pleasure from ear lobe attention as well. I can't wait to try that in my next session.

Enjoy the journey,

Marty

Very good and thanks artform. Great clarification for me (after I looked at the other side of the coin.)

I can recall in my 20's (I married at 28 ) frequently wondering why, aside from the opportunity of orgasm, a woman would every want some drunk or sweaty guy's dick inside her. And, even when there was no real "chemistry" I would find a willing or anxious, partner.

This raises another question on my part. Wonder if my better half would enjoy doing the insertions before a session ??? Might be the making of an interesting poll. Unless that poll has been done already. ❓ ❓ ❓

Hey NuBe09, MartyB and everyone!

Your wish is my command. It just so happens that there is such poll, although the limitations on the number of questions truncated and eliminated the insertions questions that were in the submitted post. 😥

The Couples' Practices Poll and Thread: http://www.aneros.com/forum/couples-practices-t4293.html

That is why I edited to emphasize actually posting your experiences in detail as we all add to the thread there with the poll. For example, beyond fingering and Peridise, there are some couples here exploring pegging (strap-on) as a mutual prostate technique. The hope of this Couples' Practices Poll is that it can be a milestones forum for couples joining the Aneros Journey and a place of sharing experience from a couples' perspective. 😀

here's to the couple experience

artform

I actually just signed up tonight for the Aneros Men's Club on Google Groups tonight. Others should sign up.

Aneros forums provide valuable information sharing and discussion. I'm curious as to whether any users have discussed their Aneros use with other male friends in person (aka "real life") in order to inform them of Aneros products/prostate massage or to discuss usage or experiences. I imagine it might be a bit awkward for straight males to venture into this territory with other straight male friends, whereas gay males might be a bit more comfortable or accustomed to this type of information sharing, although this assumption may not always prove true.

During a recent session, I found myself suddenly contemplating what it might be like to be using my Aneros while another man was also present, involved in his own session.

I'm interested in reactions to this. Would you ever consider getting together with another man to experience your Aneros sessions at the same time? This could be on the same bed or perhaps on separate beds (as one would find in a hotel double room, for example.) There wouldn't necessarily be any physical contact between the two men...just an awareness of each other's presence, hearing each other's breathing, movements or other utterances/noises...perhaps occasionally watching the other or at certain points discussing what each is feeling or experiencing.

Would this be interesting or exciting, or would it feel too uncomfortable or distracting? In a way, it would be similar to two men masturbating in the same room, which some men experience with friends when younger, but not necessarily once they are out of their teen years. Do straight men in particular ever feel the need or desire to bond with other males in this manner or is this just "far too gay" or just completely out-of-bounds or uninteresting?

As I become less and less "str8," the idea of m2m sexual interaction becomes less unattractive - and even attractive - to me ...

but i'm not far enough along at this point to engage in mutual anal play of any sort - attempted it a few times at one point in my marriage (at my wife's request) ... but neither of us found it rewarding

... i'm too versed in the unsanitary aspect of the digestive excretory process that shit, e. coli, etc. all turn me off (more than) a bit - I could probably work a superclean mate's asshole and prostate with gloved finger/finger ... and bond with mutual hardons and genital pleasure - but the sight of brown would probably kill my ardor.

think i'd rather just get a high quality blowjob

- rip

i'm new to the whole aneros deal as it's my first anal toy........even tho i love it, i have no desire to interact with men......this forum is about as far as i go

and as far as two men in the same rule having aneros sessions......that would kill my whole mood

i'm new to the whole aneros deal as it's my first anal toy........even tho i love it, i have no desire to interact with men......this forum is about as far as i go

and as far as two men in the same rule having aneros sessions......that would kill my whole mood

One of the reasons that interaction and coaching in the Chatroom is conducted in written English. Drop in sometime. And if you desire, do it when you're not logged in so that you'll appear as a 'chatguest.' That gives you the license to 'lurk' anonymously.

