• Leaves in the Wind Upload 3

    Looking through the ice obscured view of the windshield I thought about how much it was a physical metaphor for my life. My future was a unclear vision. I thought about the sensual freewheeling and fast moving weeks that were ahead of me and the fact that I had no idea where they would take me. The upcoming events and experiences were all new for me and they were all unknown. The next thing that was on the horizon for me after this work meeting with Lisa Eagan was a meet up I had planned with a new friend named “Duchess” in Montreal the following week. The story behind how I made Duchess’s acquaintance is a study in the power of social networking sex sites. It began with a foot in the door from someone in the Aneros Forum.

    In the context of the hollow loneliness I was feeling I was desperate to engage with people that understood my confusion and the emotional and sexual dilemma that being rewired and alone inflicted on me. I was walking around in constant arousal getting erections from looking at men and women. I saw sexual and sensual beauty in everything, I considered almost every woman I met as a sex partner and shockingly some men too.

    In the absence of a real sex partner in my life, I decided to turn to fellow Aneros Forums members for edgy sharing, solace and an outlet to discuss my rewiring, in the absence of a sex partner. What I found was a community of peers who like me were on a mysterious discovery journey into their sexuality and sexual response. I hoped that they understood where I was; they did. It was a great social connection when I needed it and it was a unique source of support.

    The deep dive I was doing into the Aneros Forum was my first engagement with a community of peers and like minded individuals of all ages and genders on line. There were a few guys who I became extremely friendly with. After relationships were established, I got their emails so we could delve deeper into our common sexual interests. One of the guys that I sexted with on a regular basis asked me to send him some pictures of myself nude and he would reciprocate. It was only as a result of months of sharing that I came to trust him enough to send full body nude erotic pictures of myself; he did of himself in return.

    This was the first time I took nude pictures of myself. The process of taking those pictures was exciting, arousing and nerve wracking. My heart was pounding and my hands were shaking as I stood in front of the camera naked and clicked the shoot button. However the most significant thing was the reality that my cock was stone hard and dripping as I snapped them. That picture exchange opened a door for me that was a whole new world. I confirmed my inclination that I was a closet exhibitionist.

    The pictures I sent were hot and the ones I got in return was also hotter. He was a full 30 years younger than me. His cock was gorgeous. The first time I opened my laptop to look at the pictures he sent I wound up pulling down my pants immediately and jerking off to them as I muttered to myself how sexy his cock was. The hot load of semen I hurled was copious and forceful. Knowing the person whose penis I was masturbating to as I jerked my cock made the ejaculation particularly intense.

    After emailing and exchanging photos with him for a while, he invited me to join Dick.net, a forum where guys uploaded cock pictures and chatted in rooms. With his reassurance I joined and submitted some photos of my erection. To my surprise I got a lot of positive comments about my mature aroused male equipment.

    Although I befriended a couple of guys on Dick.net, the closest friend I made was a female member. There were a number of women on Dick.net; they were there because they really liked to look at guys cocks. That was a real surprise to me. In my generation we were told that women didn’t look at male porno. When I uploaded my cock pictures, I was surprised and pleased to get a friend request from a girl named Duchess. She was a single 35 year old fine artist / illustrator from Toronto who had a penchant to spend long hours on Dick.net ogling guy’s erections. Part of her interest was artistic but after I got to know her better I realized that most of the reason for her membership was her libido. She loved cocks.

    We struck up a sexting relationship on the site that eventually extended to emails and instant messaging off site. In a leap of faith I gained the confidence to sext with her, sharing intimate fantasies and deep secrets. The interchange we had was steamy and deeply erotic. I was erect immediately when we chatted on line. Our sexts emboldened me further to do a picture exchange. It was daunting to share photos of my cock with a guy, however it was outright scary to expose myself to a young woman. She specifically asked for full body with my face nude photos. Again this was a first. I as feeling wextremely vulnerable as I took the pictures: I struggled with how to assume a sexy pose without looking foolish. I was outside of my comfort zone but that awkwatrdness made the act of posing nude in a provocative position extremely arousing. Once more my cock was like an oak log as I took the pictures. She sent me some very steamy close-ups of her vagina and clitoris as she masturbated. Those pictures were stunning, erotic, artful and very very arousing.

