A Wife's Perspective

Amy,

Given your description of your boyfriend’s reactions towards even subtle advances in this direction, I think it’s very doubtful that he will ever be open to sensual exploration of this kind. It seems like he has told you who he is already. For whatever reason, (be it homophobia, or rigid culturally engendered views on male sexuality) … he’s programmed against it. Even baiting him with a threesome might prove insufficient, and it could send a mixed message anyway (particularly if you’re not into group play yourself). Furthermore, if he’s really dead set against anal stimulation, such a scenario might lead to a terribly embarrassing situation for all.

At this point, my feeling is that if your desires are as strong as you’ve described, then you must have a candid and open discussion and let the chips fall where they may . Let him know that you are really turned on to his body…ALL of his body, and that you desire to caress and love him fully. Bring up his resistance over certain kinds of attention, and make him aware that you need more openness in your relationship together in order for you to be fulfilled. Frankly, I’m suggesting all of this for you , not for him, because as I stated at the outset I don’t really think that there is any changing such ideas when they are so strongly held. But I’m quite certain that if you didn’t attempt this and walked away from the relationship that you would always wonder...if I'd only..... But in any event, know this, being sexually compatible with a partner is no minor thing; it is an ESSENTIAL element of a successful relationship. So don’t discount your feelings! People who do only become increasingly frustrated and eventually sabotage their relationships out of resentment.

On a different note, you must know that there are SO many men out there who would worship a woman like you. Frankly your post was like catnip to me! The notion of a lady who is as excited as you are about exploring the deepest and most intimate recesses of a man’s body, is the ultimate fantasy for every straight member in this forum. Of course this is precisely how I feel about a woman’s body. It's so refreshing to hear a woman describes similar feelings. And yes, I delight in rimming also! I ‘ve never found a woman who didn’t enjoy this, particularly when I’ve used Gspot and clitoral stimulation simultaneously (a terrific technique for generating multiple orgasms).

As many in the forum are aware, I attended the Erotica LA convention with the Aneros reps this year. One of the most rewarding parts of the experience for me was having the opportunity to talk to women that came by who had the SAME desires as you’ve described. Some had their partners with them and some did not. As you might expect, a few of the guys needed a little coaxing. What was interesting was that as I explained how the Aneros worked, I could see the women getting excited about it, and invariably they would start talking their partners into trying it. There was this one couple in particular; the woman was a beautiful brunette, who had the most remarkable gleam in her eyes. As I described the Aneros experience I watched her gazing at her boyfriend in a way that said “ just wait ‘til I get you home…” The guy was funny he said to me “you know she really wants to play with my ass…” As we talked, I could just see them both getting revved up about it. They walked out of there with a SGX and a Helix (and a pocketful of complimentary lube) …it was great. I’m sure she has him lit up by now!

Anyway this is the kind of relationship that you deserve. You are clearly a caring generous lover who desires a higher order of erotic interaction with a partner. Don’t settle for any less!

Sincerely,

BF Mayfield

P.S. Do you ever get out to L.A.? 😉 lol

The Aneros was suggested on a sex forum my husband and I frequent. My husband is 24. He's always been very against anal play until I mentioned it on one of the posts. Now, he's thinking about it. Someone posted the link for the Aneros and I decided to check it out. I showed it to him and we decided to order it so it's here when he works up the nerve to try it out. I'm sure it will take a lot of talking through it and him trying it out on his own for a while before he is comfortable enough to do it in front of me. Either way, I'm super excited to see the pleasure he gets from it and incorporate it into our sex life.

Marlotta

Thanks for the great responses!
As I was typing out the situation, it really helped me think it out, and I kind of came to the conclusion on my own that "B Mayfield" wrote... You're right, sexual compatibility is a must, no matter how good the rest of the relationship is. He may decide to explore new things just to keep me, but then he wouldn't be enjoying it, and that just takes out all the fun. So I think I already knew it wasn't going to work out, but needed that whole third persepective to admit it. Anyways, I told him that I wasn't feeling sexually satisfied and that it was starting to drive me away. I also said that it wasn't a lack of "skill" on his part, but a lack of interest in a deeper sexual experience and trying new things, which are important to me. I think he still took it the wrong way, but I was as careful and caring with my wording as anyone could expect me to be... He got upset and couldn't figure out what I was talking about, saying how he's "ALWAYS up for sex!" So I said, "how bout something different then? You take this digital camera and be the photographer for a dirty magazine, and I'll be the model, and you direct me into progressively more explicit poses until we're both too turned on to finish the photoshoot." He didn't say anything and gave me this really weird look after that, which pretty much killed my interest... Soooo I said "that's what I mean... I'm tired of constantly trying to talk you into things just to have you make me feel like I'm being too freaky. As far as I'm concerned, what I said just now is still really tame. You've known we're sexually different for a long time, and I need to find someone more like me. i'm sorry..."
So I can't say it was easy, but I'm not nearly as heartbroken as I thought I'd be. I'm actually a little relieved, I guess hiding the strength of my sexuality had been turning into a real burden. For example, I own a (rather large) collection of sensual oils, flavored creams, blindfolds, toys, etc, and when I showed him a vibrator once, it intimidated him and freaked him out so badly that I've been trying to keep my collection hidden and worrying that he'd find it ever since! It sounds pretty silly now, but just a few days ago it was such a big source of angst and guilty
desire. I was putting myself through a lot and didn't even exactly realize it...
Anyways, I have to admit, reading this forum peaks my interest about all the other possibilities that could be out there for me... there's clearly quite a few more open-minded men around than I knew, guess I just haven't found any of them yet... hmmm... And I thought eveyone might be interested in how this turned out, so there ya go, that's the story.
thanks again for your input!