I'd love to have a mate to practice and learn with. Exploring the journey, talking and encouraging each other through it. I'm gay though so being naked with another man isn't a big deal to me. Couldn't do it with one of my friends, though. That would be *too* embarrassing!

*Singsong Voice* Awwk-warrrddd.

For me, at least. I think if I invited someone to try it with me, he would be in fear of getting raped! Or if someone invited me, I would feel like he would try to put my dick in his mouth the first chance he got! Maybe I'm just too immature or too much of a red-blooded American. In Europe guys hold hands in the street and it's cool. Recently a very good friend of mine accidentally brushed his hand against mine whilst we were strolling down the sidewalk together. He immediately said, "Sorry." I immediately said, "Fag." Hahaha. True story.

I have a number of close friends that I discuss openly about my devices... To date, we have not had a physical combined session or virtual (skype) sessions.

I am up for it maybe one day

I think that we are attempting to deal with two separate issues here:

1) Who else knows? And, under what circumstances and with whom are we willing to share our Aneros use? And for most guys in the forum, the "medical dodge" seems to work as a "cover story." This is pretty well covered by the occasional bump of the Poll thread: -- http://www.aneros.com/forum/f6/*do-others-know-11202/ --

2) The other, more focused question seems to be: Is Aneros use a point of commonality that supports the type of bonding that occurs in the local Firehouse, the team Locker Room, within a military Platoon, in a Bathhouse, in the front parlor of a Bordello or among any group of males stressed or stimulated as a group. (Ugly boss, nasty enemy, cute pole dancer, etc.)

I have reservations about disclosing my Aneros use in any 'non-anonymous' environment. Over the last 23 months though I've found it advantagous to trade knowledge of that fact for advice on toy purchases or the availability of information or accessories to support my orgasmic practices.

It's also paid off in improved medical diagnoses -- I think it good that my pri-care doc, my Uro and my Neurologist know what I'm doing (perhaps not the 'why') That knowledge helps them consider and adopt appropriate therapies for what might ail me. My Uro knows exactly why I ask about the size and texture of my prostate on an annual basis.

I think it important that my wife understands, as best as I can express it, what I receive from my Aneros use and 'why' I do this. Rarely but sometimes, she suggests, "how about trying....." Or, "have you tried?" She is also my advisor on elements of hygiene that may affect both of us. ("Make sure you use Clorox to mop the shower floor should you spill a douche in there!" --- "Please try to clean up your tools before I get up in the morning!")

About Male Bonding: With a common goal of pleasure and orgasm we tend to understand one another and bond via the Forum and Chat. As in an Infantry platoon or team sport we tend to know each other and how each of us might respond or iinteract in a given situation. We also learn about the amount of risk another guy is willing to take to, 'grab the brass ring.' .... after all, that's what male bonding is all about. It's about how the man (gay or str-8) on my right and the man on my left will behave in a given situation. (Hmmm, just a tad sexist there -- looks like I need another Human Equity course.)

I think we achieve some of that in the Aneros Forum and Chat. However, we don't personally witness the action, smell the gunsmoke, see the muscular responses, hear the joyous vocalizations, or the sounds of shock and terror. Over time we learn when and where to share, whom to trust and if we can, with whom to, "let it all hang out."

Remembering back to High School days, there was a certain bond established during circle-jerk sessions in the men's shower after gym -- some of that was no doubt from the perceived threat of being caught. In reality those sessions were mild ventures into both homosexual comparisons and into male bonding. We considered ourselves different from the females since, in those days, they did not share in a 'gang shower' environment.

When I make love to myself with the Aneros, I have no desire to be in a bunkroom environment with other Aneros users. The "Full Moon club" is about as close as I might cum.

So maybe there's a chance for a poll to test our capacity for bonding --- HOW COMFORTABLE ARE YOU WHEN PARTICIPATING IN THE FULL MOON CLUB?

