Stuck again

@smudgefish

I am glad you realise you had to look no further than your current life to understand why you feel like this. Looking at past lifes for answers was missing the obvious right under your nose.

Everything affects us (far away past include) but the present is also everything.

You lead a very energetic life... And apparently it has come to a point where this is too much energy for you to relax into. This is no time to look for superO, you may realise. Because you already are on a constant nonOrgasmic super (a.k.a. a repressed superO). Don't you think it is repressed for a good reason? Going higher is precisely what your body and spirit currently won't take. Right now, relaxing into orgasm wouldn't ask more energy/arousal but less!

The life you live could be a source for constant bliss IF you could swallow that much energy with a smile. You might be able to learn that, but right now, you just can't. It would be like suddenly cutting the rope that helps you climb the mountain. You'd just go in panic mode. Well, actually that is more or less what is happening already: holding back everything in panic. And once again, this might be with good reason. Letting go isn't for the faint of heart. It doesn't go without big transformations.

Just cool down a bit. Don't look for big solutions above your head, they are small and under your very feet. Do some sports for example (1.5h per week is enough). And give yourself 10 minutes rest lying on the ground after effort. It will sort out somehow. Maybe you'll change your life. Maybe you will only change the way you take it. It is all within you.

The very things you do to go forward make you stuck. Even your writing is on overload.

Take Isvara's wife shorter advice:
"Go with the flow... And be surprised"

(It has to be the wisest comment in this whole thread and among the best on the whole forum... praised be our women)

@Canacan Thanks, you are very astute (and slightly cryptic as ever).
Exercising has been a way I have suppressed things, I usually run long distance. I am trying to avoid excessive exercise at the moment.
Letting go is the only way to go forward. Feeling everything and 'connecting'. I trust in the process and it is flowing through me slowly and sometimes painfully. I have some good teachers who keep reminding me how far I have to go but also that everyone finds their own way and is different. Ultimately, however, pleasure and oneness is the goal, I recognise that there is a reason for not feeling the pleasure and the start of the journey is finding the cause, more correctly letting it come to me, and allowing it to be repaired. I know it's not easy and takes a long time. If I do nothing it will happen to me eventually, I am told I help it on its way by listening to myself and not fighting it.
Thanks for reading my post, I appreciate your time, that's more important than any advice in many ways.
PS you are right about the energies they are strong and I can't channel them effectively at the moment, it's exciting to think what might be possible, and that also drives me to work with it and go with the changes. Can't happen too fast as I'm always at work!!

I think you might have been running near empty for some time.
Putting the foot on the gas pedal re orgasm just may have emptied the tank.
The word that springs to mind is Replenishment.
The energy that you draw on needs to be replenished.
I get myself into a similar situation.
Rest is one way, but may not be easy.

Part One:- Revised
I make time to relax, 5 to 10 minutes. I breathe gently and keep my attention on the in and out breath. If I can relax a bit then I gently imagine I am open for replenishment and 'feel the energy of life permeating every part of my body.

My wife uses affirmations such as "I am replenished".

NB this is not to generate orgasmic energy - it is to replenish life energy!
I i changed the above.

@smudgefish, I sympathize with your situation. I am aware of emotional reactions to everything around me for the first time in my life. If I'm still I cry, shake, laugh, or rage to myself. It was exhausting but I trusted that this was happening for a reason, I needed to finally feel these things even though they were sometimes uncomfortable. I've made some najor life changes that have brought up the powerful emotions. I found that I tend to ignore the obvious problem, my divorce, my spouse's unsuccessful knee surgery, my guilt over that, and emote over minor things. I've learned I have to force myself to face the major problems and feel them deeply and maybe get some understanding. Sometimes I'm surprised to learn something new like I NEED TO FORGIVE MYSELF. Reminds me of @isvara's wife's expression.

I understand that you have a different problem from me being employed with a family and me being retired. You have to find your own way. I wish I could tell you the answer but I think you can figure this problem out. You are already doing that! I know the emotions can feel overwhelming, especially if you have to hold them in. But I find they are not anything I cannot handle while feeling them. They are like helpful friends telling me what I need to hear if I can listen. I believe they come from my soul, are an expression of it, a compass. When I am feeling them, I just feel grounded in my soul. I've misinterpreted them too, they can be tricky. Anger in particular can be confused with fear.

