Relaxing pleasure without being bored?

been a while since I posted here, thought I'd do a post; somehow reading the forum once in a while you get a little more optimistic which can enhance the experience.

Been at the aneros for pretty long and fairly consistently, it's rare that I go a week without some kind of session. Bought myself a Helix finally (had pro and eupho before) and it sits quite nice, felt good during the first session, it kinda sat tightly in a nice way, though I had a lot of buildup with lewds and nipple play. My sessions have been enjoyable lately but the aneros feels like it has been a smaller part of it, or not part of it in the right way. It seems kinda rough, desperate and often too cock focused the way I enjoy myself, wearing out my nipples, just trying to think of something that will instantly arouse me like trusting inside a woman and touching myself to the thought.

It's pleasant but I feel like it needs to happen in a more relaxing way, where it does not feel like constantly grasping for a higher level of pleasure always out of reach, where my chest does not dominate everything and I can focus more on breathing and the aneros inside me.

Relaxing being important is a pretty classic advice, and I did do that for a long period of time not long ago, but it seems like it easily ends up with either not feeling much or quickly becoming boring. I suppose what I am looking for is to feel aroused while being able to relax and give in to the feeling of it inside me, moving with breathing and subtle contractions. I do vaguely remember some nice sessions in the past where I managed to feel good sensations relaxing like that, but they are rare and difficult to get.

any ideas for relaxing more but also being aroused? For now one thing I found is just getting some more exercise helps a little, raises the testosterone and makes you feel a little less on edge (as you can when you practice semen retention a lot like me) which I think will help me be patient, but I still doubt I can keep things arousing in bed when the screen goes off and all I have is my mind.

I tried some nice audio but my headset is not too pleasant to wear and sometimes I find it feels pretty hard to relax with something constantly in your ear.