Unwiring - Use it or lose it!

I hope you're able to get it back!  Our mental state has everything to do with this practice. I'm sorry to hear you lost loved ones and suffered so many other difficulties along the path.  I still don't know what shattered my wiring right when I had been gifted a super O. It may have simply been a sensory overload, but my sexless marriage is a struggle and there were more stresses with my work at the time. My wife wanted no part of this joy I had discovered (no surprise), but it was still a major letdown.  However it happened, I went from feeling bullet proof to nose in the mud pretty quick and really couldn't get anything out of prostate play for many months. 

I lost all my breathing skills and muscle control or sensations down there. I learned from this forum needed to relax, not set high expectations, enjoy any pleasure experienced in a session, and let it go. I did just that as best I could. I started sleeping with aneros. Almost the do nothing method, but it quite. I eventually started waking in the night to orgasms. They weren't nearly as powerful as what I experienced before, but they're nice and I am thankful. It is helping me rewire, but there are often total dud sessions. We'll figure it out one day, or maybe the universe will just give it to us ! Best of luck.

@Darkorb, I don't know how much exercise you currently take but I found starting a course of resistance training (basically loose weights and weight machines) improved my mood and libido a lot and Aneros effects along with it. I don't mean lifting heavy weights , I'm a 10.5 stone 64 year old weakling, just enough to give your muscles a bit of a pump.

@regal13 If you don't mind me asking with your situtation are you able to get enough alone time to pleasure yourself with and without your Aneros. I'm lucky enough to live by myself most of the time so get pretty much enough time to myself. I have often thought how other men manage, who have partners who for whatever reason don't share their sex drive are just aren't interested. I would imagine most men do it on the sly, perhaps 'knock one out in the shower' but aren't able to take their time. I also think that older men need to maintain or even increase their orgasms to maintain prostate health. I suspect for a lot of older men the opposite is true which is a great shame.

Posted by: @darkorb

What I want to say is: I'm a real life example that unwiring is a thing and it's very important for veterans and beginners to know, that it's actually a thing! Don't be as stupid like me and remember the old saying: "Use it or lose it", that is especially true with the process of inducing super-os.

Thank you @darkorb for this important piece of information. I tended to think of my progress and knowledge in this field a bit like riding a bicycle... I didn't think I could forget. But indeed, as I also consider my know-how in this field as the mastery of an instrument, it is clear that not practicing can lead to a loss of virtuosity.

@darkorb , first, I'm very sorry to hear about your losses; I agree with you, such life changing events have tendency to knock the wind out of our daily lives and somehow, things never get to be the same again.  Thank you for sharing your experiences and the after effects.

As for your rewiring, I'm of the opinion that things should get back to the normal you were used to.   It might take a bit of time but your body and mind do not forget that easily.  It could be that your mind is trying to stay in the good old penile pleasure groove we all grew up in and therefore resist getting back in prostate play mode.  You will most likely be surprised with a sudden switch over and back riding on top of the super-o wave again.  I'm anxious to see how you re-progress.

Your post is very interesting and exciting at the same time; It's like navigating in uncharted waters.   Yes, we have read several posts about the topic of 'use it or lose it' but mostly from newbies in the rewiring mode (like me way back when I wrote about it).   I could be wrong but I don't remember reading about the subject from a fully rewired veteran like yourself.  I, for one,  never thought we could lose it once fully rewired.  That's why I'm thinking it will come back much faster than you anticipate.  I wish it for you!

Take care and good luck.  Life IS truly precious and wonderful.

G

Interesting experience. I was waiting to hear your story.

sorry about all those bummers in close succession. I am glad you are pulling yourself out of the hole (and pulling yourself off via your hole!)

I hope you figure it out again, and look forward to hear about your progress. It is hard to imagine having felt something regularly, and then not being able to retrieve that sensation.

@johnhope for starters we operate on different schedules. We haven't slept in the same bed for years because all I ever got from that was cold and no sleep. And I don't have the luxury of letting loose like I would like, which I am certain is an impediment to my relaxation and progress. I'm not laying around naked with this, it is discreet. It absolutely is not easy to manage having a wife who not only doesn't share my sex drive, she simply has no sex drive. None. No effort to learn or try, nothing. She has severe social anxiety and learned from a young age to fake liking everything she was supposed to like with the crowd, and she knew enough to fake her way into a marriage. Rocked my whole belief system.  

I can only imagine where this practice could lead with a great lover. Given what I've seen in my cobbled life, I expect we could be floating over the moon if we wanted.

@regal13 Thanks for your frank answer to my personal question. I appreciate you took the time to answer it. I have never been married and haven't had a great many sexual partners. I'm a massive fan of masturbation although it is considered by some people as being a bit sad. I have found along with the help of my aneros devices that I can give myself orgasms that at times take my breath away. No need to teach others what you like and no need to consider their needs. That may sound selfish I don't know. I have the luxury of time and my own space to do as I please. My sessions leave me with a great sense of well being and hope a long with the pleasure I get that it is helping my prostate to stay healthy. Some thing all men should get the chance to experience. In the future I  hope that you are able to find your own space and enough time to do as you please that even as a married man I think you should have.

Incredible thread filled with frankness!

@johnhope there is no reason that your sexuality should be considered sad. It is surely much more special than many men’s sexuality, because as we know most men point and shoot and fall asleep. The fact that you are here and exploring your prostate is a sign of a much deeper sexuality. Everyone’s sexual choices are valid, as long as they don’t hurt others. You’ve chosen a sexuality that hurts nobody by its very nature, as long as you are happy.

I have met a great number of women who have given up on sexual partners for a short or long amount of time (on the scale of years), because they are generally disappointed with the partnered sexual experience. And they almost all swear by a vibrator, often a wand type one. It’s not in the least bit sad in my mind.

