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Wife and I moving into femdom.


Helghast
(@helghast)
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Hi Gents.

Since involving my wife in my prostate based journey,she has slowly begun to change our course into femdom.

Starting to peg me has awakened another side to her that was either hidden,or that she didn’t know she had,neither did I for that matter. One thing is clear,she has taken to it like a duck to water. For her,i don’t think this is fantasy play. She very serious about it.

We both think the things that have started to change in our sexlife are for the better and we are enjoying ourselves a lot with a renewed vigour.

Pegging was the catalyst. Then small things. She said I would have to start earning my pleasure. She bought me some knickers ha ha which I have to wear to work when it’s asked of me,if not,no fun. And they are definitely to be worn during any pegging,which cannot be asked for,it’s given whenever she chooses.

On quite a few evenings of the week,I have to do little things like a foot massage,or an actual massage,if not given,no fun. I have to also bathe her when she sees fit.Again,if no bathe,no fun. She wants my undivided attention and pampering.

Anything sexual must begin and end with oral sex. Personally i never had a problem with performing oral before sex. But now,it’s every time and for as long as she desires. I can’t break off and instigate intercourse,I must wait until asked for intercourse. I’m free to A-Less during. There are some times she’s received oral until she’s satisfied,so things end there,I go to sleep horny! If she needs a pee before any fun,she won’t wipe herself,she presents her vagina as is.

Now for the end bit.We had sex one night and she said that she wanted me to finish in her mouth,happy days I thought,nothing like a good blowjob! Once I’d ejaculated,she kissed me and deposited my ‘deposit’ into my mouth then demanded I swallow. Then the impish smile again,she advised that I get used to it. She’s decided to be cleaned now anytime i ejaculate inside her. This also includes ejaculation during anal sex.I’m also relentlessly teased with statements like one day,the ejaculate may not actually be mine.

She’s starting to push on the boundaries fairly hard now.My thinking has had to undergo some sort of paradigm shift. I’ve noted that sentence is used a lot around this forum,so I’m slipping it in too ha ha. I’ve had to virtually surrender to her. Some of it is taking some getting used to,my last bastion of masculinity trying to make a stand in my mind ha ha. But i must admit,I’m actually enjoying it immensely.

We also bought some bondage gear. I’ve had my first post cum torture session. Not sure why @Divine o speaks so highly of it. I thought it was pretty brutal. She rode me reverse cowgirl whilst I was tied up. After i ejaculated,she kept going. By god I was practically in tears,begging her to stop,this just turned her on more and more. I think it was nearly 10 mins before i got a handle on it,ejaculated again after another 5. Then cleaning duty again. Still had to admit it felt good in hindsight that she just used me like that.

Some future plans include a pegging in public,but not a type that would get us into trouble. She wants to explore a chastity cage and whatever goes with that. She wants to take complete control of any TO.

So,in summary,things are quite different now. Great,but different. I had no idea she could be like this,nor that i could not only take it,but enjoy it too. Research will continue and new ideas implemented. 


   
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rumel
(@rumel)
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Posted by: @helghast

Some future plans include a pegging in public, and she wants to explore a chastity cage and whatever goes with that. She wants to take complete control of any TO.

I think the public pegging is a very bad idea for the both of you, Getting convicted of a sex offense is not something you want to chance, it is something that will haunt you for the rest of your lives, best to keep such activities totally private. Remember your 'safeword' and please, always play safe !

Good Vibes to You!


   
Helghast, Regal13, Helghast and 3 people reacted
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Helghast
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@rumel it’s not the kind of public your thinking of 😉

 No one will see any charges.


   
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Posted by: @helghast

I’ve had my first post cum torture session. Not sure why @Divine o speaks so highly of it. I thought it was pretty brutal. She rode me reverse cowgirl whilst I was tied up. After i ejaculated,she kept going. By god I was practically in tears,begging her to stop,this just turned her on more and more. I think it was nearly 10 mins before i got a handle on it,ejaculated again after another 5.

Well I guess it might be a personal thing, seeing as I am a bit masochist. Right after ejaculation our bodies are ultra sensitive. Foot tickling is ultra intense, for example, and in that 3-5 minute post-ejaculatory window, if my partner tickles my feet and legs I have orgasm after orgasm.  Then sometimes we repeat: ejaculation followed by tickling.  

We can’t do what your wife did because i don’t ejaculate inside her for birth control reasons, but the times I have had a handjob continue after ejaculation, it has made my eyes water, and even given me dry orgasms.

