Your brain off porn!

I like the thought of this goal. I have read other posts stating how porn detracts. For me it has always been a big boost to my arousal. I can see how it is distracting at times as it pulls my focus away from breathing, body consciousness and arousal, mental stimulation and fantasy.

I will join you in this effort. Time for a change to how I approach arousal and sessions. Time to focus on my mental and physical state and arousal.

Re

I will also join the quest for a de-porned life; though I have a feeling it wont be easy.

deleted everything on my computer and all of my site accounts

i stopped watching it and instead i now film myself, or sometimes i watch guys using the aneros etc (I'm straight ) so it could be considered porn still but it feels different now.

I like the thought of this goal. I have read other posts stating how porn detracts. For me it has always been a big boost to my arousal. I can see how it is distracting at times as it pulls my focus away from breathing, body consciousness and arousal, mental stimulation and fantasy.

I will join you in this effort. Time for a change to how I approach arousal and sessions. Time to focus on my mental and physical state and arousal.

Welcome, happy to have some company on the journey!

The undertaking itself somehow gives me the sense of a weight being lifted off my shoulders. Maybe I was/am addicted without even knowing it.

deleted everything on my computer and all of my site accounts

Good for you! It's tough deleting all your favorite clips, or at least it was for me.
Also, I almost always watched on regular sites. Thinking about it now, it seems a bit to easy to enter a site and click enter..

Anyone want to share their regular clips? 🙂

i have detoxed from porn for about 6 weeks. haven't had as much as a glimpse. it is addictive like anything else that releases dopamine. now it seems to me like a waste of time. also, turns out i am less generally horny as a consequence, which is either a plus or a minus, depending on how you see things.

hope i don't relapse.

darwin

If you have a sexual partner or three, porn most likely is unnecessary. (Although that is just my assumption, since I've never had a partner!)

But if one doesn't have a sex partner, to me the desire to look at porn seems logical enough. I mean, think about it for a minute. I don't think it is as terrible and unnatural as some say, since it is a substitute for an actual physical need.

Addiction, or spending hours per day on porn, I'd say that's a different matter though. I could see a detox in that case!

Good luck guys!


It's definitely worth doing if like me you use porn to become aroused rather than waiting to be aroused and then use porn.


I have been trying this for several months and have lasted up to 3 weeks previously. The fall off the wagon was a great weekend but has been followed by the usual PMO cycle so I'm back abstaining again, this is day 3 so only Aneros sessions from now on.

I recently caught my 9yr old son with some hardcore porn pics on his ipad. Bad situation. Here is what I did to stop it. I put norton connect safe(which is free) on my router. It works very well, so well in fact I cannot even get onto this website lol. If you feel tempted, put on the connect safe and change the log in for your router and give it to someone else.

Had a minor relapse last sunday though. The hangover and borefom got the better of me. So I'm back to day three 🙂
But the week I had felt a bit free, so I am thoroughly motivated for this. Decided sunday to abstain from alcohol as well.. Completely nuts, but felt that this is what I want for my life going forward.

@inhope, that was really funny 🙂

Quoting.
"I don't think it is as terrible and unnatural as some say, since it is a substitute for an actual physical need."
Actually it is a psychological need. Males are visual creatures and always have been. So the posters in the male lunch rooms I think we're helpful to the worker. In de sexing of the male these posters are tabooed. The female form is hard wired into the brain as a life as well as sex stimulant - to safe guard the continuation of the human species. The difficulty we have is that as mentioned above the "craving" for more stimulation. There is an over abundance of the extreme or even just another pic or movie. The hunt for a new model etc... There is also the fact that many wives and partners are not comfortable with their sexual beauty. Designer vaginas are a compensation (I think they mean labia) like make-up. Most females cannot understand this aspect of males need for the visual "all is right with the world"
Like alcohol: if one or two social drinks satisfy then this will be beneficial if there is a need for more and more to satisfy then it is off to AA!
In an ever increasing de sexing of the male I hope we can adjust and accept the males need for visual stimulation and encourage a balanced use. This will bring it into the open that in itself will moderate it.
I fully support all members who are on the "wagon" or feel the need to.

Isvara, so you think there is an ongoing de-sexing of the male in the first world?

I guess it's a complex question, but what mechanisms are at work here?

@Bartolo99, you are right to question me. I am getting my thoughts together. It might be we are more aware of the males frustration. I do know there is a shift in (Japanese) animated children's animal hero cartoons to have a bull father figure savior with an udder. Of course 'Tom and Jerry" and "Donald Duck" have always been sexless. Primary gender characteristics are always missing in children's' publications. A subtle conditioning? Perhaps the Puritan influence or a denial. There was an article along my thoughts recently in the Financial Review about the desexing of the male. I have no reference. I did remark about to my partner. The FR from time to time runs articles on men's health as a service to men.