You're figuring out difficult things. You've made a start. For me a trap was feelings of discouragement and helplessness. Not all feelings are helpful LOL. You have good instincts.

There's a group called Cocounseliing International, CCI, in the UK that pairs up people who want to exchange time healing emotionally and listening. It's at http://www.co-counselling.org.uk. I was a cocounselor for a while. I wish they still existed in the US, I could use them now. (Oh I just found some events in the US). I've also given myself support from a psychotherapist, a couples counselor, and until recently, SSRIs. The latter cut me off from most of my emotions. This gave me a respite but became a crutch so I stopped them. I'm glad I did.

I have doubts about this process too. It's uncharted territory. Also the energy thing is new. I'm trying to believe that my deepest self has wisdom to see me through. Oh and the one thing that is getting me through this is listening to certain music. It seems to organize my emotions , difficult to explain. It's only some music, maybe that resonates with me. I can listen to it discretely when diving and some such. Here's my playlist and others : https://community.aneros.com/forum/discussion/16819/aneros-and-music.
I wish you well.

I agree with what @Canacan said about exercising. Even if it is only 30 minutes it will still do wonders. I've started back on my diet and hope to rejoin the pool to start swimming again in furtherance of this journey. Pay attention to the feeling after you have a good workout. I think that post-workout feeling is applicable to being in the right state of mind. Afterwards, you feel relaxed and feel good about yourself as your body releases endorphins throughout your body. This could be helpful.

Thanks again everyone, all good advice. Please excuse my self-pitying emotional 'vomit' this morning; although I do feel a lot better for it 🙂 Please just ignore me if I do that again.

@smudgefish, no need to apologize here. That's what this forum is for in part; honesty, sharing, help. Many of us have vented here with even less cause. Even I... 🙂

@isvara, I noticed you changed your comment below before I got a chance to comment on it. I actually do something similar to your original technique but I circulate the energy up my spine, around and down my front to my spine again or into the ground. This seems to cultivate and purify my energy.

Do you keep your tongue touching the roof of your mouth? The energy doesn't stay in your head?

I think you might have been running near empty for some time.
Putting the foot on the gas pedal re orgasm just may have emptied the tank.
The word that springs to mind is Replenishment.
The energy that you draw on needs to be replenished.
I get myself into a similar situation.
Rest is one way, but may not be easy.

Part One:- Revised
I make time to relax, 5 to 10 minutes. I breathe gently and keep my attention on the in and out breath. If I can relax a bit then I gently imagine I am open for replenishment and 'feel the energy of life permeating every part of my body.

My wife uses affirmations such as "I am replenished".

NB this is not to generate orgasmic energy - it is to replenish life energy!
I i changed the above.

Good advice for replenishing energy. I can see why you changed it.

@euphemistic,
I would seriously consider getting R Bruyere's Wheels of Light. It is like a plate of goodies, that look good, taste good and are good as well! It has quite a different approach to Brennan's Hands of Light.
It suggests that Americans have displaced the lower three Chakras so that the processing of energy may be flawed. It also find some are actually cut off below the waist - .(sex does not exist!). This may explain why the teenage pregnancies per head in U.S. are much more than in Europe. She also delves through cultures before the dark ages and find references to the energy systems.
She indicate that the base chakra is self contained and doesn't need the other chakras! (In other words we are incarnated) This matches the idea of the kundalini being coiled in the C1. Perhaps Aneros is an expected tool that begins the uncoiling the kundalini through C2. Being the centre of self love and sensuality. That leads to the super orgasmic experiences. .........
Sorry I am raving!

hey @isvara, rave at me all you want LOL. I'll look up that book in the library. Brennan's book is formidable but I'm getting something out of it. This is all new to me. Thanks you.

Are you retired too? I wouldn't have the time to study this stuff if I was not.

@isvara rave away, I like reading your thoughts on this.