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12/29/2021 10:16 am
Hi, I've been wanting to make this post for some months now but as this is something that frustrates me and makes me feel bad it took some time 😛
I've been using aneros since 2012, I started with progasm ice but eventually I collected almost all the models. i've got to say I don't feel much difference between the models, the size and movement are different but in the end they all seem to have the same effectivity.
In all this time most of the times I feel little, some penis throbbing with little pleasure but most of the sessions (and they are always long, 3+ hours) end up with nothing to show of.
In rare cases I have some nice pleasure, I'm not sure what it is but I call it "weak dry-orgasms" because they're nothing special really but they have a tiny taste of orgasmic pleasure. They're just far from the pleasure and satisfaction an orgasm provides. In the best sessions I'm stuck in this weak orgasm state and I feel like the aneros keeps rotating sideways, I don't mean it's what happening, I mean what it feels. I think this is a good step but it's so rare it's hard to feel any consistency with these sensations.
It's also common for me to have hands free wet orgasms, it's doesn't always happen but sometimes they do, they are nice of course but it's session over. And when they're close it's pretty much impossible to continue without making them happen. Nipple play seems to turn on my penis and prostate and in most times it eventually leads to the ejaculation if I continue.
I also have the njoy purewand and the nexus revo intense. I don't less from these than from aneros but I'm curious on what they make me feel, and I have a question related to this. When I use these, even with small touches, I feel the contact on the prostate and I would describe it as more intense than pleasurable. The aneros never touch me like this, I don't know if this is an indication of something? Are the aneros missing this exact spot? I don't think so but I'm not sure.
I mean, the aneros seem to work better than these but I can feel the intensity of the contact of these, but it's less pleasurable and more.. intense?? I would like to ask if this is what you feel or what you used to feel when you started use them.
So, like I said, I am frustrated. The sensations I feel surely are good and interesting but I'm sure I'm nowhere near the pleasure of what other men get, I honestly fear that I might never have strong dry orgasms or a super O.
And no, I never had a super O. Like I said I feel some orgasmic pleasure sometimes but it's nowhere near the pleasure of for example and ejaculatory orgasm. I don't mean the orgasm type, it's different as I felt from the weak dry ones, but it never made me "wow" and it's obvious there is much more pleasure to be had (otherwise nobody would care about aneros).
As most sessions go nowhere I have no expectations for them of course. My libido is also almost non-existent which probably makes it harder (I'm 34 years old).
I generally use do nothing but sometimes I try doing some contractions (with sphincter and pc alternatively), but the good sessions I have seem random, both things have worked and worked not. I've read the wiki many times and tried many things but it just doesn't seem to evolve past a certain stage for me.
I know some people say weed can help a lot but it's not legal in my country yet, I am curious to try but I'll have to wait for 1 or 2 years more for that.
So I just keep trying, hoping someday it will happen. But it didn't yet and that really frustrates me to the point it's actually painful for me to write these posts (lol).
12/29/2021 11:45 am
That's a tough one to answer... First, good job on "coming out" about this, I believe you when you say that it was actually painful to write, I know that feeling (not from S-O issues, but still...)
I'm going to pick and choose and try to put things in order from what I think are the main obstacles or items of interest, I hope it's not too confusing.
As most sessions go nowhere I have no expectations for them of course. My libido is also almost non-existent which probably makes it harder (I'm 34 years old).
To me this sounds more like negative expectations than no-expectations, like you go into sessions really not expecting much, instead of "very open to whatever happens" which is my interpretation of no-expectations. Clearly after 9 years, that's not surprising, and your commitment to getting S-Os is impressive. I've said before that I don't think I would have the patience to wait that long... Low libido at 34, I don't know, was it always like this ? Can you get an erection when you need it ? I have pretty high appetite for orgasms, but not that much for sex if it makes sense.
Also, you don't have to share this, but some medication will absolutely crash your libido, so if it's the case, it's a "talk with your doc" kind of deal. I'm wondering if there is a link with the wet Os, I don't know if your low libido causes you to go long periods without sex/masturbation, this would in my experience make wet Os much more likely.
Nipple play seems to turn on my penis and prostate and in most times it eventually leads to the ejaculation if I continue.