I think it has to do with a (here we go with that word again) paradigm shift. What is pleasurable sensation? I find pleasure in pain, tickling, and other intense sensations. Tickling is something I discovered when I was a teenager. I realized that if I avoided laughing, I could enjoy the sensations. I didn’t like pain until 5 years ago, though. I hated having my hair pulled, and hard biting was a hard no. Like with tickling and laughter, I had a defense against pain: saying ow and stop. Bit by bit I let down my defenses, and experiences with trusted partners taught me to love certain types of pain.  But we are all different!

In terms of public sex, I partially agree with @rumel. Personally I don’t see the point of it and never have (though I love me some nature sex, but that is pretty private), so I have no experience with it. I have a friend who has sex everywhere, bathrooms, back rooms, even on the street between cars... but he is having sex with women in the “normal” way. I imagine getting caught being pegged can be a little less fun, seeing how ignorant most people are. But you seem to know what your doing, and y’all are adults with lives to protect, and I’m sure you will be smart. Also I don’t know where you are (I imagine you’re in the UK, given your vocab?), but the implications of being caught are surely different from country to country.

I’m super happy for both of your newfound sexuality. I think it is way more interesting than normal hetero sexualities, but what is nice about it is that one doesn’t exclude the other, unless you both decide that you won’t switch. And even then, it is more interesting to give women the lead, because women are so damn creative, I think.  with my partner there is a lot less domination than what you describe, but we take turns leading and following, so we are definitely “switch.”


   
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Helghast
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Posted by: @helghast

 

Well I guess it might be a personal thing, seeing as I am a bit masochist

Well she enjoyed immensely,so i best get used to it,I doubt it’ll be the last time.

 

Posted by: @divine_o

Foot tickling is ultra intense, for example, and in that 3-5 minute post-ejaculatory window, if my partner tickles my feet and legs I have orgasm after orgasm.

I’m 50% laughing and 50% impressed. Tickle orgasms ha ha.

 

Posted by: @divine_o

i don’t ejaculate inside her for birth control reasons

Strange for 21st century,no coils,diaphragms,pills,vasectomy? There is no option for birth control for you pair at all?

 

Posted by: @divine_o

Bit by bit I let down my defenses, and experiences with trusted partners taught me to love certain types of pain.

Hopefully the same here.

 

Posted by: @divine_o

I love me some nature sex, but that is pretty private)

Just to clarify,nobody plans to do anything outside a school or something ha ha 

Wife has always enjoyed outdoor sex. It’s mostly the garden now in summer. When we were younger,cars,nature,beach,bedroom windows late at night,that sort of thing. She’ll want a go outdoors again. Sure there’s a ‘thrill’ that you could be seen etc. It never bothered her though,she’s quite matter of fact about that stuff. She once said we were a married couple,having sex is natural,she wouldn’t be ashamed if she was seen. Obviously tho these things took place off the beaten track.

Yes I am in the U.K. I’m not saying we will frequent these places,but there are places here you can go for gay cottaging,dogging etc The cops don’t bother those ppl,they are out of the way. But of course anything public would still be pretty private.

 

Posted by: @divine_o

I’m super happy for both of your newfound sexuality. I think it is way more interesting than normal hetero sexualities, but what is nice about it is that one doesn’t exclude the other, unless you both decide that you won’t switch. And even then, it is more interesting to give women the lead, because women are so damn creative, I think

Thanks. A whole new world is cracking open to us,it’s a lot of fun. We are having a new honeymoon period like the start of our relationship. And totally agree,women are very creative,once she got her head in the game,she’s surged off with a virtual obsession to research and implement new ideas for pleasure. The most interesting thing is that I’m fast learning that perhaps I wasn’t the super open liberal sexual maverick i thought I was. Only beginning to scratch the surface.


   
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(@divine_o)
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@helghast

Responding in the order of the above...

If she likes torturing you, I sure hope you find stuff to like in it!

yup tickle orgasms. I wrote a post about feet tickling a while back.  Both my partner and I have them. There is an excellent video of a woman having squirting foot tickling orgasms on pornhub, the user named Candy Camille. The link is in the post:

https://community.aneros.com/community/general-discussion/feet-tickling-orgasm-post-ejaculatory-sensitivity/#post-107063

 

No option for birth control... hmmm... I could do a vasectomy but I don’t like the idea of genital surgery, no matter how non invasive. For her, she doesn’t want to take any hormones or put a non hormonal iud in her. I have had multiple girlfriends who have felt the same way, so over the years I have gotten used to edging during sex but not ejaculating. Haven’t slipped up yet!

