Pegging 2

If only I could convince my wife!

Yes, convincing one's wife is the big problem. There are a lot of benefits to pegging, and it does not require a man to have an erection, nor is birth control required.

@twocan7 have you asked her? Have you looked on Ruby Ryders blog? There is a podcast just for women. I was leary about asking g m,y wife, but when I did she did hesitate and said yes.

As for how to engage your wife or SO about pegging, I also suggest pointing her to Ruby's website for information.

http://peggingparadise.com/

Do NOT do what I did; pull a double dildo out from under your pillow and say, "I'd like to try this with you." I was lucky that my wife was a good sport and went along with the program. The right thing to do is, discuss the idea, first.

Looks like interest in the Pegging thread has died down a lot. Oh, well...

Seems like this thread is broken. Technical issues?

I have a new piece of writing for you all! Going to cut and paste the whole thing here.

Gentlemen, are you afraid to tell your partner you want to try pegging?

First of all...

You are not alone.

Certainly not alone in the sense of enjoying anal stimulation, and not alone in the sense of scared to tell your significant other. It can be a super scary thing, for a lot of reasons.

Telling your partner requires 3 things.

• Communication
• Information
• Patience/Persistence

Communication:
Do you two talk in bed?? Do you talk about sex? Do you tell each other what turns you on and how things feel and what you fantasize about? If you don’t, start right now. If you are not used to it, at first it will be hard to open your mouth and get the words out. Communicating about sex opens doors and brings you much closer together, beside adding a bit of titillation factor to both of your sex lives!

Information:
Does your wife know that prostate massage has been proven to help with a healthy prostate?
Here’s the study.
Does she know that the prostate is capable of giving intense levels of pleasure, just like her G-Spot?
Does she know that pegging doesn’t have to be like pegging porn?
Does she know that you enjoying anal stimulation says nothing about your sexual orientation?
I created a podcast just for the women, to address all of their fears and concerns. I recommend you listen to it first, because only you can decide whether it’s right for your partner. Many men have had great success with it!

Patience/Persistence:
When you tell her about it, don’t present it all self-conscious like you have leukemia. Tell her you discovered something way cool – that you have another erogenous zone and you want nothing more to explore it with her. Be excited! Give her the information and then be patient for a few days. Ask again, no resentment, no impatience, just eagerness and curiosity whether she looked at the information or listened to the podcast. Be patient, but persistent. And above all, calm.

Of course you have fears! Among them...

• She will think you are gay
• She will think pegging will turn you gay
• She won't respect you in the morning
• She will tell her/your friends

The podcast will help a lot with all of these.

Because here's the thing...
Do you want to live the rest of your life never asking her? If she is down to try it, you could be enjoying pegging right now. And if she isn’t, then you at least asked. So many men wish they had not waited so long to ask their partners. Pegging is a very intimate act, so wouldn’t it be awesome to be doing it with the person you are the closest to in the whole world?

Now, if your partner is sexually inhibited, sexually conservative, sexually close-minded, and you only do it missionary position, no oral or anal, then perhaps it would not be a good idea to blow her out of the water with pegging. Only you can decide!

Good luck!
Ruby

Excellent post, Ruby. I hope it helps some of the guys here.

But, one thing you didn't mention is, exposing your SO or wife to the positive mainstream media representations of pegging, like the Broad City TV show episode and others. I guess a list of those on your website would be helpful.

Cheers,

Dave

Glad you liked it!
That's kind of hit and miss - the mainstream media. Often it is portrayed as a joke, or that he doesn't like it, or kind of dark and taboo - Broad City being the exception. Am I missing some good ones? Deadpool was borderline, as much as I love the movie. We still have a ways to go with mainstream media treating the subject well.

On the lighter side, I just did a review of the Tantus Hoss - an enormous dildo (2.75" diameter x 10" length). I actually used it to peg a guy. It was amazing. Just goes to show you that if you want to try the larger toys, it is possible to build up to them!

Best,
Ruby

Do you have more info on the sizes? What size would an experienced guy generally prefer?

@aoeu That question is very individual. Some men love beginner sizes (approx 6" x 1.25") and never feel the need to go any larger (which is perfectly fine), so though they are experienced, they still use and love the smaller size toys. Going up in size as one gains experience is not a requirement!
Many men do upsize and use toys that are 1.5" - 1.75" in diameter as they gain experience. Whether they increase the length as well is again, very individual. Some men love longer toys, and some find them very uncomfortable. Experimentation with different toys will let you know if you prefer girth, length or both...or if you prefer to stick with the smaller toys.