I've just come off almost 9 weeks of no cannabis, no porn, no jerking off and I really wanted to go longer but I was suffering from shin splint for more than a week and since cannabis also has anti inflammatory properties and it's much easier to do-nothing both necessary components when trying to recover from this.
It's supposed to be a runners' ailment but for me heavy weights must have put on too much strain, so I needed rest and the pain is wearing off nicely.

Anyway, for me it's definitely a packaged deal, when I'm not high watching porn and jerking off isn't half as much fun, so perhaps it's much easier for me to stop porn coz porn is seemingly innocuous and probably like people who have an addiction to something similar like food, it's much harder to stop.

And jerking off for almost 4 hours and then doing the ksmo the next day gives amazing Super Os. Yes my dick is sore, but the after effect of the ejaculation is felt so strongly and after doing the ksmo it feels like ejaculating continously.

Did I suffer from withdrawel symptoms not using porn? Nope! But as with the cannabis, I definitely get more out of it like this than daily use

Interesting discussion. I've not heard the term "de-sexing of the male" but it describes perfectly what I've experienced of this society. Actually de-sexing of children too in their own way. Women are made into sexual objects. So we are all being manipulated sexually and NOT in a good way. Men are more visually aroused I think so we're easy to control sexually by limiting or supplying porn. Currently porn is more available than ever so we're going through a stage of constant stimulation. Sexual references are more frequent and open in the media and have to stimulate women and children. But extremely few sex positive images or descriptions appear in the media so far that I can see. We're emerging from a puritanical ethos and it can't happen soon enough IMO. Porn is a symptom of this liberation but has it's own addictive problems. And I believe porn and drugs and other addictions are used to control us. I haven't figured this all out either. The same societal trend for sex positive changes is also controlling us through addiction! Maybe it's just a overreaction to the centuries of sexual denial and distortions promoted by the old society. I don't know. That's why porn is such a confusing issue for me. It could point to the way out of this disordered society or it could point the way to liberation. Maybe both alternatives are an illusion. I believe the real change will come from real connections between peopl, closeness, intimacy, fiercely lived out in public so our children will grow up knowing what's real and important. BTW women's sexual images are not hard wired into all men's minds. That's a straight man's experience and only that. I know because I've lived a different experience. That's part of what I mean by the opening up of society to understand intimately each other's experiences rather than the cartoon representations of porn.This is just my current metaphor for my reality.

@euphemistic, "BTW women's sexual images are not hard wired into all men's minds. That's a straight man's experience and only that."
Yes, I knew the moment I wrote what you rightly corrected I was too narrow.
Yes the way women are portrayed as sexual objects is seriously flawed. It is a very distorted, even a dysfunctional sanitized expression of sexuality. Hence the need for porn to balanced it. The same I think applies to male to male hard wiring though I can't comment on this.
I know as a growing person I was seriously deprived of a healthy sexual satisfaction of my awakening sexuality. I would say I have never overcome that. It was not from my parents it was from culture and society. Not entirely correct but marriage was a license to have sex!
Back on topice: The very fact we use "porn" to describe anything with the "light on" is indicative of the sorry state we are in!

Yeah @isvara, male on male porn is the same mechanism. Gay men have learned to objectify other men as sex objects. This is most apparent in gay porn.

Do you mean porn is sex with the lights on whereas actual sex usually happens with the lights off? Maybe that's why I like sex with the lights on 🙂

@euphemistic. Yes, what a good definition of porn 🙂

I'm sorry but I can't tell what anyone is saying about the "de-sexing" of men, or if porn is good or bad. it seems some arguments are saying both good and bad at the same time, confusing me.

Cliffs Notes needed... or simple binary statements? I'm a literal thinker and can't always read between lines. I need something concrete, haha

@Bartolo99, you have struck gold. It is called the quantum theory. It is both right and wrong, it depends on the observer. I think this is the truth of the matter. Individually we must assess the benefits or otherwise. It is dangerous to bind a community to a point of view as that leads to dysfunction. I think the answer lies in self responsibility, something never taught in schools. Sorry there is no single answer to your questions.

@isvara great answer!

