Buildup and release of an Orgasm..

Trying to take an unscientific survey here. I've been making great advances with my aneros but i'm concerned i might still be rushing things.. let me explain.

With a traditional penile orgasm you consistantly stroke your penis and the pleasure builds in intensity and eventually goes over the edge - all on its own so long as the stroking/breathing/heartrate are there. In essence the orgasm "comes to you and your brain" on its own without you having to "look" for it, force it or reach out mentally.

With the aneros I seem to find myself doing more of the reaching out to enter an orgasm, rather than the full power of one coming to me and overwhelming me with pleasure totally on its own (via contractions/invols/breathing).

What's most people' experience with how they orgasm? Should i wait out only for orgasms which build and then drench me in pleasure purely on their own? I'm sensing that reaching out/encouraging them might fall into the "rushing/getting too involved" situation which we know is an aneros no-no. Of course this could all be chalked up to impatience..:)

Comments?