• My Sexuality, My Fantasies and the Tao of Eros

    Tao: the unconditional and unknowable source and guiding principle of all reality; the process of nature by which all things change and which is to be followed for a life of harmony. The Tao is the path, the art or the skill of doing something in harmony with the core meaning of life.
    It is 20 years ago that I began this journey of sexual discovery; after all this time I now realize that my purpose has been to pursue the Tao of Eros; but it didn’t start out that way. When I began walking in this path of sexual discovery, my simplistic goal was to seek higher levels of arousal. Along the way I came to the realization that I also wanted to better understand female sexual response so I could be a better lover.
    I discovered the opportunity of the Tao of Eros when I discovered Tantric Sex Practice in the first year or so. With my new knowledge I sought out eastern thought and philosophy as the first steps along the path. I read books and I did retreats in Tantra, Zen and Taoism; I studied some of the theory behind Kundalini Yoga. I read books on Extended Male Orgasm and Male Multiple Orgasm.
    Those early intellectual efforts years ago opened my mind to so much more than kinky means to seek arousal. As I looked to increase my libido I gained sexual proficiency, instead of pushing horniness to new heights, instead I discovered new pathways to orgasm. Finally I discovered the power of eroticism and subsequently became a sensual man who followed the Tao of Eros.
    My eyes were opened to the expansive depth of my own human erotic capacity; I learned to both see and feel sensual pleasure and savor arousal. I learned that the true foundation of experiencing more pleasure wasn’t in how I used my cock it was how I used my brain. The more I delved, the more I became fascinated by the mystic eloquence of my own sexual energy and the deep powerful river of eros that flowed from that energy. By the time I was fifty I had transformed myself to being an erotic minded sensual man with a commitment to an erotic life.
    Then in my mid fifties a major health issue got my attention and made me acutely aware of the fragility of my own life; each day became a treasure to covet and relish. Rightr after that health issue was resolved I learned to trigger multiple orgasms with Aneros prostate massagers. The urgency of living and feeling everything in a deep sexual manner took on a new urgency. My focus on erotic pleasure redoubled.
    Once I awakened my prostate and was rewired, I was able to guide my prostate to respond to stimulation, linking it to my nipples, my breathing and my thoughts. For the first time at age fifty hour I experienced cascades of exquisite anal orgasms. A year or two after that I learned to induce anal orgasms without any anal penetration or an aneros. I developed the skill and the mind body linkage to direct erotic energy to make non ejaculatory orgasms bloom in my anal tract by using trigger spots, guided breathing, muscular manipulation and targeted erotic imagery.
    Once I gained the skill to have multiple non ejaculatory anal orgasms the final puzzle piece was in place. Without realizing it I had set several things in motion. First and foremost I rewired my sexual response and my orgasmic pathways. The process of rewiring is defined in the Aneros Forum as follows:
    The distinctive changes that one’s body undergoes through the use of the Aneros. In particular: )1( becoming permanently responsive to non-penile forms of stimulation, as associated with the prostate, perineum, nipples, anus and rectum; )2( a vivid sense of tingling well-being in the pelvic region, most noticeable when not in sexual situations; )3( an overall increase in sexual sensitivity; )4( an overall improvement in sexual performance, including ejaculatory control and erectile function; )5( increased skill at arousal amplification techniques and secondary erogenous zone stimulation, among others, so that spontaneous pleasure and non-ejaculatory orgasm become increasingly easy to achieve.
    Once I was rewired the doors to the discovery of my eroticism opened wide for me giving me a clear view of the world around me. The path to pursue the Tao of Eros and the well spring of sensual euphoria was revealed to me. I learned that erotic pleasure was not something out there for me to pick off shelf and experience; I discovered that it was in me waiting to be discovered, awakened coaxed and savored in all its sensually vulgar elegance.
    What was revealed to me was an ethereal, alluring erotic force in my mental core that is my erotic desire, is the Tao of Eros that resides in me. It is a power and a thirst for sexual pleasure that defines me as a man. To access this wellspring of sexual power I needed to focus my thoughts, my fantasies, my memories and the reserve of erotic energy in my body and connect my mind to it. It required awareness, clarity of thought, body awareness and a peaceful state.
    This erotic force that is my nature is an aching arousal deep inside me and is ever present. It is a patiently urgent and eloquent pang that tugs at my cock root and makes my anus open in the night as it cries to me, pulling on my cock and making my anus throb. It is a relentless pulsing weight on my cock, coaxing me and enticing me to gratify it and feed it and savor it. It demands that I gather all the alluring, elegantly sexual, profane, lewd, lurid, sensual, erotic, forbidden, and revered thoughts, feelings and experiences I can and cast them into the steaming pit of my erotic need.
