It's time for me to enter a summery of the highlights I can remember over the last month. I have to say, it's been a staggering ride.
Overall, the last two months have been rather catalyzing for me, life wise. I met a fellow who reintroduced me to a level of peace and contentment I haven't experienced in as long as I can really even remember. (not a formal relationship, mind you.) He also introduced me to the Aneros; which has served to cultivate those feelings.
Granted, over the last year or so (and other personal work I have done since 2005/2007) I have been doing everything in my power to soothe myself, change various outlooks; really give it a go you know? Not knowing what my goal even was beyond simply not being as at whim to heavy emotions and the world at large.
Not knowing, and only having an idea of what will come, is also a part of the Aneros experience and what makes it so fun for me. I am almost always surprised, and honestly even the smallest headway or specks of newness are terribly enjoyable.
The first time was with the Progasm. However, nothing really happened. I didn't mind, the friend I mentioned was there and I was already beyond happy with what he'd done. (damn magic hands 😉 ). It's still a noteable start, and come to think of it; may in part be responsible to why I crave the progasm over the helix here and there.
The second time I used the Helix. But I didn't really know where to begin. Before my friend came over that first time; all I'd knew is what i saw with UKBoy's super-o video. I'd glanced at the wiki, but I didn't have the patience, as yet, to really give it more than that glance. So, it was a bit of a dud; comparatively. I didn't really relax, rolled hips the whole time. Totally green. After I was through I read a bit more, had some ideas and resolved to 'relax' and try and let things ramp up on their own.
Now, it bears mentioning, that porn hasn't done much for me at all; for years. Likewise, my own fantasies have fallen short of fun; as well as normal old 'using the hand'. Purely mechanical. To.. sexually unwind I typically end up engaging in online erotic roleplay in the community I am a part of. It's always fantastic; but still, it depends on others. meaning the timing and chemistry have to be there. Great stuff, and really does it for me but; that's not quite 'do it yourself'.
The third session, i used the Helix again. It was my first real experience with an involuntary reaction. I'd read the wiki some more, absorbed as much advice there as I could. (stopped when I took in enough.). It wasn't a whole lot, but it was a series of internal flutters/twitching which moved the Aneros. Of course, I had to have more; I think I tried breathing and some of my own contractions. Didn't do a whole lot, but the little that did happen over a few hours was enough to leave me happy.
The next point of note would be the very blissful and energetic day I had following the previous evenings session. I felt something in the prostate area (on the outside) after I woke and was sitting with my coffee. I simply.. started focusing there. I do believe it started some involuntary spasms off; but it was the warm, sort of penetrating tension right (I think) around the sweet spot area that had me. After that, I felt so totally content and at peace; it triggered a whole day of just.. pleasure. Not physical at all; but I was so relaxed… It was the best workday I can recall having in over a decade. I walked to the bus with this sly smile, feeling some residuals down below. Couldn't help but see what happened while on the bus, on break and at lunch. By the end of the day I was practically (and at one point literally) dancing in the warehouse. It garnered some positive attention; and I think people started wondering what I was on, or if I'd gotten some outrageously good sex the night before. (Little do they know what really happened 😉 ). Ove rthe next few days I started feeding out a diversionary reason of 'I've been meditating', to help attribute my changes in mood and attitude. This is the sorta thing I need to do because people there get so bored that they come up with sh*t to amuse themselves. I'm notably 'honest' there, so the ruse is easy. Honestly, I don't want any questions raised about anything sexual and me; more so that I don't end up gratifying their more.. destructive juvenile behaviors. Despite all that rubbish, this part of the story is what started a rewarding side journey of toyless activity that has seems become more than amazing.
For the next portion; I'll simply link a post I made in the forums. A lot more efficient that simply repeating it here. http://www.aneros.com/forum/f5/question-about-moments-erotic-intesity-without-aneros-15948/
I apologize if it is a little hard of a read. I was a bit excited at the time; which seems to happen a good deal when I start talking about these things.
I do believe this is a good point to pause, seeing as I do write long; I am hungry, and the honest truth is I was engaging in roleplay this morning, no toy, and the involutaries have been… rigorous. I don't know yet what a dry orgasm is, or if I do, which it seems I might.. well i couldn't say. I have been thinking it'd be obvious; but then I have come to accept I can't take a thing for granted in all of this. After three separate rounds of.. enjoying whatever comes this morning; what I can say for sure is that it felt great; better each time and I kept trying to follow Ten_s advice to 'separate myself' from it. I chose to center less and less on my groin and felt out different spots. Which seems; tragically effective.
Fox