Amy,

Congratulations,... you were honest with your boyfriend and yourself! I'm confident that you will end up with someone more compatible...and he will too.

I have to say I'm really impressed with how you drew him out (your X rated photo phantasy)! Man you are one hot lady! In reading your description, it made me feel like I'm being short changed myself! You're very creative!

For the future, I suggest that you be open with your desires. And if your sharing is ever greeted by grimaces......BAIL! You are a lady who's ideas should be met with thunderous applause! If you're open with people about what you like.....in the way that you've been here....my guess is that there are few that won't want to go along for the ride. You might start with your "photo phantasy" to get things heated up a bit...then ratchet it up to taste!

If you're up for a more in your face approach try asking for some yourself. I don't know if you enjoy rimming (recieving) or not..but the way that I see it, a girl like you deserves a guy that will pleasure her in this way. The idea is; teach by example, / turnabout is fair play

Let me backpedal on one thing I said. With respect to anal, there are some guys that may need to be introduced slowly. That is, there are those who are not necessarily enamoured with it initially that will, (given the proper context) learn to love anal play. So keep this in mind.

You might also try being demonstrative in your approach. For example, start with some perineal massage (the area between the scrotum and anus) combined with oral/genital contact. If this goes over well, replace your fingers (on the perineum) with your tongue and then slowly work your way down... to some rimming.

Bear in mind that with someone who is an anal novice, it's always a good idea to combine the NEW with the FAMILIAR . So try to maintain some penile contact if at all possible. Better yet, make him come by this method....a good orgasm is excellent form of reinforcement.

BF Mayfield

I suspect your b/f may have had a bad anal experience whan a lot younger,
as you may be aware, most young boys usually experience some form of homosexuality and then just move on to being normally hetro, some however react quite differently and if the experience was not pleasant or was painful in some way, it probably has long lasting effects which may only subside in much later years.You made the right decision and will probably be the best for him in the long term.

Hi,
Just wanted to add another woman perspective in! I am 24 years old and pretty sexual explicit - I am not shy, love sex but am inexperienced and a bit shy when it comes to bum stuff. My 2 cents worth is this:

I have had two boyfriends who love butt stuff. My first one didn't do it with me (age 13-21) but we have discussed it after we broke up and he really enjoys bum things. But he swore me to secrecy, about the fact that he owns a butt plug. My other more recent boyfriend absolutely loved sticking things up his bum, and absolutley shocked (and I have to say a little grossed out) by putting my huge dildo all the way up his bum, and loving it. I have always licked his bum, and sometimes put a finger in during sex, but most of his fun was when he was masturbating by himself. (Our sex life deteriorated because of his premature ejaculation problems that never seemed to be able to be solved.)

I am currently working on a writing assignment that requires me to research the Aneros, and what I've read has made me want to buy 4: one for each of my exes, one for me to do experiments on my next boyfriends/shags and one for a guy who I am meeting up with in a few months for one night. I now understand why the butt is so good for men.

My problem, why I got a bit grossed out, was becuase I didn't understand what was up there and why it was so good. Nobody ever taught me, and my boyfriends could only say "its really good" (even though all of us are sexually experimental and open minded). Another reason I didn't like it so much was becuase I wasn't part of it - it was a solo thing for them, and they never taught me how or involved me in it, so I was 'useless'.

In this respect, this is like women who hate their men looking at porn - because it doesn't include them. I have tried anal sex for myself before without much success (my first boyfriend had a very large penis). But now I realise how much I have been missing, in both my understanding and acceptance of my mens anal pleasure. I understand it now, and feel sorry that I was unable to be a part of the fun for so long.

(I am pleased to announce that last night I deflowered my butt by myself, so I am now no longer a butt-virgin. I was always keen for it, but put off by pain etc.)

Since reading so much about the Aneros, for my research, I am now feeling so open and informed - I now know why it works, how it works, what are the best methods and all the ins and outs. I feel empowered and confident and ready to try anything butt related now.

So, perhaps a good way to help your women is to inform them with reading - that way they can go over it at their own pace, and absorb the information however they feel comfortable. If they are anything like me, soon enough they will be saying, so where do we buy one?!

Women are afraid of things they dont understand when it comes to sex (just like men I suppose) and a lot of women really struggle to understand men on this level because our needs and desires seem so different. So... I guess this has helped me a lot. Send them to the forums and the information site! Who could not want their man to experience a full body, continuous, several-minute-long, non-ejaculatory orgasm!!! That seems like a gift, if there ever was one.

I have to say I'm a bit jealous....: ) It sounds fantastic.

I am 22 and wish I could meet girls like Melissa.

You girls sound amazing and I wish their were more girls like you out there. I have had no luck, kind of how you refer to not being able to find guys -- I cannot find any women with open minds. Have failed on many occasions.

Just sharing my story.

BTW, Jane.. not sure if oyu still post here cuz your last posts seem old - but you are a great poster, and I really enjoy reading your insight.

