After 3 years, I may be getting somewhere....Right feelings?

So, I know, I know, everyone's going to have different sensations. I've never gotten "there" though, recently, I been noticing I suddenly get super hard and every once in a while I feel a pulse that I can trace going up my shaft that feels like I'm ejaculating. If anything, it's just tons of precum. That happens a few times in a row and eventually fades away D=. I've been trying so long that at this point I can make my muscles unstable at will, but I get this sensation only by "doing nothing"

I have a difficult time getting hard or feeling that same sensation again, but it's not impossible. Getting back there usually takes some contractions. The thing is now that I recognize that, I think know what to do a bit. When these pulses come along, should I try to contract and keep them there? The basic guide says to contract hard at some point, but I think I lose it doing that other than the rare time it seems to help get it back. I figure do what feels good, but I'm not sure how to keep it feeling good when it goes away.

It's definitely progress, but is that "it"? Thanks for any input all!