    It is in the memory of J’s sensually parted legs wantonly revealing the hair framed pink well of her femininity to me, as she holds my lips to her fur brimmed feminine well. Her cunt opening is steaming with nervous desire as it drools its need in a long dripping stream of sex honey. The warm sweet aroma wafting from her wanton pussy mouth intoxicates me and inflames my need to sip and lick the cream of her desire as it flows from the delicate folds of her inflamed lady lips.
    So many times my tongue has teased her pink gash, sipping the milk of her pleasure to as it flows from her quivering opening. I can see her lush lady flower, dripping with dew in my mind when I close my eyes in MMO. I have teased and taunted her glistening pearl to harden into stone and part her lips as it makes her aroused pussy mouth dilate and then convulse in the demanding anguish of aching orgasm. In its fevered arousal her clit commands her attention and empties her mind of rational thought. It pries her pussy lips apart to reveal the pink gate to her ecstasy to me. Her clit entices her vulva to swell and engorge and make her vaginal cleft yawn with arousal and congest with the sticky warm passion that she will gush into my mouth. As the leaden weight of unrealized erotic pleasure gathers in the pit of her feminine canal, her pussy mouth becomes heavy with lust, and throbs with orgasmic need.
    Holding her ass cheeks in my two hands, I bring her passion swollen pussy to my mouth. Her warm soft pelvis is like a large ripe fruit whose warm sweet flesh is there for my taking. Savoring the musky aroma of her aroused pussy, my mouth engages the tender, most cherished and private part of her body; it is warm and so delicate. I drink the warm sweet cream from her quivering flesh bowl, cajoling the opening with my tongue, urging it to make her quiver in ecstasy and give me more of its thick warm cream. As she writhes in agonizing orgasm she gives me yet more of the warm nectar of her passion, it coats my tongue and feeds the erotic force in me.
    But the sweet rewards of J’s pussy racking in orgasm is not enough to slake the parched thirst of my erotic soul. I fantasize about womens derrieres. Until I began to launch MMO’s in J’s ass cheeks I never thought much about womens rears. Now in my transformed state I am fixated on them.
    I fantasize about the derrieres of women friends who are close to me and who respect and admire me, seeing me as not a friend and trusted partner but as a powerful source of male sexuality. I imagine that to them I am rigid male lust, tempered by nurturing desire to please, available to penetrate them and touch their feminine souls with my pulsing cockhead. I fanaticize what their anuses and pussies might look like and what it would feel like to bathe their anal openings and the interior of their cunts with my semen. I think of them coming to me and imploring me to penetrate and satisfy them. With bewitching skill and cunning they entice me to bed them and remove their clothes tortuously slowly as they lay languidly, legs parted waiting to feel the intrusion of my rock hard cock and the ultimate sweet reward of my pulsing cock pumping my cum deep in the cunts.
    Their need to feel my sexual presence on them, in them and with them as they experience rapturous pleasure is pervasive. In my mind they desire to share the experience of sucking, tugging, pumping orgasmic bliss with me. They crave holding my naked body on top of them as the flames of enticing sexual nirvana lick at their clits and nipples and make them cast aside their inhibitions, their vulnerability and their self consciousness.
    I fantasize that they are so overcome with lust that they embrace me shamelessly as their orgasm pummeled, sodden vaginas long to suck the cum from my cock, and their twitching anuses are throbbing in wait to convulse in orgasmic bliss.
    I imagine suckling their clits as I pinch their aching nipples. My teasing stimulation drives them crazy with lust. My erotic taunting is amplified by my probing fingers and the tugging sucking bliss of my mouth on their clits. Lithe feminine bodies stiffen under the crushing pleasure of growing orgasmic tension.
    And when their pussy lips are trembling with pent up passion and the openings of their cunts are throbbing and steaming with the heat of orgasmic need, their minds will be numbed against guilt and embarrassment. They surrender to my cock and they pull my long prong to penetrate them and give them the deeply satisfying sensation of being probed by a hot cock. My stone hard prong is rigid with my own need and it is dripping the steamy nectar that will provide easy passage for my cockhead. My cock plunges in the wetted pink openings of these women who are trusted friends, admired colleagues, and co workers and whose bodies entice me daily and whose soft lilting femininity teases me and lulls me into these lewd and lurid fantasies. These are the erotic thoughts that torment me.