Sounds hot Jeeves, let's hook up! 😉

Seriously, though, I think sexually "adventurous" women have an even harder time finding open-minded men than vice versa, but that's just my own personal experience. Probably means I'm just looking in the wrong place... But god bless the internet for providing people with an anonymous atmosphere to talk about what they really feel.

peace

Amy,

Hope everything has gone well with you since your break up (you did break up right?). I still think about the delightful photophantasy that you discussed, ( I even visualize using mental images of this on occasion). I hope all is well by you and I'm glad to see that you're still checking in on us here. If we can ever be of service,..chime in!

BF Mayfield

I just got married a week ago to a man that I have been dating for a year and a half. I've known him since high school. Although the two of us are highly experimental (only between ourselves, we do not include other parties, nor do we do anything we think will hurt the other) he was extremely touchy about the idea of letting me use prostate stimulation to further his pleasure. Last night, I very slowly coaxed him into letting me. He absolutely loved it, but his only complaint was that insertion and removal of my finger (I used lotion on my hands only to ensure that I knew exactly how far in I was going)hurt him just a little. He said it wasn't really enough to bother him, but I was actually hoping one of you might know something that would help. He sas he wouldn't mind me doing that as long as I only use my fingers and so long as I can find a way that it doesn't hurt him as much. I hate to sound so clueless, but y'all seem to know a lot about this...

(this post was edited 2005-11-23 11:25:47)

PrettyPuma,

What a lucky guy to have a lady that cares this much about his pleasure and his comfort! First, I would suggest investing in some good water based (glycerin based) lube. KY, WET, ID Glide, Astroglide are all examples of this (I like KY jelly myself). STAY AWAY from "warming" type lubricants or those containing spermicidal ingredients (nonoxynol-9). They can cause desensitization or worse yet irritation.

Most lotions and creams are oil based formulations great for topical application, but are no where near as slippery as a decent water based lube. They may also cause irritation of the sensative anal and rectal tissues.

In terms of technique, consider engaging in a little anal foreplay prior to any penetration. If he's squeeky clean (just out of the shower), and you are so disposed, you might try a little oral-anal teasing. If this isn't your thing, try applying some lube to his anus, then give him a nice gentle massage on the exterior of his anus first. This will relax him and his anus, allowing him to become more accustomed to these sensations (making it easier to penetrate). Hopefully it will begin to turn him on as well, such that he will desire the penetration.

Make certain that your fingernails are smooth and nicely clipped prior to attempting any insertion. Another alternative would be to use a latex or vinyl exam glove (although this isn't as pleasant). This is very important, as you want to avoid hurting him with a sharp finger nail.

Now experiment with a limited penetration, preferably with a smaller finger. This must be done slowly, remembering that as you introduce your finger you are also lubricating the inner recesses of his anus. So, work slowly in and then pull out, (just a fraction of an inch at a time) being careful to always take in some of the lubrication from around the exterior of his anus with you. Reapply lubrication if necessary, and remember the anus and rectum ARE NOT self lubricating so you must do this for him. Again, slow in and out, going deeper...gradually.

Over time you will begin to feel his anus relax, you may want to introduce a larger finger (if it's more comfortable for you) at this time. Remember to lubricate it prior to insertion.

Things to try; move your finger gently in a very small circular motion so that you are going around and around the circumference of his anus. Lick or massage his perineum (the area between his anus and scrotum) simulataneously. See if you can find his perineal accupressure spot. When properly stimulated this area can produce sensation in the anus, perineum, prostate and penis all at the same time! You may consider stroking his penis or using you mouth on it too of course. If you do this at the same time, be prepared for an intense orgasm! Massaging his prostate is another option too...but that's probably best left for another day. Get him comfortable with this first.

In all of these things TAKE YOUR CUES FROM HIM, he will likely demonstrate his pleasure or discomfort, so be observant.

If you have any other questions, feel free to post or email. If not, let us know of the results!

Good Luck,

BF Mayfield

P.S. If he's still uncomfortable, talk to him (sensuously) while you're doing this. Sometimes it's important to reinforce that this IS a loving thing! Particularly if a guy finds this kind of play awkward at first. You can even engage in some "nasty chat" ... some men really like it (I know I do) 🙂

Originally Posted By: jane
Hi

Well, I understand it's a bit of a toboo for some, but hey life's short enough without hangups. A couple of my girlfriends were interested as their partners were also having a couple of problems, but they haven't done anything about it as they think it won't go down well. There's still a way to go. I've sworn all my friends to total secrecy as my marriage will be over if Pete gets any jokes at his expense in the locker room. He's happy with the benefits but won't tell his friends anything.

Pete got a perspex wand thingy that he thought was good for really hard massage to release fluid, but sore when used for a longer period. Also too easy to insert too far when he climaxed, which worried him a bit. Therapist also sold him a normal dildo which has never ever been used by Pete becasue it looks like a real cock and he doesn't want to seem gay! It's pretty awful in any case. And a smallish vibe which Pete found uncomfortable - but I use it to vibrate the aneros sometimes and he has found the experience pretty good.

Maybe it's tiem for a partner forum where wives and girlfriends can learn. After all we obsess over our g-spots and other bits, which can seem just a gross at times!

