After going through an erratic period of life the past few months and feeling extremely disconnected from my body I finally took the time to put myself first and for the last 3 weeks have been doing some fairly intensive healing.

I write this also because it's now occurred to me no matter how much you read about something, your mind somehow has to click in place through experience.

After gaining a little more understanding about energy and the body I had my first Aneros session for quite some time today.

Though my Aneros has a vibrating option I've decided to not use that again. 

It seems that though today's session still was nothing ecstatic in terms of achieving something mind blowing, "I feel like I'm finally getting it!"

What do I mean? The smallest of sensations and pressures I was an awful lot more appreciate of. Like every single one. I guess it's kind of like a "self mindfulness". 

I believe the recent meditation and QI gong I've been doing maybe has helped contribute towards this understanding.

Though I've never experienced orgasm, I feel a self understanding of why an orgasm would never have been possible in my previous state of mind. 

You literally need to heal to be open to the love your body wishes to receive.

Though I already had this understanding from an intellectual perspective, you can never internalise it until understood from a deeper perspective of your soul.

I feel more confident now that going forward I will make more progress than I had prior.

This is an inner journey of yourself, not merely some feeling we wish to attain!

At least that is my current way of understanding it from my level of consciousness.