Ah @Ruby Ryder , the world needs more Ruby Ryder!

Awwww! Thank you!

@twocan7 have you asked her? Have you looked on Ruby Ryders blog? There is a podcast just for women. I was leary about asking g m,y wife, but when I did she did hesitate and said yes.

Uh, no. The graphic with the woman riding the pens would end the discussion immediately. I would love to try this but NO WAY this gets her eyes.

@mobilesub - You know your wife better than any of us, clearly. Only you can decide what is appropriate for her. I totally respect that.
Alternative. Download it from my dropbox here.

You don't have to have an account at dropbox to listen to the podcast. Give it a listen and see what you think. Might not be right, but then again it might!

Technically, I am riding a dildo (no balls).;)

@aoeu I agree with Ruby Ryder. There's not necessarily a correlation between size and experience. In the context of BDSM, there's often an aspect of "training" that involves gradually increasing the size of the dildo, but this is not required. I consider myself fairly experienced (though I've never been pegged), and I find that smaller dildos can be just as, or more, stimulating than larger ones and they don't require as much preparation to enjoy them. That being said, large dildos can be exciting and my two largest are the John Holmes UR3 and Bam (the latter one being ridiculously huge). There is a huge psychological factor involved when using a huge dildo that can increase the physical enjoyment. Out of all my toys, though, the one that has given me the most pleasurable and transcendent experiences has been the aneros helix and it is far smaller than even my smallest dildo. So, it may be true that size doesn't matter. The main thing I've learned when it comes to anal is that there's no substitute for relaxation and arousal.

Be careful of the material those big toys are made out of. Both the Bam ('skin-safe rubber') and the Ur3 are porous and can harbor bacteria. Stick to 100% silicone. Be picky about what goes in your body. Tantus Hoss will fit the bill, and is sterilizable.

Thanks, I forgot to mention that. It's a good idea to use a condom with these kinds of toys and, even then, silicone is safer.

Side note: I had an awesome anal-o with Bam last night. I had been going deep but decided to finish off with shallow thrusts doggystyle. After keeping up a consistent pace across the prostate and getting very aroused, my entire body went numb for a second and then exploded in pleasure. It was really cool and put the traditional orgasm to shame.

The toy's size as well as material and texture matter a lot. Smooth, shiny silicone feels entirely different than satin finish silicone. For pegging, the smooth finish needs less lube and slides in and out more easily. Condoms bring other problems, like bunching and wrinkling if the condom doesn't fit the toy tightly.

@ten_s_nut
When I wrote "it may be true that size doesn't matter," I just meant that a bigger toy may not be better than a smaller one for causing orgasms or pleasurable sensations. It may just feel bigger, and nothing else. I didn't mean to imply that there is no difference between sizes. Bad wording.

bless you Ruby for your info on pegging my wife loves to finger me i know i lucky to have a good woman like her i love reading and looking forward to my so DOGS me

@happyhole
You are quite welcome! Fingering can be such fun. Sounds like you two are enjoying each other!

Where can I meet someone like ruby ryder haha

thanks for the articles Ruby, helps me understand how to go about it. Im a 25 year old guy so sometimes its hard to find a young girl who even knows about pegging or the prostate. Haven't reached a point in past relationships where I could have that talk unfortunately. Girls that I find lately are just looking to hook up a few times and nothing serious. Kinda weird feeling like that sucks being a guy haha. But I like to have a deeper connection. And I want to be pegged lol.

Lead with the things that are important to you. That you love prostate play and are curious about strap-on play as well. And, that you prefer a deeper connection to a FWB or NSA situation. If you don't know the girl yet - like you are on a dating site - you have nothing to lose by putting it right out there, by laying your kink cards proudly right out on the table. Good luck to you!

That is a good idea. Thanks Ruby!

So believe it or not, I may have found someone to peg me who really wants to peg someone for their first time as well. So in there lies my question....Anything I need to know or should discuss with this girl before my first time? I already told her what size I would prefer so we don't go too big too fast. Anything else Im not thinking about?

Threre is a lot of information for the first time - that's why I teach classes, but here you go -

http://peggingparadise.com/blog/2013/05/newbie-ass-play/
http://peggingparadise.com/blog/2016/10/the-first-time-take-it-slow/

those are great write ups thank you Ruby. Gave me a boner just reading them. lol