Lol what an interesting statement but also logically flawed. It is both right and wrong depending on the observer. Sometimes truth is just exactly what it is. After all if there. Is an innate desire to quit something because you find it inherently wrong then that came from somewhere and you will find that it is larger than society. Right and wrong are devised from a system of morality which assumes moral law. Which is 1 of 4 questions that all sentient beings regardless of belief system must answer. Where did we come from. Why are we here. Why is there good and evil. Where am I going. The other three are hinged on the first. And truth is belief evidenced by reality. Logically adequate, empirically evident, experientially relevant and by its nature is exclusive. Kudos to all of you for your journey to freedom from the is porn thing. It ensnares me all the time. I will stand to get away from it too. It's nice to have someone to be accountable to.

Just a point to say there is no right or wrong but dependent upon the observer portends then there is no moral law or morality, and no reason then to stop anything because the point of view of the observer is illusory at best.

Musing in the late afternoon - I suppose the basic question we should ask ourself is : Does it work (for me). This includes the culture in which I live and its (person-made) rules. Sometimes we will go counter culture for its benefits but that may cause confusion.
Porn (on topic) and masturbation are two areas that cause so much radicalization and dysfunction.
For example on one side masturbation is a greater 'sin' than raping a nun, on the other side lack of healthy sexual release is probably the main cause of social ills.
Morality is solely 'human made' and often culturally specific. Both sides prayed that they would win the war.
It think it is not good to couple morality with God, that is if we believe belief in God helpful for us.
A response is not needed!
So seeing things sexual celebrates the incredible opportunity the body has for joy and pleasure. Seeing sexual part of the body is to celebrate the intricacies of the design. Pity we can't enjoy and rejoice in wonder!
Usually prohibition generates excess!
Oh dear, I thought I deleted this but it got posted - ah well!

Porn (on topic) and masturbation are two areas that cause so much radicalization and dysfunction.
For example on one side masturbation is a greater 'sin' than raping a nun, on the other side lack of healthy sexual release is probably the main cause of social ills.

Morality is solely 'human made' and often culturally specific. Both sides prayed that they would win the war.
It think it is not good to couple morality with God, that is if we believe belief in God helpful for us.
A response is not needed!
So seeing things sexual celebrates the incredible opportunity the body has for joy and pleasure. Seeing sexual part of the body is to celebrate the intricacies of the design. Pity we can't enjoy and rejoice in wonder!
Usually prohibition generates excess!

We will always go for the forbidden fruit, it's just one of humanity's paradoxes, forbid something and it becomes more plentiful. Limit the freedoms of people and they become more creative. So the question should be are there downsides to freedom.
Sexual freedom has brought less sex, or maybe that's just me ;), but seriously many have extrapolated current trends into a sexless future. The fact it's forbidden is the lure, that's why Catholics are slutty and why the periods of very formal, rigid un free societies of the 17th to the 19th brought forth so much creativity. Fast forward to the technological age of freedom and atheism(another type of freedom), the mindset of scientific fact isn't conducive to belief which operates thru other eyes, the very act of believing is training the creative faculty.
The primacy of fact is the antithesis of creativity, observing the other's , who's out there, believing...

Why is porn not subject to any kind of standards? decently qualified camera crew, make up artists, dress, setting, trained actors/actresses, special effects , they don't even have editors etc. In any other genre, no matter how low budget this would be considered necessary. Besides that many actors/actresses have had years of Method Acting. Imagine a method actress taking on a particularly slutty personage, her whole being would radiate sluttiness

Porn isn't the problem, just like action films aren't the problem, each genre taps into a part of the human psyche it wants to experience and uses poetic license to enhance the experience, make it larger than life, a role model something to strive towards.
Rewiring has taught me that porn isn't only art it incorporates the same aesthetic sense of proportion seen in painting and sculpture.Why should the 'stirring to tears' be seen as higher aesthetic than orgasmic stirring, ratios proportions, it's all preprogrammed stuff anyway, all you can do is rejoice that you have the consciousness to keep flipping the switch

Thank you both for interesting perspectives into belief although I was only presenting a discussion on world views and logic. Only for the sake of the reference of a post modern viewpoint where truth is based on a sliding scale dependent on the viewer. A novel concept. I know this guy in cali who was being cheuffered and the driver said this is the only post modern building ever constructed as they were driving by this construct. Built without purpose it had stairs to nowhere and rooms to small to be used, a structure without reason or rules. A true post modern work of art. He said to the driver, "let's hope they didn't follow the same philosophy for the foundation". Because that is true that even against reason or logic all ideas like t he construct are slave to reality. Morality, law are not human constructs of culture or else one can say the nazis, Stalin and mao committed no wrong doing based on there ideas of culture. Ask anyone if the killing fields of Pol pot or serbian death swells or Somali civil atrocities if they were morally wrong or just in the view of the eye of the beholder. Isis beheadings would be justified under the humanist construct of the sliding scale. Or is there a golden rule? What does this have to do with the discussion? Just this.