• Second Session – ugh!

    Well, that could have gone better. Underwhelming on almost all counts.
    Expectations – Wanted to get warm and really relaxed, get aroused, and then sit back and see what happens with minimal contractions.
    TSLE – about 7 days
    I had more time to work with, so I could spend a lot more time prepping. Heated the room, pre-washed all the toys, pre-rolled a shea butter bullet )stored in a glass of cold water in the fridge(, pre-lubed the Helix with shea butter, filled a plastic syringe with about 3 ml of I.D. Glide, and spread some towels over the sheets in bed. I liked all this prep work; the self-nurturing felt nice. After a bowel movement and a long hot bath, I felt very warm and relaxed.
    After the bath, I gave myself an enema )3 x 4 oz; definitely necessary(, inserted the bullet, inserted the syringe and injected the Glide )I wanted to try a bit more lube(, and retired to the prepped warm bedroom, where I lay down on my side and comfortably inserted the Helix. This was the high point of the session.
    • ROOKIE MISTAKE – For some reason, I could not get aroused with my imagination, which usually works pretty well. It was just one of those days )tired, sick, out of sorts, whatever( where I couldn't feel any sexual arousal. I could feel this malaise earlier in the day. I should have just removed the Helix and gone to sleep. But I kept going . . .
    I absolutely could not relax because of a strong tremor in one of my arms. It's a constant shaking 24/7 that I've had for years. I hadn't realized how distracting it was. I could feel the Helix pushing my prostate as I deep-breathed. But as I was laying there, not contracting anything, trying to be both relaxed and aroused )failing at both(, I realized that any subtle feelings being generated by my prostate were being completely overwhelmed by the shaking of my arm. Even if my prostate was trying to talk to me, I would never be able to hear it.
    So I tried gentle contractions of the sphincter and PC. I could feel the Helix pushing on my prostate, but nothing else. After an hour, it felt like the Helix was just grinding into my prostate, which started to feel sore. I could push the Helix down and away from the prostate to get relief.
    • ROOKIE MISTAKE – When it started to be uncomfortable, I should have stopped. But I kept going . . .
    I tried for another half hour. On a lark, I put my spasming hand on my perineum; DIY vibrator. I guess it could have felt nice, but by this time my prostate was feeling quite sore. In the future, I'll be spending only 30 min or so per session until my prostate gets used to the attention.
    After 90 min, I'd had enough of feeling my arm shake while my prostate ached. I was done. No glow, no spreading warmth, no sexual feelings, no erection, no pre-cum, no nothing. I didn't even masturbate afterwards. Just cleaned everything up and went to sleep.
    The only sign that there may have been some kind of response was that, in the wee hours of the night, I awoke and starting rubbing my perineal sweet spot, just to see what would happen. I instantly went from limp to a very hard erection. Instantly = less than 10 seconds, which I thought was remarkable. While the sweet spot usually just "feels good", this time it was "feels good and a hard boner". So I think something's changing.
    Now, the next morning, I can definitely still feel my prostate. It does not ache, but I can tell that it got a lot of attention last night, in a good way. You could even say it glows )if I'm allowed to make Christmas jokes in April(. I'm feeling better about this than I did last night.
    I'll try again in a couple of days, but with my shaking arm, I'm facing the possibility that I might not be able to fully relax.
    Next session – a quickie )30 min(

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