A Wife's Perspective

ahhhmazing, I'm sure you'll get several good ideas from the married men in the forum, so I'll approach your question from a gay man's perspective. Not knowing your boyfriend or how far you can lead him, I'm thinking of what would work for many guys, and, in my experience, has worked for men who didn't think they'd ever enjoy anything anal. He can (and probably will!) stop you if he doesn't like it -- and you can plan another strategy. 🙂

But I think he'll like it if he'll allow himself. I wouldn't talk much about it, I'd just work it into the sex play as something that you do naturally, no verbalization necessary.

Since he liked the oral attention, I'd continue with that or use lube to massage his penis and down to his anus as foreplay. As he relaxes and grows more responsive, switch from your tongue to a lubed finger, continuing to circle his anus until you can begin to probe gently -- but do not enter. The tension he may experience, unsure of where you're going next, should heighten his arousal, so continue at a pace that is giving him pleasure but not frightening him.

With your other hand, or mouth, continue to focus on his penis, nipples, or other erogenous areas that you know will keep him excited. When he's nearing orgasm, be sure your finger is well-lubed and then work it inside fairly quickly, gently but firmly, until it's in past the spincter. As he ejaculates -- and if he's even close, that will do it -- don't focus on the prostate, but press your entire straight finger upward toward the base of his penis, using a throbbing motion to match the throbbing you may now feel from his prostate. As ejaculation subsides, slide the finger out gently and clean his butt before he regains his senses! 🙂

This is difficult to describe in so many words, but maybe I'm giving the idea that I intend to be giving. 🙂 Just go with the flow, don't make it seem like a big deal, and back off as necessary. You may be surprised at his positive reaction. Most men would like it, although some might not admit it right away, so I wouldn't ask his opinion unless he volunteers it. Just continue to use all the skills that he'll respond positively to, and the anal aspect becomes part of your sexual technique.

And, if he allows those techniques to continue for a few times, he'll probably be hooked. You can then bring out the Helix, have it lubed and ready and use it to play with his anus, even if you don't insert it the first time. Just make sure you're doing other things to distract him -- things that will make sex so good he'll want more of whatever it is you're doing! 🙂

I know this is all "maybe" stuff, but this is how I would approach it, based on no personal knowledge of you man.

Good luck!

I'm not sure how to reply to a specific message, but I HAVE to respond to this by ISVARA on April 2:
"The only parallel may be a G spot O for her but my partner would
disagree and say , it is not. You have the prostate she just does not!
Females sexual interest is different from males."
This is absolutely not true -- on any account!

Women DO have a prostate, and it was proven via ultrasound by two Viennese urologists in 2007. The female prostate is on the anterior wall of the vagina about an inch or so inside. The female prostate is the source of vaginal orgasms that produce full body wave orgasms, as well as the real occurrence of female ejaculation (of prostatic fluid, not urine). The prostate is home to the She Spot (as I call the G-spot), which is not really a spot but a zone. There are several different erogenous zones within the vagina, that I won't go in to here, since this is a men's site. But I had to correct this information about women not having prostates.

And women absolutely DO have lots of sexual interest. We are NOT cold fish. Women tend to have a lot of other things on their minds, such as the kids, work, family, body image, stress. Women worry about a lot of things a lot of the time. It's not that we don't think about sex as often as men, we just have other things that tend to take priority. But that doesn't mean, we don't "want" or even "need" sex. We do!

Okay, I'll stop ranting. Anyone who's interested in reading more about sex from the woman's point of view, as well as female anatomy (including the clit & prostate), please visit my blog: ArousedWomanBlog.com, where I work hard to dispel myths about women and our sexuality.

Thanks for the soapbox. 🙂
Lava

ArousedWomanBlog.com

I agree, I have moved on a lot since April and so has my partner and we would agree with Lava now. The big problem is that very little of this information gets out in a sensible way. (I think clinically). There has also been some very good infor about this recently. My partner is looking forward to Evi and we expect a rewiring process to fully awaken the 'G spot. My P is also being rewired also. I am grateful to Lava for her response.

Hey, isvara!

I did not mean for my comment to come across as "at" you personally, as that was not my intent. Mea Culpa! 🙂

Accurate information on human sexuality is only widely available clinically in as much as corporations and the Big Pharma companies can make money off of it. Sites like this Aneros forum and hopefully my blog are educating people on the wonders of the human body, if they're willing to do an internet search for the info.

