What to focus on.

@timelesspa I’ve be putting some thought into it. I didn’t start my journey with aneros but I’m glad I am there now. I started massaging my prostate with a SS probe and a smaller vibrating probe. The first time I lite my prostate up and would call it a prostate orgasm it kind of scared me a little. I stopped using it and asked myself if it really happened. Of course I did some reading and discovered I was on a good path. I began holding the massager and masturbate at the same time. The orgasm would make me audibly yell out. When I started using the aneros, it was an Eupho. I enjoyed the sessions but when I started sleeping with it, the game changed. I woke up in the middle of my erection pulsing like I was ejaculating but nothing was coming out. This repeated about 2 more times and I removed it so I could go to sleep. I’ve also had sleep sessions where I feel asleep and nothing happened. I’m saying all this to say your emotions, arousal, stress and fatigue all play into these sessions. I’ve enjoyed sessions where I HFWO and was frustrated because that seemed to be all I could do. I learned to enjoy what each session had to offer. Your are probably in a better place than I was because I kept pushing thinking any minute the big super o is going to hit. Once I slowed down and relaxed is when things accelerated for me.

  I would find something that will safely stroke your prostate so you can identify what it feels like. Prostatic fluid will definitely ooze from your penis when you find it. After you find it, focus on that felling and let things grow from there. We are all made differently and there are all sizes and shapes of massagers. I love my whole collection of aneros because each one seems to have a different result.

Posted by: @timelesspa

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However recently I have experienced the occasional tightness.. or numbness it's hard to describe it sorta creeps around my perineum area like it's travelling sort of up to my penis it's not inherently pleasurable but it feels like something is starting but not sure what. 

I'd say trust your instincts. If you can find something that captivates your attention, and it seems like something you can focus on for a while, then stay with it and see where it leads. The usual cues from traditional maturation aren't something you strictly need. Maybe you'll find a new path that seems unlikely at first, but surprises you after a while. Time, comfort, acceptance... allowing "a new way"... it's all good stuff.

Focus on total relaxation and the feeling of the head of Aneros on your prostate. As you relax subtle twinges and spasms will be felt - enjoy each one and let them control what happens next and you’ll be amazed!

Yeah it can be like too much input sometimes, and the challenge is to find the signal within the noise. Or maybe the answer is to let it all go and flow of its own accord, without effort, without assessment, without observation even. I think there's a stage where this is the way forward, but you might have to feel your way into it and find the jumping-off point where everything can be allowed to slowly unfold. Experiment with everything.

To me there are stages with focus. At first, there isn't much clear prostate pleasure, so I let my thoughts drift, listen to music, breathe and relax consciously, check my expectations and try to let go of them, find whatever I find enjoyable in the moment, often that it the feeling of finally laying down and relaxing. My attention also goes to the way the Aneros feels inside me, but I've learned to not try too hard to feel something there. If things go well, pleasure creeps up on me and part of my focus will rest on that pleasure. But if I concentrate all focus on how my prostate feels and look for the pleasure, it usually doesn't get into orgasmic terrain. If I succeed in letting that go, enjoying the good feelings that arise while letting my focus loose (which is not the same as letting the mind wander, more akin to meditation I suppose), and shift some awareness to other body parts (including the anus and the places where the tabs contact, but also further afield) and perhaps to music I have playing, but sometimes even to random thoughts that occur, I'm more likely to orgasm.

Posted by: @odude

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letting my focus loose (which is not the same as letting the mind wander)

Yeah that can be a difficult distinction until you nail it. Many of my early sessions were ruined by day-dreaming. Like I'd be 2 hours deep into a session, only to realize I've been thinking about unrelated things the whole time.
It's a tricky thing to dial-in, where you're focused on the experience to the exclusion of day-dreams and random thoughts, but unfocused enough to let the experience lead.

Keep in mind that your prostate is erectile tissue.  That being said it is difficult to get it to be responsive unless it is erect and and aroused.  This can happen from being horny, looking at porno, being with a loved one or sexy person in romantic or arousing conditions or by direct stimulation with a vibrator.  For me porno , being with a sexy person and doing a session when my hormones are raging (3 am - 6 am) are my triggers.  After 20 years of practice and being able to experience a kaleidoscope of responses, if one of those isn't happening my orgasm ain't happening.

That being said once you start feeling "pleasant tension" in your anal canal, perineum and cock root the key is to relax and keep an erotic thought in your mind.  It can be a dream you had, a sexy person or an experience.  Block out all things that interfere with that thought and follow the sensation.  As you feel it growing relax and let it happen.  I often refer to it as following a path through a valley of pleasurable sensations and letting those sensations happen as you discover them.

The most difficult thing about prostate orgasm is it is a feminine experience.  The path we need to follow as men is the path that women follow to have an orgasm.  Men chase orgasms and make them happen.  Women open themselves to orgasm and facilitate them once they start.  If a woman is interrupted by a distraction or isn't "in the right karma" it ain't gonna happen.  For women it is a mind body connection.  For a man all it is is stimulating your cock and ejaculation occurs, regardless of what you are thinking.

My experience advising guys over the years is to establish a mind body connection, romance yourself, get aroused and think like a woman.  That last one is the hardest.