    In the warm safe confines of my fantasies I press my large helmet like cockhead into the steamy mouth of a young girls wanton virginal cunt. I feel their cum thirsty cunts swallowing and pulling on my cock, sucking it in and milking it to extract the pearlescent white creamy reward that they thirst for. And then as I lay on them between their parted legs with my cock buried in their cunts, we dance the undulating dance of shared passion they roll their pelvises, tugging on my cock in the process. As they cling to my precum slimed shaft they try to hold it and caress it and lovingly suck the cum from my heavy balls. But the powerful grasp of a pussy mouth slimy with a women’s cum, cannot hold a slippery cock shaft; it slides from their slippery openings getting jelked in the process. They lay there immobilized on their backs as I probe their vaginas with my impassioned prong. I force my cockhead to slide in and out of their swollen cunts coxing the pleasure that is boiling in their cunts to rise to higher and higher levels. The vision of lust swollen vulvas and dripping vaginal mouths stretched open by the girth of my cock shaft as my cock head remains invisible in the depth of their pussies is one that I think of all the time in MMO.
    And then, when these lovely women feel the onset of the magical crescendo that will transport them to a place of erotic rapture deep in their own bodies, they look into my face just before they succumb with a look of mixed awe, confusion and elation. That look silently grants me permission to release the flood of my thick hot creamy semen cocktail into their spasming pussies. As I pump my thick steaming seed into their convulsing vaginas we both experience that sweet moment of shared euphoria that is laced with the luridly erotic thought of our vulgar and forbidden coupling.
    But the thirst of desire in me is not satisfied feeding on the alluring sensuality of feminine desire it wants more. My Tao has beguiled my erotic mind to desire the hot rigid lust of a cockhead in my mouth spilling its thickened salty sweet semen on my tongue.
    I have experienced the warm flood of male passion filling my mouth in a pulsing stream; it is a vivid memory. I have held a man’s ass as he unloaded the hot thick molasses of his lust in my mouth for me to drink and savor. I have felt a man’s cock between my ass cheeks as he dry humped me to shoot his load and butter my crack. I have experienced the divinely erotic sensation of the underside of my cockhead rubbing on his as we teased and taunted each other’s nipples and coaxed our cocks to regurgitate our loads on each other. I remember the feeling his hot cum bathing my cockhead glazing it with the creamy warm icing of his desire.
    These are the thoughts and memories that flooded my mind only an few hours ago. It is 7 am now; these arousing memories and fantasies were filling my head only a few hours ago detonating the waves of erotic pleasure in my pelvis and perineum.
    The torrent of sensual pleasure imagined and remembered combined in cascades of orgasms to feed my erotic appetite, I could feel the thirst turn to desperation as the sensations of bliss and growing rapture grew and blossomed in my anus.
    The well of my erotic pleasure is now full. As it was being filled, pulsing sensations of sexual pleasure and orgasmic tension came with it. The pulsing pleasure and that sweet tension sent ripples of euphoria through my body. Soon my pelvis began to convulse blissfully as those ripples turned to tidal waves of agonizing ecstasy that made my cock dance the dance of tortured pleasure and my anus gulp and twitch as it tried to swallow all the rapture it could.
    In the flood of sexual sensation the fountain of my rapture overflowed with sexual sensations, erotic visions of sexual beauty and feelings of raw male and female lust. I struggle to drink them and feel them all, but the onslaught of this flood of orgasmic pleasure is sometimes more than I can consume. It covers me just as cum being expelled from a dozen cocks would coat my face.
    For an hour this morning I twisted and wallowed as wave after wave of orgasmic bliss reached into my anus and milked and squeezed the wellspring of my masculine pleasure. As the excruciating pleasure of MMO tugged on my cockhead and convulsed my prostate I lay in muted stupor. Visions of a cluster of men and women on me naked, sucking my nipples and my cock, tonguing my anus, probing my ears with their tongues, sucking on my balls and filling my mouth with cum obliterated reality as my body was filled with erotic rapture.
    When the MMO was over I emerged from bed with my cock dripping with pre cum and the erotic need in me blazing like an inferno. The forge of my orgasmic furnace tempered my mind to a sensual edge. My pelvis was filled with desire and my body felt alive with my sexuality. My cock had been tuned and my prostate was loaded. My mind was attuned to the warm beautiful eroticism that is my daily life.
    My experience of orgasm, MMO and the erotic mindfulness that accompanies it makes me the man I am.
    The sweet bliss of MMO has danced into my life today bringing me a little closer to the erotic force that runs through my being. I am not totally one with The Tao of my Eros yet, but I am moving incrementally closer.

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