Jane

Jane using a strap-on dildo on Pete can work just as well.If you can coax him to overcome his homophobia it may be worth a try.And if you use a model with a vaginal and anal insert it can be qiute rewarding for you as well.

Suze

Originally Posted By: Puma
I just got married a week ago to a man that I have been dating for a year and a half. I've known him since high school. Although the two of us are highly experimental (only between ourselves, we do not include other parties, nor do we do anything we think will hurt the other) he was extremely touchy about the idea of letting me use prostate stimulation to further his pleasure. Last night, I very slowly coaxed him into letting me. He absolutely loved it, but his only complaint was that insertion and removal of my finger (I used lotion on my hands only to ensure that I knew exactly how far in I was going)hurt him just a little. He said it wasn't really enough to bother him, but I was actually hoping one of you might know something that would help. He sas he wouldn't mind me doing that as long as I only use my fingers and so long as I can find a way that it doesn't hurt him as much. I hate to sound so clueless, but y'all seem to know a lot about this...

Using your finger is not the safest way especially if your nail is sharp at any point.It would be better to use a small silicone dildo.Yoy may want to use a non-anatomical one so you do not add to his anxiety.One with an on-off vibrating switch if turned on at the point of climax.Remember,even if he has strong inhibitions if you can make the experience very pleasurable he will ask for more.

dfwOO,

This forum is indeed dedicated to the anal pleasures of men. However, the anal pleasures of men are not at all inconsistent with female participation, that is if one is heterosexual. If one is not, it's easy enough to bypass this thread, A Wife's Perspective entirely...if you should so choose.

The fact is that the Aneros may complement heterosexual, homosexual or more onanistic (solo) pursuits. Such diversity has been encouraged here in this forum.

I for one am overjoyed to read all of the comments posted here. I know that they have been of tremendous benefit to many. They have never been off topic in so far as I can see. To the contrary, they have helped a great many (heterosexual) men out there broach the subject of anal/prostate stimulation and discover techniques on integrating it into their exploits with their partners.

Ladies, please keep it coming!

BF Mayfield

P.S. I should mention that I was one of several users that conceived of having a special thread reserved for the ladies in the first place, so perhaps I'm a bit biased on the subject.

Hi all, well it's been a while but I have been looking in and seeing what everyone has been saying, and I have to say I feel humble at such great posts. Pete and I haven't been doing so much that's different from what you already know, and the Aneros is still giving us great pleasure. I have to say he isn't homophobic and it does hurt a litle to think that I may have made it appear that way. He simply found the dildo shaped like a cock repulsive to him, and I tended to share his view. And, like many men, he's a bit shy about admitting to others that he enjoys bum play. Anyway, you might be interested to hear that we've been trying out non-penetrative stimulation using a small vibe, a bit bigger than the bullet ones you see. When pressed very firmly between his balls and his anus there is a spot that starts to turn him on. Kept there, the vibe casues his erection to get harder and when masturbating he has found that if I keep pressing the vibe in to this spot it delays ejaculation until after a sizeable orgasm, and when I then stop he ejaculates harder and further than usual. We've tried it with and without the vibe, leaving each test a few days apart so that he should expel the same amount of fluid, and it's much more noticeable how greater the amount is when the vibe is used.

We have also tried penetration using a jelly dildo recommended by our therapist. It's long -very long! - but soft and squidgy. After some fiddling we got it through Pete's sphincter - the softness being the problem - and fed it slowly into his anus. He took it all without feeling any discomfort -shorter "normal" dildos cased pain when in beyond Aneros length -and I then moved it very very slowly in and out. He found this to be an awesome experience as it seemed to stimulate his prostate and an area beyond. The result was a tiny trickle of fluid and a semi erection which, when touched, ejaculated normal spermy fluid followed by quite a lot of thinner liquid! Pete compared it to the Aneros saying one was like a good deep muscle massage which really unknots you, and the other was more like being gently stroked.

Needless to say emptiness is everything and we never play without totally cleaning ourselves out. And lots of lube. I have as much fun with Anal play as Pete, but differently. But that's not for this forum. So bye for now

Love Jane

It is nice that we have women like this talk about have a good times with men that like to emprove there six life with this.. I hope we have more women on there to talk about it... Give there thing about it... thank you...

(this post was edited 2006-02-05 16:00:09)

Originally Posted By: jane
Hi all, well it's been a while but I have been looking in and seeing what everyone has been saying, and I have to say I feel humble at such great posts. Pete and I haven't been doing so much that's different from what you already know, and the Aneros is still giving us great pleasure. I have to say he isn't homophobic and it does hurt a litle to think that I may have made it appear that way. He simply found the dildo shaped like a cock repulsive to him, and I tended to share his view. And, like many men, he's a bit shy about admitting to others that he enjoys bum play. Anyway, you might be interested to hear that we've been trying out non-penetrative stimulation using a small vibe, a bit bigger than the bullet ones you see. When pressed very firmly between his balls and his anus there is a spot that starts to turn him on. Kept there, the vibe casues his erection to get harder and when masturbating he has found that if I keep pressing the vibe in to this spot it delays ejaculation until after a sizeable orgasm, and when I then stop he ejaculates harder and further than usual. We've tried it with and without the vibe, leaving each test a few days apart so that he should expel the same amount of fluid, and it's much more noticeable how greater the amount is when the vibe is used.