I look forward to hearing more about your journey and that of your partner. 🙂
Lava

ArousedWomanBlog.com

Thanks for info on your blog Lava. It's great to get that level of insight into female sexuality

@cj187 Thanks! I'm fascinated by the male prostate... hence, my reason for scouring the Aneros forum for info that I can use on my future partner. 🙂 In fact, I was reading a great thread on prostate milking, but I can't find it now. Argh! 🙂

Lava

ArousedWomanBlog.com

@Lava, I really hope Aneros has got it right, or at least in on track with Evi. The stimulators that Aneros has made for males are specific in design for the male prostate. They do have a number of health benefits as well as a wholeness benefit. They don't glare at you in a sex shop. Oh dear, I hope this is coming out right. I hope Evi will develop into something similar for girls. (That does not have to look like a faux penis in a sex shop). I hope that it will make a responsive contact with the FP, I hope that it will bring a satisfaction, an extended sense of wholeness as well as earth shattering experience that happens to males. It is my guess that it may be a slow start as females live in a wide vision world and may not make time as many feel that they have good orgasms anyhow, of which some will be FP enhanced. Where as for the male the anus has heaps of cultural barriers to overcome, so many males will not even be able to start the journey, but if they do then they will focus more on working with it.
This post is an appauling mess. Most of it may be taken the wrong way, for that I apologies. My partner and I are on a rapid journey of rediscovery (rapid because we are oldish folk) there is so much to discover and experience in our intimacy with my P and her FP.

@Lava - Thank you for posting here. And also for listing your blog URL. I definitely enjoy and find it educational and informative to read women's points of view on their own sexuality. So reading several of your posts on your blog was nice.

I'm glad you are fascinated by the male prostate. You're a rare gem in that department! Your future partners will love you for that. I chuckle because I have a similar fascination with the she spot as you call it (female G-spot for those that have not read Lava's blog posts), and desiring to know what gives women sexual pleasure and the potential for them to find new heights in it.

It's always nice to have a womans point of view and experiences to contribute to here in the Aneros forums. I hope to continue to see more posts from you in this forum.

@Lava your future partner is gonna be one lucky guy. Gotta admit I share a similar fascination for the she-spot as well as my own prostate. In fact the whole reason I got into the aneros line was due to my own curiosity of milking.

Have been reading some of your blog posts and they really are fantastic. Some of them are quite moving too. The education aspect is definitely invaluable as I would love to be able to introduce my fiancée to such pleasures.

Thank you, @Love_is & @cj187!!! I must admit I'm fascinated by the genitals and how synonymous they are between a man and a woman. I feel that understanding just how similar they are in anatomy will mean for greater understanding between men and women sexually and orgasmically. I love the penis, the balls, and the male prostate, so I get rather blissed out just being in a Forum such as this. 🙂

Women -- or at least, I -- have the same cycles of ups and downs with orgasmic rewiring (just wrote a post about where I am now... grrrrrrrrr...). And I think that helps, too, to understand that the orgasmic process isn't linear or all Super-O's, but cyclical... like everything else in life... and transformative on spiritual/super-conscious levels not just physical.

Lava

ArousedWomanBlog.com

My wife is aware of this. Just last week we went to the toy store and she bought the MGX classic for me. She asked me last week if i've tried it yet... I just said, "It'll take some practice". So far 3 uses and nothing close to what I've been reading about.

@new_guy - That's awesome that your wife bought the MGX for you! 🙂 Although don't be discouraged after three tries with your new MGX. It can take time and a lot of practice to wake up the prostate for some men.

Lava - Thanks for the blog info. It is enlightening and a fun read. Your candor is appreciated.

To a previous poster -- The Aneros prostate massagers are not at all suitable for a woman's anatomy, they would not be comfortable for her, would not accomplish anything worthwhile, and I suppose may even cause injury. That's why it's such a blessing now that there's the Evi.

Where are the Evi threads on the forum? I'd like to figure out how to convince my dear (but bashful) wife that she "needs" one, but I don't want to hijack this great thread with my off-topic question. Seems this thread has lots of wonderful women on it, so I'm hoping maybe some of you can help. Is this a good topic for a new thread perhaps?

