• Sessions 11 and 12

    Hello all. I’ve had a couple sessions since I last found time to write. I won’t take a lot of time to write out all the details of each session, but I would like to state some observations I made.

    With both sessions, I started out laying on the couch. I like the natural positioning of my body when laying there. It lends itself well to using the Aneros. I have noticed that the angle of my hips and/or the curvature of my lower back affects the sensations I feel. Specifically, it usually seems like having a straighter lower back helps. It feels almost like it aligns my rectum with my anus and allows freer movement. Or it brings my prostate more in contact with the device. Who knows? Sometimes I think that the things I feel are actually not at all what they feel like.

    I also have found that I am getting better results lately with the Eupho Trident than with the Helix Trident. I don’t know why, but for now I’m just glad that Aneros had that sale in September and that I got myself the Eupho even though I’d only just purchased my Helix. It seems that things change over time, and I expect that there may be times when the Helix does better for me, or the Progasm. I’ve found that something that works well once won’t necessarily work great the next time, or the time after that.

    On that note, in my previous post, I mentioned finding some muscles that seemed to give a sort of inward squeezing/sucking feel and how that was quite pleasurable in that session. I tried to make that happen again in both subsequent sessions. I am not 100% sure I managed to activate the same muscles, but I think I did. Unfortunately it did not give the same pleasurable sensations as it had before. So it seems that it is a good tool to keep in the tool box, but is not a miracle maneuver.

    Another interesting observation I made was that sometimes having my eyes open works better than having them closed. Sometimes having them closed takes me too much into my inner thoughts and away from the present moment and the sensations I’m feeling. If I can get into the right mindspace with my eyes closed, then I can really focus on what I’m feeling, but if I’m getting distracted with other thoughts, having my eyes open seems to help.

    I have a few times now experienced something I think is a little strange, and I wonder if others have experienced this and know why it happens and/or what to do about it. Yesterday during my session, I started to have some pretty nice sensations of pressure, sometimes a feeling of an itch being scratched, but these feelings all seemed to exist on the right side of my body. And it felt unbalanced because of that. I felt like I would enjoy it more if it was more centralized or bilateral. I don’t know why I feel it more on the right side or how to shift it more to the left. I even feel referred sensations in my head, particularly behind my right eye. That’s also kind of strange. I have tried adjusting the placement of the p-tab, but that hasn’t seemed to make much difference so far. If anyone has suggestions, I’d love to hear them.

    The last major observation I’d like to report is that I’ve found that I sometimes have a base level of tension in my body that gets in the way of my enjoyment. So the “do nothing” approach sometimes literally does nothing, but if I “actively” try to relax my body, sometimes things just start happening. I start to feel throbbing and pulsing around my prostate, matching my heartbeat, and that starts to build up. But then it seems like the tension creeps back in and it’s like it slowly turns off a faucet. It happens gradually so it’s difficult to detect, but sometimes I’ll realize that I’m holding my whole body rigid. Not like I’m actively flexing muscles, but like they are in a default state that is fairly tense.

    When this happens, sometimes it’s not even a matter of relaxing the muscles around my pelvis, though I’m sure that happen. If I just focus on relaxing anything, or everything, then the throbbing starts back up again, and if I can hold onto that relaxed state, the pleasure builds up and I start to feel heat and swelling and other precursors to an orgasm. Unfortunately, last night I was never quite able to get to an O. The tension would slip back in and the pleasure would fade again. It’s a little bit frustrating, but it’s all part of the process, I suppose. Learning to gain conscious awareness and control of those things is surely a big part of the learning process. And the learning is fun. This blog is helping me make note of these lessons I am learning and the tools I’m picking up.

    That’s all I have time to share for the moment. I’m pretty happy with the last few sessions I’ve had. I feel like I’m making progress.

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