Progress and frustration

Hello all,

I've just finished a session after almost 3 days without any masturbation, and the results were rather, well, interesting.

I still only have a peridise beginners pack so I started off by inserting the larger of the two and playing with my nipples. After reading a few posts on here, I've found that rubbing my nipples while using my aneros somehow makes the feelings in my prostate more 'real' and gratifying.
At first it followed the usual pattern of warm sensation, followed by pleasant fluttering and then onto involuntaries with pleasure spikes, but just like my previous sessions I spent most of the time not progressing any further than this.

This time I decided to keep going for another half an hour or so, and also give myself some external massage around my perinum aswell. Finally after almost half an hour of this, combined with occasionally rubbing my penis I started to get a deep, almost orgasmic buzzing on my prostate that lasted about 30 seconds at a time, and lead to a lot of extremely hard and exhausting contractions in my whole body. These shot pleasure up to the head of my penis, almost like the beginnings of a very strong point-of-no return before ejaculation but without ever getting there.

Eventually after another 10 or so minutes of this, I was so exhausted (and I must admit, frustrated) by these sensations that I forced several hard contractions that lead to a very sweet, but not particuarly long lived ejaculatory orgasm. Not what I wanted, but it still beats almost snapping my headboard with the effort of carrying on.

After this session I've come to a a few conclusions about my current progress..

1) My body is still only capable of generating really deep, orgasmic feelings in my prostate if I touch my penis, although I no longer need to keep touching it to stretch these feelings out. Cutting out 'regular' masturbation alltogether may be neccessary for me to get any further.

2) After about half an hour, I start to lose the sensation of having my aneros in, suggesting that I need a bigger model that does a better job of translating my involuntary contractions into prostate massage (the tap-tap-tapping of the Helix makes it look ideal, and is on my shopping list!)

3) I am still enormously impatient in my sessions and get bored easily. As I've learnt from the dozen or so sessions I've done since getting my peridise, as nice as the pleasant flutters and pleasure spikes are at the beginning of a session, becoming frustrated and forcing them to hurry the heck up just centers my attention back on the kind of 'immediate gratification' ejaculatory orgasm that I'm trying to get beyond.

At the moment, I must admit that getting much further seems a very difficult proposition indeed. Stil, a more suitable model of aneros, combined with a less aggressive technique should hopefully bring me a bit further in the coming months.