That's very positive, and if you take a step back, you can ejaculate without touching your penis. Some people do not even think it's possible, so you're doing something right, certainly a bunch of things right. Nipple play is a cornerstone for several guys, me included.
Are the aneros missing this exact spot? I don't think so but I'm not sure.
I mean, the aneros seem to work better than these but I can feel the intensity of the contact of these, but it's less pleasurable and more.. intense?? I would like to ask if this is what you feel or what you used to feel when you started use them.
If you have several models, you're likely experiencing the complete array of available feelings. I don't think you're missing any spots. There is just no comparison between the weight of the pure wand and you wrist strength, VS the weight of an Aneros and your PC and sphincters strength, even if you go very light with the wand, it's bound to feel much more intense and direct than an Aneros device.
How hard are you contracting when you use an active approach ? Do some positions give better contact and feelings, or is everything the same ?
I'll let you digest this, and likely more people will chime in, I'm sure we can get you back on track.
12/29/2021 1:03 pm
I think there are a lot of invisible hurdles involved with this. In that we can't tell what we should or shouldn't be doing, because those things fly under the radar. Even in normal day-to-day life there are millions of pieces of sensory data we have to tune out, or not focus on. Habits and ways of responding that we've never even thought about or noticed, because we've never had to. It's normal and necessary to tune out and filter things, otherwise we couldn't make sense of our surroundings.
I can quickly digest my surroundings by identifying objects, figuring out the humming noise is the refrigerator, the ticking sound is a clock... it all happens in the blink of an eye, and I don't have to try. In fact, I'd have to try not to.
I suspect there might be some element of this happening with orgasm-building. As feelings begin to take familiar shapes, they get prematurely categorized, and dealt with as if they are that thing. It's so automatic we don't even notice it. We've trained our pattern recognition with years of penis-based data, and validated it thousands of times over.
This is my take, because when I'm feeling something good, beyond traditional orgasm, I'm surprised at how different the rules are. Like I can take this feeling in my lower back, and make it travel out through the front of my body. It doesn't feel like I'm allowed to do that. It's as if I just walked freely through a brick wall. So why is it that sensations seem to come with rules? And why do I only become aware of these rules when they get broken?
The accepted wisdom is to drop your expectations, but I think expectations run so deep, we can't just decide not to have them. I think some part of it is happening at the level of automatic categorization. When you hear a ticking clock, it's not easy to keep an open mind and wonder if it might instead be a little mouse playing the drums, or anything in between... to avoid identifying it at all, so no other constraints about that object are dragged into the equation. Yet that's the level of "anything is possible" I need to mentally occupy in a session, at least when it comes to sensation.
I suppose over time, the pleasure in familiar shapes would appear more often as the prostate orgasm sensations they are. Or you'd get better at reaching that mental state of processing raw sensation without categorization. I think possibly this is one of the things THC does for me, because when I'm stoned it takes me (for example) a second or two to figure out if what I'm looking at is a glass of water or not. It feels very much like I'm receiving raw data, and having to categorize my surroundings manually. Of course THC also releases dopamine, to the point even food magically tastes better, so it's not that much of a mystery why it feels good.
That seems to be the key for me... all my best sessions (sober or not) have had that in common. Staying present in the stream of raw sensation and just feeling it. I've gotten there many times through meditation, and I don't mean sitting in the lotus position going "Ommm", I would just be lying there trying to let the feelings rise and fall without interference on my part. To become the distant observer. And in those states it felt like most of my brain was asleep, aside from one remaining sliver of consciousness whose job was to receive sensations. And when you can become that, it's easier to do the next time. I think at my best, I was able to lie down and slide right into this state in around 10 minutes.
I think abstaining from ejaculation is also an interesting thing to experiment with. Aside from the pent up horniness, there is a psychological freedom to knowing there will be no traditional release. When I'm comfortable with that being off the table entirely, I stop reaching for it, and I don't try to shape the outcome towards that. I don't do it often, but I think it can be a useful experiment.
12/29/2021 2:42 pm
@Rsilva, I think both @Zentai and @Clenchy have given you some good insights and I'll add a few of my thoughts here as well.
It's also common for me to have hands free wet orgasms, it's doesn't always happen but sometimes they do, they are nice of course but it's session over. And when they're close it's pretty much impossible to continue without making them happen. Nipple play seems to turn on my penis and prostate and in most times it eventually leads to the ejaculation if I continue.