Posted by: @johnhope

@regal13 Thanks for your frank answer to my personal question. I appreciate you took the time to answer it. I have never been married and haven't had a great many sexual partners. I'm a massive fan of masturbation although it is considered by some people as being a bit sad. I have found along with the help of my aneros devices that I can give myself orgasms that at times take my breath away. No need to teach others what you like and no need to consider their needs. That may sound selfish I don't know. I have the luxury of time and my own space to do as I please. My sessions leave me with a great sense of well being and hope a long with the pleasure I get that it is helping my prostate to stay healthy. Some thing all men should get the chance to experience. In the future I  hope that you are able to find your own space and enough time to do as you please that even as a married man I think you should have.

 

completely agree 1000%. I like @johnhope's refreshing candidness about masturbation. Solo sex can be amazing, just breathtaking, and why not?

Timely subject.

Past two weeks I've been fighting a low grade cold. Bit of fever, mostly just tired and stuffed sinus issues. NOT COVID as that was June.

Anyway, my nipple sensitivity had all but gone. I've had time this week to play with my nipples and they've come back mostly. Haven't had an Aneros session in three weeks or so. I'm interested to see how my session tonight goes. 

It does seem, if you don't use it you will lose it. It does apparently come back though. In the "before times", before COVID, I could have some private time at home at least a couple times a week. Now it's virtually never.

@johnhope

Friend, I don't think you have a sad situation. I will say though, if I had my preference, I would rather be having sex with my wife. When it's right, it's the most amazing bonding available to the human experience IMO. 

If I had figured out how to more effectively use the Aneros line years ago when "we first met" I don't know what my reply would be now. I fear I wouldn't have the family I have now, and the faces around my table mean the world to me. 

I do love my wife, but she is walled off. Seems to run in the family given things I learned too late to turn back. I made some wrong assumptions about her; based on her advanced degrees that I will not mention here, I thought she would have a better understanding about relationships and especially sexual relationships. It just happened that that connection is not there and I don't know if it ever can be. I hope.

What I wouldn't give to have a relationship without the fragile built-in hang-ups and we could share all kinds of crazy orgasms together... including kinks and devices and whatever fun we both could agree to bring to the table.

This practice truly is a journey. I have never seen any other skill like it. You can learn it. You can have the superO. I remember being floored that memory of pleasure can trigger you back to that point again, and that worked for me! But you can forget it or lose it for any number of reasons. And then, just like a couple of nights ago, it hit me again. I remembered nothing, I didn't really do much other than try to relax and the EST took over and almost started vibrating. I had a slamming orgasm laying flat on my back doing nothing. It's weird, it wasn't that much like my first SO, but it was powerful. After such an event, I wish I had a loving partner to turn to and make love. That's where my heart goes anyway. 

In your experience, does rewiring/unwiring happen on a per-device basis? I own a progasm ice and a helix classic, and I more or less shelved the helix. I still try it from time to time, mostly if the session appears to be a dud anyway, but I think I enjoy it less than I once did.

My philosophy is to never give my prostate much rest. My sessions are every 2 days, sometimes 3. In a way I really treat it like a massage/kegel workout and try to maintain the skills.

Hi Regal13 thanks again for further insight into your situation. You sound like a really lovely man and seem to be making the best of your situation. Although not a parent I have come to realise how precious children are and I would think a blessing in your life.  Yours is a story I have heard many times from friends and acquaintances and every one deals with it in their own way. At least you don't seem to be suffering in silence and have an outlet for your desires. My reference to masturbation being sad seems to be a idea held by some that it is a poor substitute for the 'real thing'. I strongly disagree. I hope you continue to make progress with your Aneros sessions.

Posted by: @regal13

@johnhope

Friend, I don't think you have a sad situation. I will say though, if I had my preference, I would rather be having sex with my wife. When it's right, it's the most amazing bonding available to the human experience IMO. 

If I had figured out how to more effectively use the Aneros line years ago when "we first met" I don't know what my reply would be now. I fear I wouldn't have the family I have now, and the faces around my table mean the world to me. 

I do love my wife, but she is walled off. Seems to run in the family given things I learned too late to turn back. I made some wrong assumptions about her; based on her advanced degrees that I will not mention here, I thought she would have a better understanding about relationships and especially sexual relationships. It just happened that that connection is not there and I don't know if it ever can be. I hope.

What I wouldn't give to have a relationship without the fragile built-in hang-ups and we could share all kinds of crazy orgasms together... including kinks and devices and whatever fun we both could agree to bring to the table.

This practice truly is a journey. I have never seen any other skill like it. You can learn it. You can have the superO. I remember being floored that memory of pleasure can trigger you back to that point again, and that worked for me! But you can forget it or lose it for any number of reasons. And then, just like a couple of nights ago, it hit me again. I remembered nothing, I didn't really do much other than try to relax and the EST took over and almost started vibrating. I had a slamming orgasm laying flat on my back doing nothing. It's weird, it wasn't that much like my first SO, but it was powerful. After such an event, I wish I had a loving partner to turn to and make love. That's where my heart goes anyway. 

 

My wife is a great looking woman, takes care of herself. Interesting, intelligent, talented.

But, she's an analyzer. She needs an explanation for everything. Random, spontaneous sex with her just doesn't happen very often. Getting outside the box doesn't happen much. "Because it feels good" just doesn't work for her. She needs to probe, to go back through your childhood and discover what makes you do or think that. Honestly, she's not as bad now as she was when we first got married.

First time I told her I liked some butt play her first thing was "Are you gay?". Over the next three weeks it was all she could think about when I tried to bring up sex. I just gave up on any kind of anal play with her. That area became my responsibility. Wasn't worth the headache.