learning to relax, experience

Yeah you want to urge it on, so you do it the only way you know how. The thing is, there are other things to pinch and other ways to bear down, they're way more subtle and invisible until you see them.
For example, when I want to push forward, I might increase my focus on a certain spot and what's happening there, or I might relax harder. It takes mental effort to resist the default physical "helpers", and relax through a feeling, even though it goes against your every instinct.

I fall into a trap where I get needy for release. I'm experiencing so much arousal that I want the natural conclusion, the full orgasm, and I want it so badly that I push for it. And so I fall back to the tools I'm familiar with from traditional masturbation.
I think the trick is to stop wanting the release, and allow yourself to be teased and tortured for a while, knowing the traditional methods of pushing-forward don't work in this place.
I think if you spend enough time in this mind-set, surrendering to the almost unbearable level of unresolved arousal, and enjoying it instead of trying to fight past it, the new tools become more visible.

This is where I am now with my sessions, and I'm really liking it. I get to a point where the arousal is making me want a release, but instead of trying for that release, I try to make the need itself greater, I want the need to become so intense and the close-to-ejaculation feeling to reduce me to helpless whimpering (I don't actually make the noise, but the feeling is there). Follow down this path, and awesome things happen. You learn to work with this feeling rather than against it.

There's a lot of talk about relaxation, and letting your body do what ever it wants, but how we interpret this can differ between people, and the distinction between what our body is doing by itself and what we're consciously doing because it's so hard-wired in us that it feels automatic.

There's a lot of talk about relaxation, and letting your body do what ever it wants, but how we interpret this can differ between people, and the distinction between what our body is doing by itself and what we're consciously doing because it's so hard-wired in us that it feels automatic."

- I would say that's the biggest part I struggle with... Distinguishing my voluntary "Okay I want release let me stimulate myself" mentality... From just being hard wired to pinch... But its odd if I relax then usually desire goes away... Okay I'll try to "torture" myself more and get caught up in desire instead of release... I'll try next time to remain relaxed and let the aneros' natural design take over if I can do it as easy as it can be said to lol....

I just tried and it ended with a super T although I've been actively trying to elax... I found myself loosing arousal with relaxation... And so I looked up porn... And really lost control for that desire to release... Which I find incredible lol.. But is that all there is to it? Directly denying urself of what u desire traditionally and trying to tease urself into it? That almost seems like placebo gone mad with aneros pressure deep inside

But is that all there is to it?
I dunno, I can't claim to have all the answers, I'm just sharing a theory on one aspect of it.

In my experience, trying to take control using the old traditional masturbation cues, can take you further away from where you want to be. Stopping this interference can be physical, in that you make a concious effort to relax and stop doing what you're doing. But you can also use your thoughts and attitude to prevent your physical interference, by deciding that you don't need the release, and that you're enjoying the excitement for what it is. That it's not a sensation that needs to be resolved by yet a different sensation, but one that can be allowed to bloom and intensify on its own, in its current form.

But again, we could be talking in two different languages here, and what I consider desire might not be the same way you're experiencing it. I think I'd describe it as a pleasure feeling that is present, but flat-lined, it feels good, but it begs to feel better. You try to push it higher by doing [A], because that feels like the right way to do it, but if you stopped trying [A], maybe and [C] would become more noticeable, or you realise you don't need to push it at all, you just have to bear it until it gets good in its own way.