Relaxation-gctid10041

I think that your use of the words "trying" and "taking note" is the key to your problem . You are making a mental effort to relax whereas what you need to do is to let yourself go completely limp, stop analysing your condition .and let the involuntary movements carry you along to orgasm. I find that sometimes I am not letting myself go completely, and when I do the pleasure starts to intensify.

Thanks @wulff for taking the time to reply. I sort of know the answer, it's good to have it pointed out though, and gives me some encouragement.

The wife and children went out, and I had had enough and decided to have an orgasm with tension, got to the point of orgasm, and then completely went floppy and had an orgasm go off in my head. They all arrived back seconds after that started, and funnily enough my wife had just been almost knocked unconscious by my eldest daughter bringing the car boot lid down on her head - so whilst I had an orgasm in my head she had a head injury. She is better now but it stopped my orgasm in it's tracks, again....

Anyway, for a beginner maybe using tension was familiar enough to give me an orgasm, for a few seconds anyway, and now being better at relaxing I did manage to turn it into something else at the last moment. Maybe I will keep doing that for now.

I envy everyone who can do this un-interrupted.

@smudgefish I think that you are on the right track. How we each do this is highly dependent on our own personalities. I had to do this, progressively over a three month period.

Relax and do some simple butt play or nipple play task(s). Then relax again. (note that you can 'relax more') Agree with @wulff... don't analyze. It matters not whether you relaxed more because you tensed up during the 'exercise' or if you are really coming down the "relaxation tree"

It took me three months of this stairstep approach to "increased" relaxation brefore I "fell" into an orgasmic state and "allowed" the pleasures to engulf my body, mind and soul.
hth.... rook

For me relaxation is definitely key as is focus but tension can push things along too. Infrequent & very light single pulsing of muscles feels like it helps. I guess it helps with relaxation as it is easy to think you are relaxed when in fact you are not. The act of releasing after every pulse keeps you at a reasonable level of relaxation overall. Makes sense to me anyway.

Thanks @rook and @Jazzer, great advice. Something to be experimenting with. I'm going back to just enjoying normal tensed orgasms (it's a relief to have had a few great ones already) and going to try gently introducing relaxation rather than expecting a breakthrough with complete relaxation, that seems to be the best way to go without losing interest or making it seem like a chore, which it really shouldn't be!