(Edit - Oops, I posted at the end of page 1, not noticing pages 2 and 3, sorry, another new guy here...)

@Thruster I have to totally disagree with the thought that all Aneros products are specific to gender. Does anyone remember Lynn? She had many posts about a product. For myself, my first Gspot orgasm was with a purple Progasm. I'm certain that many products are gender specific. But, as women we've found a few of YOUR toys can be shared with the opposite sex.
I've seen in the past some men bought Evi's for THEIR usage. Perhaps most likely it would be for those wanting something larger. Maybe some of the more "experienced users" had purchased? im unsure. Certainly, it's not marketed for men...butt....
🙂

@nurselady
I couldn't agree more.

@nurselady out of sheer curiosity, is the Progasm inserted anally, or vaginally? I've been wondering that for quite some time.

Not trying to speak for @nurselady but i'm pretty sure its vaginally. There was mention somewhere else here of using the progasm vaginally. However nurselady's post has made me even more eager to try it now...I just hadnt gotten around to it.

@Badger when I used it for gspot orgasm it was used vaginay. I did move it in and out using my hand. It was given to me and I was left by myself to try it. I never had been introduced to toys etc. this was by far the most mind blowing experience to know I could squirt. Honestly, I'd never even thought about it before then.

Ive got a question and hope it don’t seem to dumb but as I’ve always heard the only dumb questions are the ones not asked. 🙂

In this thread I see several people have made comments that by using the aneros it has helped with early ejaculation. Are you doing anything special while using your aneros?
I have the Helix SYN, I use it as often as I can.

Thanks

@nurselady not sure you're still here or not, but my wife has had amazing orgasms while using any and all of my Aneros models. She loves the Progasm jr., the Helix, and the Eupho especially. She likes the Eupho because it is long and skinny and the end bulb really gets her G-spot going strong! I agree: Aneros toys can be for women because they move perfectly in a vagina, they are not anywhere near as big as normal dildos, and they are literally designed for G-spot stimulation.

Posted by: @jane

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Hi

I hope it's ok for a woman to post a message, but my husband won't do it and I wanted to share our experience of an Aneros couple. It started nearly two years ago when Pete had trouble holding his erection and his ejaculate was thin not nice, and ejaculating itself was a little bit sore at times. The doc checked him over, said he might have a bit of prostatis which we knew nothing about. Oferred a course of massage which seemed to work but embarassed Pete a lot. However, by the end of the course he was harder again, the soreness had gone and his semen was in better shape. But within three months the old signs returned, albeit much less than before. He, and I, were worried and ready to go back to doc when we saw an alternative therapy clinic advertise prostate treatments. Thought we'd try and found more massage but with implements not fingers. Pete thought it worked better though it was probably becasue a finger wasn't poking inside of him. The therapist sold him some stuff, including an aneros, and suggested he try them out on his own as the treatment didn't need any special expertise. Pete did, only when I was out, again becasue of the connotations of a man poking his own bum. Over the last year he was noticeably better in bed, happier and him peeing sounded like a tap turned full on. I was interested but he'd keep me at a distance. Until I decided to confront him, making sure we didn't spend time apart for a couple of weeks so he couldn't find the time to be alon with his aneros. Eventually he gave in and allowed me to observe. After all I used my vibe when he was about, so what was tht different. When I dd get to watch I was stunned to see Pete convulse when using the aneros and to spontaneously ejaculate without touching his penis. Just by contacting; it hit me that he was doing the same pc exercises that I used. So I wanted him in me with it in him and when we did this he moaned like no other time, was hard and had stamina I'd not seen for a long time. We both really got off on the experience and his super orgasm helped my orgasms. We now set special Aneros time aside when we talk about it and use it so we know better how it works for us. We've become closer with a special more intimate bond - he's happier and healthier. And I'm enjoying each lay as though I'd got a new man! So, thank you Aneros!

Jane

PS Why is it that men using the aneros is so secret when we women have been using vibes for years and they are now sold everywhere. God, even my local pharmacy has some discreet models on sale. And regular TV shows plastic cocks in dramas and comedies. Yet a man and his bum is still taboo! So mad...........