You are not alone in lamenting occurrences of HFWO's. Here are some threads which may shed some helpful light on avoiding them -> How to avoid ejaculation?, How to avoid handsfree wet orgasms , Avoiding ejaculation during orgasm? , Hands free ejaculation being an obstacle & Cumming while lying face down.
I also have the njoy purewand and the nexus revo intense. When I use these, even with small touches, I feel the contact on the prostate and I would describe it as more intense than pleasurable. The aneros never touch me like this, I don't know if this is an indication of something? Are the aneros missing this exact spot? I don't think so but I'm not sure.
As @Zentai noted using a device like the Njoy 'Purewand' can apply tremendous pressure to the prostate and hence radically increase the intensity' of sensations. I don't think your Aneros devices are missing the spot, they are merely not exerting the same level of pressure and thus feel less intense.
I mean, the aneros seem to work better than these but I can feel the intensity of the contact of these, but it's less pleasurable and more.. intense?? I would like to ask if this is what you feel or what you used to feel when you started use them.
I think it is important to note that intensity of physical sensations does not necessarily equate to intensity of pleasure, pleasure is a construct of the mind and can be generated even in the absence of physical stimulation/sensations. Intense physical sensations may induce pain just as easily as they induce pleasure depending on how you mentally interpret them. It sounds to me from your description that the high intensity sensations in this case are bordering on pain and therefor would be less effective at inducing pleasure.
So, like I said, I am frustrated. The sensations I feel surely are good and interesting but I'm sure I'm nowhere near the pleasure of what other men get, I honestly fear that I might never have strong dry orgasms or a super O.
It seems obvious to me your body is responding to your Aneros devices but your mind is establishing some blocks to interpreting those sensations as pleasurable.
As most sessions go nowhere I have no expectations for them of course. My libido is also almost non-existent which probably makes it harder (I'm 34 years old).
IMHO, this may be a key element in your lack of success. Your libido fuels your arousal and your arousal fuels your orgasms. I've long maintained that high arousal levels are necessary for successful Anerosessions.
Please read the threads Are you "aroused"?, Aneros, Arousal & Abstinence/Semen Retention, 21 day challenge post & @divine_o 's thread Arousal building methods for more information on this aspect of the Aneros journey.
If you are on any medications such as SSRI's then those can greatly impact your libido. If you have low testosterone levels this can also severely impact your libido. There are a variety of other hormone imbalances due to improper diet or other factors which may also impact your libido. Those are physical factors but there may also be psychological factors depressing your libido and those need to be examined as well. I suggest you consult with your doctor to try to resolve the low libido problem otherwise any suggestions we try to offer are likely to be ineffective as well.
Good Vibes to You!
12/30/2021 5:43 am
Hi, I've been wanting to make this post for some months now but as this is something that frustrates me and makes me feel bad it took some time
You’ll have to bring the frustration under control,it’ll keep you in a cycle which appears to be the case.
I've been using aneros since 2012, I started with progasm ice but eventually I collected almost all the models. i've got to say I don't feel much difference between the models, the size and movement are different but in the end they all seem to have the same effectivity.
This is absolutely normal of your caught in said cycle of frustration and expectations,especially negativity. You’ll need to open up your mind and go back to the beginning and work in small steps.
In all this time most of the times I feel little, some penis throbbing with little pleasure but most of the sessions (and they are always long, 3+ hours) end up with nothing to show of.
Ok,so the pleasure machinery is working. But your concentrating on the end consisting of failure rather than focusing on the throbbing and pleasure in the moment. Start to focus on them little pleasures,it’s them that grow to orgasm.
In rare cases I have some nice pleasure, I'm not sure what it is but I call it "weak dry-orgasms" because they're nothing special really but they have a tiny taste of orgasmic pleasure. They're just far from the pleasure and satisfaction an orgasm provides. In the best sessions I'm stuck in this weak orgasm state and I feel like the aneros keeps rotating sideways, I don't mean it's what happening, I mean what it feels. I think this is a good step but it's so rare it's hard to feel any consistency with these sensations.
