• First real session and trying to get arousal without expectations

    Last time, my first session, I inserted the toy wrong. This time I oriented it correctly and everything went much easier. I think my rectum is getting benefit from this practice, actually, rather than hurting in any way.

    I had been edged by my wife, and hoped this arousal would spill over into the session but I’m not sure it did.

    I tried on my stomach, on my sides, on my back. It was difficult to feel much and my focus was feeling something and actually I was able to rock and feel what may have been a prostate massage of some kind and it was extremely pleasurable. At one point my legs were shaking. I just calmed down and tried some more movement, contractions of the rectal muscle, PC muscle (I am not able to tell them apart and contract them pretty much separately), and nothing at all.

    I tried some fantasy to get my arousal up, thinking of my wife in various scenarios, and I suppose that helped build my arousal. After about an hour it was time to stop and go to sleep.

    Next morning I had intercourse with my wife and haven’t had good erections (or any erections) for a few days. It may be supplements I’m taking but more than likely it’s just being fired up about sex and what I’ve been reading, kind of exactly how porn affects me, so today I’m backing off on that.

    It’s been 3 days since I ejaculated and I am feeling extremely aroused. Just reading mentions of something hard, for example, seems to give me a little jolt, and I see sexuality every time a woman goes by.

    I had told my wife that I want her to control what we do in the bedroom and this will work out great but there is always a process of learning how to work with your partner and how to reach a new equilibrium and she is a bit unhappy at my changes recently.

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