We have also tried penetration using a jelly dildo recommended by our therapist. It's long -very long! - but soft and squidgy. After some fiddling we got it through Pete's sphincter - the softness being the problem - and fed it slowly into his anus. He took it all without feeling any discomfort -shorter "normal" dildos cased pain when in beyond Aneros length -and I then moved it very very slowly in and out. He found this to be an awesome experience as it seemed to stimulate his prostate and an area beyond. The result was a tiny trickle of fluid and a semi erection which, when touched, ejaculated normal spermy fluid followed by quite a lot of thinner liquid! Pete compared it to the Aneros saying one was like a good deep muscle massage which really unknots you, and the other was more like being gently stroked.

Needless to say emptiness is everything and we never play without totally cleaning ourselves out. And lots of lube. I have as much fun with Anal play as Pete, but differently. But that's not for this forum. So bye for now

Love Jane

Dear Lady Jane,

Glad to hear from you a'GAIN. You always amaze with the openness and generosity that you show your partner. You are one dedicated lady! WOW! So how long and thick is this silicone dil anyway? Also, when you refer to stimulating his balls and anus (without penetration), perhaps what you've accessed tangentially is the perineal accupressure point (an area I've often referred to as the "sweet spot'). I've developed the ability to have Super O's from massaging this area alone. Stimulation of this area can make for powerful ejaculatory orgasms as well.

Despite what some others may think, I for one would love to hear some tidbits about YOUR own anal exploits. For instance, do you climax from anal stimulation alone? Btw. I consider such details definitely ON TOPIC as they encourage us all to broaden our perspectives. After all, what's good for the gander is good for the goose ... yes? I've long been an advocate of turning women on to anal stimulation as means of gaining an opening for.. reciprocation.

Any information that you could give on anal techniques for women would ultimately serve that purpose. Consider it please!

Be well!

BF Mayfield

This is one awesome thread, very informative.

One thing not mentioned that I discovered myself is that there is a big learning curve that includes educuation. The Aneros is the best thing since sliced bread, those that have used it understand. I have been married 25 years, we are intimate and share our feelings.

The stigma of our backsides and liking stimulation takes time not to be self concious for most men. Gay guys have a big advantage there. When my wife first started with fingers, I loved it, but felt guilty showing it. Thankfully she could read my body language. Never pushing and always talking we discoverd butt plugs and vibrators together. Awesome pleasure but still some guilty feelings, we took a long time and talked alot. After two years of this she supprised me one night. During a hot tub soak she then produced the Aneros. Blushing I let her slide it into place. Instantly the feeling was overwhelming. I stood facing her holding on for dear life as my mussles involentary movement worked that toy and me into three orgasam waves, yet no ejaculation. It was wild. When she started to remove it, I orgasamed fluid everywhere. I was embarassed, but thrilled she had done it.

Since then she has shown me more, but I have had to overcome homophobic feelings. One night after my shower, she discoverd I had my Aneros in place. Patting my backside she disapeared to "leve me to my fun". I was shocked when she returned with a cowboy hat, black fishnet stockings, black teddy, black spike heels, and wearing a purple harness with a very real looking cock sicking up! Blushing I did not know what to say. She started the music and slid into the bed beside me. I did not know what to do, or say. She whispered in my ear that tonight was all about me and how she had wanted to give me what I really wanted for a long time! I just let it all happen. I have grown enough to try anything in the search of pleasure. I orgasamed twice as she toyed with the Aneros before removing it. Totaly embarrased, but excited none the less when she pulled me up to my knees, on the edge of the bed. Stepping in behind me, she then gave me the most intense pleasure of my life. Its still hard to be this open that it felt so good. I am not gay, but life without the Aneros and the orgasams that it has taught me, and the other pleasures that I have learned would be pretty dull.

Thanks for a wonderfull product.

Hello Sam,
You are so lucky to have a wife like yours. One who isn't afraid to show you the other not so popular way to have sexual fulfillment. You must feel awfully lucky. Have fun with the aneros and tell your wife she is "really special"....nood

Hey, I was just wondering if any of the ladies out there have ever tried this themselves. Now I have a basic understanding of the human body, and the differences between men and women, and I realize that the Aneros is made for men as a prostate stimulator, but I was wondering if any women have used it (either analy or vaginaly) and what their experiences with it were.