Afterward, out of my cocoon, I might share the experience over coffee or a beer, but not in a real-time use situation. I would not want to intrude in any way on another man's self-love making or be a source of distraction to him.

My answer: As MD_Eroticist has pointed out, there are not words in our Lexicon to express our orgasmic responses, we do understand one another and tend to bond around this common orgasmic goal and it's supporting activities.

Some seem to equate feminine receptivity to a change in sexuality. I think this is wrong. Although I agree there's something arousing being penetrated by something alive that's throbbing and pulsating, isn't homosexuality more?
For me as a heterosexual the thought after a Super O to be penetrated by a thick dick in the wall is arousing, but any manliness would be a turn off. I don't get turned on by a male's physique or smell or sound.

Perhaps in the future there could be fleshlight like devices that measure the penis that goes in, and where an exact replication fills up a penis on the other side of the world. I wouldn't mind this type of bonding.Aneros users all over the world get to share their penis and it's various stages of arousal and ejaculation with the difference that the simulation penis would be adapted to the level of arousal inside the asshole.

The homosexual would get a turn on from male sound and pictures while the heterosexual would still get a turn on from female sound and pictures. I don't believe female receptivity leads to homosexuality.

As far as the bonding, I believe Aneros is a solotool. If you're focussed on the inside,what's on the outside is either superfluous or disturbing.
So although homosexuals definitely have the advantage in the beginning as they might already have experience with feminine receptivity, it's that's association with the sexual that actually puts them at a disadvantage later on

I did talked about the Aneros with a gay friend at work .... I don't think I could share my experiences with a straight male since I would be too afraid of being judge. Honestly I would love to have the opportunity to have a same room session with an other man or more then one, perhaps the opportunity will come now that I have spread the word. I will keep you posted in my blog if or when it happens.

This is certainly a veiw point we pass through our heads should I share my experiences to other guys and get them to join the journey and share info ect ? well to this as im open I do feel its ok to mention this stuff to other guys as long as they are close and open as well, I have mentioned it not in detail mind to a few guys I know, the fear is jugdement and tbh if they suddenly dislike you over this preference they aint really guy m8s, as for sharing the experience at the same time I think the world aint ready for that I know sometimes women do this sorta stuff but women are more emotionally open. I'm not sure if I will ever tell my own brother at this stage in time as he is younger and less open minded perhaps a while later on when he is more mature I may share it with him. I must say since using the aneros one of my fantasies is using it whilst with my gf whilst she is using her toys on the same bed ect and helping each other out to speak would be a great way to connect on a new level.

Perhaps you should talk with you gf about your fantasises, perhaps it is her fantasy aswell? I would be scared shitless if i would spill my secrets to my friends, but i have left a few clues/breadcrumbs for them to follow, so if they do find this site and get hooked (which i hope they will) that would be very amazing.

Perhaps you should talk with you gf about your fantasises, perhaps it is her fantasy aswell? I would be scared shitless if i would spill my secrets to my friends, but i have left a few clues/breadcrumbs for them to follow, so if they do find this site and get hooked (which i hope they will) that would be very amazing.

ha gf lol I wish dont currently have one atm but yeah I deffo would spill the beans to her if she was worth it

Rocketman;

Agreed, regarding advising friends, experiencing with guys, etc. As for sharing/playing with your gf; go for it. My wife and I really enjoy that.

Cheers,

Dave

Rocketman;

Agreed, regarding advising friends, experiencing with guys, etc. As for sharing/playing with your gf; go for it. My wife and I really enjoy that.

Cheers,

Dave

cheers should have used a few words lil with a future gf perhaps lol yeah that would be great wouldnt it im so in envy of all you guys with your wives, this new path of aneros has oppend up a lot of doors for me , making me more adventurous, making me more open to stuff, as I can please myself making me less needy for women for sex so it means i can just look for a women and not base it on what the sex with her would be like, move giving in the bedroom not that im not already im a very giving person and the list goes on its really great feel free to read my 2nd entry to my blog