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02/18/2025 12:33 pm
After a long hiatus, I recently started using my massagers again. Last night I had my most intense session ever. I first inserted my progasm junior. It was nice but nothing Earth-shattering. I had an intuition that I needed my progasm. After I inserted it, it was like putting just the right key in just the right lock. Lately, when the all the conditions are just, I will feel this strange sinking sensation. It's difficult to describe, but it feels like the energy in my body contracts and becomes concentrated in my prostate. Then there is an intense feeling of anticipation like I know something big is going to happen.
Last night I felt like I was so in tune with my body, and I could do no wrong. After inserting the progasm, it definitely felt different from the progasm junior. I felt a slight warm tingling sensation slowly building into an almost overwhelming bliss. I concentrated more intensely on the sensation which made it more intense. My whole body felt warm, tingly, and I felt so light. I had my eyes closed, and I thought I could see white.
For some reason I'm kind of nervous to talk about some other things I experienced, but I would like some perspective. I made some kind of breakthrough, but I'm not sure what to think about it or how to handle it. I will try to convey my experience as best as I can. However, my memory of the experience is somewhat fuzzy. Something about the experience altered my perception, and it made it difficult for me to recall everything. I'm nervous about being labeled a crazy person, but it's anonymous, so I suppose it doesn't matter.
I had this thought in my head that I was in the process of going through some kind of metaphysical gate or portal, that I was close to touching the Divine in some way. I had conscious control of the energy to some degree, although maybe that was illusory. The sensations reached a climax. I could feel energy streaming out of my body in waves. Intuitively I knew how to breathe to make the feelings more intense.
I felt like I went out of my body to some extent. I could feel myself on the bed, but at the same time, it also felt like I was about a foot off the bed and to the left a little; it's like I was in two places at once. I remember my head feeling strange. I felt like I was reaching out getting close to some kind of experience with the Divine. I had this profound feeling of peace and love inside of me. I had some vivid images coming into my mind, but I don't remember what they were. At some point I started feeling scared like I was going to die, although another part of me wanted to keep going and see where it would lead me. It felt like I was going somewhere, and I might not come back. A part of me didn't care if I left. At some point, I did consciously pull back a little.
Then I inserted my Eupho Syn Trident and also had some very pleasant experiences. By the time I stopped, about 2.5 hours had elapsed.
This whole experience has left me with questions. How far can you go with one of these sessions? Is it dangerous? Did I have the beginning of a Kundalini experience? Are there things I can do to make sure I don't lose my mind when I do one of these sessions?
Regal13 reacted
02/18/2025 2:24 pm
This whole experience has left me with questions. How far can you go with one of these sessions? Is it dangerous? Did I have the beginning of a Kundalini experience?
Earlier I would have answered this differently, but there's always the risk of saying "Don't do x, y and z" and some people using at as recipe rather than a warning. *shruggy* Apologies in advance for how direct this will be.
How far can you go ? Really deep. Is it dangerous ? Yes, potentially at the point you are at. Maybe not in general, but for you right now, yes. Reckless, I'd say. At least enough for a mental breakdown or triggering latent mental health issues. Kundalini ? Maybe, maybe not. An accidental spontaneous awakening is really something you want to avoid, if you're asking about it that means that you probably know a bit about it, which I think makes it more likely to happen because you might have a vague roadmap in mind already. AKA mind contamination.
Reread that bit you wrote and ask yourself it that sounds like fun.
At some point I started feeling scared like I was going to die, although another part of me wanted to keep going and see where it would lead me. It felt like I was going somewhere, and I might not come back. A part of me didn't care if I left. At some point, I did consciously pull back a little.
Pulling back was very smart indeed. I'd be worried about this, though :
Intuitively I knew how to breathe to make the feelings more intense.
Along with that part of you that doesn't care, that does not look too good from where I am. What do you think ? I think that the feel-good chemicals from sessions can cloud our judgment when it comes to reacting smartly to some of these unintended experiences. That goes double if any kind of drugs were involved. Then at some point you take a wrong step in your mind and...
I believe that you asking how to prevent losing your mind in the first place should cause you to take a long pause and sit down and think about it. I don't think the risk is worth it. For some reason, something makes you particularly sensitive to deep meditation issues, which means that you have to take this stuff very seriously indeed. Personally I've lost years of my life to this and I don't recommend going this way at all.
Ggringo reacted
Topic starter
02/18/2025 4:53 pm
@zentai Thank you for your thoughtful response. You have given me a lot to think about. I'm trying to figure out how to strike a balance between exploring and staying safe. I need to do some research on how to stay grounded while I'm doing this. I've been slowly building up to this point for several years. It feels like all of it is finally coming together and clicking.
I don't follow a particular organized religion, but I suppose I would call myself spiritual. That's a very vague term, but it's the best I can come up with. I am vaguely familiar with the existence of spiritual experiences like Kundalini, so mind contamination might be an issue. I don't use drugs at all.
You mentioned pre existing mental illnesses. I would say that I'm usually a very logical well-grounded person. I'm on the autism spectrum. I'm not sure what effect, if any, that would have on my experiences.
I've had other experiences that gave me pause. However, I thought maybe it was just part of the process to building up to it, and that maybe because I have been building up to it so gradually for so long that it would be safe.
I'm planning to wait a while before I try again. I feel like it's best to give my mind time to integrate and make sense of the experience.
Zentai reacted
02/18/2025 5:45 pm
I'll just say that when in doubt, pulling back is always the smart choice, but unfortunately for some people, their experience does not lead them to the outcome they wanted when they first started, and from there the only smart move is to not play at all. Which is a major bummer when thinking about all the time investment, but safety comes first in my opinion.
Is is OK if I send you a private message ?
Ggringo reacted
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