Originally Posted By: Billdo

Originally Posted By: Jack
This is a very interesting thread. I am 53 and have had some E.D. for the last 2 years. About 12 months ago I bought a "g" spot style 8" vibrator, and have experimented with it a lot. I have always loved a good prostate massage, which I first experienced at 21 years old from a Korean girlfriend, while she gave me exquisite head. I got over any "homophobic" hangups back then, and have always enjoyed anal stimulation (finger, tongue, even a couple of two finger massages by male massuers long, long ago). My PSA is normal and I do not have any urination problems or pain, but when I began stimulation of my prostate with the g-spot vibe, I could actually feel the expulsion of "congested" semen (I had a vasectomy 16 years ago). As I continued to stroke my cock the semen would come out, and some 1/4" to 1/2" long strings of "congealed" clear/yellow semen, about a pencil lead in diameter. I now massage my prostate about every 2 days, and have better ejaculate amounts and shoot further.
My wife (of 28 years) has massaged me digitally, and she will use the g-spot vib on me when I ask (I usually give her a slow, mind-blowing oral orgasm first), and she enjoys stroking me and watching me come. We have always been very open about what feels good--and I have always made sure she has 1 orgasm first before I pop my rocks. But I am going to order an Aneros and use it during intercourse, to see if it will stimulate me and maybe eliminate the need for Viagra. I can always get a nice hardon, and often wake up with a hardon, but sometimes it fades after 10-15 minutes. I have always needed 15-30 minutes of actual stimulation (by hand, mouth, or in her vagina or anus) to reach orgasm--I'm the reverse of most men, and have never had premature or "too soon" ejaculation. We would both like it if I could pop in 5-10 minutes, as I enjoy foreplay so much that she often has her first orgasm within 2 or 3 minutes after I penetrate her.
Maybe the Aneros will speed up my ejaculation.
I'm basing my hopes on the one time in my life (30 years ago) when I had a 3-some with 2 Korean girls. I was fucking one missionary style and the other rimmed my anus and then inserted one, and finally two fingers and massaged my prostate--I blew so stongly and had such intense sphincter contractions that Kim said I hurt her fingers! I would love to feel that again--(I've tried to orgasm with a vibrator in my ass while fucking my wife, but my contractions expel the vib just as I orgasm).
Jane--thanks for all your comments, very good reading.
Men-don't be afraid of anal stimulation, it's all about who you are with, not what you're doing--the anus has an amazing amount of nerve endings!

Trust me, if you use it during sex you'll be able to climax much faster...if that's what you want.

I've never had any erection problems but I do take a LONG time to climax. Judicious use of the Aneros MGX results in my being able to climax much sooner if desired. It just builds faster and little squeezes on my part allow me to manage my own level of stimulation while receiving manual, or oral stimulation, or during intercourse.

It is the difference between a 30 minute blowjob that feels great and a 10 minute blowjob that feels awesome!

Thank you for finally answering Jack's question as to whether or not the aneros would speed up the time to ejaculation. My husband has never had any erectile dysfunction but has long had "to work too hard" (as he would say) to reach orgasm. So I was very intrigued by the aneros when I first saw it. Having finally found this site and forum I am ready order our first.
We are both in our early fifties and have for many years enjoyed anal play--in both directions! While we started out with touching and stroking, we did progress to fingering and finally the "bend over boyfriend". As someone said earlier much of sex is in the mind and that's why giving pleasure is in itself pleasurable!
I am a little confused though on the different choices of aneros. Anyone have any suggestions?

(this post was edited 2006-03-04 06:48:26)

Originally Posted By: jane
Hi, and I didn't realise what I kicked off. What great comments from everyone. My girlfriends do tend to confirm that, in public, men are really anti-anal, but in private a surprising number enjoy a degree of stimulation during sex. Rarely as foreplay but ususally in the heat of intercourse when animal instinct takes control of them! Favourite seems to be for the girl to use her vibrator - letting it "slip" from her vagina to his anus douring the exertions. Or a finger brushing him. This proves we girls can multi task. Reactions are "wow", but rarely discussed afterwards.

I think you'll enjoy the Aneros experience when it arrives as you won't shoot it out over your wife's legs (if missionary) and Pete finds that keeping it in isn't difficult but the technique for doing so adds to the pleasure. Doggy is good. And your wife sounds so understanding and experimental.

However I don't think that the Aneros experience will compare with your threesome! But tell us if it does. We have involved one very close friend in our intimacy and found it an intense and extremely erotic experience, simply because involving another person brings touch, warmth and mystery. Our mututal Aneros experience is, for Pete, physically probably more satisfying but emotionally less so.

Lots of love

Jane

Jane et toute, bonjour from France.

We've had our aneros for about 6 months. FirstWife (of 33 years) and I find it very stimulating and satisfying. I usually insert it myself and spend 10-15 minutes concentrating on bringing myself to orgasm, whilst we both cuddle. Watching me come to a personal orgasm usually excites FirstWife to the point of masturbating herself, which in turn frequently bring us to intercourse. This is usually slow and passionate, with us both having several personal orgasms befor I explode my penile load.

In the past, this last ejaculation would normaly have meant the end to our love making for the day (as we get older... sometimes for the week). But with aneros I am often ready to go again within a few hours, just as we used to be in our 20's.

We also find it very useful in a threesome. Our regular GirlFriend (of 11 years) is delighted at the effect aneros has had on my staying power. It seems to have re-ignited the passion for us all.

We also find the group scene more attractive now. I am very happy to stand on the side-lines now and watch FirstWife and/or GirlFriend deplete the energies of others, whilst having the most powerful rectal orgasms.

Originally Posted By: pam

I am a little confused though on the different choices of aneros. Anyone have any suggestions?

Pam,

Check out my Aneros the Next Generation Reviewed thread for an overview of the 3 most current models. The standard prior to the introduction of these new units was the MGX. Cutting to the chase, I would say for a newbie, your choice is between the MGX and the Helix. Of the two, I'm a bit more partial to the Helix myself, but they are both good units for first timers.

Enjoy and please let us know of your progress!

BF Mayfield

I reckoned that since I perform the "wifely duties" I could post in this thread. I hope the wives don't mind. As an elite escort, we are privy to trade secrets that they definitely don't teach you in sex ed. About half of my customers are so excited by my illicit-ness that they come right away. The other half are seemingly porn-stars that without a little help would pound away for hours.