Yes see if you can get into the pain, exploit it as pleasure.

yeah I figured you weren’t going to fuck on the street in downtown London.... though people do!

yeah it’s crazy, I too thought I was sexually open, and over the past few years my sexuality has changed so much! A while back I realized that I am constantly learning and doing new things. Sexuality ends when there is no more curiosity.

 


   
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Helghast
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@divine_o That’s so cool!!! That’s just how my wife squirts too!!! Nice jet streams!!

Right,tickles are on the hit list! I’m a believer! 🙂

 


   
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this is all just outstanding to hear! I'm quite jealous @helghast my wife doesn't have this kind of femdom side to her at all. She thinks she's going to hurt me, or is afraid if she does something too hard or intensely I'll get mad or upset or hurt and be in pain in some way. I BEG her to try to hurt me, I challenge her, I can't break through to her so she gets it: I'm asking for it, so do anything, try anything, the worst that can happen is I won't like it and we can try something else.

Like a ruined orgasm, its my dream. I pray one day she'll think of it. She's afraid it won't be good for me. But that's the point, I want to experience what a true ruined O is and just get a chance to know if its worth it or not. If I remind her beforehand I'll know its coming and it won't work. At least I don't think it will. How do I remind her about this stuff and not ruin the surprises?? We're so extremely insanely open sexually and have done everything out there (except a threesome) so this shouldn't be a thought. She just can't take over and dominate me in anyway.

It would just make me die in great ways if she said to me one night "you're getting fucked and the ass hard by me and you can cum and/or have sex with me if I say so, when I've had my fill of you, then I'll see." If I bring stuff like this up to her, tell her my fantasies, it ruins it for her because its then my idea and she thinks it won't be good for me because I've kind of planted the seed. But we've been together 23 years, so bank it on a list and wait a year or even three and then unload on me I'll never suspect it! I can't figure out how to get her to do this. I guess its just not in her, maybe some of it, but not the stuff y'all are talking about here.


   
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Helghast
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@techpump

Posted by: @techpump

my wife doesn't have this kind of femdom side to her at all. She thinks she's going to hurt me, or is afraid if she does something too hard or intensely I'll get mad or upset or hurt and be in pain in some way

Neither did mine. She was alway the submissive one happy with me taking the lead. After a couple of peggings,it just kinda switched on. She had a taste for the one being in control and the giver of pleasure. She treaded gingerly to start with,but she’s just grown in dominance and aggression. She isn’t afraid of hurting me or getting into trouble. Simple choice,take it and like it,or forget it ha ha.

 

Posted by: @techpump

How do I remind her about this stuff and not ruin the surprises

Just tell her to do it somenight. Or tell her to just deny you sometime when your really riled up. We aren’t on ruinied orgasms yet,we are exploring post cum torture and some sex denial. I totally appreciate what your saying about surprise. That first denial was shell shocking and wonderful at the same. I was performing oral,went to climb up her,she pushed me back down,said she needed more. She orgasmed a bunch of times,then said “Thanks babe,I’m completely satisfied,I’m going to sleep now”. I was like “wtf”. She just giggled and said “tough”. I was seriously gagging for sex. She said I wanted to be submissive so that’s what I’ll get. So yea,can’t ask for things,accept them when given,or do without.  Maybe it was always there. She just discovered she really gets off on it. I do too if I’m honest.

Posted by: @techpump

I guess its just not in her, maybe some of it

I think maybe it’s in a lot of women. Like us journeymen,they just need to discover something about themselves that they didn’t know was there. 

 

 

 


   
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rumel
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Posted by: @techpump

I challenge her, I can't break through to her so she gets it: I'm asking for it, so do anything, try anything,

Perhaps if she hears the reasoning behind pegging from another woman she will 'get it', please get her to listen to Ruby Ryder's Podcast #112 - For the Ladies. Listen together and talk about it after.

Posted by: @techpump

Like a ruined orgasm, its my dream. I pray one day she'll think of it. She's afraid it won't be good for me. But that's the point, I want to experience what a true ruined O is and just get a chance to know if its worth it or not. If I remind her beforehand I'll know its coming and it won't work.

First, it is worth it, second, even if you know it's going to happen, it will still work! Please have your wife read Samantha Love's - Ruined Orgasm Training for more information.

Good Vibes to You!


   
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Helghast
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@rumel

Posted by: @rumel

First, it is worth it, second, even if you know it's going to happen, it will still work!

Agree with this! Of course it would. Guys who visit dominatrix have a idea of what they are going to get for their money! They still go. 

 


   
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