How to separate Ejaculation from Orgasm

Google returned 1,080,000 results to the question "How to separate Ejaculation from Orgasm?"

Interesting topic; I too would like more info and opinions on this. I sometimes slip over the PONR when I edge and . I would also like to incorporate more penis simulation in my sessions and having a greater understanding of the PONR would be quite helpful. I have conditioned myself to NOT touch my penis during sessions, now that I at least partially re-wired, it's somewhat distracting when I do.

A pseudo method that I have used which has varying degrees of success is a culmination of something that I read years ago on this forum and some tantric stuff which I am not really into but find it interesting. Typically I’ll use a buttplug while slowly stroking myself and really concentrating on being totally relaxed in the pelvic region and focusing on deep relaxing breathing. The buttplug seems to amplify the effects and it seems like I can feel it applying pressure on my prostate after a few minutes. Which at that point I really have to focus my thoughts on breathing and direct the pleasure toward the prostate otherwise the excitement level gets a little too high and I’d have to stop for a minute. After a few minutes of this usually I can sense what feels like an orgasm coming on and the intensity varies much like with a prostate orgasm. I can feel contractions and a deep pleasure which can last a few seconds to maybe a minute but no ejaculation. It is an interesting experience.

I can only explain this as it relates to my own body and personal experience. I will never forget the day I experienced my first true orgasm. I had been experimenting with prostate play and "cum control" for a while (since I was a junior in high school), but with average results, just the normal thrill anyone gets from playing with their booty for the first time. It was only later as a freshman in college that I experienced a "breakthrough". I was masturbating as usual (jerking off with some ordinary object filling my hole) and it happen! Intense pleasure running through my whole body. My body quivered and spasmed as wave after wave of pleasure pulsed through it. I couldn't help but moan. My head was spinning, lifting, and smashing into my mattress. The pleasure didn't stop. It happened over and over again as I continued to play with my cock.

I'm 26 now and I still experience intense orgasms like this. When I reflect back on my journey, there are definitely a few ah-ha moments worth mentioning, my first true orgasm being one of them.

But how did I get there? And how to decide what was important and what wasn't in my journey to where I am today? I'm not sure there's a right answer, but I'll try my best to boil it down.

When I was in high school I would read forums and blogs about how to have multiple orgasms. But when thinking back to those early days only one piece of advice stands out. Recognize the difference between ejaculation and orgasm. I'm sure there's a very technical difference, but knowing technicalities won't make much of a difference when playing with yourself. So why not just play with yourself. Jerk off. That's what I did. Actually, I was following something I read. Jerk off. Do it to the point of no return. Do it til you know you're gonna shoot your load. But before that first wad of cum pulses out of your cock, stop jerking. Let go of your dick and just let it shoot on its own. I know what you're thinking….What a waste!

But trust me. It isn't! Pay close attention to what's happening down there: to your body and what you're feeling. Notice your balls getting tight, your ass start to squeeze, your body growing tense, and the contractions that force your prostate to empty as you shoot your spunk. Most importantly notice the pleasure you're feeling and where it's coming from. Notice how even after the cum stops shooting you still feel pleasure. Your body is still hot, tense, and contracting involuntarily. Only by letting go of your cock, can you notice this. Otherwise, it’s sensory overload. It's just COCK, COCK, COCK, and nothing else. You miss the subtle difference between ejaculation (basically your cum shooting out) and orgasm (all the contractions and warm fuzzy feelings of pleasure). Try it out. Do it over and over again. Become AWARE of it. That's the best advice I have.

But there's more. Years fall between the advice I just finished telling you and what I'm about to say. Hopefully it happens sooner for you. So back to that glorious day when I was masturbating in my dorm room. What happened? What was different about that day compare with all the other days I decided to spill my load? I took my time. I was excited and horny, but I took my time. I worked my cock slowly, building up. I rubbed my perineum like a girl rubs her slit. Sometimes in a circular motion. Sometimes with broad strokes. I even rubbed the tip of my hole. The build up is important. But even more important was that fact that I was aware of what I was feeling as I was feeling it. (Let that last sentence sink in.)As I was approaching my climax and enjoying myself, I stopped and remembered the advice I told you earlier. I realized then how tense my body was. My muscles were tight. My ass was squeezed shut. I told myself to consciously relax these muscles. I did. And I continued to jerk. My body grew tense again and so try my best to consciously relax my body, especially my booty. It was like this back and forth: my will against my body as I jerked. Until my body just SNAPPED!!! And like that I was in total ecstasy. My body contacting involuntary, spasm after spasm. No cumshot. No ejaculation. And at that point I wasn't even touching my penis because I was so overwhelmed by the whole episode. When my orgasm finally subsided, I tried it again with the same phenomenal results. I repeated this until I couldn't bare it any longer and shot my load.

It's hard to describe. It's like my body is a battery charging that suddenly releases all of its energy. Maybe a better analogy would be a dam in a storm. The water filling the dam is all my sexual energy building as I approach orgasm. The water wants to break the dam down and my body wants to cum. But the floodgates open and some water is released. In the same way, as I relax my body and all that tension is released, the energy building between my legs suddenly needs somewhere to go. It washes over my entire body as I orgasm.

@Jesse
Great post, thank you for your insights!

Hey @The_Bishop ,

timeless question(s). I've written about this here, here and here. Keep in mind, that my babbling is highly speculative and not backed by actual research (as far as I know).

How do you separate Ejaculation from Orgasm? I know I can do it (dry orgasm) but how does it happen?

Orgasm is a brain and nervous system phenomenon. In it's general form (= Super-O / Energy-O), it's built in very deep in us. In it's specialized form (= Traditional-O) it's a spinal reflex which again triggers the ejaculatory reflex. The common scientific doctrine only covers the spinal reflex, which is considerably researched and well understood. IMHO, that's why the female g-spot is so controversial - it doesn't fit in the doctrine of hardwired genital nerve-tissue (penis/clitoris) triggering a spinal reflex. But I digress...

To answer your question: you don't separate ejaculation from orgasm, but orgasm from your genitals - hence the infamous no penis-rule while anerosing. You avoid triggering the spinal reflex orgasm (hence the ejacuatory reflex) and train your brain to reach orgasm in other ways. In the end, all you need is to tickle some nerve endings and a receptive brain that builds this input into orgasm. Since your whole body is full of nerve endings, you can get quite creative but it's proportionally easier the more nerves are involved. That's the key strengh of your genitals in the first place: the sheer amount of nerve endings. And that's also the reason, why the same alternative hotspots work for most of us (anus, prostate, nipples): they are dense with nerve endings too.

I hope this helped a bit.

Cheers, Unfug

I first learned how to separate orgasm and ejaculation back in 1990. I had bought the first edition of the ESO book, spent a lot of time experimenting etc.

https://www.amazon.ca/ESO-Lover-Extended-Sexual-Orgasm/dp/0446677620/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

I haven't read the more recent edition, but the 1983 edition was very helpful. It was in that book that I learned about the prostate and its role sexually.