If a guy is taking too long and ****ing you raw, I really don't think its any fun for either party. I just reach under him (while on top) and slip a finger in his ass and stroke. This little trick has never failed me and most guys actually thank me or at least seem very appreciative as if it was exactly what they needed. Anal play is really not as uncommon as most people think. You know what else? It really calms the beast. Even my most aggressive customers are like little puppies after a little prostate play.

Anyway, I'm thinking about adding the Aneros to my briefcase o' goodies. It sounds like it would make my job alot easier! I just thought this was a really interesting website. I've known about this hotspot for years and I just assumed that everyone else did too.

This has been one incredible thread! I actually feel rather proud of myself for being open minded. I would never feel awkward showing the Aneros to a partner. As a matter of fact, it just my be the barometer I use for my next mate. If she accepts it, she's a keeper. If she runs away screaming then I'll simply shut the door behind her.

All of you ladies are simply awesome!

Hey, I would just like to know, If most women out there, aged 18-25 would most likely be interested by pleasuring they're lovers anally via the prostate and/or with the Aneros. It seems to me like they would, seeing the responses from women of different ages. Seeing this actually suprises me. Im 19 years old by the way. Any responses would be nice, thanks

Chris

Originally Posted By: jane
Hi

I hope it's ok for a woman to post a message, but my husband won't do it and I wanted to share our experience of an Aneros couple. It started nearly two years ago when Pete had trouble holding his erection and his ejaculate was thin not nice, and ejaculating itself was a little bit sore at times. The doc checked him over, said he might have a bit of prostatis which we knew nothing about. Oferred a course of massage which seemed to work but embarassed Pete a lot. However, by the end of the course he was harder again, the soreness had gone and his semen was in better shape. But within three months the old signs returned, albeit much less than before. He, and I, were worried and ready to go back to doc when we saw an alternative therapy clinic advertise prostate treatments. Thought we'd try and found more massage but with implements not fingers. Pete thought it worked better though it was probably becasue a finger wasn't poking inside of him. The therapist sold him some stuff, including an aneros, and suggested he try them out on his own as the treatment didn't need any special expertise. Pete did, only when I was out, again becasue of the connotations of a man poking his own bum. Over the last year he was noticeably better in bed, happier and him peeing sounded like a tap turned full on. I was interested but he'd keep me at a distance. Until I decided to confront him, making sure we didn't spend time apart for a couple of weeks so he couldn't find the time to be alon with his aneros. Eventually he gave in and allowed me to observe. After all I used my vibe when he was about, so what was tht different. When I dd get to watch I was stunned to see Pete convulse when using the aneros and to spontaneously ejaculate without touching his penis. Just by contacting; it hit me that he was doing the same pc exercises that I used. So I wanted him in me with it in him and when we did this he moaned like no other time, was hard and had stamina I'd not seen for a long time. We both really got off on the experience and his super orgasm helped my orgasms. We now set special Aneros time aside when we talk about it and use it so we know better how it works for us. We've become closer with a special more intimate bond - he's happier and healthier. And I'm enjoying each lay as though I'd got a new man! So, thank you Aneros!

Jane

PS Why is it that men using the aneros is so secret when we women have been using vibes for years and they are now sold everywhere. God, even my local pharmacy has some discreet models on sale. And regular TV shows plastic cocks in dramas and comedies. Yet a man and his bum is still taboo! So mad...........

I hope to answer your question. I THINK, it is because we were taught that it is just that TABOO, for us to penetrated at all. I mean there are lots of women who dont even consider having anal sex but if a straight man likes it, WHOA! WHATS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? I am straight, HANDS DOWN! I love everything about women, their smell, touch, the way they feel and taste but I do like anal stimulation too. It is even better when my wife watches and helps. I am happy for the two of you re-descovering your sex life have fun.

Originally Posted By: Don

Originally Posted By: jane
Hi

I hope it's ok for a woman to post a message, but my husband won't do it and I wanted to share our experience of an Aneros couple. It started nearly two years ago when Pete had trouble holding his erection and his ejaculate was thin not nice, and ejaculating itself was a little bit sore at times. The doc checked him over, said he might have a bit of prostatis which we knew nothing about. Oferred a course of massage which seemed to work but embarassed Pete a lot. However, by the end of the course he was harder again, the soreness had gone and his semen was in better shape. But within three months the old signs returned, albeit much less than before. He, and I, were worried and ready to go back to doc when we saw an alternative therapy clinic advertise prostate treatments. Thought we'd try and found more massage but with implements not fingers. Pete thought it worked better though it was probably becasue a finger wasn't poking inside of him. The therapist sold him some stuff, including an aneros, and suggested he try them out on his own as the treatment didn't need any special expertise. Pete did, only when I was out, again becasue of the connotations of a man poking his own bum. Over the last year he was noticeably better in bed, happier and him peeing sounded like a tap turned full on. I was interested but he'd keep me at a distance. Until I decided to confront him, making sure we didn't spend time apart for a couple of weeks so he couldn't find the time to be alon with his aneros. Eventually he gave in and allowed me to observe. After all I used my vibe when he was about, so what was tht different. When I dd get to watch I was stunned to see Pete convulse when using the aneros and to spontaneously ejaculate without touching his penis. Just by contacting; it hit me that he was doing the same pc exercises that I used. So I wanted him in me with it in him and when we did this he moaned like no other time, was hard and had stamina I'd not seen for a long time. We both really got off on the experience and his super orgasm helped my orgasms. We now set special Aneros time aside when we talk about it and use it so we know better how it works for us. We've become closer with a special more intimate bond - he's happier and healthier. And I'm enjoying each lay as though I'd got a new man! So, thank you Aneros!

