I'm Back!

The past few months have been really something else. Pretty shitty honestly. My girlfriend broke up with me on our two year anniversary, I lost all zeal for life. Its just shit.

Anyways, about my progress: I finally got my spooky spinal chakra to stop. I was getting really scared for a while there. It was the most powerful thing I have ever really felt. I literally only got a tiny glimpse of how powerful a super-o is, and it scared the crap out of me. The fact I couldn't stop the energy from rising to my head really scared me as well, and it was ruining my sleep schedule. It had me awake until 5am a few days in a row, so I was exhausted and terrified id never be able to sleep normally again.

This is the past though, my spine is fine now, im sleeping great, and I decided its time I start trying to develop my MMO's again.

When I left off, I was finally starting to have prostate orgasms. Gosh, they were so good. Such a sweet feeling radiating from inside me. So much different from anything I've ever felt before.
My last session, I was lying down with my progasm, focusing on moving the chakra up my spine. In one moment, the gates broke loose, and chakra flooded up my spine and washed into my head. It was incredible. Not a strictly pleasurable feeling, but my concept of chi or chakra completely solidified. It wasn't too long before this that I thought chakra was "some bullshit that hippies tell themselves is real". My perspective of the universe changed. Anyways, it ended poorly because I tried to go to sleep, and the chakra wouldn't stop, and then i freaked myself out, making everything worse.

So here I sit typing. My life is back in order, and I have been depressed as ever because of the nature of ejaculatory orgasms. They alone cannot quench my thirst. I am famished and longing for nourishment, but they provide only a spoonful of food at a time.

So I need to figure out a couple things before I get started again:

1.) Who can I talk to (preferably in person) if I have another scare about losing control of the energy?

2.) How can I make sure that I'm not going to lose control again.

3.) What will I practice? When I lost control the first time, I was doing a hybrid of Tao and aneros. I think that may have made controlling it harder. The energy I was pulling up my spine was supposed to be relatively dosile penile energy, but was actually intensen prostate energy which was already orgasmic.

Any ideas on how to approach these questions would be appreciated!