Again,we need to enjoy the pleasure in the moments without looking ahead,very difficult I know,but would you believe me if I told you,the weak orgasm state you are stuck in is actually a low intensity super-o? A TO over in about 6 seconds,being in an orgasmic state longer than that is the goal everyone’s chasing. You’ve a mental block that must be overcome to move beyond that point. The aneros feels like it’s rotating sideways and your stuck in a weak orgasm state? Forget the aneros,stop focusing on why it’s doing what it’s doing and focus on the sensations however weak. Try a little erotic fantasy,quiet the mind of noise,questions and predictions.
It's also common for me to have hands free wet orgasms, it's doesn't always happen but sometimes they do, they are nice of course but it's session over. And when they're close it's pretty much impossible to continue without making them happen. Nipple play seems to turn on my penis and prostate and in most times it eventually leads to the ejaculation if I continue.
For me,I think your pushing too hard. Maybe contracting too hard as when it’s getting good,you try to brute force it across the line. This can have a place in some journeys,but since your at 9 years and counting,it’s time to accept it doesn’t have a place in yours. If you are in a place where you feel ejaculation is building,take a deep breath and back off the contractions a little,get them down to the most delicate little touch’s,let the feeling I. Impending ejaculation dissipate,stop in necessary until it’s passed,then continue.Having said that,if your stimulating yourself to a HFWO,this is a huge positive to take,as if things were as bad as you think they are,you wouldn’t even get that.
I feel the contact on the prostate and I would describe it as more intense than pleasurable. The aneros never touch me like this, I don't know if this is an indication of something? Are the aneros missing this exact spot? I don't think so but I'm not sure.
I mean, the aneros seem to work better than these but I can feel the intensity of the contact of these, but it's less pleasurable and more.. intense?? I would like to ask if this is what you feel or what you used to feel when you started use them.
Try not to get stuck on prostate contact. No toy actually touch’s it. There’s a wall between any toy and the gland. This whole thing is about the amplification of small sensations and feeling,very little actual massage and force is needed. A centred mind does the lions share of the work.
So, like I said, I am frustrated. The sensations I feel surely are good and interesting but I'm sure I'm nowhere near the pleasure of what other men get, I honestly fear that I might never have strong dry orgasms or a super O.
And no, I never had a super O. Like I said I feel some orgasmic pleasure sometimes but it's nowhere near the pleasure of for example and ejaculatory orgasm. I don't mean the orgasm type, it's different as I felt from the weak dry ones, but it never made me "wow" and it's obvious there is much more pleasure to be had (otherwise nobody would care about aneros).
As most sessions go nowhere I have no expectations for them of course. My libido is also almost non-existent which probably makes it harder (I'm 34 years old).
Like I said earlier,your caught in a vicious cycle of frustrating and negativity,it’s a cycle you must break to progress,and you can.
No libido at 34 is a little odd,ask your dr to test your testosterone levels. However,if the journey is making you miserable and feeling like a failure,that isn’t going to make you feel particularly sexy.
Also,some lifestyle changes could be needed of your in bad shape.
I generally use do nothing but sometimes I try doing some contractions (with sphincter and pc alternatively), but the good sessions I have seem random, both things have worked and worked not. I've read the wiki many times and tried many things but it just doesn't seem to evolve past a certain stage for me.
I know some people say weed can help a lot but it's not legal in my country yet, I am curious to try but I'll have to wait for 1 or 2 years more for that.
So I just keep trying, hoping someday it will happen. But it didn't yet and that really frustrates me to the point it's actually painful for me to write these posts (lol).
9’years of mostly doing nothing. Then time to do something. Start practicing a Kegel routine. 10 mins a day is plenty. And have shorter sessions using contractions,bin off this 3 hrs session nonsense,your just desensitising your nerves down there. Have sessions no longer than 45 mins for a while,begin the mindset of ‘you get what you get in the 45’ and that’s it. Even if the session is the best yet,shut it down after 45mins. Once you get a handle on things you can go longer.
You don’t need weed,you have everything required except a positive outlook. Cheat codes are great,but then you become reliant on them and can’t do anything without.
Try to let go of negative thoughts and painful thoughts,they are literally blocking your progress,relax and take small steps and you’ll get there.
01/08/2022 4:09 pm
I would very much like you to try this technique and tell me . For me it's worked for both Super O and A-less.