Jane

PS Why is it that men using the aneros is so secret when we women have been using vibes for years and they are now sold everywhere. God, even my local pharmacy has some discreet models on sale. And regular TV shows plastic cocks in dramas and comedies. Yet a man and his bum is still taboo! So mad...........

I hope to answer your question. I THINK, it is because we were taught that it is just that TABOO, for us to penetrated at all. I mean there are lots of women who dont even consider having anal sex but if a straight man likes it, WHOA! WHATS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? I am straight, HANDS DOWN! I love everything about women, their smell, touch, the way they feel and taste but I do like anal stimulation too. It is even better when my wife watches and helps. I am happy for the two of you re-descovering your sex life have fun.

Having just recieved the aneros, the wife and I put it to use. I have bph, and some ed. After reading Jane's posts, we were convinced to buy this item. After 1 use we're hooked, and really can't wait to pput it to use again soon! Thanks for your openness and posts Jane

Hi all. I'm a 21 year-old female and I give adult home parties for a living. I'm just wondering what you all think the reaction would be like if I were to present the Aneros at a party? I'm also trying to convince my husband to let me buy one for us. 🙂 Any replies would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Melanie

P.S.- Jane, I hope that I am still as open and fun as you are when I've been married to my husband as long as you've been married to yours. You are a great inspiration! I thought I was the only one who wanted to make sex better for my husband!

(this post was edited 2006-05-14 01:56:20)

Originally Posted By: Melanie
Hi all. I'm a 21 year-old female and I give adult home parties for a living. I'm just wondering what you all think the reaction would be like if I were to present the Aneros at a party? I'm also trying to convince my husband to let me buy one for us. 🙂 Any replies would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Melanie

P.S.- Jane, I hope that I am still as open and fun as you are when I've been married to my husband as long as you've been married to yours. You are a great inspiration! I thought I was the only one who wanted to make sex better for my husband!

Melanie,

Not knowing precisely what you mean by adult home party it's hard for me to render an opinion.....(but I'll try anyway). If you're talking about the type of party wherein different types of adult novelties are presented or where actual interaction (swinging) goes on, it's my guess that the Aneros could really ramp things up for you. If you've read through this thread, you'll know however that there is a certain amount of resistance to anal play that's out there. Largely fueled by homophobia, such feelings have been known to take hold even in some more liberated circles. That said, I wouldn't let it discourage you. Let's face it...a dildo is a dildo is a dildo and the same can be said for vibrators. They've been making virtually the same products for decades and repackaging them to entice people to buy them.

The Aneros is a UNIQUE item. No fancy package with an XXX rated star/starlett on the insert. It's not glow-in-the dark, it doesn't flash and it WON"T play the Star Spangled Banner either. It's not a toy, but an effective sexual aid or tool. The unit can be used right out of the box to enhance traditional sexual encounters (affording prostate massage while engaging in intercourse or any number of other activities). Such play will invariable lead to orgasms of magnificient intensity (and volume). Secondly, as you may have gathered, there is this potential for a whole new sexual experience as well; the non-ejaculatory, whole body orgasm, that we call the Super O. So I guess your choice comes down to this; take the risk and try introducing something new that could possible change some lives, or ....well, ...there's always another dil out there.

As an aside, I'll tell you that last year I was asked by the people at Aneros to be a guest of theirs at the Erotica L.A. convention. The one thing that surprised me to no end was the predominance of WOMEN that came up to the booth. Some came with their partners some came alone. In all cases they were looking for something NEW to enrich the quality of their sex lives. I suspect also that they themselves had some curiosity and excitement about giving anal pleasure. I admired these women (as I admire you and the other women who've posted in this thread) who care enough about pleasing their partners to really...step out of the norm.

In practical terms, if these parties that you give are restricted to women...by all means give it a shot....what do you have to lose? If they are couples events, then you might want to see how things go with your husband prior to doing this. Why? Because it might give you some first-hand experience on how men are around this subject. This background would quite valuable when it came to selling the concept to others. Secondly, if things go well with your husband....you'd have the advantage of being able to talk from personal experience about it....what it did for the both of you. Even if you're husband DOESN"T go for it, you'll still end up learning some things that might help you introduce the device to others. Know this, there WILL be some men who are open to this from the get go, while others will take some time to warm up to the idea (that's where encouragement from the ladies comes in), while others may be closed to it entirely. It's a mixed bag, but one that's worth exploring!

In all cases, I would strongly recommend that you do your homework on the Aneros first. This website (and this forum) contain a wealth of information.....use it! I have several threads that I've authored myself; B's Keys to the Backdoor to Ecstasy, B's Best of BEE Line, and Aneros the Next Generation Reviewed and there is the testimonial section that will give you the successes of many other users out there as well.

I hope this helped, and if I can be of any other assistance...let me know.

Cheers,

BF Mayfield

P.S. If I've gotten this all wrong, do forgive me.