Hello Jane.
Glad to hear it’s all working out for the better for you and Pete. I have a little story I’ll share. Last summer I had an accident riding a seadoo @ 70 mph .I slid off the seat and smashed my pelvic floor on the corner of the seat. And smashing my penis. I couldn’t get an erection and half the time I couldn’t get my penis to un bury its self to come out to even pee. Went to the urologist was checked out. And said let’s start pelvic floor physical therapy. So I did that was 16 weeks of going there and having a women go inside my rectum and massaging the muscles and tail bones. Those muscles are what gives a man an erection. Along with the process I was seeing the urologist every two weeks for a penal injection for the scare tissue to help de solved the scare tissue for six months. That was painful . It was very strange to see another women that I’m not intimate with every week knowing that she was going to massage my rectum.  And my wife was glad to have her do it. After a few weeks I started to get my erections back. Doc wanted me to masturbate at least twice a day every day and so did the physical therapist. Every week I had to talk to both of them how it was coming along. That was strange but after a few weeks I got use to it. So a year later my penis took a permanent bend 65’ and I had to have surgery we couldn’t have sex because it hurt my wife and me. After surgery it’s straight as an arrow now. I’m fulling back to having sex with the wife.

 But over the time and experience all of this I learned so much what going on down there I find it fascinating. My wife is nurse and she has learned a lot also. By doing lot of research over the last two years now. It’s great that I came across Aneros.  I told my wife that I would like to get a prostate massager she was all for it. She told me to get a good one. I bought a vice 2. I have only try it twice so far as of today.  It feels awesome but I haven’t had the big O yet. I tell the wife after every time I t tried it she is super cool about it.  
  We talked about my using it during intercouse. We will use it but I’m not there yet. Just want to learn how my self first. I’m 55 years old I’m back to full heath I need to take about 80 mg of Viagra to keep a good erection. But it’s worth it.

 So to your question why is a man shy about talking about using a vibe in the bum.  It sounds gay but I tell you what I want something in there now after all of this. It’s one awesome feeling. Guys don’t be shy do it.  After having my physical therapist massaging me I looked forward to seeing her every week. She could do me anytime. No I don’t see her anymore but I’m a on a new track with Aneros and my wife.  I tease my wife every time Amazon delivers something I ask her is that my new strap on for me hun.  Lol. 

my advise guys just take it slow and try it out. Your nerves for you penis starts in your pelvic floor.  Cheers 

Hmmm from my wife’s perspective. We tried it out the other day together.  She watched me insert it in she thought that was hot. I sat there on the side of the bed and massaged her sexy body from head to toe. I went down on her and licked her ass then her pussy until she came all over my face.  While she was having an orgasm I slide my cock into her tight pussy. With this vice 2 turned in side of me.  Oh she felt it vibrating hard.  She came immediately again while was in side her for only a minute.  Feeling her cum on my cock made me cum so hard so fast it was unbelievable.  Dam she wanted round two and round two now that never happen in 13 years we been together.  So hell ya Vice 2!!

I'm kind of new here, but really interested in learning about prostate stimulation/pleasure for when/if I ever get married.  It seems sad that men can't enjoy a certain part of their bodies just because of connotations.  Honestly, since I'm a Christian, I believe God made both male and female bodies to be enjoyed together in marriage, and I can't find anything in the Bible that says any part is off-limits.  So, I'm totally open to it.  Still haven't tried any kind of anal play on myself only because I'm still working to relax my tight pelvic muscles and enjoy vaginal penetration when masturbating.  But if I can get over that hump at least somewhat, I'll attempt it.  It's great to read stuff by other ladies.  Your experience will be very helpful to me!

Posted by: @lovelyloyallady

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I'm kind of new here, but really interested in learning about prostate stimulation/pleasure for when/if I ever get married.  It seems sad that men can't enjoy a certain part of their bodies just because of connotations.  Honestly, since I'm a Christian, I believe God made both male and female bodies to be enjoyed together in marriage, and I can't find anything in the Bible that says any part is off-limits.  So, I'm totally open to it.  Still haven't tried any kind of anal play on myself only because I'm still working to relax my tight pelvic muscles and enjoy vaginal penetration when masturbating.  But if I can get over that hump at least somewhat, I'll attempt it.  It's great to read stuff by other ladies.  Your experience will be very helpful to me!

