Lost my aneros mojo

Welcome!  Thank you for your story.  I too feel very sexual relative to my wife who is not, as well as feel the demands of a life of obligations.  I am happy to hear things are well overall for you.

As a new Aneros user, the principle of “receptivity”- an active observation of whatever sensations my body may provide- I believe has propelled me along.  Well that, along with this fine forum.  Maybe “receptivity” will help you.  I think of myself as radio antenna (to torture a metaphor, is receptive), picking up faint signals and amplifying them.  Or when I’m really excited, I’m a lightening rod in a thunderstorm!

Give yourself “time” to progress back to good times.  This is encouraging/who wouldn’t want to experience these!:

Posted by: @hiluxman

really amazing radiating tingling sensations

Best!  Let us know how you go.

Posted by: @hiluxman

I've lost my mojo and no amount of contractions or relaxing , focusing seems to make any difference, I’m sure others have been through this, so any advice would be gratefully appreciated.

First, let me say, when this occurs it may be time for you to take a break from Aneros use and deal with the other life issues which are pressing upon you. There may be a temptation to escape into the world of sensual pleasure afforded by Aneros use but such attempts are likely to fail unless the pressing issues you are facing are resolved in a satisfactory manner.

Temporary cessation of successful Anerosessions ('duds') does occur and is usually caused by one (or more) of the obstacles mentioned in the thread Identifying Obstacles to Progress.

You seem to be exhibiting a couple of those. From your years of practice you've probably come to expect a certain level of success with each Anerosession and now you've hit a rough patch in your path where the performance is not meeting your expectations, thus causing some frustrations. The solution for this obstacle is to simply drop any expectations and go back to the beginner's mindset. Look anew at all the tiny sensations you do receive through your usage and let that building arousal process start again but without the expectations of anything more than what your body is giving you at that time.

From what you've explained, you are also suffering from a very common named obstacle, that being 'mind noise', something I have to struggle with regularly as well. Life presents us with so many issues to deal with every day that we get stressed out, often beyond our own awareness of the stress level to which we've subjected ourselves. Dealing with all these issues, both consciously and subconsciously, is distracting and energy draining. It is no wonder that trying to have a successful, relaxing Anerosession while suffering from these 'mind noise' distractions is difficult at best. The solution here is not so simple. Obviously you can not make all those issues magically disappear but you can try to displace their influence by employing some of the tips identified in the thread Identifying Facilitators to Progress. I'm willing to bet that employing some of those tips will influence your sessions in a positive way. Good luck moving forward.

Good Vibes to You!

I can’t say I have experience with what you were experiencing, but another user recently posted about them going from being very orgasmic to having to start over again, after some major downers in his life over the course of a couple years. It surely has to do with the time you spent off, as well as the stress in your life. So I imagine the best thing would be to try and work on the major sources of stress in your life to get to a good place, and that may help you in the bedroom.  But it is normal that you have trouble calming your mind: a stressful job, kids… I don’t know how some of you guys do it all!

Seeing as your couple sex is hindered by your wife’s issues, maybe there are other ways you two can conceive of intimacy that would be more pleasing for her AND beneficial to your journey. That is, non-penetrative intimacy, based on gentle touch and caressing. I say this because caressing falls into a similar category to non-penile pleasure/orgasms, and for her caressing might open up other paths to pleasure that don’t remind her of her past problems.

@hiluxman

I experienced something similar, and what it took to "get the mojo back" was basically quitting my job and taking a long professional break, cutting some toxic people from my life, and going trough major lifestyle changes and introspection. I'm glad I did all of this, because evidently it had positive effects well beyond simple Aneros use, but none of this was easy and choices such as these come with a price.

I don't know exactly where you are in life at the moment, but I do think that if your situation is similar to mine, you'll have to fix some things. You going from "amazing results" to "not much" is probably a sign that some things are not as right as they could be. You probably don't have to make extreme changes like I did, but if your orgasmic adventures are truly important to you, I'd start thinking about what you can work on to make things easier on yourself.

I imagine you had more time to yourself during the period where you had your great results? Maybe the hardest thing to do for you, but one that could have a lot of impact, would be to have a talk with your wife about needing some alone time, discuss with her what you want to achieve during this time, and getting her to be supportive, or at least accepting. 

If you don’t already,start exercising. Lifting if possible. Make some changes to your diet,up your omega 3,fibre and vitamin D intake. These things will make your body and mind stronger by managing stress hormones better,plus they’ll give your testosterone a boost,which is always helpful.

An attitude readjustment would be beneficial too. Don’t focus on the negative chapter you WENT through. Focus on the fact you GOT through and are still standing. Your marital sex life has no real bearing on Aneros use unless it’s really bugging you. But unless your wife can be medically fixed up or therapy etc then that’s something out of your control,so don’t worry about it. Note you have mini o’s,so actually all of your prostate tools are still there and in working order.

Time to put some work into yourself.

@zentai 

Actually you are spot on and I have made some major changes in my life. Firstly due to the COVID saga we decided to simplify our lives. We sold the house and have moved into a place that needs some work. I am a builder so not a problem. But, we now have no mortgage no debts and already in six weeks I have had several days as the family have stayed down with family where we were. 
Life work balance is so important to us now and the pressure is off to grind out daily life and work. 
I have told my wife about my prostate buzzing and the need to do something about it, wanting to purchase a massager but she was quite dismissive. I will be going back down this route and pushing it. 
 So thanks.