Note health issues that other experienced members have raised above first.
I also always had difficulties.
I only use sphincter contractions . The intensity of the contractions makes all the difference between working and not working.
I have separated my contractions into 2 types: anal contractions (usually strong also involving the rectum) and anal sphincter contractions (nothing more than just the muscles that command the sphincter and the sphincter itself)
The aim is to use sphincter contractions only. To do this (no mistakes) press the lips of your mouth together and observe the muscle action. In this case only the muscles of the lips perform the action and make them close.
Repeat this process with your anus. Close only the lips of your anal sphincter. They will meet with a certain amount of pressure. If you did a common holding contraction (the gas/fart) your anus would probably contract up slightly towards the rectum, involving various muscles and so on.
Rate the level of your contractions (just to remind you, sphincter hires) from 1 to 10 .
Level 1 - The lightest possible contraction (almost millimeter)
Level 10 - The strongest contraction you can do.
The goal is to do this level 1 contraction only. Do not involve any other contraction or any higher level until greater pleasure.
With the aneros inserted and after the whole process of cleaning, lubrication and a few minutes for relaxation/breathing, do these millimeter contractions with your sphincter around your aneros and watch the feelings happen. They are really minimal contractions and a little bit slow (1 to 3 seconds between contracting and releasing) doesn't have to be exact.
Note: There is a "standard state" which is a state of total anal relaxation (almost as if you are pushing the anus out but you are not) it is only 0 contraction maximal anal relaxation. After holding this millimetric contraction for a few seconds, release and completely relax your anus (it may feel like it's pushing but it's pure absence of any contraction) and repeat as many times as necessary . In the best case scenario your anus and prostate will start pleasurable reactions. I believe that these minimal anal movements and consequently over the prostate is what leads to Super - O
Note 2: Abstinence from masturbation and also from nipples. For me the nipples take the focus off the prostate because of the intense stimulation they cause and also a post-session wear. Without stimulating the nipples you don't "waste" your arousal.
Note 3: I do regular Kegels
This information that I passed is a kind of exchange. In return I would like to know all the sensations of pleasure and every detail (if possible) of your Super O of when you hit it (you will do it) . I will be happy with your pleasure.
Topic starter
01/09/2022 2:16 pm
Thanks for all the replies, thank you, when I have more time I'll reply to them.
02/11/2022 5:25 am
You are not alone. I too am taking a long time to get there. 7 years now and I keep trying.
You say your libido is almost non-existent? (Me too)
Have you had any blood tests for hormones? I have, and they are showing some worrying results - and hoping to start treatment soon. And I got to wonder: does our lack of progress have anything to do with out of whack hormones?
02/11/2022 7:02 am
2005 here. Took me 11 years to get somewhere.
What helped is using the Wiki, doing the basics it outlines, main things that helped:
1. Expecting nothing, each session is a chance for relaxation if nothing else.
2. Be aroused.
3. Forget about your penis, notice it if it gets hard but thats it. Do not focus on it.
4. Little 15% holds with anal contractions, some harder but no more than maybe 30%, releases and just keep it simple.
5. Identify PC muscle, imagine it in your head as the muscle behind your penis and identify what its like to clench this muscle opposed to anal contraction muscle, then do one of each, then one together.
After a time i find that i do some contractions at the start of a session, it gets the engine going and i can just relax, it does its own work after that.
Lastly, change positions when feelings stop or you get bored/tired.
02/11/2022 10:16 am
It's a good refresher, but I would think we know the basics.
All of what you describe is what I do in all my sessions - the only possible one in your list that may not be at 100% intensity for me is arousal - but this may be due to hormone issues. Even when very aroused, it's the same general result.
Which is fine, it's a nice meditation / relaxation time for me. However all this talk of orgasms and such does feel like a bunch of baloney.
I'm not really bitter - I'm just realistic. I used to have hope for this process, now I don't particularly. But it's still fun to lube up and insert and try, and even meditate. It can be comforting falling asleep with the Helix Trident.
02/11/2022 11:58 am
It's a good refresher, but I would think we know the basics.
All of what you describe is what I do in all my sessions - the only possible one in your list that may not be at 100% intensity for me is arousal - but this may be due to hormone issues. Even when very aroused, it's the same general result.