For sure! So the way it started with my wife and I, and we've been together 25 years, was I simply wanted to find ways to have the strongest orgasms I've ever had. I'm an "orgasm chaser" if that's such a thing, and if there's a way to cum as hard as humanly possible, and then cum harder than that, that's what I'm all about. I was always interested in anal/prostate play, but didn't really know exactly how to make it work, or how to make it work with my wife involved. So early on, maybe about 3 years into our relationship, we bought her a dildo harness and a small, thin, 4" unremarkable dildo from Tantus (there weren't a lot of sex toy companies back then). I cleaned out with an anal enema, didn't know how to use it so it left me with a lot of gas (lol!), and she suited up and did me. It was pretty unremarkable. 🙁  I felt "something" but no idea what, it was just a pretty sexy, kinky event in our already varied and adventurous sex life together.

Then in fall of 2004, I think I got an ad in an email, or saw an ad on a porn site, I can't remember, but it was an ad for Aneros toys and it claimed "hands-free orgasms" and also enhanced, stronger orgasms and ejaculations. I HAD to get it! It was the old MGX, when there was no K-tab and K-tabs were still a few years off from release on the original Progasm. I got it and excitedly went in the side room alone, followed the instructions, got very ready, and gave it a try. It moved. I felt "something" and it felt good, but also, confusing: what was I supposed to feel, how would this make me feel, when does the "orgasm" start and what is it supposed to feel like anyway?? Needless to say I tried again a day or two later, and while I realized I couldn't tell what a prostate orgasm felt like, or anything related for that matter, I decided to get an erection and cum with the MGX still in me. OMG it was a cataclysmic-level orgasm/ejaculation!!! I had never imagined I could cum so hard before, or so completely and fully. Full drainage and the sense of being emptied out was exhilarating and highly relieving. I told my wife, she was so happy for me.

Then after a month or two I can't remember it was 20 years ago now, she was with me while I used the MGX. She gave me a blowjob when I had the toy in me. Hard to put into words, but parts of my insides were now fully connected with my penis and what she was doing to it with her mouth. It was completely new, it was indescribable, I had never felt such a deep physical connection between my prostate, anus, groin, penis, scrotum, perineum, and her sexual stimulation of me like this before, and I never imagined how connected everything could feel. Or how intense it would be!!! I remember we had sex while I had the toy in me and I was on top, and it kept falling out of me. I tried to finish with the toy in me, I pulled out to cum on her (a preference of ours due to her getting bladder infections from me finishing in her) and the toy shot out of me and landed like 10 feet away across the room when I came!!! While I missed that finishing feeling I was loving during solo sessions, it made for a much enhanced sensation during coitus and my O at the end was very strong.

Next time I used it, she was on top and finished me that way, we bit the bullet and she let me cum in her, and OMG I thought I melted away into nothing. The toy moves on its own during a man's traditional orgasm as the anus puckers rhythmically during orgasm (a woman's anus does the same thing to a degree), so the body of the Aneros thrusts in and out in sync with his penile orgasm and the toy hits the prostate, which generates more sexual stimulation, which drives the orgasmic ejaculation on and can actually prolong the orgasm and make it continue kind of all on its own. Cumming this way started to extend my own traditional orgasm, with or without a toy in me, beyond 20 seconds, then 30 seconds, then 45 seconds, and sometimes, if our lovemaking was very intense and long lasting, when I finally came it would sometimes last for 60+ seconds. I attribute all my heightened, lengthened, extended traditional orgasms to Aneros use, solely, it was the Aneros that made this all possible.

Aneros is fun to use during handjobs and blowjobs, and actually can be easier sometimes. I just lie on my back and my wife touches me all over my legs, my ass, my torso, and my scrotum, and the sensations are heightened and amplified due to the toy in me. Then after I have had several hands-free prostate orgasms, she'll go to work on my penis, and it is like penis stimulation x100. Over the top, way strong, sometimes I'm left reeling. When she finishes me when I have a toy in, with her hand but especially with her mouth, it is cataclysmic and beyond powerful, it seers my soul. Speechless. A quivering mess for minutes on end on the floor or bed, I'm unable to even move sometimes. 

I hope this quite explicit but informative set of anecdotes lets you know that there is a very wide world of sexual fun a man and woman can partake in with the aid of just a simple little sex toy 😉