    After seversl weeks we got even bolder. She suggested doing video chats on Skype as we masturbated together. She had a beautifully sexy body; I knew it would be inspiring. I was nervous but excited to expose myself even more. To say that she was an erotic goddess and a horny woman was an understatement. Like many people on sexual – social forums she was also lonely. Being so beautiful and sexy I was flummoxed as to why she was lonely. Men have been crawling all over her. When I stood in front of my laptop nude and saw her doing the same the interchange we had became intensely personal and intimate; my erection was so rigid it ached. She admired it with fawning comments that made me so hard, the ache was viscerally painful. As we masturbated we began to talk to each other; this made the precum pour from my cock slit, something that she noticed and commented on immediately. It turned her on to see my precum drooling. Talking during sexual activity with a woman was new to me. Marie and I never did it. It was so erotic talking to this pretty girl about her sexy vagina and beautiful tits as I masturbated I had to struggle not to ejaculate immediately as I talked.

    From our erotic Skyping and sexy communications, similar sexual interests and intimate sharing Duchess and I became real close friends. As I shared details of my sex life she became intrigued with my story and my description of my rewiring and MMO . She extended an invitation to me to become a member of Sex Forums, an on line forum where she was senior moderator. She also offered to sponsor me to be a site moderator. SF as it was called offered video exchanges, messaging, picture exchanges and chat rooms for sexually adventurous men and women. Duchess became one of the first good friends that I made from the expanding network of friends I made on line at SF.

    In the emptiness of my personal life I poured my heart out to her and exposed myself verbally and visually. It was wonderful to have a woman to share intimate details of my sex life, anxieties about aging, and the discouragement over my failed marriage. I also gained an online sex partner. The act of being sexual on camera was amazingly sensual, daring and very erotic. On her part she freely shared her anxiety over being 35 and having no relationship or apparent opportunity for marriage on the horizon. I put a lot of creative thought into the nude pictures of myself I sent her and the settings for our video chats. I got a huge rush doing them. They elicited an incredibly enthusiastic response from Duchess when she got pictures and she saw me in her laptop naked in real life. Skyping and masturbating together as we did accelerated our relationship.

    The odd thing about SF is that I was 20 years older than Duchess and 15 years older than the next oldest active member in the forum. Beyond my senior age status, I was the only multi orgasmic prostate massage skilled member on the site. My unique characteristics earned me the title of “Agony Uncle”. I became the male sex advisor to the 20-30 some things on the site. Some members referred to me as Owl as in the wise owl from Winnie the Pooh. My friendship with Duchess deepened as time passed.

    Three months after I joined SF Duchess emailed me that she had a gallery visit that she was going to be doing in Montreal. Knowing that I was not far from Montreal she extended an invitation for me to come and see her in person. That was the first message that she extended to me. That initial invite was followed by a second email which simply said: “The seeing means staying, bunking in with me for fun is an option”. I inferred from the comment on fun that sex was obviously involved. This was an astonishing offer for me as a man who hadn’t been with a woman other than my ex wife in 25 years. Even more mindboggling for me was the fact that she was a 35 year old woman offering to bed me, a 55 year old man.

    She admitted to me that the act of chatting and being sexual with me, an older man was exciting. She had never been intimate with an older man. The fact that that intimacy was opening a door to meet me in person to have sex with me was daunting and exciting in equal measure. She added that she had not felt the level of arousal she felt in years. I sympathized with her about feeling a little awkward myself but admitted that I was really turned on by what we were going to do. I also admitted that it was a first for me. I added I had been off the market for 25 years.

    She then added that she felt a strong trust and connection with me as a trusted older man with no agenda other than intimate pleasure, and mutual support. She said that meeting for sex and affection with no obligations didn’t seem inappropriate or bad. She had seen full body nude pictures of me and liked what she saw but also she knew me as a person and she liked me. Her honesty and intimate admissions turned me on as much as viewing her sexy cunt in orgasm did.
    As a result of that and her trust in me, her only fear of our sexual encounter was that she would be overwhelmed by my physical masculinity and maturity and my patirnce and understanding. As a result of all that she was a little anxious that the sex would be so good that she would fall in love with me. I had no idea how to respond to that so I avoided even trying to allay her fear.

    Suddenly I became aware that the windshield was clear. My thoughts turned to the meeting I had this morning. My liaison with Duchess would follow next week, first things first. I turned and looked through the windows behind me as I backed the van out of the drive way. I stopped at the Dunkin Donuts at the edge of the village to pick up my breakfast; as I went thru the drive thru I thought of the phenomenon of a drive thru Dunkin Donuts in this small town that has always been my home. Danbury Maine with a chain drive thru coffee shop was something that I never thought I would see. It amazed me how much things have changed in the village from my youth; as I thought more about it, I was amazed how much things have changed in me as well.

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