Which is fine, it's a nice meditation / relaxation time for me. However all this talk of orgasms and such does feel like a bunch of baloney.
I'm not really bitter - I'm just realistic. I used to have hope for this process, now I don't particularly. But it's still fun to lube up and insert and try, and even meditate. It can be comforting falling asleep with the Helix Trident.
The basics are what i thought i had nailed but really i hadnt. For years upon years I would tense hard thinking it was subtle, i was doing it so much i hurt myself and it took ages to heal.
I still look at the basics even now, it teaches you still somehow!
I didnt give up after 10 years odd and that is when it started working because i went back to the wiki and followed it.
Biggest change was the mindset, not expecting anything. Also i thought the anal contraction was the only kind and one that only worked a little, as of last year i started doing the PC muscle as well as outlined in both the wiki and other articles here and it changed everything again, massively.
One thing: its possible to over aroused, this happens when i watch porn and immediatly makes me focus on my dick. However if i watch hot women stripping or just nice pictures of nude women, that is the level I need, just subtle.
02/11/2022 1:05 pm
Can you be more specific in how hard you were contracting and how you hurt yourself? I’m asking because I’ve found that harder contractions work better for me (75%usually but sometimes more) and these push me into what I think is super o territory. Lots of shaking, twitching, and convulsing and definite mind blowing, screaming because I can’t control it pleasure.
I know the general consensus is gentle if any contractions but that only works to get me to a certain point and I start my sessions with that but once I start feeling the pleasure and involuntaries the harder contractions increase everything and take it to another level or that’s how it feels anyway.
so I guess my question is how did you hurt yourself and would I be in danger too? I’ve tried keeping a session at just small contractions and to be patient but those are duds. Only the more agreesive contractions seem to push me into super o territory
Thanks for your response and any others in advance
02/11/2022 1:29 pm
I think it's possible to bruise the prostate if you over-do it. I've experienced symptoms of UTIs on a couple of occasions from too much aggressive use of the Progasm.
02/11/2022 1:53 pm
Can you be more specific in how hard you were contracting and how you hurt yourself? I’m asking because I’ve found that harder contractions work better for me (75%usually but sometimes more) and these push me into what I think is super o territory. Lots of shaking, twitching, and convulsing and definite mind blowing, screaming because I can’t control it pleasure.
I know the general consensus is gentle if any contractions but that only works to get me to a certain point and I start my sessions with that but once I start feeling the pleasure and involuntaries the harder contractions increase everything and take it to another level or that’s how it feels anyway.
so I guess my question is how did you hurt yourself and would I be in danger too? I’ve tried keeping a session at just small contractions and to be patient but those are duds. Only the more agreesive contractions seem to push me into super o territory
Thanks for your response and any others in advance
I got angry when i didnt get results, years of nothing! So i would really, rerally tense hard and youre the first ive seen that has said hard contractions work in more than 15 years of being here.
I got bruising and every time i would ejaculate it would hurt! and this lasted about 4 years. Tbh i would manually stimulate myself with the device which is very wrong and do so quite agressively through frustration and do far, far more than what youre doing with contractions tbh, i think youre fine.
Saying that i do sometimes do harder contractions and it does yeild good results however i have to be careful not to overdo it or it can create a little soreness ive found, but that is getting less frequent now i think in my sessions.
02/12/2022 1:07 pm
Hello @lonewolf8
How do you feel during the sessions? With great pleasure/medium pleasant or none? Do you do Kegels?
07/25/2022 4:51 pm
Hello @lonewolf8
How do you feel during the sessions? With great pleasure/medium pleasant or none? Do you do Kegels?
none really. Sometimes very occasionally there might be an itch inside. I guess it feels pleasurable? I dont really know. Is that supposed to feel pleasurable?
I used to do kegels, didnt do anything for me, so I stopped.
08/05/2022 1:11 pm
This may be a helpful hint - take it for what it's worth. For me, the prep is everything. If I rush the process and anything remains in the lower bowel, I can't "get there" and it becomes obvious when I remove the aneros and require clean up. I installed a bidet - a wonderful perk for the process. Hopefully this isn't a TMI post - I just know that insufficient prep spoils the fun for me.
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